Give me scars, give me pain, and then say to me…

[Fighter – Gym Class Heroes ft. Ryan Tedder]

I grew up with my paternal grandparents from two until eight, because my parents were off studying in Thailand so that they could get a visa to study and work in Australia. I never really got to see them often. The times that I remember were either for end-of-year holidays if they had time, when they took me to Thailand with them for a few months when I was in kindergarten, and when my mom’s mom died.

I remember once, when my mom was taking me out, I was wearing mittens. I didn’t get to hang out with my own mother often, so I was seizing the opportunity – and reveling in this new concept of a mother-daughter bond. I would hold up one finger inside the mitten, and she had to guess which finger it was. She always got it right, but I don’t know how she did it (to this day). She told me that because she was my mother, she had to know such things; mothers can read their daughters’ minds.

Sometimes I think about when I stopped believing in that concept. Sometimes I wonder where the turning point was, that my mother went from being able to guess what her daughter had under a mitten, to not being able to be told who she has under her blanket. If my mother could read my mind, she would know how much I’d want her to know, and not only that, but to accept and be happy for it.