Pictures are all that I have

Sometimes – no, almost always- I wish I could be in photos with them, so it actually looks and feels like I’m in the group.

I’m never really there, when the mood strikes. And the mood never strikes, when I am there.

I try not to take it personally, but each of their smiles makes my heart rip.

I am not going to take it personally, dammit. I said I’m tired of this shit, but I still let myself get caught up in it.

Alex

I was bored and trying to distract myself; it didn’t work

What are you listening to right now?
No Such Thing – John Mayer

Have you ever eaten sushi?
Well, according to a certain someone, I’m Asian therefore I must’ve have eaten sushi.
Yes I have.

What is bothering you?
A text I got at 2 am this morning.

Do you have somebody you can tell anything to?
I used to. I don’t know if I still do. Maybe.

Expecting something to change in the next month?
For my own sake I hope so.

What was the highlight of your day?
Today? Nothing. Yesterday? Ninja.

Do you need to say anything to someone?
Yes. They won’t listen.

Did you have a good day yesterday?
Yes.

Do you like messages or comments better?
What do you mean? Do you mean when someone comments a wall post instead of sending one themselves? I don’t really care.

The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it?
Snoopy fans, yes.

Do you own a camera phone?
No. Wait yes. I don’t know. I don’t use the camera function.

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired?
Yes.

Do you like the town you are living in?
It’s not done anything bad to me yet.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger?
Yes. At the bed. I can’t afford to break it.

How many months until your birthday?
Had mine in the July just passed.

How are you feeling right now?
I’m doing this instead of Chinese. And study. You tell me.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Can’t. Have to do more Chinese that I will put off tonight.

Are you jealous of someone right now?
Yes.

Is it cute when girls kiss you on your cheek?
Lol yes?

Do you like to cuddle?
Sure.

When is your birthday?
10th July.

Is this year the best year of your life?
No.

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around now?
Yes.

Would you rather dye your hair or go tanning?
Dye.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
11. It’s not staying up.

Is it easy to annoy you?
Depends.

Is your bed comfortable?
Yes.

Is your sister a slut?
The imaginary one? No, she’s a very good role model.

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do?
Yes, of course.

What/who woke you up this morning?
Dad.

Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning?
Night.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you?
Probably mom when she went to grab something for me. No one really goes into my bedroom save myself.

Who is the last person you took a picture with?
Dani.

Whats one thing you’re tired of?
All this shit that seems to just seek me out.

Who means the most to you in your life right now, other than family?
I don’t know anymore.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
Yes.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
Yes.

What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11?
Make a wish. Or call Catherine and tell her to make a wish just to annoy her.

Who was the last person that hit you?
Carmaine.

Is there a song that every time you hear it, you think of someone?
Yes.

Can you commit to one person?
Yes.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
No.

Has anyone ever said something that brought tears to your eyes?
To me or on TV? Yes, and yes.

Who is the last person you ate with?
Carmaine, Dani etc yesterday at lunch.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

Think back to the last person you hugged; do they mean anything to you?
Amie? Of course, she’s bloody brilliant.

Does anyone have STRONG feelings for you?
I highly doubt it.

Are you in a good mood right now?
Do I sound like I’m in a good mood?

So be honest, do you have a guy?
No.

Do you fall for people easily?
Yes.

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Chinese, as pre mentioned.

Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
Won’t hurt.

Does anyone know your password besides you?
I think she forgot she knows.

Would you rather sing or dance in front of 100,000 people?
Sing.

Do you currently like someone who doesn’t know you exist?
Oh they know I exist.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
I just said I can commit.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Coke Zero.

Do you laugh a lot?
Depends on mood.

Do you like to hold hands?
Yes.

What were you doing at 11 this morning?
Knox, Target, trying to find a shirt for Valedictory which I don’t even want to go to anymore.

Where will you be at 8:30 tomorrow morning?
In bed.

Is there someone you want a hug from?
Yes.

I bet you’re thinking of someone?
Of course, the moment I read that I thought of someone, it’s only natural.

When is the last time you talked to your biological father?
Assuming I am not adopted, 2 minutes ago.

What’s more important, trust or happiness?
Today, I’d say trust. Last night I’d’ve said happiness.

What shoes did you wear today?
Etnies.

Are you currently wearing a shirt with long or short sleeves?
Sweater.

Do you regret anything you’ve done this year so far?
Yes. Every year.

What usually wakes you up in the morning?
Phone.

Are you wearing short shorts?
No, I never wear short shorts except in bed.

Ever had a girl best friend?
I’d like to think so.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Dad, “let me keep sleeping.”

If someone is doing something that pisses you off, do you tell them?
Depends on my mood. Mostly these days yes.

Will this coming up weekend be a good one?
The one I’m in right now? Not looking very good.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
Yes.

Are you better at remembering names or faces?
I think I’m equally good at both.

Think a lot before you go to sleep?
Yes.

Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunsets?
Both.

Are you wearing anything on your feet?
Socks and shoes.

I am Ninja, TOO!

Ah, my second Ninja day of the year.

Today’s dress up theme included Pirates vs Ninjas. I decided to be a Ninja. Took the early train to school (unnecessarily it turned out), so that Dani could help me get more gear on.

Zara and Dani arrived sort of just before the bell, and they helped me put on quite a few pieces of material (three to be exact) around my head to make the ninja head-gear. Then some red fabric around my forehead and around my forearms and I became Ninja #4. All the way down the corridors the minions below me looked on in awe, “Wow, so cool, a ninja!” they gushed. And I smiled. But you couldn’t tell.

Ah! Nearly forgot to mention Dom’s awesome black belt. Funny story. Dom is a black belt in karate, and so I borrowed his black belt to look H.C. I was wearing it and showing the name on the belt “Sempai Dominic T-” and Dani and Carmaine (at different times) said, “Oh, did he buy a belt and get it custom made to have his name on it?”

“No,” I said, “he’s actually a black belt.”

Dom, I took a picture holding up your name in the belt. Will get it to you when I have it. Ha…

Ghosted quite a few people. For some reason being in Ninja gear (albeit stuffy and hot) made me very silent. I ghosted Shaz halfway down L2 before she saw me out of the corner of her eyes and jumped.

I snuck up on quite a few people and simply stood there staring at them (with my Asian Ninja eyes) until they noticed me and jumped.

And for some reason, wearing Ninja gear made me invisible to people I was walking towards, face on, until I was breathing on their face. They jumped.

April, Dani, Zara, Runa and myself all dressed almost identically. So at recess and lunch we just sat together, and people kept on asking us, “are you plotting something?”

I know we looked intimidating.

Eating was hard. I had to remove the face piece for a while, to breathe, to drink, to eat. Still. I looked awesome.

Oh, Periods 3 and 4 saw Dani and I taking a round of the school, just looking into class windows and waving.

People jumped.

Carmaine took photos for us at lunchtime. Haven’t camwhored like that in a while.

Had to eventually take the gear off. Too hot and public transport…

It was a good day. Pity Catherine and Bee weren’t there.

Oh and when Dani and I walked past Eunice’s Chem class, she (Eunice) did the Ninja chop. In class. While her teacher was in there.

Alex.

P.S. This Year 10 thing is getting out of hand. What a time waster. I am said my 10 cents, I am moving on. If I get into trouble for this, then I’m sure the entire Yr 12 body will back me up. That is all.

What is it good for?

Knowing what it is doesn’t stop it from happening.

Knowing the pain will pass doesn’t stop it from hurting right now.

Knowing I have people there for me doesn’t magically make it disappear.

So what was all that good for?

Alex.

Jitterbug…jitterbug…

(Obviously, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham! Am I going to copy Mai’s lyrical title thing? Probably not. But this once.)

Today I woke up my first sleeping train passenger!

We pulled up at Glen Waverley and I stood up, and he was totally still asleep.

So I was all like shaking him.

But he was all like still asleep.

So I totally was all like shaking him harder.

And he totally opened his eyes.

And I was all like, “we’re here!”

And he was all like, “Thanks.”

It was awesome.

Alex.

Fail Moment Written Down

I forgot to mention this on Friday, and only remembered it now as I am doing last minute Eng Lang homework.

We were going through some answers for a past trial exam, and there was this text about the narrator’s childhood in the Darling Downs, in Queensland.

So, Miss M asks Lisa, “Why do you think the examiners chose this text?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh come on, it’s really easy; you don’t even have to think about it.”

“Because it’s written down?”

“…Okay you have to think about it a little bit.”

Fail.

Alex.