You make me feel like a symphony

[Hummingbird Heartbeat – Katy Perry]

I’m in one of those…okay I really should stop my musing posts like that. “I’m in one of those…”

Right now, I don’t know how I feel. I mean I knowย how I feel, obviously, but I’m not sure if I should feel such ways, or even think it, or if I should think that I shouldn’t think it.

And people are keeping secrets from me. I know whyย at least, but I don’t know what, and I’m dead curious.

I should look at this as my friends’ way of teaching me patience, a virtue I never had to lack in the first place.

I was sleep-deprived today, and took a double-shot on an empty stomach, and so spend the rest of the day on the fine line you tread when the caffeine inside you is drawing out of an already overdrawn bank. I suppose it was a good thing that I tread this line with some of my lunch group, who know me/tolerate me enough to let it slide and humor me. Otherwise that line would very soon turn angry. I would be walking the angry line. You don’t want to see me walking the angry line.

Yung Han, who may or may not mind my nicknaming him Monkey-Boy for his amazing climbing skills (and, you’ll soon learn, other fun reasons), decided today was the day he climbed a tree. Annie noticed a bunch of bananas hanging off the branch of a very un-banana tree, and Yung Han, being the smart-minded Asian that he is, decided those bananas would be wasted, and are expensive, and so he climbed the tree from which they hung, and brought it down with him – not before spending a good 20 seconds looking a bit like a stranded cat.

The bananas were the short, fat kind, dark green, smelled like fresh cucumbers, and had seeds in them.

He carried his bananas proudly to his next class.

I skipped my first tute today of the semester.

Like I said, I’m in a mood where I don’t know what my mood is, so I felt like not knowing the topic for this week seemed like a fitting companion.

Alex.

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Where did all your love go?

[Is Anybody Out There? – Maroon 5]

So starts my bid to write in here everyday, or as frequently as I possibly can.

Today, I noticed how passive-aggressive is a lot more hurtful and spiteful than massive-aggressive. In my Asian PR tute today, for some reason people seemed to want talk over me all the time. It was one of those I wait for a pause in conversation, and try to cut in, but the moment I do so someone else talks over me, so I look at them and I do that semi-wave thing like, “oh do go on” but they keep talking instead of the usual “I’m sorry you started talking first” BECAUSE I DID.

Anyway, it got to the point where Annie had to say out loud, “wow you’ll never get to speak today will you” and the teacher actually had to point at me before I could get a word in edgewise.

In other news, today was the first day in almost 3 weeks where I woke up during single digits, and didn’t have coffee, as per an agreement with Cindy (a name which I know is new here, but a friendship whose genesis I am way too embarrassed to write about. Let’s say I met her at a party, and, incidentally, I was drunk). She broke the agreement, I didn’t. So, at lunch, the caffeine deprived Alex ended up having a shouting match with a good-food deprived Clare, but then I accidentally groped her and then she pinched my face, and everything was smoothed over.

Here’s to my best efforts at writing here everyday. Thankfully tomorrow should be eventful enough to fill out a good 700 words or so.

Alex.