Children’s Audio Books?!

Today I noticed in “incoming links” that this random Children’s Audio Books site linked to my blog, the post about that time when we went to see Potted Potter last holidays.

Yeah, hopefully they don’t read through the rest of my site, whomever sees that link. Might not be kiddy friendly. Even hopefully-er, they don’t read April’s as well.

By the way, check out United States of Tara.

It’s about Tara, as acted by Tony Collette, who has a split personality disorder.

She turns into T, a slutty 15 year old, Alice, a proper 1950s housewife (who’s a little on the creepy side) and Buck, an ex Viet Veteran…MALE.

Collette does all of these characters.

If you thought that mom who turns into her evil sister from Heroes is scary, this one is even better! It’s not SCARY it’s just funny.

Do check it out, please. It’s worth it. Can’t wait ’til it comes here to Australia.

Alex.

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What I’ve Done

So let mercy come
And wash away…
What I’ve done…

I’ve gone and imported this blog onto my notes on Facebook. So the traffic should get a bit busier, I hope. I made it so that you can read my post, but to comment you’d have to come here. Ingenius, no?

By the way, that was “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park.

In other news, we got our new internet installed finally, 1 and a half months late. We’re now with Telstra Bigpond. It comes with a wireless thing so when we get a new computer and when I get a laptop I can totally just use the internet from my room. How awesome!

And, Dom had gone get himself tested for swine flu. Results in a few days. Hope he doesn’t have it, the poor bugger.

That’s all for now.

Alex.

P.S. Catherine I really really do love you for what you wrote.

A Bit Of Comic Relief…At Someone Else’s Expense

What other kind of comedy is there? I mean, in the end the funniest kind of comedy is always when someone else is suffering right? “Any amount of pain, just below death, is funny,” said Jim Carrey (or Steve Carell. Damn I can’t remember.)

So, on my blogroll sits a link to a site called Overheard Everywhere. For those who might not have caught onto what Overheard Everywhere is about, it’s a site where people contribute quotes or conversations they overhear, all over the world. As Vania had once done (dude, I really need to stop leeching off you. We all know how much leeches are a bother), I’ll put up some rather funny ones:

(Warning: I don’t have a good sense of inappropriateness. So, unlike Vania, my choices might have a lot of swearing or huge sexual references. Huge. Yeah…)

Girl #1: What’s an orgasm?
Girl #2: It’s like when two people get excited during sex.
Girl #1: So, like, when they go “rawwwrr!”
Girl #2: Uh…yeah. Sure.


College guy: This must be a joke. We live in a city called “Cumming,” we have a store called “BJ’s,” and a store called “Dick’s,” and a “Siemens” water tower.


Dad to little girl: I’m going to feed you to a puppy.
Little girl: Dad! I don’t want to eat a puppy.
Dad: I’m not going to feed you a puppy, I’m going to feed you to a puppy.
Little girl: Oh, that’s okay, I like puppies.

Ten-year-old girl to passing adult man: What’s your name?
Mother, scolding: Do you have to hit on every man you see?

Asian chick: I’m going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren’t all Thai women bisexual?

Nurse #1 (during break): I hope you don’t mind, I took one of your cigarettes from your purse because I was really craving one.
Nurse #2: it’s no problem. (pause) Wait. Was it my last one?
Nurse #1: Yeah…is that a problem?
Nurse #2 (furious): Are you fucking kidding me?!
Nurse #1: Yeah, yeah, relax! I was just kidding. There’s two more in there.
Nurse #2: Oh my god. Don’t joke about things like that.
Nurse #1 (nervously): Hahaha. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared for my life just now.
Nurse #2 (seriously): And I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t thinking of places to hide your body.

Physical education teacher, demonstrating the overhead smash in badminton: So I’m gonna find myself in a bad position and Sean is just gonna unload on me.

Elderly woman: I can’t believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma’am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Whiny three-year-old: Mom! I’m hungry! I’m huuuungryyyyy!
Mother (calmly, without missing a beat): Well, you should probably shut up.

Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!

Drunk lesbian to sober girlfriend: Aw, I wanna puke but I can’t!
Sober girlfriend: I would punch you in the stomach if you wanted …that’s how much I love you.
Drunk lesbian: Awww, that’s sweet.

Drunk girl looking at digital camera: Sometimes I’m having such a good time I look Chinese.

I hope you’ve all had a laugh from that.

On a side note, you might have noticed I’ve changed the theme of my blog. It took me ages to decide on one I liked. I know that having a lot of writing on an inverse background (that is, black background, white writing) is not good and people tend to not read that, but I’ll take my chances. And besides now I have to not write too much, in case people stop reading.

And, since we’re on the topic of changes, I’ve adopted Vania and Julia’s habit of replying a comment within the comment. So if you think that I’m simply not replying you anymore, because you don’t see an increase in comment count, that’s not true; check into your comment.

Keep Cool (and stay looking Chinese)

D.F.

What a brilliant day

For those that know me, they’d know I love crisp mornings where it’s not wet (or a little damp I don’t mind) and when you breathe you can see the little clouds. Okay, so today wasn’t crisp per se, more like bone-cracking cold, but I enjoyed it because we’re at the end of August and Spring will be here soon. And Eu- would agree that sucks.

The day was brilliant because the morning was my type of morning, and everything seemed to have sailed smoothly. The train ride wasn’t too bad, Car- seemed awake and not grumpy which is a blessing, and Eu- actually let me annoy her, which is again a phenomenon. No, her being there is a phenomenon. Mondays I don’t usually get to see Eu-. Actually I said to her this afternoon on the way home (YES! SHE WAS THERE TOO!) “Beggars aren’t choosers. And I’m a beggar here. I have to beg to have just a bit of you…” and there I heard what I was saying.

April, however, was ghastly sick. When she didn’t show up, I called her at recess, and I got this female Darth Vader on the other end. All jokes aside, I was worried. April gets sick yes, but hardly ever sick enough to take a day off (unlike Dani, yah? Jokes hon) so it was very worrying. Good thing she did take today off though, some of those winds dug right in.

I hung out with Dani most of the day, though. She gave me a very warm hug when she saw me (go you) and then we just talked a lot, and she tried to kill my thumb again – a pressure point on the base of the thumb nail, and Dani would try to make you hurt by pressing it. We had a year level assembly about Yr 12, because today subject selections went in, and we reckoned it up and realized we had 6 weeks of school left before we are in our FINAL FUCKING YEAR OF SCHOOL! Okay, so for Yr 12’s this year it’s a bit more daunting but COME ON! Those who have graduated probably won’t appreciate this, and those yet to graduate probably won’t either, but the sudden departure of a structured day just seems…scary.

At lunchtime I sat with Car-, Bee, Dani and Ina (would it matter if I said “Ina”? CRUZIK!) and Bekchie came along, and we just all mucked around telling lame jokes. The only joke I remember – sadly – is Bekchie’s penis action joke. Blergh. Maybe I am intrinsically dirty-minded.

Haha that reminds me of when on Sunday in Chinese school we were discussing the 4 bases of a relationship (instead of Detailed Studies) and one friend didn’t know what second base was so Pam- made a swirly motion with two fingers raised, and still that friend didn’t understand, so Ev- made a upward jabbing motion with her fingers. Yeah, we got it now.

We had an open-book SAC in Legal but that was actually intense, despite how easy it actually was. There were many case files and we had to sort out each one. That kind of work is tedious, but not difficult.

I read back on what I wrote so far, and it all seems like I was recounting a trivial day. I aim to write something meaningful about each day, so maybe this will be that paragraph.

After getting off my chest that “emo” blog I wrote about letting go of a certain something/one, I felt a lot better today, but Bel- took it the wrong way. She thought I was ignoring her and the rest of the group, but that wasn’t it. I’ll say it now on a public forum: I wasn’t ignoring you! It just so happened that I didn’t spend much of today with you guys but I definitely am NOT ignoring you!

Oh, and that reminds me about Sonam!

Sonam got a “cute” haircut! She now has the stereotypical ASIAN FRINGE! She hates it when people comment that it’s “cute”. Which came in handy because she did something stupid today, and I counterattacked with, “well you know what? YOUR FRINGE IS CUTE!”

Touche! (I can’t be bothered finding the accent)

Sonam said that she didn’t want to continue her blog (on my blogroll) because she doesn’t want to write superficial stuff on her blog like what I did at the start of this entry. She says she can’t even be completely honest in her own personal diary let alone a public blog. And, I think she has a fair point. Having secrets down on paper (so to speak) kind of makes it official and real, almost tangible, and there are thoughts we have and things we want that should remain forever in the depths of our consciousness. Depending on how little regard you have for your own pride, some people would probably never ever write down what they really feel, or even say it out loud. The only times they say those things out loud would be to their soulmate (bah what a term, but there you go) or their best best friend.

I envy that sometimes, because it makes you more mysterious and have more to give and share. I mean look at me now, just blabbing cats and dogs, leaving absolutely nothing to talk about in real life conversation (case in point Dani today: Me “Bel- wants to start a band…” Dani “I know, I read it on your blog.” “Oh” “What’s the point of having real life conversations when you have blogs?”) so tomorrow when I complain about this to BRuCE they’ll say, “we KNOW!” (Except for Bee who DOESN’T READ THIS!)

Julia has password protected entries. I have no idea how to do it. And even if I did I don’t think I would feel comfortable with doing that. (Nothing against J) Mostly because if I protected something and only gave password to a certain few people, then those certain few people would probably just receive a personal email from me. Since I put my profile to public then…well?

Okay shit 1000 words haha. I will stop now. Today was indeed a great day. I actually felt like jumping and singing “OH WHAT A FEELING!” which is that good. Eu- seemed to have opened up a bit today as well, if not reluctantly. Oh well, we take what we get. As time goes on maybe more?

I love you all, BRuCE, Dani, April (get better) and of course Sonam’s cute fringe!

De Fluffe, Out

I will get started soon

Ok so I’m ACTUALLY sitting in English class right now, and Miss E- isn’t too impressed with me.

So, I am sitting in between April and So-. So- has discovered our blogs, and she’s reading them. She laughed when she saw how I censored her name. She said, “I wonder who that is” in the most sarcastic tone possible. Now she’s laughing because she’s read what April wrote about her. Apparently, they’re losers. Anyway, go on April’s blog to read that because I haven’t read it yet.

We just watched two boring and long and arduous videos on Clickview. One was about this Freedom Ride, where kids at this Geelong school takes a bus and goes to Uluru and they learn about the Aboriginal culture and stuff. So- and I reckoned one of the guys in the video is an idiot. I mean, there was a question about “what did you think of this town?” or something, and his genius reply was, “yeah, it was, how should I put it? Dusty?”

I have convinced (or at least I’d like to think I convinced) Th- and So- to get a WordPress.

So farΒ I have decided to do a Satire and this. Well. Satire will be fun…once I get started…thinking about it. This, on the other hand, was just a muse which I don’t see going anywhere.

Hold on, So- is trying to talk to me.

She asked me a stupid question.

Β 

Mooooooving on.

I don’t know what problem or theme I want to write about here. Apparently, you get bonus points if you include an Aboriginal problem, which is why April is now trying to change all her writing to include it. “Hey, I’ve already set mine up,” she said, but we all know she will try to get the bonus points. If she doesn’t, I will be scared. It’s true. That’s how life is. It’s kind of like, how Aboriginal people are expected not to get much out of life. Oh my god. I had a revelation. (Not)

“To blog, or not to blog,” that is what So- said.

While my satire is about an Asian family trying to assert themselves into the Australian society by acting the exact stereotypical way that most Aussies don’t, I don’t quite know how I might end it. Maybe they will realize that to belong to a society they shouldn’t try to push themselves in, but rather let the society accept them.

Perhaps my blog can be themed on the following:

I am a “student” at a smart “selective school” and in “class” we’re discussing what it means to be “Australian”. Anyway, so “I” come home and “I” write on my “blog” (aka, this blog, aha) about “my” thoughts on how it’s utterly stupid that we’re trying to define what being Australian is, when we are such a multicultural country blah. So in a sense, I am blogging as “me” as me. Well, it made sense in my head.

I think I may be able to do this. I should also stop reading aloud what I write.

Haha, I think I might do the third one as Creative, mostly because I don’t want to do a Comparative-Analysis.

Okay, Th- is trying to talk to me and I can hear sounds but I don’t quite know what she’s saying. I can hear “American, American..blah blah blah” which has nothing to do with Being Australian…

Β 

Off. I need to PEE!

De Fluffe. Out.