I’ve Been The Needle And The Thread

[Must Get Out – Maroon 5]

Sorry, but I haven’t been so diligent in writing up everything that happened.

On Thursday I went up to Melb U again. Took the train up with Jenny (who, by the way, made me wait at Mt Wav for ages and then made me sit in the sun. Jenny, I thought I told you! I hate waiting, and I hate the sun), and then went up to Melb U by myself. Found the Sydney Asia Myer Center easily, and surprise surprise bumped into Annie going to the theater. I swear. That chick is everywhere.

The lecture was pretty boring as well, but at least the lecture theater looked pretty awesome. Afterwards, Annie went up to the place where she had interviews for Chinese (yelled at Josh over SMS for being late), and then we decided to find Union House by “wandering along in a straight line until we hit something”.

After that, it really was just a blur of clubs, freebies etc. Went back and forth from Bookshop back to Union House etc, met up with Josh who’d by that time decided to grace us with his presence. Met Pris’ friends Sarah and Vits. I joined Aa, which I don’t remember the full name but it has to do with Asians. Then we stumbled across the juggling club, and after severe failure, Jen and I thought, “yes, we should join this club.”

Watched Flare perform, and Annie and I played “what percentage is that overly enthusiastic guy gay?” I started at 90%, but by the time he’d finished with some booty shaking, and shimmy-shimmying, we shot up to 190%.

Picked up Anna along the way, and then we walked around trying to find the rumored “free beer”. We came across the pub crawl, and followed it. On the way, we all thought, “Oh no, this will be okay. Jackie will be able to get in; they can’t possibly check all our IDs.” Well they did, and Jackie, being 4 months shy of drinking age, couldn’t go in. So I stayed outside with her, watching the others drink through the window (they weren’t easing up on the showing off either). Then Jackie and I went to a nearby park place, and sat down on the grass. The others joined us soon, and we sat around listening to – sigh – Korean music.

After that, we all took the tram back to Melb Central. Said bye to everyone, and I found Jenny again, who’d just been to her own RMIT orientation deal, and was full to the brim of stories of RMIT students. I tried to listen but I was tired and hungry.

Jenny bumped into her friends from PLC at Melb Central, and I went to greet them too. Then, we finally went to the Original Lolly Store, and bought the Pop Rocks I’d wanted since the TAYG filming.

And that was Thursday. My feet hurt. Oh and that night I was talking to Josh on MSN and he offered to teach me to dance (so did Dom, but Dom didn’t do anything about it. I don’t know if Josh would. Let’s see.)

Alex.

Everybody’s Screaming

[Untitled – Simple Plan]

You know, the whingey one. Now, I haven’t written about yesterday, and since I have some time to kill before I gotta go shower, so I’ll write about both days.

Yesterday was my first O-day thing at Melbourne. I took the train up with Elmo (…Did I call her Jackie or Elmo? Who cares. It’s Jackie now.) and met up with Jen at Melbourne Central. She texted me saying “see you UCMC.” I replied, “Wtf is UCMC?” Now, who here remembers that blog post where I wrote “I invented a new acronym for ‘under the clock at Melb Central’ so it’s easier and faster to type”? Yes, I failed at remembering my own code.

Took the tram up to Melb U, and went to get my ID and concession cards done. I managed to look like a gimp in mine. Yes. I’m now stuck with it for 3 years.

Made it to my Host group just on time, despite getting lost and having to call my Host. Didn’t really know anyone there, quite a few of the other students in my group are doing Art as breadth or something, as a 2nd year transfer, or something like that, so I felt pretty small.

Oh, but there was this Norwegian guy in my group who closely resembled Cory Monteith from Glee. I may or may not have been walking close to him for the rest of the tour, just to hear his accent.

After the Host tour, I caught back up with Jen, Jackie, and then met up with Nay. We went around trying to get free stuff. We went to the Nando’s stall, thinking they’d hand out free Peri Peri sauce packets. We did get a packet. On the front it said “Not for soft cocks”. It took a good 20 seconds for us to realize we were each given a condom.

Got more free stuff walking around; lined up for 20 minutes for pancakes that came with really good strawberries, and then lined up for 20 minutes for the free BBQ. While we were eating we bumped into an old face from back old VET days with Nay. To cut a long story short, that was a very bad meeting.

Then lined up for snow cones. I wanted a massage too but you had to show that you were in the Student Union, not just lying and saying “yes I am” to get a free snow cone…

Caught up with more MacRob girls, then went home with Jackie. Hung out at the Glen for a bit before taking the bus back, just ‘cos there was nothing else to do.

Anyway, that was Tuesday. Now onto today.

Took the train up with Jackie again, and dropped her off at her building, which was pretty far away from the rest of the buildings. Went to my building which took a good 5 minutes to find, with many rotating bodies and maps.

Caught up with Spanna, who I hope doesn’t mind but from now I’m going to call Annie, her actual name. Then the Asian friends she made the previous day arrived, so I introduced myself. Thus I met Kristie (Christy? Christie? You know what I mean) and Josh. Josh, who was from Scotch, turned out to actually have many mutual friends with me. Also saw Pris, who looked really tanned, still.

Fast forward through a rather boring lecture, and we were lined up for the free BBQ (I love Uni having free BBQs all the time. Apparently later on they’ll have more, but with alcohol instead of soft drinks). Jen and Mai appeared, and smoothly we let them cut in line with us. Introduced Jen and Mai to Josh.

There’s a Facebook event called “Make things sexually awkward” so I decided to bring that up. It resulted in Annie asking Mai to hug Josh, because Mai has…rather…well…endowed assets. And Josh’s response was bloody funny (Let me clarify now that it was all in good humored fun, good humored and platonic fun, there was nothing there and it was all a joke):

“Wait, why are you hu-…WOAH!”

It was fantastic. And. Very awkward. So, mission accomplished.

As we were eating our lunch later, Dom and D.P. came along. Dom ditched us to hang off his MHS buddies (literally), so Josh was the only guy sitting with us. Had a pretty good lunch (I also remember an instance where Mai was holding my sunnies, and Josh pointed at them saying “Woah they’re HUGE!” But Mai was holding my sunnies around her chest area), and thank God we sat in the shade.

Went to another lecture thing later on, and it was so boring and patronizing. After that, Jen and I went to a final lecture, and I nearly fell asleep, or I did fall asleep, I can’t remember. Afterwards caught up with Annie and Josh who’d ditched us for something else. Jackie found us again, and then we took the tram back down to Melbourne Central.

At Melb Central, I managed to bump into Catherine and all, and it was fantastic to see them again! They were coming back from their Swimming Carnival (haha high school carnivals). Got home with a blister on my foot, from having to walk so much. Yes I am complaining.

So that’s my first 2 days of O week – two more days after this. There’s something happening with the Arts camp I think but I don’t know what. It’s rather confusing. Maybe I should rephrase: Arts “camp”. Yes, that does sound more suss. Good.

Will keep you posted.

Alex.

Happy birthday Hamwu!

Got a fair amount to write about today. So here goes:

Before I get to Andrew’s surprise dinner, I just want to say that today I finally pinpointed why Jack (the tutor)’s laugh is so strange.

IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE DR. HIBBERT FROM THE SIMPSONS!

Alright, so after I finished at my 12:30 session at Jack’s, during which I sat next to 2 strangers and I had Biro, Zhu- and Mon- 2 rows behind me (Jack kept on calling Zhu- “Zohan”) I went to take a train from Springvale up into the city. Springvale, let me say now, is dodgy. I was there on a Sunday afternoon, no EASTER Sunday afternoon, and I felt its dodginess. Imagine a Thursday night. Brr.

Organized to meet April under the Clock (from now on I will refer to “under the clock at Melb Central” as “UCMC”) at around 3:30. So I got there and started playing my DS, and I get a text from her saying that she’d had some ticket inspectors get on the tram and she didn’t have any coins (nor a ticket, obviously). She told me later that when she saw them get on, she kind of said loudly into her phone, “Oh oh okay, I’ll get off right now, see you later!” And walked from Flinders to Melb Central. All that happened was I got an extra 15 minutes of game time.

We went in search for places that are open – toilets first. Had a joke along the way that the only things that are open are ones run by Asians. Not much had proven otherwise as we went up to the bathroom near Nandos on the upper level of Melb Central. One stall was out of toilet paper and the other blocked. Went down to the one near Bubble Cup near the turnstiles. On the way down, we went down an escalator that had stopped. I said to April, “See, this escalator is run by white people. And the one next to us which is still on is run by Asians. Equal job opportunities, but we just work harder.”

Went down Swanston to Starbucks on Lonsdale (I’m getting used to the street names…finally) and sat outside on a bench because the seats were taken (the Starbucks had to be run by Asians). Then a couple in a SmartCar pulled up and parked right beside us. We started laughing at the car because it looked like a normal car with its arse chopped off. The guy went into the cafe to get a drink, and his girlfriend appeared to be trying to sleep in the car. I wondered why she didn’t just recline back when I realized that if she’d reclined her seat she would break through the back of the car.

Sophie came later, and we went up to UCMC, where some people were already waiting. Then, Soph’s boyfriend whose name is rather distinct so I won’t write it here, he came with a Scream mask – as he was going to a costume party later. When Andrew and Dani came – AND IT WAS A SURPRISE! Andrew kept saying how sneaky Dani was – there was about a 5 minute gap between them coming and us leaving, during which SBF (Soph’s boyfriend) went around ghosting people (ghosting, like Hamish and Andy ghosting) in the mask. He followed 2 Asian guys who noticeably walked faster and faster to get away from him. And all we did was stand in a group and giggle. Actually, we walked down Swanston to Red Silks with him in the mask, and an Asian guy took a picture with him and got a hug (we all laughed) and 4 TB Asian girls went past him and started giggling hysterically. Soph is a lucky girl.

Winston gave Andrew 2 huge stuffed animals, a bear and a monkey. I don’t know what he ended up naming them. So the 2 large (when I say large, I mean they’re about the size of my upper body head inclusive) animals went with us into China Town.

I think at this point I should mention the presence of Doug and Kat (or Cat…sorry I didn’t ask), and that Dani gave Andrew a new manly watch. During dinner, the group was split into two. To be blunt, one table were the Asian TBs and gangsters, and the other one was the couples table, except for April, another dude whose name I forgot, and myself. I sat opposite Doug. So Andrew was trying to figure out how to set the time on the watch, and must’ve said something like “wow it has so many functions!” because when I went into the conversation, I heard Doug joking about a watch that had an irony meter – so you don’t look stupid saying something is ironic when it isn’t. Then Dani said that it could also have a Gay-Dar. Doug pretended to go “bip bip bip BEEP BEEP BEEP” when it “pointed” at Dani, and I added, “Dani would probably say, ‘baby, there’s something I need to tell you.’ ‘I ALREADY KNOW!'” And Doug finished with, “At this point the irony meter would probably go off.”

So from that point on all through the night everytime I said irony we would pretend the “irony meter” went off.

Kat, Doug’s girlfriend, is good at singing. And Red Silks decided to play a collection of the sappiest love songs, to which Kat knew most of the lyrics. She would burst into song, which also meant she couldn’t eat. I made the remark that if she sings to every song she knew, she’d never finish her meal. Later on came a song she hated, and she said, “Oh good I get a chance to eat now!”

And, a final mini story. SBF ordered the Kiao Teow, which Red Silks does a bit spicy. SBF was sweating as he was eating it, remarking how much he loves it, and Soph decided to try a bit. Soph does NOT do well with chilli, and started gulping down water. So April handed Soph her water, and I handed Soph mine, and then I took Kat’s to give to Soph. She sat there for 4 minutes afterwards just trying to get the feeling away. In the meantime, Kat and I had a sound argument over whether milk or water is better when dealing with chilli.

So, that was the end of the night. Everyone went to Dani’s place but I had to go home, so I don’t know what happened afterwards. But it was a great night, and SBF in the mask is unforgettable. (Like when he tried to do the Spiderman kiss with the mask half off and it wouldn’t come off.)

Alex.