The Difference…

When people say “I don’t care what other people think about me”, there is a fundamental difference to what they mean and what it actually means.

What they mean is that when they do things, they have some concern about how other people might see them; they see how they might be negatively seen, and then decide that doesn’t matter, or they decide that they shouldn’t care if it matters or not. Then their actions follow accordingly.

I’m not saying that this way of thinking is “wrong” and not the “real” I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-other-people. I’m saying this is probably the most common meaning people have when they say “I don’t care what other people think about me”.

The ACTUAL – or perhaps I should say the OTHER – meaning is when the person doesn’t even think about how it might be negatively viewed. Not only do they not tell themselves not to care about how they might negatively viewed, they didn’t even think that they would be negatively viewed.

I bring this up because – and I’m not saying I think the “better” way, because I mostly think in the first way, if not be wary of how people judge me completely – it occurred to me today that the title for my post yesterday could be misunderstood as something else. I didn’t even think about it that way: the title was a quote from the movie I’d seen. The fact that my mind didn’t even think of the consequences means that on a core level, I really don’t care.

Anyhoo, just some thoughts.