I was in the shower (no no no no no just keep reading) and since my throat was hurting a bit I decided to think instead of sing. And hell, I seriously belt in the shower! I was halfway through my rendition of Ben Lee when we was on the ski trip last year, but Carmaine and Bee made me shut up. Okay, the point is, I was in the showering thinking about what I should write in my blog, since Vania said she won’t comment until I write another one tonight. And the following occurred to me:
I wasn’t this passionate about blogging (measured by the fact that usually, when I’m not singing in the shower, I’m thinking about TV or food or…”stuff”) a while ago, how come so into it now? Well, it was mainly because Dani started to blog frequently and I thought, I should too. After finding Vania’s and then having Carmaine start her blog, the “pressure” to keep posting just kept on mounting. I am a posting maniac now!
But that just all led me to the belief that I am a sheep, not a shepherd. I do things because other people do things. Okay, to clear the air, that doesn’t mean if everyone starts taking drugs and having unprotected sex, I would too, because they’re both the most idiotic thing you can do. But it does make me realize how much of a drone I am.
Would that define me in the future? Would I be another faceless office worker? No I shudder to think that. Even though I was confused as to what I really want to do for a career, I was pretty damn sure I wanted to work for myself. Whether that means freelance work or not – tough profession but summun’s gotta do it – I don’t know. But I love the thought of my own den, and just working away in an environment I am comfortable in. That’s why I can imagine – or would rather imagine – myself living with Dani or Carmaine or any other friend, because they wouldn’t be oppressive like my parents.
I’d hate to be a leader though. People have told me that I have leadership qualities. Probably do if I put my mind to it but honestly I am too lazy a person (and frankly, too indifferent to other people) to be a good leader. So no. In a tough spot, I may be able to be relied on to think up ways to salvation/safety/freedom/whatever, but otherwise, no.
Hmm, I was going to include some funny links, which was why the title was 2 irrelevant things but I just thought of another point I want to put out there.
I wrote that in a tough spot I can be relied on, but I meant in things like a large group, say like in Lost how people got…ahem…lost. I can probably keep a level head in those situations. But I am going to be talking about something else.
I want to think that I matter to someone. Not like “you matter, you’re my friend” kind of thing. But that I really matter. That someone just can’t live without me, and there is no substitute for me. Even if the feeling is temporary, I want it. I guess maybe that’s why I want a partner so much. Because they would totally rely on me to be there, just like And- and Dani. I was reading his comments to her on her blog, and I want someone to rely on me and need me the same way Dani needs him.
But okay “melo” moment over.
Here are the fun stuff.
On Tuesday I went to VET but did abso-freakin’-lutely nothing. That’s why I blogged, you know. So I went on Funny Junk and I found the following pictures:
http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/7185/Bear+Warning/ (long read but worth it)
But, also I want to show you this really cool human snake thing, and it was done with stop motion animation, and for the Yr 12 video I seriously want to do something like that:
And finally, Vanilla Sky’s cover of Umbrella by Rhianna, which is just fantastic, and the video is not bad either (some draggy parts but otherwise a good laugh):
De Fluffe, Out.
P.S. I still love You more than ever.