Come On And Hold You Like Candy

[Thieving – Lovedrug]

Today I went to see Paranormal Activities with Jen, Sonia and Susan.

I got up very early and took an early train to the city. Went to Melb Uni to ask a few questions (mainly asking what other choices I have now that I PROBABLY won’t get into my course. I fell 0.25 short of the required score, which is 97.6 You do the maths). Then went to Allan’s Music (I got lost. Don’t ask) to get a capo – lingered in the guitar section looking at all the cool electric guitars – and then went to the Secret Book Shop (I swear there is a name for that store) to get Wreck This Journal for Katherine.

Okay, errands were done. I went back to Melb Central, where Cathy said she wanted to meet up. I went to the upstairs foodcourt to get something to nom on seeing as I was a bit early, and as I was walking in I saw in my short sighted peripherals some chick with an Asian fringe pointing at me. I veered towards that blob, and I realized it was Mai, with Jenny T and D.P. and Wes. I sat with them for a bit (they’d just come back from staying at an apartment for Esther’s birthday). Ate their food instead of buying some. Win.

Cathy called again, so I went down to see her (HUG HUG HUG I haven’t seen her in so long!!) and teased her a bit about growing out her fringe. Then we went back to Allan’s where Jen was waiting. We went upstairs and Cathy showed off on the electric violin. At around 12 Jen and I went back to Melb Central and met Susan.

Okay, so, bought the tickets (Bel and Julia pulled out) and then ate lunch at Grill’d. Could their burgers BE any bigger? Made so many rude jokes about Jen and her meat. Stuffed ourselves silly, and then basically the three of us played on our iPod/iPhones (Unblock Me!) for ages. Then we went down to the Asian grocery to buy cheap noms for the movie. Jen took ages to decide.

Went to see the movie, Hi Sonia! Pee’d, and then sat down in our seats for the movie. The previews were nothing fresh, so the movie started.

Can I just say.

Do not.

Under any circumstances.

Pay money to watch it.

Ever.

It was so boring! And it wasn’t even scary. I mean, at least Scream was funny, to make up for it being not scary. And if you’re going to do a handheld camera horror about possessions, then at LEAST try to match SOME of Emily Rose’s awesomeness. No, it wasn’t creepy that you tried to pass the whole thing off as “really happened” because we KNOW it didn’t. Instead it was just annoying watching the guy and the girl walk around bitching to each other. The ONLY remotely fun part was Night 21, and when the psychic pissed off after being scared. That WAS pretty funny.

Anyway, I wasn’t really ever taking the movie seriously (Susan, on my left, clawed the air in fright every time a sudden movement happened) and then my phone buzzed. I had forgotten to sign out of MSN. Jenny Z started talking to me and I told her about how bored I was watching P.A. She laughed and told me to be patient and wait for Night 21.

There was this funny bit in Night 20 where they were sleeping and their sheets got blown like there was air under the sheets. It was meant to be creepy because it’s the Demon getting in, but I giggled and said, “Haha she farted” which made everyone laugh. So, moment ruined.

Then in Night 21, when it was really tense, I pushed Jen who screamed, “STOP DOING THAT!” and then the guys behind us started laughing ‘cos they saw me shove Jen. Then when the girl stood up, and, possessed, walked over to the guy still sleeping and “supernaturally” removed his sheets, one of the girls sitting in front of me said, “He-lloooo” in a suggestive tone. Another scary moment ruined.

To top the whole thing off, when the movie finished and the curtains closed, music came on in the theater. Guess what song? Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling.” WHAT?! “I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night” after a (supposed) horror movie? WHO THOUGHT OF THAT?

Left the cinemas laughing.

Walked around with Sonia and Jen for a bit (Susan went home) and then said bye to them pretty quickish. Got home, dinner’d, and then went driving for a bit (first time in 2 years). I was actually still pretty okay at it. So. Here’s to muscle memory.

Alex.

P.S. Didn’t mention Jenny Z enough. Hi Jenny Z. My master.

It Was A Fun Day, It Was A Fail Day, It Was A Ducking Fantastic Day

That was a long title.

Today, instead of going to singing rehearsals (which I think now that I think about it, I was actually aware of last week, then forgot about until last night) I went out with Katherine again. We went to the city to “research” webcams, speakers etc. Also, I had to run errands.

Got to the Glen uber early because I couldn’t be bothered catching a bus so got mom to drop me off as she went to work, meaning I waited around at Maccas using their free wifi for about an hour. Got the 10:11 train, and Katherine got on at Mt Waverley. This doesn’t sound exciting. It isn’t.

Got to Melbourne Central and needed to pee. Then got Caramellatte. Still isn’t that exciting.

(What WAS funny, however, as right before I went into the bathroom I told Katherine to “stay here” and the look she gave me could only be described as “oh-no-you-didn’t-just-treat-me-like-your-dog”.)

So first of all we went to Myer to look at speakers. It took ages to find the entertainment section because we had to go down down down down.

Katherine also looked at cameras because she wants a DSLR. Anyone gonna help her out? Didn’t think so.

By the way, and this has been bugging me all day; to my friends: do any of you use Versace New Woman? Because Katherine was wearing it, and I SWEAR I know someone else who wears it but I cannot for my LIFE remember who. It would, I assume, be someone who I get close enough to smell. Just ignore how ducking perverted I sound right now.

I think that’s the bottle. Google does tend to duck with me sometimes.

Then we left Melbourne Central and went to Bourke St to head for JB. We went into Target first, and got lost. I told her to “ask the Asian chick!” but she refused to. “We can find it ourselves!” “You’re such a guy!” “What?!” “Guys never ask for directions.” “FINE I’ll ask the Asian chick!”

Then we got out of Target and went into JB. This is gripping stuff this is.

We saw the speakers that she wanted. Z4 or something? She gasped. Then saw the pricetag. She gasped again.

Well, at this point (and I just consulted Katherine who also has “NO idea”) I forgot the chain of events, so I’ll just throw in stuff that happened and hopefully the universe doesn’t collapse into itself in a mess of chronological mess.

Mess of…chronological…mess. I need to sleep.

At some point we traversed Russel St. We walked around in the shade (thank you vampirism). We walked a hell of a lot. We went to the Dirt Cheap Books store. Haha. Ha. I made Katherine look at a book about sex or something naughty starting with S. I found it funny. She found it fit to simply walk away from me. I tried calling her name but to no avail. I contemplated using the tried-and-true “MARCO POLO” tactic but felt it not emergency enough.

At some other point I took Katherine to the “secret shop” that Eunice once showed me except she’s been there before with another Alex. We looked at PostSecret books and random books. She found this book called “Wreck This Journal”. At the back of the book, it says “tape this book together, and mail it to yourself!” I think I might actually mail it to her.

At some other point we traversed Elizabeth St. That was painful on my feet too. We walked into a lot of electronic stores. Most of the time I just whinged about how Katherine doesn’t watch FRIENDS, and never has.

(I started marathon-ing Season 2 of FRIENDS again last night. I gotta say that summer when I marathon-ed it all was such a wonderful summer. Michelle, can I borrow all of them again?)

At some yet other point we ate lunch. Had an interesting conversation at lunch. It was interesting because I made Katherine talk and eat. You know she doesn’t do either in public right? Apparently she doesn’t sing in public either. I mean. Who doesn’t or hasn’t once sung in public?

At some yet other other point I ran my errand. We went to National Geographic and I got Eunice her Sea Monkeys.

At some fail point I started going up in the down escalators because my brain said, “No one is going to that one, it’s empty!”

Finally, we were bushed. We were so bushed we decided to find a place to sit down except the downstairs foodcourt at Melb Central was too hot and one of the good couches upstairs was taking by a really PDA couple (there was a lot of space next to them – they were REALLY PDA – but yeah we thought it would be WAY awkward to go sit with them).

So we went down to the Basement and found a couch to crash on. Listened to Katherine’s iPod. Then this group of guys came down and sat on the couch next to us and it was majorly awkward turtle ‘cos we just basically sat still and pretended we weren’t there. Then they left. So we had the gummy people I bought her, and I made her drop one in my mouth except she missed (I swear, oh my god, my mouth was 10 cms from her hand. She missed).

At some point after that we took the train home together after I made her take Glenny with me (the guilty puppy face actually works on her. Wow.) and we tried to solve the Sudoku except I ducked it up. Then we were doing the crossword, and 16-across was “Ass-like”. I wrote “Katherine” next to it.

I guess I can’t be bothered explaining the huge in-joke behind that except just simple to direct you towards “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas.

There was a clue that was “seize”. So far we had _rap___ and at the same time both of us wondered out loud, “Crapture?”

After she left I was sending her a text and I tried to write the f word except it came out as “duck”. I think that’s how I’m going to swear as from now on.

Well, I was aiming for 1000 words and I hit it.

Alex.

P.S. Apparently singing rehearsals sucked. Yay. (Annie…Annie…ah duck it)

P.P.S. 14 days ’til Sorrento!

Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am…what else?

I took an mX going home today, and read about in the Twitter section the little joust between Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am.

I don’t think I’m going to comment too much, except that I really don’t like Perez anyway so I am finding it sort of funny (oh sure, I’d hate it if it happens to me but…that’s what makes Funniest Home Video so popular).

Anyway…here’s a small section of it:

I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please. 5:34 PM Jun 22nd from Sidekick

I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke. 5:36 PM Jun 22nd from Sidekick

Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel. about 24 hours ago from Sidekick

Later…

I won’t be talking about this any further. It is in the hands of the authorities.about 22 hours ago from web

Followed by…

I am NOT going to let this affect my work. And today will be a day like any other on the website. about 22 hours ago from web

And then 5 hours and 11 more tweets about it later…

My statement about being attacked in Toronto last night about 17 hours ago from web

I am honestly SHOCKED at the amount of people saying I deserved to be hit. Shame on you! NO. Violence is never the answer. NEVER. about 15 hours ago from web

There’s this from Will.I.Am, who set up an account following this incident:

i just made a twitter account because it isnt cool for someone to blame you and blast you with lies…about 23 hours ago from web

@officialTila this is dude is crazy…he will go to any length to get press… wow…!!!! about 23 hours ago from web in reply to officialTila

And that was about it.

Hmm.

Let’s see what happens next.

I’ve copied and pasted directly from their twitter. I’ve taken out all the links.

I won’t say what I actually want to say, and I won’t put too many tags into this post in case people googling it finds my blog, flames me for stuff I said and I get into trouble. But hey, interesting, don’t you think?

Alex.