Your Hair On My Pillow, Your Smell On My Sheets

[Heels Over Head – Boys Like Girls]

Sometimes I have these little daydreams which are – as you’ll see – incredibly self-centered. Now, this particular story-line follows Samantha Who? a little bit. Hey, originality is hard to find these days.

I would wonder, if I was in an accident where I hit my head pretty damn hard, and sustained head trauma just enough to get amnesia, but not enough to, you know, lose my sexy head of hair, then what would happen when I wake up?

First of all, I’d consider who’d be at my bedside, whose face would be the first blur upon my memory. Now, keep in mind, I have retained all my life-long knowledge i.e. what little maths skills I have, what the capital of China is etc, but I simply lost all memory of people, and any activities I did with them.

Right, so obviously the person by my bedside would be my first source of “where am I, who are you, who am I?” I’ll probably get told that I was in an accident, lost all my memories, and the person by my bedside is either a parent, or a close friend.

But the fun part is, “who am I?” I’ll get my name, my age, and from there a few more answers will provide me with where I live, what I am doing currently (university student, at which point I will remember that I go to Melbourne University, and knowledge of the media I learned).

But who am I? More visitors will come into my room – I hope. Face after strange face. Hi, I went to high-school with you. Hi, we hang out at uni. Names will blur. Each of them will tell me a bit more of who I am, through the memories I’ve shared with them. Remember, we used to go to the State Library to study, but instead we played games in the Games Room; you call me Douche all the time! You have to remember me, come on, I was one of the last people you were with before the accident, you call me Manwhore, remember? Okay, you might not remember who I am but…do you remember what Gooka stands for? Look at my eyes, look at my small tiny eyes! Listen to how I say ‘three’ funny!

And maybe I’ll start remembering things, small snatches of people and events. Maybe, maybe I’ll read through this blog. I’ll browse through all those other pages of my life.

But then the clincher: Will I like me? I already said once that I don’t like Scrubs because the humor is too close to my own sense of humor, and for some reason it repelled me. Basically, if I met me, I’d hate me.

Think about it, would you like you? Would you like you for who you are now? If not, why not? I’m not saying “change who you are to be a good person” I’m just saying “take a look” and see.

Alex.

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I’ve never tried this before!

I don’t know if this’ll work, but I’m doing this via email on my Blackberry. Apparently if I email this account I post a blog-post to my WordPress. If you are reading this – it worked! No idea how to tag or categorize so for the moment it won’t be.

I just thought of a whole bunch of topics to write about! Will blog more now. Kinda happy I’m reigniting this – and again, it was thanks to a friend, not my own initiative. Eh.

Awesome possums, let’s press send!

Alex.

Right Beneath Your Skin

[Papercut – Linkin Park]

I feel like ranting again, even though I just did on my Tumblr.

Now, I’m not saying that I get these here on WordPress, but I did notice a few on my Tumblr; hate mail.

I’m not a hater of hate mail – I dish them out myself sometimes too. But I justify myself. I’d rather call what I write “justified scoldings”.

For example, a new friend of mine wrote on his blog recently about how some abusive minors should be allowed to be struck when they are attacking, say, teachers. Now, that’s a brave and controversial stand to take, and if you truly look at the situation, it isn’t without grounds. We are so caught up all the time protecting minors, we don’t see that there are minors who are intensely abusive – especially when we get to the age bracket where, physically, they are strong enough to take on adults, but lawfully they are still minors.

Nonetheless, I retaliated, writing that there is no way that we can ever have a law that allows the hitting of minors. Because it will be exploited. In the end, hitting a child marks them so much more – when my parents used to smack me as a child, that’s what I remember. When I went to Thailand for the first time in Kindergarten, I don’t remember much of the trip at all – except once I misbehaved and my mom smacked me.

But then I get hate-mail that goes: “Wow, you’re such an attention seeker” and “You can be a really cold back-stabber”, and then they leave themselves as Anonymous.

My friend was just saying that I could very well just ignore those posts – and I could have. But I thought, why should I ignore them? If I am online, then yes I am seeking attention, otherwise why bother? Things get online to be noticed, and to be consumed, and I want what I write to be noticed, and consumed. If I want to write something for myself, I write something for myself privately, so I replied, “I’m sorry if I’ve angered you, but if you don’t like me posting “ask me something” on my own account, then just ignore it.” To the other one, I posted a reply as well: “That’s good to know, Anonymous. Since I obviously know you to have ‘back-stabbed’ you, then you probably know that ‘emotionally sensitive’ isn’t the best word, and that I can indeed be very cold, but not for no reason.”

Maybe I will start simply ignoring these hate-mails, even though posting them makes the sender look more like an ass.

I just checked my Tumblr messages, and I got two friends telling me that they like me no matter what and that I’m awesome. So yeah, pretty stoked about that!

My ultimate point is this: you can send your problem with me, to me, if you want – I enabled anonymous questions for a reason. But if you are going to be disrespectful towards me and try to put me down, you’ve got another thing coming. If you rationally retaliate, as I have had a commenter did on something I wrote about Daniel Radcliffe once, then I will answer you properly – and if I am wrong, I will apologize. But straight up telling me that I’m a no-good weirdo will probably not get you very far.

Man, writing that OpEd on cyber-bullying really has got me pumped up about this!

So, I SEEK YOUR ATTENTION in this matter, and if you have something to say, the comment box is just down there.

Alex.