Go Ahead And Lower It Down

[Hey Brittany! – Forever The Sickest Kids]

Yesterday I caught up with Angie and Si-, the latter of whom I haven’t seen since the end of 2008. Man a year sure goes fast.

I dressed up…well Angie sort of yelled at me on Saturday for not owning a single dress:

A: “How have you LIVED until now?!”

Me: “Happily and comfortably.”

So I went and found something to wear and it was warm yesterday so I had to deal with it. I showed Angie what I was wearing (I felt like getting my mother’s consent but well, if it made her happy) and she said yes to this:

I messed up the time table reading skills, and looked at bus and train times for Monday – Friday, when it is Saturday times for this week. It resulted in me standing at the bus stop for about 40 minutes, but luckily I found some shade, and a new band to listen to.

Took the train up to Melbourne Central, and having given myself plenty of time to travel I was on time despite being later than I anticipated. Watched the tourists film the clock singing (one of those days I will have listened to it too many times). Then surprise surprise Dom showed up at Melbourne Central so I made him stand with me for a while before Si- and Angie arrived.

Said bye to the Badger-boy, and we went with Angie’s friends Ruby and Simon to Madame Brussels.

The chairs on the very right of the picture, that was the ones we sat in.

Ruby and Simon had to leave pretty early, so it left Si-, Angie and myself just having “girl talks” (oh yes, I was in a girl talk. It was new).

There were many interesting quotes that came out of that girl talk, such as:

S: “And he’s pretty tank. He does this fighting thing. What’s it called? UFO? No…”

We shared a jug of Moscow Mule and Singapore Slingshot, and then felt like some Hungry Jack’s. (I BROKE MY NO FAST FOOD THING! I was lasting since Oct 31st…let’s just not count this, right?) Then we went to Cookie, which is the rooftop bar above the Secret Bookshop where I got Katherine her present.

Clearly that wasn’t the time we went but you get the idea that…it’s on a rooftop. They got a Gin and Tonic and I got a Vodka Apple after April introduced me to it.

After Cookie, when we had about 10 minutes left until 10 pm, so we rushed to the Harajuku Crepe store and I got a Tiramisu deluxe. We went to the trains, and I saw that my train was in 1 minute, so I hauled ass only to miss the train by 5 secs. If I had 5 more seconds I’d be on that train. Instead I waited with Si- for about 15 minutes until her train arrived, and then went down to take my train.

On the way home there was this weird Asian lady in front of me doing a bad pretense of taking a picture of herself. Call me self-important but I’m pretty sure she was taking a picture of me. And then her phone rang and it was the strings theme from Psycho. I was texting Jenny about how I was on a train (I don’t get why people think that the Glen Waverley line is scary at night. As long as everyone’s sober Glen Waverley is safe as) and she got worried about the lady and the lateness, so she told me to be careful. I laughed and told her I’m fine, and at that exact moment, around Mount Waverley, the train shuddered really badly and there was a loud crunching sound. I thought to myself, “Oh fuck you karma don’t try to prove me wrong now…”

I couldn’t fall asleep for ages, and then just as I was drifting off at around 2 am my phone sounded, and it was Mani telling me I forgot to sign out of MSN on my phone.

Gained consciousness at around 8 when Bianca emailed me which made my phone go off, and I was going to reply on the spot, but I rolled over and the next thing I knew it was 11:30.

Alex.

P.S. Murder, She Wrote, is really funny.

Suit up and grab me some boobage

On Wednesday it was dress signing day. And after that was the valedictory.

I couldn’t find my school dress so I nicked a huge bunch of papers from the library printer and got everyone to sign on them, the papers, instead. Thus I didn’t have any Sharpie marks on my skin during Valedictory (here’s looking at you, Julia), and people wrote nicer messages. I still haven’t had the time to sit down and read them yet. (AND CARMAINE! You never got to write a message.)

I signed Spanna’s right boob as a joke from the previous day. In the previous day I took a picture of Spanna’s generous cleavage and told her I’d tag one boob as me and one boob as Julia. Which is why I signed the boob that is me on Wednesday.

When I got to school, I noticed that Dani’s left boob got taken by Andrew already (‘cos that’s where her heart is. Wtflux? Don’t ask.) so I got her right boob with “this is mine mine mine mine mine – Alex”.

That started my mission to get as many right boobs as I can with “this is mine mine mine mine (the number of ‘mine’ depended on the size of said breast) – Alex” as possible. I actually managed about maybe over 100? Hehe.

When the boob was taken, I took the crotch.

When both was taken, as in the case of Anto-, I took the bum. That one was actually surprisingly embarrassing.

During recess, someone boarded up all the windows in the common room and we had a rave party. Loud music, people jumping. It was fantastic.

After Legal (during which we did no work but sat around and were happy and took pictures and hugged Nik-) and our last class ever, Dani, Zara and I went to Dani’s place to get ready for Valedictory. I played with the new kittens (these are much smaller than the ones from last year) and they gave me confused looks. (By the way, I tried uploading photos but it wasn’t working.)

Got all my clothes ready, and Andrew came home, changed, and we were off to the Crown Palladium.

When we had finger food (well, it was MacRob, people were fighting for food) we camwhored and everyone remarked how tall the heels were and so forth. Met Spanna’s mom, and a man who I thought was her dad but turned out to be Chez’s dad. That was bloody embarrassing and not my fault.

Sat down for speeches. Trying to fast forward this because I haven’t had breakfast yet…

Had some great speeches from everyone, and it was quite funny when one half of the room’s lights began to turn on and off. Frank and Caro- performed their song and it was quite heartbreaking and caused quite a few tears when Frank started crying halfway through.

Then came the time for everyone to go up and get their stuff. When I went up I called out Clarkey’s name and gave him a high five. It was awesome (despite my mom telling me that I’m an idiot for it later on. I’m not going into that, by the way…)

After Valedictory BRuCE, Fel and our respective parents and the odd sibling or two went to dinner at The Pub at Crown (I finally went to the place SonJ had so much trouble explaining before, she said “the place with tables and chairs and music and people”). I ordered a steak and chips, and it was tough but very delicious.

Went home. That was a disaster. For the 2nd time in a row we had to catch a replacement bus because they were obviously doing something to the tracks at night. Mom felt too sick to stay on the bus and demanded to get out at MT WAVERLEY where we stood around at 11:40 at night in the cold. Couldn’t get a taxi, so had to call a family friend to come up. Parents argued for so long as to who to call that by the time the family friend came up to Mount Waverley from Wheelers Hill, the next replacement bus had come and gone and it was past midnight.

Got driven back to the Glen where our car was parked, and mom proceeded not to drive and just sit there for the next 2o minutes. Finally got home, and had to do all the other things like shower and clear memory space on my camera, so that when I went to sleep it was 1 am, and I was waiting for a 5 am wake up to get to school for early breakfast.

Now you understand why I was tired.

Otherwise, though, the night was incredibly fun, as was the day.

The next installment, which is our “muck up” day, will be written about tonight.

Alex.

Body Like An Hourglass

Last night was the MacRob Yr 12 Formal 2009.

I didn’t go.

What I’m going to write about is what happened BEFORE the formal, seeing as that’s all I attended.

Well, it was expected that no one would really be paying any attention in class, so Period 2 Methods didn’t even happen. There were many many Year 12s in the Common Room that period talking about the formal and hair and makeup and nail polish and strapless bras. I sat there and looked mortified. No one noticed. Phew.

Period 3 and 4 told me that I wasn’t actually on Common Room duty and therefore I played Tetris all through the first period (even beat my own personal score) and most of the second period. Jen and I went off with the bag  we later referred to as “Carmaine’s Baby” and then “The Fat Baby” at the end of Period 4.

We were at the lights outside of school, swinging Carmaine’s Fat Baby when the mother appeared. A rowdy custody battle ensued, with the aftermath being that I had to lug the CFB around the CBD.

Bid adieu to the mother at Flinders, where she was off to make herself look like a woman and we were off to do our own stuff.

Went to Coles where Jen, having lost the custody battle with me, continued arguing with me over which bread was tastier, and which Coles cake was more thoughtful. I’d personally thought the cake with Smarties on it would naturally be more pensive. We decided on that one.

Trammed to Collins/Spencer St, where Bel now resides. No one was home so we snuck in when someone came out. Sat in foyer while Jen touched her hair a lot. An- arrived to take us up. Grabbed 2 Cruiser (sp?) four-packs. I had to carry them seeing as if Jen carries them it’s illegal.

Went up Williams to Radisson, where the rest of BRuCE was going to spend the night. Gave CFB to Eunice, and headed off to Jen’s abode.

Managed to squeeze in a dozen “are we there yet?” in the 20 minute tram ride.

Arrived at Jen’s, and the two of us started on the food. I made a fairy-bread sculpture, it possibly being the most feminine thing I’ve ever done. No one ended up eating it.

Jen cut up some carrots and cucumbers, and then proceeded to hide in the bathroom while she also began to make herself appear more womanly. Taylor Swift played on the radio. I sobbed.

SonJ arrived and in a flurry of “Hi how are you ohmygosh where’s Jen” she blew into the bathroom. I did not see her until 2 hours later.

Started to blow up balloons. Failed at tying them up. Jen’s dad had to teach me twice. Started on a Cruiser. After a few gulps I decided to hell with it and sacrificed considerable blood flow to my fingertips and made 13 balloons. I tasted Latex everytime I swallowed. No, shut up. That is NOT what she said.

People continued to arrive. Ray, for one. Then Luke. The two guys helped me put up streamers.

Sonam and Tiff and Annie and all the rest of them arrived, and Jen’s bedroom became a warzone of hairspray, straighteners and Hollywood tape.

Ray, Luke and I spelt out “Happy B’Day Bel” on the window.

Awful noises started to echo from the warzone. Cries of help and sounds of mascara-ing sent chills down my spine.

Played Heart and Soul on the piano until Jen told me to shut up…for the 10th time. I suppose I should’ve pointed out that I wasn’t talking.

At 5 Bel and Julia arrived. Note I didn’t say Julinda. We had to stall Bel for a bit, but it didn’t work. So when Bel pressed the doorBel, we all ran and hid behind couches. We thought, gosh we’re smart, she’ll never see this coming.

At the door, SonJ said, “Are you ready? 3. 2. 1.”

The element of surprise was thus counted down and disappeared.

Why did I use “Body Like An Hourglass”? Because Julia figure, to paraphrase Eve, “was like an hourglass”. Indeed everyone looked magnificent, and indeed Sonam and Tiff ended up looking similar, as they do all the other times.

Carmaine and Charlie continued to not being there.

The limo arrived. It was long. Well no shit. And Blue. Ah that one’s new. People started running around with a definite hint of headless chicken likeness. Well, I should specify the girls were doing that. The guys sat at the kitchen table in a more or less statue fashion.

I played “Somewhere Only We Know” on the guitar for a bit.

Then came the photos.

Oh the photos.

Oh the stress of said photos.

Everyone had a camera. Considering that “everyone” consisted of more than 2 people, and I have exactly 2 hands, I became a hanger for cameras as pictures were demanded.

20 minutes later pictures were actually taken. People had stayed in one spot long enough.

C+C finally became there, just in time for taller C to use the bathroom. People lined up and “THREE! TWO! ONE!” the flash went off, forever immortalizing the group of mature looking guys, and slightly hysterical looking but nonetheless BEAUTIFUL girls.

Everyone posed in front of the limo. More pictures were taken. I felt a bit pimpish having my photo taken with many different people. I felt a lot short next to the heeled Carmaine.

Took a ride with Carmaine’s parents home, saving me a cold public transportation journey. Arrived home in time to eat a quick dinner and watch ‘Til Death. Then watched The Big Bang Theory until bed time, which was around when the Formal was ending.

And so I end. I have decided to hell with fully structured sentences. They’re boring anyway.

Alex.