I Still Feel Your Breath On Me

[Haunting – Anberlin]

Today I went to an all-you-can-eat chicken wing dinner with Serena, Amelia and Linda at Crazy Wings Glen Waverley. If you do not want to read about how I gorged myself on grilled chicken, then you are welcome to exercise Ctrl+W.

We we originally supposed to go two Mondays ago (or was it last Monday? I’ve lost track of time) but Serena forgot to book. It was probably for the best, because today is one of the days during their mid-sem break, so we could eat and stay out late and it wouldn’t matter.

Let’s back things up a bit, though. First, I had work today, and afterwards I took the bus to Amelia’s house. Meg, who hadn’t seen me for almost 2 months, got really excited and farted on my lap. By the way, Meg is Amelia’s Maltese-Shitzu. Here’s a photo of her:

(Note: I’m not a photoblogger, so the photos are neither well composed, well cropped, nor would my blog theme complement it.)

MEG1She’s rather dumb but pliable, and as long as she loves you, she’ll let you do anything.

ANYWAY, I saw Meg again for the first time in two months, and she farted on my lap. I had to actually check my lap because it felt so warm and smelled so ripe, just in case it was actually poo and not a fart. It was a fart, but I wasn’t any happier.

After being in her house for a total for 20 minutes of a long overdue cuddle (and nothing more), we had to head out again to make our reservation at Crazy Wing, which was where I had come from in the first place not one hour earlier. We picked up Serena along the way, and took a bus back, and the entire trip had us sit in starving silence. Linda joined us outside the restaurant, and after some debate, we went in to start eating.

Long story short, the four of us wolfed down between us perhaps 60 chicken wings, which placed us as having eaten the amount that we paid and then some. Here is a photo of the first round which we ate, before and after.

Afterwards, we went for some ice cream, and sat inside the cinemas while eating it. Serena refused, absolutely refused, to let me have the bottom end of her cone.

After that, I went home, where I ate some fruit salad out of guilt. Currently I’m sitting in front of my computer with a stomach ready for hibernation. My mouth feels tacky and dry from all the grease and the beer which came as part of the all-you-can-eat deal, but if I drank any water I think I might slosh away down the heating vents.

Alex.

P.S. Comment below if you want to see/read more about Meg. I absolutely adore her and I love to talk about her, and both Amelia and I obsessively take photos of her, so I have plenty to share.

 

 

I’d eat a crazy wing for ya

Today was Mela and my 2 month anniversary. For our 1st month I went to her house because she got food poisoning the night before. That time we cuddled up and watched movies under her blankets. Today we went out.

She had work in the afternoon, so I caught up with her in the last hour of her shift. I watched her stand behind the counter, not yet in her uniform, putting through game returns and trades. She was so small next to her two large manly coworkers.

We had a quick (McDonalds) lunch – it was McHappy Day we felt obliged – and took the bus up to Chadstone. We were both in very loving moods – after all, the past 2 months felt like a breezy dream, surely the next few would be just as easy!

We went perfume shopping, as she’d already bought me the entire series of Slam Dunk on DVD, and she really wants to try a new fragrance. We went around Myers spraying many many different bottles to find the perfect one, and after a good half hour or so, it was a toss up between DKNY Pure or DKNY Gold Delicious. We sprayed both on her neck, one on each side, and after letting it soak in for a while, we realized that Mela’s natural scent masked DKNY Pure too much. She seemed very happy with her present, and I was glad that at least this month I don’t have to worry about failing as a good girlfriend.

(Also, I know how our presents reflect the man/woman dichotomy. I did come across this Ralph Lauren one which I REALLY liked but it made her gag and feel nauseous so.)

Afterwards, we were going to eat at this Chinese restaurant, but the center was closing, so we had to go to Glenny. On the bus back, I remembered that Crazy Wing should have opened at Glenny, so instead of going to La Porchetta as we’d originally planned (because she’s never been and, it seems, still hasn’t been), we went to Crazy Wing. She was brave enough to want to eat two Crazy Wings by herself, but it seemed that the Glen Waverley branch uses much spicier mix than the one in the city, because she started tearing up badly, and when I tried to eat some for her, I was knocked over too.

I was so badly affected, in fact, that about 10 minutes after eating that, I started getting serious stomach cramps. I had to sit there and look like I was dying for about 10 more minutes, making Mela very worried about me. In the end we shook on it – we will never have Crazy Wing again, we’d only order their Spicy Honey or maybe a degree or two hotter, but never that. I also vowed to ban my dad from ever trying it – he has high blood pressure, and me eating it tonight made my ears pop with all the increased blood flow. It was bad.

Finally, after settling my stomach, we slowly walked back to the bus stop. On the bus, I sat by the window and saw her still waiting for her bus, so we texted each other from maybe 2 meters away. Ahhh the disgusting that is us.

Happy 2 months baby!

Alex.

Dude, She’s Amazing

[That Girl – McFly]

This won’t be a long post. I went out with D.P. today, and then crashed Jen’s house.

D.P. took all my jokes rather well. I was basically making fun of her hair. There was one, which I particularly liked, and it went, “your hair is so big that when the wind blows, you actually slow down because they’re like parachutes.”

Kerchow.

Anyway, she went to Sab-‘s place at around 1, so I went to Jen’s (it is so cool to have MSN on my phone, because I hopped on, saw her, asked if I could go over and within 20 minutes I was in Jen’s kitchen). One of the main reasons I wanted to go to Jen’s was because I haven’t seen her in about a week (which is how long I haven’t been out of the house. It’s not a confession I’m proud of. But the week passed quite quickly after Sorrento), and also I know Jen will give me free lunch. I saved about 10 bucks, man!

Jen cooked some pasta, and made chicken soup with chicken meat balls and some beans. It was one of the best soup-things I’ve had in a long long long time. I think it’s because it tastes like good-at-cooking. Jen said it tastes like me. I was worried.

During lunch I was looking around Jen’s living room and I was startled when I thought I saw a goldfish the size of my fist (I know my hands are small but you must appreciate, still, how big the fish would have been). I started saying, “Woah dude you have the biggest goldfish!” when I realized that actually it was a normal sized goldfish, magnified by the water and the glass bowl. MLIA? Yes.

Played Mario Kart forΒ  a while, refreshing my dislike for Wii Mario Kart. I’m too used to the DS, and Wii is too sensitive, even when I picked Bowser for his weight, and used manual drift. Then Ash came over, and I realized it was 3:30, and I should leave. It started pouring but I dealt with it. I let my hair get a bit wet, hoping that maybe I look good with slightly wet hair. I don’t think I did, though.

Thanks, Jen, for letting me randomly drop by. And happy birthday Meghanism!

Alex.

Chicken, cream, sticker

Last night we got a phone call from a family friend. They raised a couple of chickens as pets except one of them turned out to be a rooster (cos you can’t tell when they’re chickies). The rooster’s crowing a lot which is pissing their neighbors off, so we got a call from the guy, who was somehow under the impression that my dad can “do something about it”.

Well, he can’t, but we got the rooster anyway.

So last night the rooster slept in the cardboard box it came in, because it would squeeze under the gate otherwise or something, and run off, and there’s one rooster gone to waste. We fed it some rice grains and water this morning, and put it in the shade so that we don’t get roast chicken before it’s plucked, if you get me.

Anyway, dad can’t actually do anything about it, which is a dead pity because I’d wanted to see him try, and take pictures. That’s the difference between Carmaine and me, I suppose. Carmaine takes pictures of nice events, pretty people and clothes and scenery and momentos, and I like taking pictures of things being “taken care of”.

So dad called up another family friend who actually does know how to “take care” of a chicken. Its going over to their place in about an hour. I took a look at the rooster this morning (it had a sort of confused crow this morning. Sort of like “cock-a-doodle? Cock-a-wtf-is-this-box?”) and it was really really really robust rooster, shiny feathers and strong round body. Pity we won’t get to eat it. I was actually really looking forward to having it. Carmaine looked at me funny when I mentioned that thought.

Tomorrow is Julia’s birthday, so today at recess we had cake for her (and sang happy birthday AGAIN heaps of times AGAIN) and there was this really really large and (stealing Carmaine’s phrase here) orgasmically delicious cake. We couldn’t finish it all, so we brought it into Form. Theresa then proceeded to pretend to come hug me but instead wipe cream on my nose.

And finally, I came across Carmaine going to her locker during her Chem double, and so we chatted a bit, and as she turned around to her locker, I saw a sticker on her back and couldn’t stop laughing. Being a good friend, I ripped it off for her. It said “LOSER”.

And those were the 3 fun things that happened today.

Alex.

P.S. I went to see Serpless. She wasn’t there. I won’t go to Baldock until I’ve seen Serpless. Seems logical that way. I’m taking control again, Bianca. Sort of.

PURE AWESOMENESS!

Today, I finally went out with some of the people in my class again; I hadn’t really hung out with them outside of school for most of the year, because everytime there was an opportunity I was usually with BRuCE.

The ones who were there were Jen (aka “My Property”), April, Sonam, Tiff, Bel and me.

We all met up under the clock – Jen took it literally and sat EXACTLY under the clock – and Bel was late. When she arrived we went for an early lunch at Nando’s (despite April being vegetarian and saying she wasn’t hungry. I decided to take “I’m not hungry” as “I am hungry” and “I’m hungry” as “I’m REALLY hungry”). We got 2 chickens and 2 “seriously large” chips and April got a vege pita (which I forgot to order at first). In the end Tiff and Sonam let the team down and didn’t eat much, so there was about a quarter of a chicken left and Bel said she’d eat it but she ate slowly, so we’d have to wait. Then, she suggested that she could eat faster if while she was still finishing her 2nd last piece of chicken, both Tiff and Sonam cut the last quarter up into bite-sized pieces. So they did. But then Bel said that she had a habit of having a ratio of 1:1, chips and chicken. So she’d have to cut up her chips and eat it with the bite-sized chicken. Jen then proceeded to cut up the chips into tiny little bite-sized pieces, and with the other fork I stabbed together some chicken and chips and tried to feed Bel, aeroplane style, but she wouldn’t let me. There were 4 girls who sat down next to us when I’d gone to order April’s pita, about 5 minutes after our food had arrived (I’d forgotten to do it in the initial order) and they were finished 10 minutes before we did.

So, yeah, we ate slowly, and I wonder what would’ve happened if Vania had been there (hey Vania, how DID you piss off your mom?).

After Nando’s we went to Strike Bowling (hooray for black light, so that all the white we wore glowed!) and we all used pseudonyms except for April, who was April. So Tiff was A.I., Sonam Tsunami, Jen E.T., I took Lex Luthor (ha) and Bel was “PURE AWESOMENESS”.

I suck at bowling! I really need to go a few more times with different people so that I can be a decent competitor. Even with gutter guards I sucked baaaaaad! Pure A won, and April beat Tsunami by two points.

And it wasn’t too expensive either, which was a bonus.

During bowling, the venue played a few songs, and of course Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” came on. I started singing loudly to it, and some guys in the next lane started singing as well. Then, one of them got a strike and yelled “YEEEEAHHH!” in a manly grunt, Leyton Hewitt style, and I promised that if I did something really awesome, I’d grunt yell as well. Well I never did get an awesome shot after my initial strike, so I guess I didn’t. I still yelled a lot, though. Like whenever it was Bel’s turn, I would scream “PURE AWESOMENESS!” Kung Fu Panda style.

After bowling, where Jen’s top half was fluro blue, we decided to go to Bel’s place to play Singstar. Sonam and Tiff left early, and so did April to go work. The three of us remaining went to Bel’s very bachelor-like place, and we played a few songs but Jen had a sore throat and was screeching a bit (screeching in tune, but still screeching) and Bel managed to ace the game mumbling the whole thing off.

I was late going home (and on the tram back to Flinders Jen tried to play the travelling game on me, where she’d lick her finger and wipe it on my face) and mom wasn’t happy. We ate out, because dad is at an office party, and as we were leaving the carpark a dickhead blocked the way trying to get a parking spot, and mom beeped him. She shouted “this is a traffic area!” which it was, seeing as it was at the turn, and he screamed back “this is parking!” which again, it kind of was as well. Then mom shouted at him to move but he just shouted back “merry Christmas!” in a sarcastic voice, which I thought was kind of stretching the useage of that remark a bit, seeing as we’ve just entered the Christmas week, mom half-shouted “You don’t have a merry Christmas”, and then finally the dickhead got out of the way.

It was hilarious.

I missed today’s How I Met Your Mother.

On Monday Jen organized for us to go to her place, because Julia would be back by then, and the party is in honor of her (was I not meant to say that?).

Carmaine left today.

And I am very tired.

De Fluffe, Out.

Twelve.

Even Better Than Mama

For the past few days I’ve been more actively learning to cook/cooking dinner for my family. My aim is to get good enough by the end of the summer to be able to prepare a full meal for 3 (that being my family). Actually, my aim is to get good enough so that Carmaine, Bee and Eunice will respect me because i can finally cook. I don’t quite like it when Carmaine teases me about not being able to cook (but she sure was proud when she taught me how to mash potatoes!) so I want to make her prouder now with more skills.

Today dad taught me how to stir fry chicken with onions and carrots. It’s not hard funny enough, all you got to do is prepare the ingredients, chuck in carrots and onion first, stir it around, then chuck in the chicken, stir that around, cover, then when everything is cooked, you serve it. Why did I ever think cooking is hard? (Haha that’s probably because I’m learning how to stir fry stuff.) Actually, I find baking incredibly confusing. For example, if you do things the wrong way, a souffle will collapse. I think, why?! Why make people make something that will unmake itself? So I leave all the baking intricacies to Bianca.

When I was peeling the carrot, and chopping the onions today (got a bit emotional) I kept on making it a Cooking Mama game. So when I chopped the onion in half exactly, I gave myself a “Gu-ret! Ee-ven bettah dan Mama” or when I couldn’t cut through the chicken (dad needs sharper knives) I gave myself a “yooh gaib it yor bes’ eh-fert.”

If life was a game…at the rate I play RPGs (something I had to explain to BRuCE as Role Playing Games. They in turn decided that The World Ends With You sounds lame) I’d need a constant save button or else I’d die just like that.

De Fluffe, Out.