The Way You Move Ain’t Fair

[Hey Soul Sister – Train]

Happy birthday Jac!

Today (but because of one reason or another, WordPress has time-stamped this for Wednesday. Today I meant by Tuesday) was Jac’s long awaited 18th birthday, and I think it was rather a successful day.

Starting with the awful weather, it went uphill from there. Took the train up with Mandy and Dot cos we ran into them, then Jac and I went to Journal Cafe near City Library.

Jac got this creepy text message asking if she was at Flinders, and it was from an unknown number. That number never texted back again…

Had lunch (or rather, I ended up eating most of her food anyway) and then we went to Melbourne Central because we wanted to see Toy Story 3.

But, it was getting really full, to the point where the only seats left were in the front. Jac doesn’t like that, so instead we went to State Library and went to the Games Room.

UNFORTUNATELY, it was full due to school holidays, so after some random presentation started, Jac and I went to play pool at RMIT. At first we didn’t realize that if you paid the money, the white ball would roll out, so we sat there dejected until someone else came along and did it.

It was a tight game, and ended with Jac’s victory, because I’d mistakenly stuffed and set up the black ball for her. Oh well, it’s her birthday anyway.

After that, we went BACK to State and watched some guys play on the Guitar Hero for a while, then decided to walk to Crown for dinner. That girl walks so slow that it got to the point where she had to drag me to slow me down – and it was VERY slow walking.

The thing that she didn’t know, and the reason I’d wanted to walk fast was that we were meant to get to Oriental Express by 6, where the others were waiting to surprise her. Because of her slow walking and my inability to find the restaurant, we ended up being 20 minutes late.

The fun part was that she didn’t suspect a thing! I was glad that my subtleties seem to have worked.

Dinner was sushi train, and it went by without a problem, and then it was time for cake. Now, I’d asked Nash to get a Black Forest Cake but apparently there were none left, so, being the awesome boy he is, he got a cake in the shape of a dog:

It was particularly funny because I’d always called her my puppy. And the restaurant people sang and everything, it was excellent.

And it was proven that we argue a lot when, on the train back, Yeleng and Aym- both decided we were the on-board entertainment.

I love you, Jac!

Alex.

P.S. The guy in the soccer ball is still in there.

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The Savior Of The Broken

[Welcome To The Black Parade – My Chemical Romance]

This post was written by Alex but posted by her lovely “master”, Jenny.

Yesterday was Jenny’s 18th birthday, and she had a BBQ at Jells Park. At least, she thought that was all there was.

I got up really early and went with my parents to Springvale so they would be able to drop me off at Glen on time. Had some weird but enlightening conversation with my mom regarding problems in her side of the family.

Got to the Glen at past 9:30 (after Jenny had called me almost 3 times demanding to know where I was) and met up with her at Safeway. We went around shopping, and then drove up to Jells.

It was warm but windy, and still getting better from feeling slightly coughy, I wasd worried. But then people started arriving, and I forgot about it. We started blowing up balloons (“ballons”, as Jenny’s shopping list read) and strung them up like a free-flying kite. It actually looked pretty nice. Met Alex C (I’ll call him AC in this post) and Hele-.

So when more guys came we started cooking. Steph played her awful K-Pop music.

Steph really wanted to go to the playground. She actually whinged about it. So we (Sam, Hele-, Steph, Ven- I think and myself) went to the swings. Then we went back, and by the time we’d gotten back most of the good meat were eaten.

We all sat down and had lunch. Hele- drowned my food in tomato sauce, making my lunch look like road kill. So I tried to kill hers in BBQ sauce. I remarked that my lunch looked like it was bleeding; she retorted that her lunch looked like it was taking a dump.

After lunch, and after taking about 2 hours to buy some drinks and change pants, Lois and AC arrived with a whole box of Cruisers. Thus the drinking started.

Jenny had maybe a total of 3/4 of a bottle before she felt ill. So ill that…well you can imagine. We figured, since she’d downed vodka shots before, maybe it was something in the Cruiser that didn’t agree with her. The best moment in what was a pretty awful moment was Nashi running up to Jenny with a bag and, standing like he was about to haul ass and run, thrusted the bag at her.

Pom was left to carry the (leaking) bad dripping with the stuffs to the bathroom. That was sorta funny too.

Anyway, sat with Jenny while she was trying to feel better, and watched Pom fail at frisbee with the boys.

After Jenny felt good enough to stop staring at a wall, we joined the others playing Blackjack: loser has to do a dare nominated. I sided with Jenny seeing as I forgot mostly how to play Blackjack, and so when we busted to 25, as the birthday girl, Jenny had to do the dare.

I think I won’t re-mention what she had to do. Because not mentioning it makes the dare sound even more…dare I say…Juizy?

Then came cake cutting time! Pom stayed up late and made the most beautiful pink cake. Then after that people had to start leaving. Some for the day…some…for what we made Jenny think was the day.

When everyone had more or less left, I was left with Jenny, waiting for her dad to arrive to “drop me off at the Glen”. Well, what was REALLY happening was that Lois had organized a surprise dinner for Jenny at the Sichuan Hotpot!

Apparently, though, the special girl knew about it (or rather knew there was something going on) because when I’d called her parents the previous night (and explained the situation in my crappy Chinese) she’d sussed already. Still. She looked reasonably pleased.

We ordered way too much food (and Pom spilled AC’s Smirnoff Ice that we snuck in) and so we sat there for over 2 hours eating our way through nearly 15 plates of food. Near the end, we smelled burning in the hotpot, and told the waitress whom we’d already pissed off (and who Kevin tried to boil) that we burned the hotpot.

3 minutes later, Andrew started scooping in the murky water, and lo and behold scooped out a metal ladle that had been sitting in there for maybe 20 good minutes. Burning? Try boiled metal.

I hope we didn’t get food/metal poisoning.

I got home ready to burst and collapse at the same time. But I was happy that (despite minor setbacks and regurgitations) Jenny seemed to have enjoyed herself very much.

Happy Birthday Love!

Alex.

Happy Birthday Carmaine, AGAIN!

Holy crap, a year passes really quickly. Your previous birthday still feels like it was last month. Except it’s weird how a whole year of Yr 12 passed and there were dramas and break downs and all that crap and yet I came out the other end still feeling like your 17th was last month. Weird, right?

Well, this is my 2nd timed post. I won’t be home to post this, which actually saddened me but at the same time I think this way it is much cooler. I know you’ll definitely read this because I’m going to bloody tell you to.

Happy 18th birthday, love. Have a wonderful day (hopefully not working). Jen and I will be back to celebrate your birthday next week. For now, stay safe!

I love you,

Alex.

happybirthdaycarmaineOkay, I actually can’t see my eyes. I thought you’d like that [grins].

Mentally Retarded, Steroids, Arsonists…It’s A Good Family

Yesterday was Dani’s 18th birthday! I remember last year I think I told people to go to her blog to wish her a happy birthday. DO IT AGAIN! Even though you’re a day late.

So last night Andrew and Za- had planned a surprise celebration of sorts for Dani. They’d gone to the Wonderland Ice Skating rink.

Carmaine and I took the train to the city together, because we weren’t going to go ice-skating. Got to the Wonderland place (which is on HarbourTown)  at past seven, and watched April, Si, Za-, Andrew, Dani and Kud ice skate for a while. It was getting cold already! I wasn’t wearing enough (that is, I was wearing a shirt and shorts. It was pretty windy, alright?)

They finished ice skating at around half past seven, because D.P. was texting saying she was freezing her ass off outside the Medici the restaurant we were going to eat at. We walked down to the restaurant (Si said it was in one direction and everyone else walked in another. I said we should follow Si because “Simon says”), and felt really awesome walking in when everyone else waited for a table, because Za- and Andrew had already made a reservation.

Za- made a fail move when she sat down on the small individual tables instead of the large table for 11 people…I laughed.

Sat down, and ordered a few drinks and the food. At some point Dysh- and her boyfriend came along, and then Talinoob also came along. (Mel had left by this point, I forgot to mention.) Dani and I, for old times’ sake, did another sugar-shot. To Englang, we toasted, and downed that packet of coffee sugar.

So we started doing the whole joking around thing that Andrew loves so much. Last year for Dani’s birthday the theme and butt of all jokes were how small Carmaine’s eyes were. This year it was how mentally retarded I look/act, how Dani’s pretty much a crazed arsonist, and how Carmaine is probably on steroids, to explain why she’s so freaking tall when the rest of the “family” isn’t.

The “family”, by the way, is a Facebook joke where Andrew and Dani are the parents of Eunice, Bianca, Carmaine and myself. Eunice and Bianca had since took themselves off the family list (or never joined it) so just Carmaine and myself. D.P. is our Auntie. I am the effing son/brother. Since I’m the only one who bears some resemblance to Andrew (another long running joke) we figured that Carmaine had to be adopted. Still, Andrew realized the reason Carmaine doesn’t seem to fit into the family is because she’s on steroids. When Andrew first said, “Holy crap my family is fucked up. I got an arsonist for a wife, a mentally retarded son and a daughter who’s on steroids.” Carmaine laughed, and then asked, “Wait, who’s the one on steroids?”

Guess the steroids got to her brain?

I ordered a Midori drink thing, which Za- said she’d shout me. D.P. ended up taking it, so I ordered myself a Japanese Slipper which is Midori, cointreau and lemon juice. When that came, Carmaine took a sip and made a face because it was quite strong. I liked it. I made April promise to make me one some day because she knows how. She ordered a Sex On The Beach (I told her to text Vania about it).

Then Za-drank about half of it, all the time saying, “Oh man I get sick at the sight of liquer!” Weird girl.

So because Za- took my drink, she decided to shout me a Baileys (which Julia knows is my favorite).

We had heaps of sexual connotative jokes – look if we freaking ordered a Sex On The Beach and D.P. started getting a bit tipsy you know sexual jokes are gonna show up. In this case…actually I think, in the interest of not publicly shaming Carmaine, I won’t repeat what that 2 handed joke was.

Then Andrew started trying to finish all the food people didn’t finish, like the ravioli, risotto and the pasta Carmaine didn’t want (she ended up eating some of my gnocchi). He got really full and started acting really stoned, and then he had some of Dani’s Sex On The Beach (everyone had some Sex On The Beach with Dani, apparently. It was a good birthday for her) and went really red in the face.

We then started playing Chinese whispers. D.P. thought it would be oh-so-funny to start something along the lines of “Peter Pepper Poked A…” etc which I, as the 3rd last person, got as “Peter Poked Her Peter Poked Her”.

Left at around nine thirty, and took Talinoob and D.P. through Docklands to get them back to Flinders (I was worried because they were walking in slight zigzags and hooting like hyenas) but in the end we (Carmaine and myself) ditched them at a tram stop and walked to Southern Cross. Southern Cross didn’t run Glen Waverley so we took a train back to Flinders and then took a Glen Waverley. Gave Carmaine a ride home, and then contemplated blogging this before bed on the iTouch. Thought hell no, and fell asleep until about 8:30 or so this morning when I got woken up by my parents yelling at each other.

So, happy birthday Dani my darling dearest doodoo! Haha I said doodoo.

I love you!

Alex

Don-don-don-don’t hold back

Today was Vania’s 18th birthday, and we had her birthday party at April’s place.

Got there before anyone else did, win. Vania came later on, and got stuff set up. Brought a respektable amount of alcohol so that April can make sex on the beach.

I still snigger when I say that.

Got Singstar set up, and started warming up with a few songs. Bo came, then Bel and Julia, then Li-. We really got into the swing of things and then we played Pass The Mic and that was stupid hard.

April and I did battle on Grace Kelly by Mika. We actually did pretty well. It’s a good song.

Aristarchus, April’s cat, rubbed himself on everyone and everything that came along.

Mimay and Fah- came along much later, and then Lily left. We had ice cream cake, and then just before Vania cut the cake, we (or me) suggested that Vania do a shot before she cuts the cake. April got her a Vodka and Schnapps shot, and Soph yelled “Oh my god, give her a chaser, she’ll die.”

Then April made sex on the beach.

Snigger.

Sang a bit more, Julia and I owned on “Don’t Hold Back” by the Potbelleez (or however you spell their band name) and then started watching 10 Things I Hate About You.

Everyone pretty much left at that point, and then when Vania left, Julia, Bel and I decided to bid our farewells as well.

It was fun, because everytime someone left we sang happy birthday.

Julia sneezed a lot. Like. A lot. I think Bel counted to 12 (?) in a row.

Played Tap Tap Revenge on the train home. Need to download more songs.

Alex.

Can’t Fight The Moonlight

Alright, so last night was probably one of the craziest and most fun nights I’ve had in a long time.

Fel turns 18 in May, but in the interest of mid-years and whatnot, Fel had her party yesterday, a month early.

It was a pink-themed party, so Bianca promised to bring me a scarf. (I did end up taking it off 20 mins into the party but hey I wore it) They’d booked the entire cafe section of Romanza, and when I arrived Fel and Bee were stringing up balloons and all that decoration. Gis- came a few moments later. So we went around blowing up heaps and heaps of balloons.

Fel had invited maybe 60 people last night so soon it got really busy as her church friends started showing up. And we had a few MacRob people too – including the Jewish ones – and everything started mingling a bit (but not too much). I met a few of Fel’s church friends who were very cool and fun – especially the 2 in the hot pink stockings who I don’t think stopped dancing.

Speaking of not stopping to dance, Bianca in her shimmering dress ground and swayed her way through most of the night, along to bad music (TAYLOR SWIFT GOT PUT ON! WTF?!). Everyone were having a blast, just dancing and laughing at Bekchie and Sha- at Singstar, being total douches. Actually they screamed so loudly that some of Fel’s asian friends kind of started swarming AWAY from them.

Anyway, at some point during the night the “dancefloor” (we moved chairs and tables aside) when Low by Flo Rida came on, and they – most of the MacRob girls and some Church ones – started having this “mosh circle” but they weren’t moshing the whole time. And then when the lyrics came “shorty got low low low” they of course went as low as they could on their heels. I told Carmaine to try but well we figured no one would notice the difference even if she did get low. The lyrics ARE, after all, “SHORTY got low”.

I made good friends with a girl called Claire from PLC (I may have spelt her name wrong) and also I got to talk to Priscilla again (again, I might have spelt it wrong).  We watched the dancers a lot because joining them would be succumbing to the insanity.

Fel’s birthday cake was HUGE! 12 pounds, and 18 candles (I would assume). Took her…what, 5 blows to take them out, and that was after we all belted Happy Birthday at the top out lungs and made Fel make a speech (in which she was “speechless”).

Are You Gonna Be My Girl was probably the most awesome moment cos everyone was dancing and screaming to that one, even me! (Okay, maybe it was only awesome to me because I partook in it but hey hey hey I was having buckets of fun).

Everyone looked stunning yesterday too (except I have to mention Shaz saying “Oh I’m not too worried about being under dressed because I figure I’d be more formal than Ruyi anyway). Fel was in pink…well duh. But I can’t describe except it was hot pink as was Eunice, and they matched.

I ended up going home rather late, and parents weren’t happy. But no amount of yelling could get my spirits down! One of the best nights for a long long long time (have I said that before?). Now I’m glad I still have my voice, and my neck hurts but I cracked it so s’all good.

18’s are fun. I look forward to more.

Alex.