There’s a line, and that’s where you crossed it to chop off a leg

Strange but intriguing conversation at lunch today with the lunch group.

While talking about the preferences on of the guys have for girls, the conversation turned onto what my friend Clem likes in girls. The initial questions were tame: shy or outgoing? Gamer or non? But then Danny had to make things weird, as he ALWAYS does, but asking “so would you mind if she had no legs or no arms?”

For the record, Mela prefers no legs, because she “I dunno, likes arms”.

Alex.

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We could do more than just dream

[We Owe This To Ourselves – Anberlin]

Going to see Anberlin again on Monday! So hopefully huge blog post about that again!

Last night stayed up until 4:30 talking to Amelia on the phone. I have no idea how we spent that much time, but I think giggling hysterically while quoting from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged Series helped pass some time.

That girl knows everything.

Cindy is at Manifest, and she’s getting me this really cool Totoro beanie which are also gloves.

(That’s Cindy, by the way.)

She called me up at 11, and I was still sleeping, and she was high on energy drink, so it was one of those trying to keep up with her craziness conversations where she asked me a bunch of questions and I grunted.

So, at the moment, trying to stir myself into working mode to do a research paper due in 8 days.

It is NOT coming along.

Let’s hope Stressed Alex can kick in soon so I can get stuff done and feel good.

Lazy Alex.

Do I get a golden chariot, or float through the ceiling?

[Jesus Christ – Brand New]

Today was a pretty long day, I suppose, made longer mostly by fatigue.

It’s strange, I was actually rather energetic this morning when I woke up – in the sense that I remembered my entire bus ride.

I came up with a cliche but sound plot outline as a writing exercise in my Screenwriting workshop. It had something to do with Hell being the good guys.

And then, after my workshop, some time between finishing lunch with Pu- and seeing Clare, I lost all my energy.

But I tried to muster up some effort to get excited about seeing Brendan, Cindy and Amelia later on, so I stirred both Clare and I into a sort of…well not frenzy, but we definitely got our energy on.

It sort of surprised us both when around 5 people greeted us at Melbourne Central, and I didn’t know a few of them, and well, Clare didn’t know any of them. I felt a bit guilty that I dragged her to meet a bunch of new people on a day when she was feeling emotionally shonky, but…well I got the feeling that it went over alright, because I was there after all – and that sounded very humble, I know.

After tagging along to Moe-mall, the place where the others had to get their costumes for Manifest the coming…soon, (and after Clare and I, feeling immensely out of place, simply sang along to another store which was playing Jason Mraz and Bruno Mars,) we went to Red Silks for to eat dinner. I was surprised that Clare hasn’t been there many times, but I suppose I do go there too often.

In the end, Clare and Brendan finished off all the unwanted food – Brendan pretty much got a free meal out of the left-overs. We strolled to Passionflower where I had my first ice-cream from their place, and I may have chosen the wrong flavor to voyage into their store, because I ordered Lime Sorbet, and it was rather bitter, but hey I enjoyed it.

We sat at Fed Square for a while – I really need to find a new place to hang out after meals but before trains, because it’s not the best place to hang out weather wise, even though the atmosphere is quite nice, and there’s a very large TV screen. After that, Amelia and I took the train home.

She told me why she was late today. Apparently, without revealing too much, a series of events saw her get on her bus without a Myki, so when she walked past the scanner, she said, in a high pitched tone, “beep!” and then shuffled into her seat. I found that HIGHLY amusing.

Had to take the Rowville bus with her because I didn’t want her to be alone at the bus stop at night. Basically let 3 of my buses drive right past. Well, the first one arrived and, seeing that it had 10 minutes to go, I asked the driver “oh are you staying here for the next 10 minutes?” Bitch smiled and nodded, and then drove off.

Alex.

I’m In Lesbians With You

…Oh crap I said Lesbians.

Anyway, today I was meant to see Tomorrow, When The War Began, but it being not Tightarse Tuesday rates and me being Asian, we decided to see Scott Pilgrim Vs the World instead. I gotta say, probably the best alternative choice ever made.

REALLY. YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT! Everyone says that it’s all “wtf it looks like a kid’s game” but YEAH! THAT’S THE POINT! The movie is all about how a young male sees the world. I mean, come on, have you ever wondered what it would be like if Pokemon was real? Those thoughts are exactly what the movie is all about. Music, games, action movies, anime, TV shows…this movie sees it all. Yes, it’s mostly computer done – special effects, the KAPOWs, and of course the action. But so? I mean is James Bond really THAT realistic?

That’s rather interesting and convenient, actually, because in my CMEL tute today we were just talking about how Hollywood has taken over all the other movies, and a lot of movies have aspects of Hollywood cinema. For example, action movies are just bam-bam-bam, and it works because action is action and anyone can understand it without subtitles. We watched this clip of the car chase in Quantum of Solace, and discussed how a lot of the times it’s just quickly edited scenes of action and stuff going on, with minimal plot revelation.

Then we talked about how a lot of movies are marketed like crazy, because they’re marketable, and a lot of movies aren’t marketed as much but get popular by word of mouth.

Scott Pilgrim is both. AND it is pushing special effects and crazy fight scenes and suspending our disbelief to the point where it is obvious they’re poking fun at all the massive Hollywood action.

It, apart from poking fun at itself on a meta level, is also a fantastically smart movie. Not everyone can bring together instantaneously recognizable popular culture references in a fluid narrative – and, oh shock the narrative is simple and predictable. So what? Most of the fun is in the journey taken, the gags, the fights, the deliveries of dialogue – in such a way that it keeps the viewer hooked for what’s going to happen next DESPITE knowing what’s going to inevitably happen.

The only thing that made me slightly doubt the movie was that Scott would ditch his adorable Chinese girlfriend Knives in the first place. I mean, yes, Ramona is gorgeous, but KNIVES! (Yes her name is Knives…it became a rather fitting name near the end.)

Go on, see it. And then own it. And then download the soundtrack which I will do at my next available break. Hate it if you want, but I think this movie just made it into my answer when people ask “what movies do you like”?

Alex.

P.S., this blog got linked in my uni assignment, since it is relevant. I wrote it, I swear!

P.P.S. I nearly forgot! I saw this ages ago but finding it for a friend reminded me. The Vibarating Mascara Without Batteries. Good exercise for face also.

He Doesn’t Want To Read The Message

[From Yesterday – 30 Seconds To Mars]

Today I was at the Biomed library with Mandy and co (they so affectionately refer to it as The Brothel). Annie and I were taking advantage of a rather noisy conversation next to us to discuss with Mandy a matter that was rather private. But we drew attention to ourselves and Belle (newly made friend) asked us what was “unbelievable” as Mandy kept repeating.

I didn’t want to say anything, and, seeing an opportunity to make reference to a fantastic sitcom, I replied, “we were just saying how Mandy has a third nipple.”

(In case you missed it too, this reference was to FRIENDS, and how Chandler has a third nipple.)

Well, suffice to say, the secret conversation we were trying to have didn’t get leaked, but instead the nipple kept popping up.

(I saw what I did there.)

I was disappointed that not a single person noticed the FRIENDS reference, though.

Alex.

Whenever I’m Alone With You

[Love Song – Anberlin] (They covered it, I think, so it’s not their original, but I don’t know whose it is…)

I just discovered (yes, just) and fell and in love with the site My Mom is a Fob.

Bad timing, seeing as my assignments are coming in soon.

Anyway, this encapsulates Asian parents:

I got this email from my mom right after Mother’s Day. Some stuff had happened that weekend that got to me, and I guess my mom could sense it. I think, this is more sentimental than anything, but wanted to share (even if was from a while back ago).

I like letting you know, every time when you have any problem or difficulty, your are not alone, you could call us any time or just come home and talk with us, some time life is up and down, happiness and sadness, we are always behind you, supporting you, that is what family value stand for…

Also, yesterday in Angie’s wedding I almost could not recognized you, because your make up. In Korean drama, they always have a saying ” Woman’ heavy make up made them fake”. So, try to learn natural make up matter, because that will show our truly faces, and men like that for sure, especially Asian men (you can ask Dad for that). The last thing I like to mention is Health- I change my life style, try to sleep early during the night, when you work whole day in front of computer, save your eye, and give your eye and liver a rest time. That will help your skin too. Next weekend if you like to have a hot pot together at home let me know I will prepare for it. Dad and I, we like you have a happy, healthy, and a strong faith life, always PRAY and THANK to GOD. Love MOM

Basically, “we love you, okay, now, you need to fix yourself”. It was like when Poh came 2nd on the 1st season of Masterchef Australia, and the judge asked her mom whether she’s proud of her daughter cooking so well in Malay cuisines, and her mom said, “yes, but she chopped and changed a lot of things”. Asian parents will NEVER stop at “yes we’re proud” there is ALWAYS a “but they screwed up”.

More:

My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.

“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”

I was on my way to my internship via subway in Korea one summer and this 60-year old man decided he wanted to hit on me. He came over and told me he would give me his name card and after I rejected him I texted my mom to tell her what happened. Her reply: “psycho like that need to get their penis thin sliced. mommy good at cooking and chopping, i do it for you. take his name card.”

It snowed a ton in New York not too long ago, and my mom, who is from California had this to say on me making a snowman, via her new favorite form of communication, text message:

Mom: Exciting! Try to make a female snowman!
Me: Will do mom
Mom: Take a picture of it! Make sure the cup size is 40 DDD!

My mom just learned to text the day before:
Dear d Sure i wil meet you at time 7p square soon no 7p it is a tzphgg typing earror soppps Oh i give up

Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it’ll take them longer and you can escape.

So my mom is a VERY protective mother. This is what happened after she watched a 60 minutes special on Online Predators. I’m watching a Video Blog on Youtube…

Mom:
Who is that guy?
Me: I don’t know
Mom: Why is he talking to you??
Me: It’s a video…
Mom (at the computer): GO AWAY, MY DAUGHTER DON’T WANT TO MEET UP AND TALK TO YOU

“My parents’ intent was to name me Stephanie.”

-Staphanie Tung

Dear Felicia:

How are you doing? Back to school always exited, right ? say hi to your lovely girl freinds and all those sticky boys for me lol ,ahhh, i like this word lol, it looks like somebody hands a ball to me. Capital LOL likes people are kicking a ball. Lol like a ball find a hole to slip away from cage (this is what i feel when i drove you to airport), lOl looks like I am squeezing Chang Yi’s cheeks. lOL Ahhh…….. I am leaning on a comfortable cushion…….ahhhhhhh…………………….

Love,
Mom

Mom: Why is Eminem controversial? Is it because he’s a white guy who acts black?
Me: I dunno. Some people think he’s misogynistic.
Mom: What? [looking really offended]
Me: It means that he hates women.
Mom: [still offended] Why would you say something like that to me?
Me: Misogynistic? I know it’s not a common word, but I explained what it meant.
Mom: Why would you say in front of your mother that he’s… [flustered] massaging his d*ck?!?!?

Okay that’s it for today. GO ON THE SITE!

Alex.