[Screaming Infidelities – Dashboard Confessionals]
Day 04: Write about someone you love.
I’m doing pretty badly at this daily deal ha.
I find, though, for these kind of topics, unless you’re dating someone, or you have a best friend who everyone knows you’re best friends with, if you commit to writing about someone, you’re committing yourself to them.
Or maybe I have commitment issues I never realized or thought I would have.
For example, just a few days ago Jen was talking to me about possibly moving in together as room-mates in the soon-but-yet-unseen future, and weirdly enough I actually started freaking out just at her words – we could figure out who does the cooking, and we could take turns doing the icky jobs – and I was surprised I was genuinely freaked out.
It’s not that I dislike being around Jen – far from it, I don’t think we’ve ever had a boring time when we hung out – or that I think she’d judge me (much) when she sees what a slob I am – mostly because I’m slobby in public – but it’s more just living – LIVING – with someone else who hasn’t been part of my conscious day-to-day life since I was born (I am generalizing, because for me, my parents aren’t actually the ones who I consciously remember growing up with, but I did start living with them a good decade ago so the weight of the memories are enough) actually freaked me out. It wasn’t the thought of all the responsibilities I’d have, because I’m sure as much as I’d fail at it at the beginning, I’d soon pick up the rhythm and take care of myself, but it was just…SEEING Jen ALL the TIME.
There is no nice way of saying this.
But, back on track. Writing about a specific someone not only elevates them to a status of “First Who Came To Alex’s Mind”, but also “Now Expected To Always Come First To Alex’s Mind”, because why else would I mention them? I have a stockpile of who I can write about: Jen, obviously; Annie who I see all the time and who has been there during all the bad times; Dani, because Dani; Clare, because she gives great hugs; Bianca, for making me see the world differently; I could pick people who I don’t talk to all the time, whose support I sometimes let melt into the background, such as Katherine, who put up with a LOT of weird stuff from me; Catherine (yes…) who talks to me like we’ve never had any time apart even though we rarely do talk anymore; Julia, because haha I won’t revisit the random historical crap there but kudos to her; Steven who as a guy, manages to put up with all my weird ass mood swings, and over MSN too; Dom and Andrew who, at the same time but through different means, were probably my first proper guy friends in the era I call After Annoying-Adolescence.
But are any of them deserving of the ONE SINGLE mention? What qualifies them above the others?
Maybe I’ll revisit this question when I’ve gotten a significant other, and I can shamelessly put them above the others because it’s okay, no hard feelings, and no cold feet freak outs.
YOU CUT ME DEEP ALEX
YOU CUT ME DEEP