The Life and Laughs: Revenge of the Laugh

Oh, subscribers, are you still there? Are you surprised to see me again?

As of this moment, I have finished all the assessment tasks for my university degree. There is the small matter of handing it in and, oh, passing, but I have confidence that I will receive a high enough score to get me the certificate.

So, where I left you last.

I was about to start my two-week internship, which turned out really interesting. I found out lots about myself in those two weeks – how quickly I can really write, how to self-edit, how to take criticism (although, the sub-editor who sat me down and went through my work was very nice about correcting my mistakes, much nicer than my actual class teacher), how to make phone-interviews.

I also learned how much I hate journalism. Well, not all aspects of journalism – but I wasn’t a fan of slow moving, methodical get-the-interview-and-write-it journalism. I’m not knocking it, I just guess it wasn’t for me!

I also did some tough interviews for a writing class, since the assessments needed us to go interview complete strangers. I interviewed two research professors, and a few of my friends. For one article, I chose to interview April and Bianca about their personal lives. They were toughies, I had to fight to keep tears back with Bianca.

Overall, I did pretty well in Semester 1. Of course, I knew Semester 2 was going to be a bitch and half. But before that…

I went on the SAMA camp. SAMA is the Monash Anime club, which Mela is a part of. It was in the middle of July, so it was cold and wet – and the place we went to seemed to be creating mud out of every crevice. As the club is a nerdy one, most nights were spent playing Mahjong, watching anime or horror movies. The last night, however, saw everyone wanting to get rid of all the alcohol that was brought. Much drunkeness and throwing-upness occurred. Cindy drank til she was a bit beyond tipsy (we thought she was outright drunk, but a few weeks later we saw a video of her being actually drunk and talking in an infectious British accent). And my girl? Well, she went much beyond drunk – bashed through hilarious drunk by hugging everyone and telling them she loves them, and then crashed into bad drunk and threw up what smelled like pure alcohol. The next day, suffice to say, she suffered.

There was also the SAMA Social Night, which happened in August. I was forced to go, and went through a horrible process of trying to find clothing for the formal event. In the end, I put together some dodgy looking pieces, fixed with the bowtie that Amelia gave me for my birthday (oh, did I mention? I turned 21! I got loads of presents, but Amelia’s was the best: the bowtie, a great scarf, and a crap-load of Nerds lollies). I ended up winning best-dressed male. Clare, who went, could not stop smiling at me when I was up on stage. If I could have melted with embarrassment, I would have.

Semester 2 was tougher. I had 3 subjects again, but all requiring research, and none were creative. One was a whipping 8000 word mini-thesis. Amusingly, the other two subjects overlapped each other almost completely in content, simply from different ends. And so the first six weeks saw me learn a whole load of new information, and the last six saw me revise it in the other class.

Annie and I worked very hard, for once…and the last time. We holed ourselves up in the library every day we were in (which was, granted, around twice a week), for a whole month, and worked our asses off while we were at home. We did up to 20,000 words of research for a 2,500 essay, and sure we laughed about it later, but at that time, it was horrible. I once wrote so hard that my arms cramped, something I haven’t really encountered since VCE exams.

I also got a new laptop! A Samsung Series 9, which is as light as an eyelash and about as thick. It’s a beautiful machine, and I want so much to keep it beautiful I haven’t taken off the plastic cover on the front and on the wrist-rest.

Amelia bought me tickets for and attended with me Maroon 5. It was a shocking concert – although there wasn’t a mosh, and we sat further back than we thought we would, they made up for it with their relentless energy. I did not stop dancing the whole time they were on stage, and neither did they! Jen and I shouted ourselves hoarse (we both wanted to go, and dragged our other halves with us).

Amelia turned 20, and I took her to the Conservatory at Crown. It was a bad start, because I got lost and was late to the restaurant, but Amelia ate a massive fill from the buffet, and I gorged myself on the chocolate fountain. The food was very good (considering how much it costs), but the thing that got me the most was the service. First-class waiters and waitresses were patient as hell, despite covering about two dozen people each.

We also celebrated our 1 year anniversary (yes, it HAS been that long!) but, unfortunately, on the day I had classes I had to attend. We delegated the celebrating to her birthday, since they’re both very close to each other. Amelia also held another birthday dinner at Paesano’s at Knox O-Zone, and so many people showed up that we had to get two massive tables and squeeze together.

Meg, Amelia’s dog, has gotten extremely cute – and much bigger! Although she is still quite small, she no longer fits just on one arm, and I need to carry her with both. She’s not gotten much smarter, but she’s very loyal, and the other week when I visited her after a long break, she was so excited, she peed! I love Meg very much, and I can’t stop talking about her when I’m with other people. I think it annoys them but if they were loved by Meg, they’d do the same.

And now, I’ve finished all the assessments for my university schooling. I’m not going back to class next year, nor have I a job lined up. I was hoping to take a year off and see what my options are. Perhaps I can pay Amelia more attention too, as I have neglected her a lot this past few months.

I’m about to go to China for a two week holiday, by myself. I’m utterly terrified, because I’m about as good a flyer as a rock, and I’ve never had to go by myself before. But, hey, I’m 21 now, I should learn how to hack it.

It also means that, despite this lengthy and vigorous attempt to revive this blog, I will not be blogging for the next 2-3 weeks, because WordPress is blocked in China. But I will strive to come back.

So, Revenge of the Laugh! The Life Returns. Etc.

Alex.

/edit: Also, Brendan happened. He had to carry my drunk girlfriend since I couldn’t, and she kept on thinking she was flying, causing him to nearly drop her a lot. (This was at SAMA camp by the way.) Also a bunch of other stuff including him took place, like um. I don’t know. Also he got a new girlfriend.

Advertisements

We Started At Zero

In the past month or so, more than 4 youths in America killed themselves because they were bullied at school for being gay.

This is Ellen Degeneres’ message regarding the matter. I’ll let you watch this first.

When I heard that the youngest of the boys were 13, I felt that stabbing pain of heartbreak – 13!

The oldest of the boys were younger than me.

When I read the news article, I actually sat there, shocked, for a few solid minutes. I could only stare at the faces of the boys, smiling back at me. I tried looking for any sadness in their eyes, and shadow in the curve of their smiles, and I couldn’t see any. These boys who, when the shutter clicked, had so much happiness, had been pushed to end their own lives to escape from the teasing. And for what? For being exactly who they are, and liking people that they naturally are attracted to.

When I was 13, I was in my first year of high school. My worst problem was that my closest friends in primary school all went to different high schools from me – I had to make new friends. And I did make new friends.

The THOUGHT of killing myself – or even HURTING myself – because I’m upset, didn’t even occur to me at that age.

Being different to other people is hard, but sometimes it’s easy to change it, even if it makes you a bit upset. The skill of fitting in is crucial in the early years of teenage-hood, I won’t even sugar coat it, I did it, you did it, I know that everyone did it at times. Maybe you’ll even realize that changing yourself a little to fit in actually pushed you onto a path you feel better with – or led you to that path, whatever. I know that I really wanted to make friends with Dani, so when she recommended music, I listened to them (oh, Dani, don’t see any less of me). It was a good thing that I did that, because I ended up loving the music in my own right.

However, there are things you just can’t change. You can try to deny it, but there is no way you can change it. Things like being attracted to people who are the same sex.

So, there you are, being very different to people around you, and you can’t change it. You’re not at the age where saying “fuck it, I am who I am” does anything. At these times, having at least someone on your side is crucial. The sad part is, and I know what this feels like, with things like being gay or bi, you actually feel like there is no one who would really be on your side. Even your closest friend might turn their back on you in your imagination of how events might go.

Even if you are brave enough to tell someone, then it becomes that THING where it needs to be kept secret, because you just KNOW there is gonna be an asshat out there who would make your life a living hell if they found out.

For these boys, the asshats found out.

I’m pretty sure this is the first time I made a direct reference to it here, but yeah, I am bi. I know quite a few of you will probably already know this, or guessed it by implication, but this time it’s written down here. (By the way, if you know me or my parents personally, can you please not tell them? Both of them are rather homophobic and I really am not ready to tell them yet. Don’t be that asshat and screw my life up.)

I am incredibly lucky. From the first person that I had the courage to tell, and all the subsequent people after that, all of them have been fine with it. I wouldn’t say that they’ve all embraced it with open arms, but I haven’t lost any friends over it. I won’t kid myself – there are very likely people who have sad bad things about me behind my back, and I’ve had a few say un-nice things to my face, but I have enough love from all my friends to help me pass that. And that’s why I say I am incredibly lucky. I would be count myself blessed if my parents could accept it too, but I’m not looking for miracles ha.

I honestly feel the utmost sympathy for anyone who is suffering because they don’t feel that luck and love that they need. I would be willing to talk to anyone who needs a pair of ears to receive their problems. But I wish I didn’t have to say that – I wish that kids don’t need a complete stranger’s support to be okay everyday, that if they need someone to help them, they can do what I get to do, and call up a friend to unload onto them.

It’s just plain wrong that these boys felt like they didn’t have a single one of these friends to talk to.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with them, so why were they made to feel like they had to end their lives?

May their souls rest in peace in, if they so believed, heaven. Yes, because even if I am not religious, I don’t think that an all-loving God would bar a 13 year old boy from having eternal peace.

If you’re feeling upset about something, please tell someone. People have a habit of surprising you in the amount they can care.

Alex.

I Don’t Believe That Anybody Feels The Way I Do

[Wonderwall – Oasis]

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Dear reflection,

Fuck you so sexy, if ya just be looking at thems bwois they be melting at their knees and begging to treat ya right.

Or some shit like that, right?

They tell us to love ourselves because we’re all beautiful, no matter how big our breasts, how perky our butts, how thin our legs, how high our cheekbones are (this is just, you know, for the girls. I mean, hell, guys might want perky bums as well I don’t know) but how many people REALLY see themselves in the mirror and go “fuck yeah that’s what I’m talking about”? Because I bet each and every one of them think, “Oh, I wish my skin was smoother” or something small, or big.

The difference is if they let that bother them. It’s not exactly “love the skin you’re in”, but rather “be predominantly not so bothered by the shortcomings of the skin you’re in”. And if you have something which you bloody think is brilliant, I say go fucking flaunt it. This period of time might be the only time in your life that that part is the best part, so go flaunt it – I say this without condoning wearing barely anything to show off your long legs. I mean…leave something to the imagination, please.

Okay, that’s the purely physical side of what I think about reflections.

The strange thing is, do you ever feel like you’re old? Because you see yourself everyday, and I just wonder how the hell do people actually think I look old enough to go into a bar (yes I know I get carded, but for argument’s sake we’ll say I don’t) because to me, I still am this little girl back in Gr 4. When I was about to leave primary school, everyone was saying how it was so strange that they were the oldest in the school, and that the preps saw them how they used to see the other old kids.

But hell, if the bouncers reckon I can get in, I’m not arguing.

It’s not like the face in the reflection still holds the same amount of wisdom behind it as it did in Gr 4. So I suppose in all senses that a hurrah for me.

Anyway, this is my last letter from my 30 days of letters. I think I should thank Bianca for telling me that it’s awesome, and I should thank everyone who’d read this. It wasn’t as repetitive as I thought it would be, even though I wrote pretty much all to girls than guys. I don’t know if I’ve made some self-discovery in these letters, but I suppose it cleared things up to write them.

So, for the last time in this series, but not for the last time in the blogs,

Alex.

Happy One Year, Alex!

Today’s officially the 1 year mark since I started blogging seriously.

I’ve come a long way since I started, August 18th 2008. Hey, that wasn’t a bad date to start blogging, considering the number of 8s in there.

I’ve been through a lot since then, but most importantly, you’ve been with me through it all. You, my dear readers. Whether you are new or you’ve been with me since the genesis of my blog, I thank you. It is with your encouragement, your comments, and your continuing contribution to the now very healthy blog hits counter that made me continue with the gusto that I have now.

Many things have happened in the year past. I’ve been through dry spells, I’ve been through the George Clooney rush (which, to date, still remains my day of highest traffic). I’ve been through a month’s silence, and I’ve been through an engagement.  I’ve been through music videos, I’ve been through music lyrics, I’ve been through my own lyrics and I’ve been through James Blunt’s lyrics (for that post about Romeo and Juliet).

I’ve met people through the blog (shout out to Sneaks) and I’ve made new friends through this blog (shout out to CJ). I’ve gone to Sale on this blog, and I’ve gone to places inside my head I don’t usually go with this blog. I’ve recorded some memories that I treasure, and I’ve recorded happenings that saddens me.

I’ve been through 3 themes, 4 header images, various changes to appearances and links and I think about 3 – 4 different ways of signing out.

And I look forward to more. I look forward to next year, and the year after that, and the events that I will record on this blog.

Thank you for being with me.

Alex.

P.S. I actually wrote this 3 days early and am going to set it to post at midnight on 18th of August. Here’s hoping it worked!

Want a Laugh?

To think Emma Watson was the only one who turned out decent looking. Rupert Grint wasn’t bad in the 4th and 5th movies but now…and don’t get me started on what the hell happened to Daniel Radcliffe.

Alex.

/edit Actually, no, here are some more:

Lol at how metrosexual Radcliffe looks. I’m not sure if this is the actual picture, it looks a bit photoshopped.

Oh no, that was the actual shoot:

So, I won’t actually be that surprised if someone tells me Radcliffe has turned gay.

Pictures Of You

Pictures of you
Pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be.

Pictures Of You – The Last Goodnight

Yesterday we got our final set of school photos, ever.

In the previous years, receiving school photos usually came with “uh oh, wonder how I looked” and followed by “oh my god my hair is so big! (She-who-will-not-be-named)”. But this year, it was also coupled by the realization that this was our LAST school photos. EVER.

I was looking at our class photo, at the 24 beaming (and 1 slightly smiling Scottish) faces, and I started trying to recall what we all looked like in Year 9. I remember Jen had the douchey expression on her face (look, okay…you had a douche-ier one before) and now she’s grinning gleefully with a row of clean straight teeth, looking, dare I say, like a lady. And there’s Vania, who despite receiving “aww” again, looked infinitely more mature and radiant. And Julia, whose hair was the wonder of all 4 years, was just pleased that her hair looked normal sized (oh oops). I remember one year, it had to have been 2007, when the lady taking the picture said, after Julia walked off, “You have a very sweet smile.” This caused Julia to continue smiling for the next 10 minutes.

I will miss these faces in the years to come. I am actually looking forward to Reunions to see if Jen is still douchey, Vania still adorable, and Julia still maintained her endlessly sexy hair.

D.F.