Your Hair On My Pillow, Your Smell On My Sheets

[Heels Over Head – Boys Like Girls]

Sometimes I have these little daydreams which are – as you’ll see – incredibly self-centered. Now, this particular story-line follows Samantha Who? a little bit. Hey, originality is hard to find these days.

I would wonder, if I was in an accident where I hit my head pretty damn hard, and sustained head trauma just enough to get amnesia, but not enough to, you know, lose my sexy head of hair, then what would happen when I wake up?

First of all, I’d consider who’d be at my bedside, whose face would be the first blur upon my memory. Now, keep in mind, I have retained all my life-long knowledge i.e. what little maths skills I have, what the capital of China is etc, but I simply lost all memory of people, and any activities I did with them.

Right, so obviously the person by my bedside would be my first source of “where am I, who are you, who am I?” I’ll probably get told that I was in an accident, lost all my memories, and the person by my bedside is either a parent, or a close friend.

But the fun part is, “who am I?” I’ll get my name, my age, and from there a few more answers will provide me with where I live, what I am doing currently (university student, at which point I will remember that I go to Melbourne University, and knowledge of the media I learned).

But who am I? More visitors will come into my room – I hope. Face after strange face. Hi, I went to high-school with you. Hi, we hang out at uni. Names will blur. Each of them will tell me a bit more of who I am, through the memories I’ve shared with them. Remember, we used to go to the State Library to study, but instead we played games in the Games Room; you call me Douche all the time! You have to remember me, come on, I was one of the last people you were with before the accident, you call me Manwhore, remember? Okay, you might not remember who I am but…do you remember what Gooka stands for? Look at my eyes, look at my small tiny eyes! Listen to how I say ‘three’ funny!

And maybe I’ll start remembering things, small snatches of people and events. Maybe, maybe I’ll read through this blog. I’ll browse through all those other pages of my life.

But then the clincher: Will I like me? I already said once that I don’t like Scrubs because the humor is too close to my own sense of humor, and for some reason it repelled me. Basically, if I met me, I’d hate me.

Think about it, would you like you? Would you like you for who you are now? If not, why not? I’m not saying “change who you are to be a good person” I’m just saying “take a look” and see.

Alex.

7 thoughts on “Your Hair On My Pillow, Your Smell On My Sheets

  1. Hm. i think i would like me.

    but i’d probably go wtf at how much i expose of myself to the rest of the blogging/cyber world.

    You mean the stuff you blog about? I don’t think it’s that personal. I mean you really could be worse and blog about, say, personal diseases etc…

  2. Ahahahahahahh I’ve had this day dream for a half a decade now.
    I used to like the concept of starting fresh, but… seeing all those photos I have of my friends, I’d miss that. It’d be hard to go back to that.

    That’s the beauty of the day-dream – you can always give yourself back those memories via some miraculous and heart-warming scene. Starting fresh, or you know, stepping out of your life, take a good look, then go back in, that’s a pretty cool opportunity, right?

  3. I think you would like yourself. I mean, it’s not as if it’s you as you are now meeting yourself; after you’ve knocked your head, you’re no longer you. This ‘new you’ then has to form an opinion of the ‘old you’ based entirely on the memories of others; memories that, judging by the quality and quantity of good friends you do have (a testament to your character, no doubt), the ‘new you’ would be suitably impressed with the actions of the ‘old you’.

    But what if the ‘new me’ (I hesitate to say ‘new’ because it’s the same, just at different stages of memory) hears of all the things the ‘old me’ did and thought “oh God, what kind of person does this?”

  4. I think about this all the time, but less so in terms of ‘meeting myself’ and rather ‘who would be there?’. And I’ve never been able to answer that question. I also don’t have the subjectivity at the moment to be able to tell you that I would/wouldn’t like myself, to be honest. One thing I do know, though, is that if YOU ever lost your memory, I’d hope you’d not lose your sense of humour because that forms a huge part of your personality. And we all love you for it 😉

    Aw thanks love! I don’t think I can lose my sense of humor because, like you said, it forms part of my personality, and my personality will be there, I just won’t have the memories for the stories. Yeah, I would have divulged into who would be there, but I suppose, apart from the person with you when you were in the accident and your parents, the rest would be interesting right (although, at the moment of waking up, you won’t know the importance).

  5. CupcakesOnFire :
    Ahahahahahahh I’ve had this day dream for a half a decade now.
    I used to like the concept of starting fresh, but… seeing all those photos I have of my friends, I’d miss that. It’d be hard to go back to that.

    That’s the beauty of the day-dream – you can always give yourself back those memories via some miraculous and heart-warming scene. Starting fresh, or you know, stepping out of your life, take a good look, then go back in, that’s a pretty cool opportunity, right?

    And what if you couldn’t.

    What if you couldn’t daydream your way out of your own daydream?

  6. Hey thats me! 🙂

    Yeah I thought I’d mention you, seeing as you would most likely be by my bed when I wake up.

  7. deep thoughts there! I guess whether we would like ourselves depends on how much we understand ourselves. A lot of people don’t know who they are and aren’t aware of the deeper parts of themselves so how could they answer if they liked something that they did not fully know or understand?

    Personally, I would feel comfortable with meeting myself.. having been doing a lot of soul-searching recently I’ve accepted the good and bad parts that make me, me.

    It really is the same with other people though, with your friends and family. Living with people and loving them is seeing the good and the bad, accepting both and loving them anyway. Sometimes personality clashes are too strong for people to get along and in those cases you’ve just got to try and see the best of the other person whenever you meet.

    am getting off topic here – learning about and understanding people is my life’s passion so am bound to ramble haha

    Can I just note that the quality of your writing has really improved? It is really good writing 🙂

    Haha thanks. I try to channel you when I get deep and meaningful. I won’t comment on what you commented because I’d already heard that before but it’s there for everyone else to read.

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