2 irrelevant things…

I was in the shower (no no no no no just keep reading) and since my throat was hurting a bit I decided to think instead of sing. And hell, I seriously belt in the shower! I was halfway through my rendition of Ben Lee when we was on the ski trip last year, but Carmaine and Bee made me shut up. Okay, the point is, I was in the showering thinking about what I should write in my blog, since Vania said she won’t comment until I write another one tonight. And the following occurred to me:

I wasn’t this passionate about blogging (measured by the fact that usually, when I’m not singing in the shower, I’m thinking about TV or food or…”stuff”) a while ago, how come so into it now? Well, it was mainly because Dani started to blog frequently and I thought, I should too. After finding Vania’s and then having Carmaine start her blog, the “pressure” to keep posting just kept on mounting. I am a posting maniac now!

But that just all led me to the belief that I am a sheep, not a shepherd. I do things because other people do things. Okay, to clear the air, that doesn’t mean if everyone starts taking drugs and having unprotected sex, I would too, because they’re both the most idiotic thing you can do. But it does make me realize how much of a drone I am.

Would that define me in the future? Would I be another faceless office worker? No I shudder to think that. Even though I was confused as to what I really want to do for a career, I was pretty damn sure I wanted to work for myself. Whether that means freelance work or not – tough profession but summun’s gotta do it – I don’t know. But I love the thought of my own den, and just working away in an environment I am comfortable in. That’s why I can imagine – or would rather imagine – myself living with Dani or Carmaine or any other friend, because they wouldn’t be oppressive like my parents.

I’d hate to be a leader though. People have told me that I have leadership qualities. Probably do if I put my mind to it but honestly I am too lazy a person (and frankly, too indifferent to other people) to be a good leader. So no. In a tough spot, I may be able to be relied on to think up ways to salvation/safety/freedom/whatever, but otherwise, no.

Hmm, I was going to include some funny links, which was why the title was 2 irrelevant things but I just thought of another point I want to put out there.

I wrote that in a tough spot I can be relied on, but I meant in things like a large group, say like in Lost how people got…ahem…lost. I can probably keep a level head in those situations. But I am going to be talking about something else.

I want to think that I matter to someone. Not like “you matter, you’re my friend” kind of thing. But that I really matter. That someone just can’t live without me, and there is no substitute for me. Even if the feeling is temporary, I want it. I guess maybe that’s why I want a partner so much. Because they would totally rely on me to be there, just like And- and Dani. I was reading his comments to her on her blog, and I want someone to rely on me and need me the same way Dani needs him.

But okay “melo” moment over.

Here are the fun stuff.

On Tuesday I went to VET but did abso-freakin’-lutely nothing. That’s why I blogged, you know. So I went on Funny Junk and I found the following pictures:

http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/7185/Bear+Warning/ (long read but worth it)

But, also I want to show you this really cool human snake thing, and it was done with stop motion animation, and for the Yr 12 video I seriously want to do something like that:

And finally, Vanilla Sky’s cover of Umbrella by Rhianna, which is just fantastic, and the video is not bad either (some draggy parts but otherwise a good laugh):

That’s all.

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. I still love You more than ever.

So I says to him I says…

I am sitting in my Eng Lang class, and And- did’t show up, so we’re just sitting here with a sub who won’t let us leave. Yet.

Carmaine and Eunice are in the next classroom, in English. It’s such a lazy and bright day.

I hate that summer is creeping up. I hate the warm weather. Mostly I hate sweating. And I do a LOT of that.

Yesterday on the train we started discussing New Year’s. Carmaine will be on a cruise from 18th of Dec to just before New Year’s, so she’ll be away for Christmas (unfortunately) but she’ll be back for 2009. I really don’t want to have to spend another NYE with my parents pushing me to go to bed, and then finally sitting there in the most unenthusiastic countdown you can imagine, and then going to bed after a few minutes of the fireworks.

I want to be in the city, or at a party, or somewhere where everyone else is excited! And then we count down from 10, and it feels like we’ve achieved something when New Year’s comes.

While it goes without saying that my parents most likely wouldn’t let me sleep over at anyone’s place NYE (original rule PLUS the whole “spend time with your family” crap they spine every year) I stll think it would be pretty dandy to count down to the new year with BRuCE. While Bee and I were pretty interested in booking a hotel room for that one night, and then going to the city for the big countdown, Carmaine was a bit more iffy, saying that the city is full of drunks and idiots on that night. Fair enough, but it’s the spirit. But anyway, it would be really expensive so for now we’re just dreamin’.

Speaking of the family crap I was talking about…

Sometimes I wish I can just shut myself up, or go back a few seconds and literally CLAMP MY MOUTH SHUT because sometimes I say the most insensitive things. I was just saying how I can’t stand another NY with my parents, Bee said quietly, “well I don’t think I will do anything with you guys on NYE because I want to spend it with my dad.” And that moment I wish I can just cut my own tongue out because I was just idiotic. Or when I complain about my mom to April, I think aboutit afterwards and honestly I am an ASSHOLE.

Happier topic…

Today I had a double free and I forgot to bring my DS so while in the first period I did Japanese homework (read: copied it off April) I didn’t have ANYTHING to do 2nd period. It was quite sad. Without my DS, who am I?

April was quite gleeful at my downfall.

Carmaine gave me a really really really tight hug today; I think I have bruising on my ribs. But but, of course as always it was well worth it.

Carmaine and I asked Bee what the Cold War was. For ages Bee thought we were joking, but, honestly, neither of us knew what the Cold War is. Apparently, it was Russia v USA in nuclear or something war, and it was “cold” because neither party were near each other.

I might write a bit more later when I get home. School blocks funnyjunk.com so I will post up some funny pictures when I can get to them. Besides, there’s a whole train ride during which something can happen that’ll make me wanna write about.

As a final note: Today I didn’t see Dani at all. Thursdays she has a double free at the end of the day so usually she goes home, and in the morning I didn’t see her. It doesn’t mean she’s not here but the possibilty of that is quite likely as well.

On the formal night (for everyone else. Haha rumor has it that we are the formal-boycott group) Sonam, April, Ti-, Vania and apparently 2 others are NOT going, and we’re seeing Persepolis or Tropical Thunder, and then eating at Achelya’s. I might find their restaurant site, but the point is April works at Achelya’s (unfortunately, that very night, so only other of us are eating) and we want to meet Kitchen Boy (read her blog).

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. I love You, from “Ley” apparently. I wrote “Lex” in a note for Carmaine but didn’t cross the “x” properly and it read Ley.