To You

This is a special message to a special someone, who I know reads this (every now and then) and who will know when she reads this:

Please don’t pretend everything is okay. I mean, if it truly honestly is then I guess you’re not pretending but, as is, I know it’s not all real. I know pretending is a defense mechanism and I respect that, and you know I respect it, but you don’t have to be defensive around me and the other one (yes, sorry had to say “the other one”).

If something is the matter, please, please, please talk to us. No problem is too small or big, too trivial or hopeless. I take pride in knowing that I am one of the few who can make you genuinely smile, and it will “make me feel better” (a term you used when I had to get something off my chest to you, remember?) if I can also confidently know that you feel safe in coming to me.

I love you. I love you I love you I love you I love you. I hope that’s enough affirmation for you to feel happy and comfortable around me. But I am so worried, and so is she. I know you tell us not to worry, and I know you say they’re just phases and imaginations, but I don’t care, I still worry. You know that I found heaps more white hairs? We stress each other out, right?

I probably should’ve left this for your end-of-year letter, because, well posting this publicly is so…public. But I don’t want you to read the letter and have it filled with bad negative stuff because I want that one to be as amazing and changing as your one.

So, my dear “you”, please lean on me. I’ll help you carry on.

Lex.

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