“Prostitutes…I call them street babes”

Today I went to Jack’s tutoring in Springvale, for Methods. His thing is ran from his garage (it’s air conditioned with blinds and floor tiles and tables and shiz).

He’s a funny guy, Jack. He started off his class by telling us not to look at our girlfriends/boyfriends, or talk to them. We can sit in their laps but we can’t talk to them. As long as we do our work. He explains that he doesn’t talk very fast, unlike what people think gay people do. He pointed at his tie, which was pink. “Pink’s gay, right?” And when we got to a question g, he said “I like g. G is for gay.” Unfortunately five minutes later he had to explain that he wasn’t gay, he just liked making jokes about gay people. Most of the class went “ohh” because we thought he was serious.

He started telling us about how on St Kilda beach, if you drive into the smaller streets, there’re prostitutes everywhere. He taught us to keep driving straight and not honk them because then they’d just hook onto you. Same deal with Kings Cross in Sydney. He said for you to just keep walking straight ahead. He had to, since he was there with his parents.

At some point, he was trying to help us identify if a point is a cut, a turning point or a point of inflection. He said “I’m going to use my finger now. Can you see my finger? Everyone, follow my finger. I use all the different parts of my body when I teach maths. When I point, it’s finger-technique. When I write, it’s hand-technique. When I speak, it’s oral-technique.” Then he raised two fingers, like you would when you mimick a gun except no thumb (to put crudely, like you would when you’re fingering a certain somewhere) and said, “These are very important tools.”

He told us about how he used to have an ex-girlfriend but she broke up with him. So he has a photo of her and that’s all he needs to be happy. The other day him and his mates went to have a beer and their mates were with their wives and he was with his photo. His mates called him weird. His wife also calls him weird. I was just about to say out loud “Because you worship a photo of your ex-girlfriend?”

He told us to work hard in Year 12. He asked us, “Why should you work hard in Year 12?” and then promptly answered himself, “So you don’t end up living in Springvale.” “If you work hard in Year 12, you can have all the babes you want in university.” Wise words from a wise – and odd – man.

Keep Cool (and out of Springvale – not a stab at people living there but hey, what are we all working towards?)

D.F.

A Wonderful Dream Come True

Aw shucks, why not? I can have dreamy moments (stolen off Bee) every now and then.

I was actually wondering what I should title this awesome blog when I remembered talking to Carmaine about it last night, and her saying “I could always dreeeeeam”. And so I suppose this is a dream come true for my friend. Apologies in advance to Bee for nicking that title, and to Ula, in case you didn’t want me to spread it around. But seriously. It’s awesome!

To catch my readers up, Ula is a friend of mine from my previous school, Brentwood. I know I should censor her name but meh. Anyway, last year (2008 – oh ha if I close the bracket straight after 8 it becomes a smiley face) she came to MacRob, and as I was taking her around on her orientation day, seeing as I know her, she told me that she’s dating a guy so awesome that they’re going to get married. I was really stunned, and for about an hour afterwards I kept on asking her questions and planning out small details of her wedding (girly moments are totally allowed) and generally shaking my head and saying “oh my god wow”.

Ula left our school at the end of 2008, and is going to another that offers VCE 3/4 subjects that she wants (I think music centric). It was a pity she left our school. I’m back to being the only Brentwoodese. Another reason I’m annoyed her is the following:

After finding out she left, I called her to warn her to tell me when Vlad proposes, which he will before January is over, Ula had said. They’d wanted their wedding to be right after she turns 18, in early 2009. Ula in turn promised to tell me when it happens.

Last night, I was online with Julia and Carmaine, and out of the blue Ula pops up and says, “Hey I know you told me to tell you when it happens. Well it’s a day late…but Vlad and I are now officially engaged.”

My classy reply was, “OMG OMG OMG AHHHHHHHHHHH OMG OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING!”

I was actually physically scream-whispering “AHHHHH” and laughing and everything. I told Carmaine immediately, and in my haste to read what Ula was writing, I made a huge typo. Carmaine asked me what I’d written. I re-wrote it, apologizing for my excitement. She said, “I can usually understand your typos; you must be REALLY excited.”

I don’t know if Ula would want me to post how he did it? Actually, I don’t even know if I should post the fact at all. But I’m sure she must be so over the moon right now that she’d want EVERYONE to know. Well, I made a small dedication to her on my display name, and in turn 3 or 4 people immediately asked me, “Oh my gosh, is Ula getting married?” So I suppose the word is going to spread anyway.

It’s rather the awesome to be thinking that one of my friends is ENGAGED, to be MARRIED, and I can refer to him as her FIANCE. Julia remarked that I was so excited when one friend got engaged, what would happen if all my friends got engaged at once?

Okay, so maybe there is such a thing as “true love” and some of us are just lucky, to be able to find it so early on in our lives (considering Ula’s previous boyfriend was a douche…oh wait…I wonder if his girlfriend reads this?) and to be so happy and to be living that dream that I’m sure all normal girls have had (note: normal – and April don’t you dare correct me by saying “note: girl”).

The point is, the second reason I’m annoyed at her for leaving was because I’d envisioned him proposing at the Yr 12 formal for MacRob. Or at least I’d get to see her flaunt her engagement ring. But noooo.

Congratulations, Ula and Vladimir (did I spell his name right?). Or should I say Soon-To-Be-Mr-And-Mrs-Protassow?

Keep Cool (and believing in love)

D.F.