Retrace Every Wrong Move

[Easier To Run – Linkin Park]

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Dear Zhao Hui,

Isn’t it amazing I still remember your name! I even remember the fact that “Zhao” is actually written as “Chao” but is read as “Zhao” in your name and, oh, I’ve just proven how Asian I am.

Anyway, whether it’s from my childish wishful thinking or real memories, I remember that we were good friends when we were little. And when I say little, I meant we were good friends since Kindergarten. I didn’t actually have friends my age before Kindy, so in some sense you were my first friend ever (actually, to be honest, I vaguely remember there being another short girl being my friend before you but I don’t remember anything about her except that she’s short).

It’s strange writing to someone in a language that they don’t speak, in a letter they’ll never read.

I think when I was little, I worshiped you, because you were taller, smarter, and prettier. I think you’re also older than me – here in Australia I’m older among all my friends but in China I was the youngest, having just gotten into my year level. I remember that you actually had another friend with whom you were closer, either because you’re just better friends or because you’d known her for longer, that I can’t remember. That other friend went on to be the class captain in Grade 1, while I went on to be the kid that the teacher hated for no good reason other than the fact that I was smarter than she gave me credit for, and that I was lazy. So yeah, that made me look better.

My memories are only giving me negative thoughts at the moment, like I remember trying so hard to be your friend after we started primary school, but you’d already found the other cool big girls to play with and I was left with this really creepy guy who drooled a lot, and this other weird guy who bragged a lot about himself. I remember that once I was running back to class while grabbing the hand of that class captain I mentioned, but then I tripped and fell flat on my face, getting a huge cut on my nose.

I remember, near the end of my stay in China – I left in Grade 2 – that you’d once accidentally cut your eyebrow on a hair pin, and it bled a lot. And then after that you were trying to hide that cut, so you grew your hair long.

Actually, I think that part was just false memory. I think that happened to my cousin instead. I have no idea.

Anyway, that was a fun trip down memory lane.  I called you once in Yr 7 when I went back to China but we didn’t hit it off because of the language barrier – my Chinese was sucking at that point. But I don’t know, maybe I’ll try calling again the next time I go to China, granted you still live at home.

Take care,

徐如一

Fussin’ And Fightin’

[Ice Box – There For Tomorrow, original by Omarion]

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Dear Cathy,

It was a toss-up between Dani and you for the previous letter. I’m kind of feeling guilty that you got this one, but just pretend that it’s the previous one as well.

You read most of what I feel in the plane letter I gave you – you remember, the one that made you cry – and since they were pretty private, I won’t say it here again. But I think you’re actually better off in QLD, seeing as what is happening currently in your life. Imagine having to go through that with THEM still in the same State as you! At least now you’re one step closer to getting out forever, am I right?

I still miss you like a cat on heat (wtf) but I know that ultimately we’ll still be friends, but you need to get out seriously.

I love you, Bobiboop.

Alex.