The Stupid Douchey Thing I Did Today…

This really was one of those token non-too-personal embarrassing things to happen.

I was at Safeway with my dad after Chinese school, had my iPod in and was in a half-daze because I was really tired. I was in the biscuits aisle, and mom had just gone off saying something about getting Lipton Tea that was on sale. Anyway, so I doubled back down the aisle to grab a box of Shapes and I turned around, and saw a trolley with a box of Lipton Teabags in it, so I put my Shapes in there, saying in Chinese, “Why are we getting teabags again?”

I looked up, and a confused pottering old lady stared back at me, her gaze saying, “What in the devil’s name are you doing putting a box of Shapes in my trolley? Do I know you?”

So, in an act of inifite grace, I snatched the box of Shapes back, burying my face in my hands and saying, “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY! I am so embarrassed! I thought you were my dad!” And she asked me, “Do I look like your dad?” Well, no, my dad’s Asian, male, and fat. You’re old, white, and a woman (I think) so…”No no, it’s just…I was distracted and I…don’t worry, ignore me. Just ignore me. I’m so sorry. Bye…!”

Keep Cool (and your eyes peeled. It’s a metaphor.)