Protected: Reasons

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Hypothesis

Maybe she didn’t blog because she didn’t want to.

Maybe she had a lot to blog about in the past few days, and had been on the brink of insanity and depression but didn’t. Because she thought she’d get out of it. Maybe she did get out of it. Maybe she didn’t.

Maybe she had a huge load that needed to be dispersed, and blogging was the only way to do it. Except Time had dispersed it. Or maybe Time had merely covered the symptoms.

Maybe she’s fine.

Maybe she’s been doing great in her life, and she’s looking forward to the holidays, when she can sleep in.

Maybe she’s worried about upcoming SACs, such as her Chinese oral, or her English Language, or Methods.

Or maybe she has resolved to prepare thoroughly like she’s never done before.

Maybe both. Maybe she’s okay and she’s not okay. She can’t be certain what she is, because even she doesn’t know.

Confusion, that’s part of it, but something more. Sometimes she’d glide away and there would be stretches of time, white time, until she’d come back and the entire prospect of the future would come crashing down on her. She’d feel like she was suffocating, drowning, and the only way out is to end it herself so that she wouldn’t have to succumb to another power.

The trick then, was to distract herself and pretend that she’ll get through it.

Alex.