Don’t Listen To A Word I Say

[Little Talks – Of Monsters and Men]

This post is a few days late because of a sudden influx of LIFE that happened over the last few days. And by that, I mean Amelia’s and Melody‘s party. (By the way, Melody is kinda in a blog clique kind of thing, so my tacking on of her link is me trying to integrate myself.)

On Thursday, I went to Amelia’s house early to help her clean her house and set up for her party. She’d gotten her Ps just the day before, so I got picked up from my door and drive to her door, and let me say, having spent the past two years taking two different buses for an hour each time just to get to her house, I think I will enjoy this new freedom!

We washed up some dirty dishes and cleaned the kitchen, and then she vacuumed the house while Meg tried to fight off the noise monster. Then we had a bit of a rest, had Nandos for lunch (also, another perk of having her drive: instead of having to order expensive pizza in, or making instant noodles, we can now go out for lunch if we want) then a snooze. When it was nearly time, we went downstairs to blow up some balloons and that’s when people started arriving.

You may not be able to tell, but I’m not a fan of recounting in deep detail everything that happened, so here’s a quick run-down.

Most people were well over an hour late, and so when the pizza finally came, everyone was dead hungry, and demolished the first round. We had to go order more. The alcohol began to  flow as well, albeit in little amounts, because her parents are still home. Everyone was hanging out and listening to some guitar playing, and then for some reason some people wanted to watch UP, so we put that on as well.

It was nearing 11pm, and poor Meg had been up for hours and hours (with a tiny nap in the middle). We’d taken her for a big walkies in the afternoon so she’d empty her bowels outside and not be too excited when people come and pee on them. As a result, she was exhausted. When UP was finishing, her eyes were watering, and she was getting quite grumpy. Thankfully, there were three people at the party apart from Amelia and myself that Meg suddenly took a liking to, and those three people took turns hugging Meg until she became docile and just dozed off.

Anyway, that was Meg. I was worried she’d be badly behaved, but Amelia hugged her every now and then which made her happy, and mostly she was friendly to the twenty odd strangers in the house.

Serena made a caramel cheesecake, which she was paranoid over, because she felt like it wasn’t good/sweet/cold enough. Now, I’ve seen her make many cakes in the past, but I’ve never gotten to try a single bite. But, IT WAS AMAZING. I don’t even like cheesecake or caramel and I loved it. I hope she makes me more. Serena, are you reading still? Make me MORE!

Now, we talk about Cindy.

For those of you who aren’t in the know, Cindy is one of Amelia’s closest friends and, if I divide everything down to the most common denominator, probably the reason I got together with Amelia in the first place. The way that Cindy and I met isn’t exactly the best example of my ability to “stay cool”.

But that night, it was Cindy’s turn to not be cool! She accidentally forgot she didn’t eat much (accidentally), and did a few shorts in quick succession. As a result, she became extremely friendly with everyone, and ample hugs were abound. Then, the high wore off, and the head-stuck-in-the-toilet era rolled in. By the end of the night…at around 2:30 am, we had the last stragglers of the party (namely Amelia, myself and three others who were staying over, Nico – Cind’s boyfriend and who now on I will call Naochi because that’s what I call him – and Ash, who was getting a ride from Nico) holding plastic bags up to her face, telling her to just throw up to feel better (horrible phrase to take out of context, I know). In all, it was an amusing but tiring way to finish off what was otherwise a really amazing party.

I had to bring that up, sorry, because it was a fond memory that I’m sure I’ll appreciate to read about a few years later.

I went home early Friday morning because Amelia had work first thing. I had my day of rest, and then another half day of rest on Saturday, before Amelia picked me up for Melody’s. She held it at Ondergrounds on Russell St, which was a pretty cool venue, but because I had to leave really early due to work Sunday, I only really stayed for a few shots and left. But, from what I saw, everyone was in for a crazy night (and I’m pretty sure Melody will supplement and blog more about it on her fancy dotcom page, so do check it out! LIKE SHE NEEDS PLUGGING), and I was sorry I missed it.

And, to finally catch up, I worked all Sunday and all today.

PS Here’s Meg

She’s having a nap while hugging her decimated Pikachu toy. It no longer has a face, but boy is it her favorite.

 

 

The Life and Laughs: Revenge of the Laugh

Oh, subscribers, are you still there? Are you surprised to see me again?

As of this moment, I have finished all the assessment tasks for my university degree. There is the small matter of handing it in and, oh, passing, but I have confidence that I will receive a high enough score to get me the certificate.

So, where I left you last.

I was about to start my two-week internship, which turned out really interesting. I found out lots about myself in those two weeks – how quickly I can really write, how to self-edit, how to take criticism (although, the sub-editor who sat me down and went through my work was very nice about correcting my mistakes, much nicer than my actual class teacher), how to make phone-interviews.

I also learned how much I hate journalism. Well, not all aspects of journalism – but I wasn’t a fan of slow moving, methodical get-the-interview-and-write-it journalism. I’m not knocking it, I just guess it wasn’t for me!

I also did some tough interviews for a writing class, since the assessments needed us to go interview complete strangers. I interviewed two research professors, and a few of my friends. For one article, I chose to interview April and Bianca about their personal lives. They were toughies, I had to fight to keep tears back with Bianca.

Overall, I did pretty well in Semester 1. Of course, I knew Semester 2 was going to be a bitch and half. But before that…

I went on the SAMA camp. SAMA is the Monash Anime club, which Mela is a part of. It was in the middle of July, so it was cold and wet – and the place we went to seemed to be creating mud out of every crevice. As the club is a nerdy one, most nights were spent playing Mahjong, watching anime or horror movies. The last night, however, saw everyone wanting to get rid of all the alcohol that was brought. Much drunkeness and throwing-upness occurred. Cindy drank til she was a bit beyond tipsy (we thought she was outright drunk, but a few weeks later we saw a video of her being actually drunk and talking in an infectious British accent). And my girl? Well, she went much beyond drunk – bashed through hilarious drunk by hugging everyone and telling them she loves them, and then crashed into bad drunk and threw up what smelled like pure alcohol. The next day, suffice to say, she suffered.

There was also the SAMA Social Night, which happened in August. I was forced to go, and went through a horrible process of trying to find clothing for the formal event. In the end, I put together some dodgy looking pieces, fixed with the bowtie that Amelia gave me for my birthday (oh, did I mention? I turned 21! I got loads of presents, but Amelia’s was the best: the bowtie, a great scarf, and a crap-load of Nerds lollies). I ended up winning best-dressed male. Clare, who went, could not stop smiling at me when I was up on stage. If I could have melted with embarrassment, I would have.

Semester 2 was tougher. I had 3 subjects again, but all requiring research, and none were creative. One was a whipping 8000 word mini-thesis. Amusingly, the other two subjects overlapped each other almost completely in content, simply from different ends. And so the first six weeks saw me learn a whole load of new information, and the last six saw me revise it in the other class.

Annie and I worked very hard, for once…and the last time. We holed ourselves up in the library every day we were in (which was, granted, around twice a week), for a whole month, and worked our asses off while we were at home. We did up to 20,000 words of research for a 2,500 essay, and sure we laughed about it later, but at that time, it was horrible. I once wrote so hard that my arms cramped, something I haven’t really encountered since VCE exams.

I also got a new laptop! A Samsung Series 9, which is as light as an eyelash and about as thick. It’s a beautiful machine, and I want so much to keep it beautiful I haven’t taken off the plastic cover on the front and on the wrist-rest.

Amelia bought me tickets for and attended with me Maroon 5. It was a shocking concert – although there wasn’t a mosh, and we sat further back than we thought we would, they made up for it with their relentless energy. I did not stop dancing the whole time they were on stage, and neither did they! Jen and I shouted ourselves hoarse (we both wanted to go, and dragged our other halves with us).

Amelia turned 20, and I took her to the Conservatory at Crown. It was a bad start, because I got lost and was late to the restaurant, but Amelia ate a massive fill from the buffet, and I gorged myself on the chocolate fountain. The food was very good (considering how much it costs), but the thing that got me the most was the service. First-class waiters and waitresses were patient as hell, despite covering about two dozen people each.

We also celebrated our 1 year anniversary (yes, it HAS been that long!) but, unfortunately, on the day I had classes I had to attend. We delegated the celebrating to her birthday, since they’re both very close to each other. Amelia also held another birthday dinner at Paesano’s at Knox O-Zone, and so many people showed up that we had to get two massive tables and squeeze together.

Meg, Amelia’s dog, has gotten extremely cute – and much bigger! Although she is still quite small, she no longer fits just on one arm, and I need to carry her with both. She’s not gotten much smarter, but she’s very loyal, and the other week when I visited her after a long break, she was so excited, she peed! I love Meg very much, and I can’t stop talking about her when I’m with other people. I think it annoys them but if they were loved by Meg, they’d do the same.

And now, I’ve finished all the assessments for my university schooling. I’m not going back to class next year, nor have I a job lined up. I was hoping to take a year off and see what my options are. Perhaps I can pay Amelia more attention too, as I have neglected her a lot this past few months.

I’m about to go to China for a two week holiday, by myself. I’m utterly terrified, because I’m about as good a flyer as a rock, and I’ve never had to go by myself before. But, hey, I’m 21 now, I should learn how to hack it.

It also means that, despite this lengthy and vigorous attempt to revive this blog, I will not be blogging for the next 2-3 weeks, because WordPress is blocked in China. But I will strive to come back.

So, Revenge of the Laugh! The Life Returns. Etc.

Alex.

/edit: Also, Brendan happened. He had to carry my drunk girlfriend since I couldn’t, and she kept on thinking she was flying, causing him to nearly drop her a lot. (This was at SAMA camp by the way.) Also a bunch of other stuff including him took place, like um. I don’t know. Also he got a new girlfriend.

Then it said ‘mew’

On Friday night was Dani’s birthday dinner. On the train ride there, Mela pointed out that in my previous post, I’d gotten the sequence of events wrong, and Monday actually happened on Tuesday and vice versa.

We arrived at Melb Central late, and were worried that we’d held everyone up, but it turned out that everyone else were just really, really late, and we decided on having some hotpot for dinner, picked up Soph, and went to Little Lamb on Russell St.

Carmaine and her boyfriend dropped by for a few minutes but declined to dine with us, saying they were too poor. So, instead, Dani, Mela, Soph and I pigged out on the hotpot, aiming to eat more than the 25 dollar flat rate we paid, and we all chatted. April came along a bit of the way through and, despite not eating, stayed to talk. Mela and I realized that we were sitting on one side of the table while eating, and the other side of the table sat the three halfies, all of them good looking and none of them eating.

Saturday was Brendan’s party. Cindy and I went to Stud Park to shop for jello-shot ingredients with Mela, and then we went to Sam’s Warehouse to get shot glasses. It was cold and raining, and my hunger drove my caring girlfriend to begrudgingly buy me a sausage with bread.

We went to her house, and the other two made jello-shots while I went on Tumblr. Cindy accidentally spilled one shot while we were arranging them on this ceramic tray, and so not to waste, the three of us took turns slurping up the semi solid goo with a straw. Ah the dignity that we forfeited.

After that, we went to Brendan’s house early, having nothing to do at Mela’s (they watched Whip It for a while but I complained). We met the kitty ‘Doc’, and we played with the kitten for an hour or two until more people arrived. Brendan got this weird blowup guitar as a present, and the jokes of him blowing up something large and pink were numerous.

Now, this party was the one where I was meant to drink, but something went odd with my tolerance, and I ended up on that platform of one-shot-too-many, and my darling was put to the test by having to take care of me while I threw up for about an hour. But, hey, before that the party was great! Apparently I danced, we ate pizza and chips, played with the kitten some more when someone brought him back downstairs. Arthur and Valia (newly coupled and all that) were being super cute and made fairy bread. We sang along to karaoke.

In the end, Mela’s older brother drove us home. Having work the next day, I did my best to hydrate and sleep, and then went to visit Mela after she finished her shift the next day before Jen (from that other time with the surprise visiting at work and all that) who was going to have lunch with Mela drove me to work.

I always like Brendan’s parties. I will aim to like all of it without throwing up of course. I missed out on Truth or Dare too!

Alex.

Who takes a train at 11:54 at night to Seymour?

Yesterday I went to see The Wombats at Festival Hall with Mela. I don’t actually like them that much, but they are close to Mela’s favorite band, and what with it being our 1 month, and her coming to Anberlin with me at the start, I felt it would be simply wrong to not go with her. Besides, the smile on her face when she heard I would go with her was worth everything.

We went to her friend Rebecca’s house, where we would be spending the night, to drop off our bags. They live right near MacRob, I am BLOODY JEALOUS OF HOW CLOSE THEY LIVE! So then, Rebecca, her friend Phoebe, Mela and I went into the city to eat Maccas (I had Maccas earlier that day so I felt all fat and stuff but hey) for dinner before heading to Festival Hall.

Everyone lining up were sort of the hipster wannabe tweens, something I was expecting. We went to our seats in the balcony, and I started buying a few drinks so I wouldn’t be bored for the evening. The drinks were pretty expensive, but I felt generous. Mela and I each had one bourbon and coke, then I discovered and started on the Smirnoff Limes.

The bands that played were pretty decent live, I do admit, they could carry their energy well – especially Owl Eyes, considering she’s only well known in certain Australian circles. Faker were pretty good but I never liked his voice.

The mosh was huge – and quite fluid. So when The Wombats came on, I was quite glad we didn’t get standing tickets. Mela was beside herself in excitement, and danced along to all the songs – and knowing all the lyrics. It was quite heartwarming to see her so consumed and happy.

By the end of the night, I was a spot beyond tipsy. Rebecca and Phoebe put up with me quite well – but they had nothing on Mela whose love for me was really put to the test when I continuously complained and hated on everything. At some point, at Southern Cross, I yelled at the announcement claiming that the 11:54 train to Seymour was departing, because who the hell takes it that late?

We went back to the house and went to sleep pretty much immediately. Mela snored a little, which was very cute, except when she grunted when I poked her to roll over.

We got up a bit later than intended the next day (today), and left the house as the rest of Rebecca’s family were coming back from church. Her parents are SO incredibly casual and friendly – I wish my parents are like that!

Mela and I were going to have a quick breakfast of congee, and then go home, but after downing yum cha (or, as I called it, brum cha) and walking around the city to walk it off, we realized we didn’t want to go home and part ways, so we hung around for even longer. We saw Mai for a bit, and then had lunch at a cafe on Hardware Lane. Finally, stuffed full and promising to mutually start eating healthier and exercising more – both of us having developed relationship guts – we went home.

We realized that we’d spent over 24 hours literally in each other’s company the entire time (bar the small moments we went to the bathroom), and yet still weren’t sick of each other.

Alex.

All Hopes I Had Become Surreal

[My Heroine – Silverstein]

Today was my first official day at Melbourne. And, actually, you know what? Today was the first day of Autumn; that means that Summer has ended. I need to update my Summer playlist, and also it means that I’ll stop posting lyrical headings. This will thus be the end.

I think a lot of songs I REALLY WANTED TO USE didn’t get posted on. Well. Too bad. Perhaps I’ll do a Winter title thing as well.

Alright, to cut a long and obviously predictable story short: Yes Uni was pretty good. Lectures haven’t kicked in yet. There WAS one subject which reduced me to dozing, so I actually just changed out of it to something hopefully better EXCEPT I need to get it confirmed and get my timetables done. I hope I don’t get crappy times. I still get Tuesdays off. The food was expensive in Union House so I will start doing packed lunches. I’ll get a Union member friend to go heat it up for me.

Points of interest for today:

1) Josh and Annie are in the same lectures and breaks with me for the first 3 hours.

2) I am actually very excited about doing Professional Writing, even though a lot of the styles will be out of my comfort zone. But I think the Tutes will definitely help.

3) Seeing Zhen (3rd year student and friend) and saying hi to him at the cafeteria actually makes me feel really cool because I know a 3rd year.

4) The Norwegian guy I was talking about is also in my Professional Writing class. I really hope he never finds this blog or he’ll think I’m a complete freak.

5) Josh does not hesitate to tell disgusting stories while I eat.

6) Anna is very gullible. This I’ll go into detail soon.

7) I FINALLY MET SNEAKS!!! I FINALLY MET CHERYL! AFTER GOD KNOWS HOW LONG I ACTUALLY MET HER AND SHE IS RIDICULOUSLY TALL.

Alright, so Cheryl first. She’s doing Uni classes this year, so, because today I was going to stay back a bit to have dinner with Josh, Annie and Anna, I met up with her. This was the first time we ever did this.

I waited with her outside her room, and I swear, when she gets nervous she says the oddest things. CHERYL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! But actually, it was so good to tall to her in person, and be dwarfed, literally, by her presence.

After that, I went to dinner at Red Silks with the other three.

I think I haven’t laughed that hard or frequently through a meal in ages.

Somehow we managed to convince Anna that the bottle of water she was pouring from is actually pure tequila. We pretended to down the “tequila” with some effort, while she obviously effortlessly chugged it down. She got rather worried that she had “alcohol” without knowing it. It went on for nearly 10 minutes of us just half pissing ourselves laughing.

At the end of the meal, and I swear this happened, I told her that “gullible is written on the ceiling”…AND SHE LOOKED! Man, the fact that she took all of this in good humor and still laughed and had fun with us, that is a sign of a truly awesome person.

We also, for some reason (which I think was mostly Mai), had a huge conversation about cleavages. I remarked that it is awkward for me to hug friends above a certain height, because it means my face is level with some awkward – albeit comfortable – cushioning. Annie asked, “well why don’t you turn your head to the side?” I replied, “I ALREADY DO?! What, do you think I currently hug people by burying my face in their chest?! NO!”

And then, and I can’t remember why, I started singing “Do your ears hang low, do they sway to and fro?” I think it’s because Josh said, “You can just throw [your breasts] over your shoulder when you hug someone.” And, if I recall correctly, the song goes, “Do you throw them over your shoulders like a marching band soldier?”

Alright, so, I think I may have laughed too much today because I read back on what I wrote, and not only does it sound insanely immature, it also sounds a bit high. So I’m sorry if it was tedious to read, but there you go.

I have tomorrow off, to do my subjects. My books, however, are a worry.

So, I bid you my reader, welcome to Autumn. If you also started Uni today, I wish you the best for the future, and I hope you didn’t get TOO ripped off by the expensive food today.

Alex.

The Savior Of The Broken

[Welcome To The Black Parade – My Chemical Romance]

This post was written by Alex but posted by her lovely “master”, Jenny.

Yesterday was Jenny’s 18th birthday, and she had a BBQ at Jells Park. At least, she thought that was all there was.

I got up really early and went with my parents to Springvale so they would be able to drop me off at Glen on time. Had some weird but enlightening conversation with my mom regarding problems in her side of the family.

Got to the Glen at past 9:30 (after Jenny had called me almost 3 times demanding to know where I was) and met up with her at Safeway. We went around shopping, and then drove up to Jells.

It was warm but windy, and still getting better from feeling slightly coughy, I wasd worried. But then people started arriving, and I forgot about it. We started blowing up balloons (“ballons”, as Jenny’s shopping list read) and strung them up like a free-flying kite. It actually looked pretty nice. Met Alex C (I’ll call him AC in this post) and Hele-.

So when more guys came we started cooking. Steph played her awful K-Pop music.

Steph really wanted to go to the playground. She actually whinged about it. So we (Sam, Hele-, Steph, Ven- I think and myself) went to the swings. Then we went back, and by the time we’d gotten back most of the good meat were eaten.

We all sat down and had lunch. Hele- drowned my food in tomato sauce, making my lunch look like road kill. So I tried to kill hers in BBQ sauce. I remarked that my lunch looked like it was bleeding; she retorted that her lunch looked like it was taking a dump.

After lunch, and after taking about 2 hours to buy some drinks and change pants, Lois and AC arrived with a whole box of Cruisers. Thus the drinking started.

Jenny had maybe a total of 3/4 of a bottle before she felt ill. So ill that…well you can imagine. We figured, since she’d downed vodka shots before, maybe it was something in the Cruiser that didn’t agree with her. The best moment in what was a pretty awful moment was Nashi running up to Jenny with a bag and, standing like he was about to haul ass and run, thrusted the bag at her.

Pom was left to carry the (leaking) bad dripping with the stuffs to the bathroom. That was sorta funny too.

Anyway, sat with Jenny while she was trying to feel better, and watched Pom fail at frisbee with the boys.

After Jenny felt good enough to stop staring at a wall, we joined the others playing Blackjack: loser has to do a dare nominated. I sided with Jenny seeing as I forgot mostly how to play Blackjack, and so when we busted to 25, as the birthday girl, Jenny had to do the dare.

I think I won’t re-mention what she had to do. Because not mentioning it makes the dare sound even more…dare I say…Juizy?

Then came cake cutting time! Pom stayed up late and made the most beautiful pink cake. Then after that people had to start leaving. Some for the day…some…for what we made Jenny think was the day.

When everyone had more or less left, I was left with Jenny, waiting for her dad to arrive to “drop me off at the Glen”. Well, what was REALLY happening was that Lois had organized a surprise dinner for Jenny at the Sichuan Hotpot!

Apparently, though, the special girl knew about it (or rather knew there was something going on) because when I’d called her parents the previous night (and explained the situation in my crappy Chinese) she’d sussed already. Still. She looked reasonably pleased.

We ordered way too much food (and Pom spilled AC’s Smirnoff Ice that we snuck in) and so we sat there for over 2 hours eating our way through nearly 15 plates of food. Near the end, we smelled burning in the hotpot, and told the waitress whom we’d already pissed off (and who Kevin tried to boil) that we burned the hotpot.

3 minutes later, Andrew started scooping in the murky water, and lo and behold scooped out a metal ladle that had been sitting in there for maybe 20 good minutes. Burning? Try boiled metal.

I hope we didn’t get food/metal poisoning.

I got home ready to burst and collapse at the same time. But I was happy that (despite minor setbacks and regurgitations) Jenny seemed to have enjoyed herself very much.

Happy Birthday Love!

Alex.

Go Ahead And Lower It Down

[Hey Brittany! – Forever The Sickest Kids]

Yesterday I caught up with Angie and Si-, the latter of whom I haven’t seen since the end of 2008. Man a year sure goes fast.

I dressed up…well Angie sort of yelled at me on Saturday for not owning a single dress:

A: “How have you LIVED until now?!”

Me: “Happily and comfortably.”

So I went and found something to wear and it was warm yesterday so I had to deal with it. I showed Angie what I was wearing (I felt like getting my mother’s consent but well, if it made her happy) and she said yes to this:

I messed up the time table reading skills, and looked at bus and train times for Monday – Friday, when it is Saturday times for this week. It resulted in me standing at the bus stop for about 40 minutes, but luckily I found some shade, and a new band to listen to.

Took the train up to Melbourne Central, and having given myself plenty of time to travel I was on time despite being later than I anticipated. Watched the tourists film the clock singing (one of those days I will have listened to it too many times). Then surprise surprise Dom showed up at Melbourne Central so I made him stand with me for a while before Si- and Angie arrived.

Said bye to the Badger-boy, and we went with Angie’s friends Ruby and Simon to Madame Brussels.

The chairs on the very right of the picture, that was the ones we sat in.

Ruby and Simon had to leave pretty early, so it left Si-, Angie and myself just having “girl talks” (oh yes, I was in a girl talk. It was new).

There were many interesting quotes that came out of that girl talk, such as:

S: “And he’s pretty tank. He does this fighting thing. What’s it called? UFO? No…”

We shared a jug of Moscow Mule and Singapore Slingshot, and then felt like some Hungry Jack’s. (I BROKE MY NO FAST FOOD THING! I was lasting since Oct 31st…let’s just not count this, right?) Then we went to Cookie, which is the rooftop bar above the Secret Bookshop where I got Katherine her present.

Clearly that wasn’t the time we went but you get the idea that…it’s on a rooftop. They got a Gin and Tonic and I got a Vodka Apple after April introduced me to it.

After Cookie, when we had about 10 minutes left until 10 pm, so we rushed to the Harajuku Crepe store and I got a Tiramisu deluxe. We went to the trains, and I saw that my train was in 1 minute, so I hauled ass only to miss the train by 5 secs. If I had 5 more seconds I’d be on that train. Instead I waited with Si- for about 15 minutes until her train arrived, and then went down to take my train.

On the way home there was this weird Asian lady in front of me doing a bad pretense of taking a picture of herself. Call me self-important but I’m pretty sure she was taking a picture of me. And then her phone rang and it was the strings theme from Psycho. I was texting Jenny about how I was on a train (I don’t get why people think that the Glen Waverley line is scary at night. As long as everyone’s sober Glen Waverley is safe as) and she got worried about the lady and the lateness, so she told me to be careful. I laughed and told her I’m fine, and at that exact moment, around Mount Waverley, the train shuddered really badly and there was a loud crunching sound. I thought to myself, “Oh fuck you karma don’t try to prove me wrong now…”

I couldn’t fall asleep for ages, and then just as I was drifting off at around 2 am my phone sounded, and it was Mani telling me I forgot to sign out of MSN on my phone.

Gained consciousness at around 8 when Bianca emailed me which made my phone go off, and I was going to reply on the spot, but I rolled over and the next thing I knew it was 11:30.

Alex.

P.S. Murder, She Wrote, is really funny.

She Will Always Be My Sunkissed Trampoline

[Little Joanna – McFly]

This is Day 2 of Sorrento.

Damn it, I left it too long, things are getting hazy. That and I’m trying to finish off the rest of the tequila (about 1/3 of the bottle) that no one else wanted to take home.

Before I continue, though, I just want to say that the lyrics are always random. Dani said that the brain automatically tries to make some connection to some hidden meaning.

I started the 2nd day with Jen’s and Annie’s voices waking me up. It was ironic because it was Annie’s voice (and Tiff’s, screaming stuff like “STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!” – they shared a bed) that kept me up the previous night. I turned on the TV and watched Sesame Street. The letter of the day is J, and the number was 16.

Anyway, everyone got up at some point, stumbled around and had breakfast (Jen made the most orgasmic scrambled eggs) and then got ready for the beach.

Went to the beach, which was about 5 minutes away, and on the way passed some road workers, one of whom offered to “be your lifeguard, if ya want?”. No.

Slapped on sunscreen (apparently not enough in some places, as we found out later). Then decided to fill up my water gun. I actually went completely into the water in my tank top and running shorts, which was dumb because the shorts were designed to hold water, so after I stood up, I looked like I was pissing myself for about 5 minutes. We decided to “dig a hole, and put a nerd in it”. So April went in. Then we did the obligatory body shape thing, except we decided to go for a Lady GaGa theme.

Er, yes, the gun is in fact her “gun”.

And you can’t see as clearly, but the assets on her chest were Spanna sized. In April’s own words, she “can’t even see past them”.

The weather was awesome. We were worried that at best we can get half a day of windy cold beach, but instead we got this (and sorry for the chapped lips, but salt water is yucky. Yes I had some in my mouth. April thought it would HILARIOUS):

That, by the way, is Spanna. You can’t see her boobies but trust you me, they’re…what’s a synonym for big? Gigantic? Yeah okay.

Anyway, frolicked around in the sand for a bit. We ate packed sandwiches, and Bel’s sandwich got attacked by some hungry seagulls, who continued to try to nom the half sandwich the whole way through lunch.

Speaking of annoying things hanging around; the workers that were all pervy before came back and blatantly sat at the top of the beach, about 10 meters away from us, and watched us. They actually ate lunch watching us. Well, at least we all believed it was us (Shar- got really creeped out) it could be the ocean view but we highly doubted it.

Sunbaked heaps. Well, they sunbaked. I simply let myself crisp. I think I’ll probably die for posting this picture but hell.

To whomever this picture depicts: If you simply don’t tell me off for putting it there no stranger will know who you are. To the people who do recognise the girl: I KNOW RIGHT?! KERCHOW!

Went back at around 2 or 3, and then Jen, Spanna and I wrote up the stuff for Carmaine (just quick birthday notes, filled with love) and I took a quick shower. The gritty nature of my hair was great, I felt like a true surfie. Actually I just felt salty and burnt. This was the burn on my back:

It’s actually quite embarrassing to show it. It looks so dumb.

Alright, so then Jen and I, get this, walked into Blairgowrie again. Remember that map from yesterday? I did it AGAIN! Turned out I had pretty awful sunburn on the backs of my feet so the walking didn’t help. Nearly fainted once. It was awful. In the end we missed the cutoff time for posting it (who knew at Sorrento/Blairgowrie it would be 3pm?) so Carmaine, you probably received it by now, a day late. Sorry!

Went back, and then had dinner. It was the best dinner ever! We had some of the best dinner table conversations ever, starting from Tiff saying to everyone, “Oh my gosh, Spanna is such a freak in bed” (she meant Annie was just being weird, not the other meaning. But we all took it the other way anyway, and I was choking with laughter for about 3 whole minutes) to my saying “they should invent fly nets with holes for the face and arms so you could stick your face and arms through the whole while you eat” and April countering with, “why can’t you just get nets that go all around the table?”

That night we played punishment. Basically two names are drawn, and then a punishment drawn. Whatever the punishment is (we kept it tame and civil) the two have to do to each other. For example, April had to do a CS Cowboy shot (do not ask what CS is)

Once I got drawn out with the punishment “cut a bit off the fringe”. Everyone else was saying, “Oh that’s easy.” But I actually was terrified. NOT MY FRINGE! I passed it over to Shar-. She didn’t give a crap.

Then we watched Scream. That movie was done by Scary Movie, and we all agreed that the movie was MADE to be parodied. Because the movie itself felt like a parody. It was horrendously hilarious, but for the fun of it we all did the screaming like “GET OUT OF THE ROOM!” “HE’S BEHIND YOU!” “JUMP OFF THE ROOF!” “DON’T RUN UPSTAIRS!” “RUN, BITCH! RUN!” I think scary movies are just much more fun when you’re with friends who get scared easily (April, I’m looking at you) and scream so you scream to make them scream.

Then after that we watched a bit of Team America but everyone went to sleep anyway. Pretty much I only wanted Sonam to see the puppet sex scene, which she did. She said at the end of it, “there were things that I didn’t know…you could do.” Well, we learn something new everyday.

Tiff, Spanna and I were the last ones to bed. That’s because the 3 of us were the most/only ones burnt, and we were in pain. Tiff had the massive-est burn on her back. It was actually painful to look at it. I wanted to hug her but hugs also pain her. Breathing probably pained her. We used up a very long spanking session worth of moisturizer on her back. (Speaking of moisturizers, it turned out we had medicated sun burn lotion at home. Dad didn’t think we’d need it at the beach, apparently.)

I slept at around 4:30, after checking my emails and FML on my phone. Then I woke up at 8:30 from Jen’s voice. That’s a story for the next post, though.

Alex.

MLIA, I’m Hanging Onto You!

So today was another “study session” with Jen at State library. I’ve given up on saying it’s a real study session. Who’re we kidding?

Met up at 9:30 UCMC (by the way, that term never has and never will catch on, will it) and went upstairs to Gloria Jeans, where we both got one of those Iced Tim Tam drink things. Discussed losing weight and fatness for a while, and then we went to State at around 10, past 10 ish.

Went in (it was very cool. Way to pay attention to global warming, guys) and started trying to study for Legal Studies. Two minutes in, we fell into a coma. So we played some games on our iPods (speaking of which mine still isn’t fixed, I still can’t link it to my computer. Can anyone help?) and repeatedly said “Okay we HAVE to study we HAVE to study” and then we didn’t.

At around 12 Jen felt hungry so we went out to a Vietnamese place on Swanston Street. I had Pho (Not Pris. She comes later) and Jen had some broken rice thing. It was hot so I decided to treat myself to a VB. When I ordered it, the guy looked at me and said, “are you old enough to drink?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” And then went away with our order. That was some epic ID checking right there. If only nightclubs did the same, right?

“Are you old enough to grind in an over-age venue?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Are you old enough to drive?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

I decided to be cool and ate some of the chilli that came with the Pho, and bit down on the seeds. It was…interesting.

Went back to State afterwards, and it was really really really hot. Went to the Games Room and played Wii for a while, where Jen owned me in Wii Tennis and Bowling (shh). Then Pris called me, and her and Carmaine came along, with Dom following (well Dom…would have been there regardless…did you know he dreamt about State Library? Duuuuude). Carmaine, Jen and I played Little Big Planet (Jen and I took one control, where Jen was direction and I was jumping etc) and Pris and Dom played Wii. Then they got bored and joined us at Little Big Planet.

I helped figure out how to hold onto things, and spent quite a lot of the time hanging onto Carmaine’s character while she dragged me around. Then we came across a trap where it’s a ghost thing that floats up and down, and if the ghost thing covers your character you die. She got annoyed at me hanging onto her (well hell it was fun.) and aimed it so that the ghost covered our character but not hers. We died, she didn’t. She laughed evilly.

And then I’ll skip how good Dom is at the game.

And then they left to study, and Jen and I actually studied. We went through a practice exam orally (dude, don’t) except I think it was an easy exam because we did it really easily. Studied a bit more, and then played on iPod again.

Jen needed to charge her iPod, so I went to get my recharge cord out of the locker. Except 4 hours was up by then, so I had to pay an extra dollar for another four hours, but only needed 1 hour. Then, this happened (and I submitted it to MLIA, so hopefully you’ll see it):

Today, I was annoyed at having to pay a dollar for another four hours on a locker when I only need it for an hour more. I put in my two dollar coin, and heard my change fall into the slot. Reaching in, I came back with 2 one-dollar coins; the previous user had forgotten to take their change, thus giving me a free hour on my locker. I felt like State Library was apologizing for making me pay. MLIA.

It was awesome.

Left at around 4 and went to JB. They didn’t have the headphones I wanted. Said bye to Jen and went to Big W. They didn’t have the headphones I wanted. Went back to Melbourne Central and bought a Monster energy drink with the 2 dollars I then had because of above, drank it on the train home (shouldn’t have done it) and then at Holmesglen these bunch of fobby TAFE students came in loudly talking in Chinese about how they fail in English (agreed).

Tomorrow, I have my Legal exam. And then after that only Chinese which I frankly don’t even worry about anymore. Maybe I’ll write 1 or 2 more practice essays and I’m done. I’m so glad the exam period was as scary as I feared – but it was still pretty shitty.

Alex.

 

Don-don-don-don’t hold back

Today was Vania’s 18th birthday, and we had her birthday party at April’s place.

Got there before anyone else did, win. Vania came later on, and got stuff set up. Brought a respektable amount of alcohol so that April can make sex on the beach.

I still snigger when I say that.

Got Singstar set up, and started warming up with a few songs. Bo came, then Bel and Julia, then Li-. We really got into the swing of things and then we played Pass The Mic and that was stupid hard.

April and I did battle on Grace Kelly by Mika. We actually did pretty well. It’s a good song.

Aristarchus, April’s cat, rubbed himself on everyone and everything that came along.

Mimay and Fah- came along much later, and then Lily left. We had ice cream cake, and then just before Vania cut the cake, we (or me) suggested that Vania do a shot before she cuts the cake. April got her a Vodka and Schnapps shot, and Soph yelled “Oh my god, give her a chaser, she’ll die.”

Then April made sex on the beach.

Snigger.

Sang a bit more, Julia and I owned on “Don’t Hold Back” by the Potbelleez (or however you spell their band name) and then started watching 10 Things I Hate About You.

Everyone pretty much left at that point, and then when Vania left, Julia, Bel and I decided to bid our farewells as well.

It was fun, because everytime someone left we sang happy birthday.

Julia sneezed a lot. Like. A lot. I think Bel counted to 12 (?) in a row.

Played Tap Tap Revenge on the train home. Need to download more songs.

Alex.