Another another disclaimer

Sneaks was sort of hinting at it so I’ve decided to officially announce that:

Yes, Chapter 3 is coming! I have a week off next week during which I can tap out the rest of Chapter 3. Chapter 4 should follow soon after seeing as I’ve done half of both. (Don’t ask why I did that).

Also, it’s occured to me that on Facebook only the first part of my blog is shown on my profile page. Unfortunately the previous one cut off at “…the perpetual gayness that is Bel and Julia…” and didn’t show my repeated assertations that they’re not gay. So whoever read that small intro would’ve gotten a really wrong idea. From now on I’ll be careful to write a teaser/summary in the first few lines, and then get into it.

By the way, they don’t like the name Julinda. I thought it was awesome. Apparently a lot of people don’t like it.

Some humor just go by unnoticed.

Alex.

Hybrid Couple Names

Today Jen and I took the tram to Flinders together after our guitar lesson got cancelled and us not knowing about it (since we didn’t go to ensemble at lunchtime. Had we gone we’d’ve known sooner) and we got onto the topic of, once again, the perpetual gayness that is Bel and Julia.

(Sorry guys, but honestly…)

Okay, to clear the air for my readers and for the sake of both their reputations: Julia and Bel are most definitely NOT GAY. Although at a glance you’d think, “You’re kidding right? What could be more gay than those two!?” but really, really, honestly, they’re not gay.

I’m not anti-gay, quite the opposite (ooh I think I just took a standpoint on a semi-public blog. Will I get flamed?) but I’m just clarifying for THEIR (non anti-gay) SAKE that they’re not gay.

Okay, to my actual point.

We (Jen and I) were discussing how when they’re together, it’s cute and all, but there is a limit of mushiness that we as their third-party friends can handle before it just becomes plain uncomfortable. You know how if you’re third-wheeling with a friend and their boy/girlfriend, and they get a bit kissy huggy “I lub chuu”-ey and you sorta have to look away with an embarrassed but hopefully not digusted expression? Yeah, with Bel and Julia it’s pretty much like that except they don’t kiss, they just hug and punch a lot.

Like when we were at Sale, and Jen and I were sitting separate to them (and Vania was with them but for the sake of this argument let’s move Vania a bit further away) and throughout the night every time I looked at them they were sort of in each other’s arms (in a really non-gay way. Can I stop saying that now?) and sleeping on each other.

Or the fact that they celebrated their one-year anniversary (of meeting one another).

Okay, so Jen and I were still saying stuff like, “Could they BE more gay?” (that was me) and then I was musing out loud about hybrid couple names.

Take for example, Brangelina. By the way, they’re Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in case you’ve been (in the words of Sonam) “living in and just come out of a rainforest”.

Or Posh and Becks.

You get my drift. And Wutinie, if you’re going for closer to home.

Jen said, “Yeah, you know you’re an official couple when you’ve got a hybrid couple name.”

There was a pause.

And I said, “Julinda.”

NEWSFLASH! NEWSFLASH!

We’ve now got a “Couple Name” for Julia and Bel. To make it easier to refer to them, we shall call them…

JULINDA!

And the world rejoices.

Alex.

Just being evil

Today I caught up with Pooki and her friend Mic-. They were at NGV for Top Arts or something and so we took the train home together. Eunice came with us, of course.

Eunice and I met up with Pooki and Mic- at Melb Central and I got a mini frozen coke (which, for a dollar, is seriously worth it). We then walked around Melb Central so Pooki can go shopping. Anyway so they went into Cocolatte (which I thought was a drink they wanted…sadly) and so I sat outside, my bag being too big. Mic- joined me after a while, and then Eunice and Pooki dumped their stuff with us.

Mic- said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they came out and we were gone with their stuff?”

It took one second for me to chuckle and decide. We stood up, took their stuff, and walked off. We went to Colorado which was upstairs and just had a chat about Pooki, school, pranks we’ve pulled etc.

It took them nearly 15 minutes to call back, they spent that long in Cocolatte. Then we went into Colorado and sat on the couch, hiding Eunice’s bag in the cushions, agreeing to pretend, “Bag? Did you give us your bag? I don’t remember you giving us your bag.”

It didn’t work. The cushions were rather obvious.

So then we went down to the platform and I was going to get off at Richmond for Carmaine and Bee, who were behind us, but it was raining at Richmond and I didn’t want to get wet. Then they called and said they were on the 41 but at that point, more or less, I didn’t get off.

On the train we were discussing comebacks and whatnot. Mic- said that someone had done an awesome one on Pooki.

They were playing Taboo, and Pooki had the word “compliment”. She couldn’t get it across, so TeeTee (I mentioned this before. But I’ll say it again; I don’t call him TeeTee, Pooki does. I do it to censor his name) said he’d help her. He said, “Ah, [Pooki], you’re looking very beautiful today.” And someone said, “I know what that is! That’s a LIE!”

It rained today. That’s good. Won’t do much for our water catchment but at least it waters gardens and washes cars.

Alex.

Potted Potter

Sorry I was going to blog this yesterday but things happened. Well, rather things didn’t happen, ie I didn’t blog it.

Yesterday was a pretty cold today. The temperature itself wasn’t that low it was just that it was very windy, raining, and oh the previous day had been nearly 30. So it was a shock to the system.

I went to Melb Central and did Chinese homework (please kill me or I’ll die from shame first) at the foodcourt, and then went to Dani’s place. Andrew’s friend, Shin was there and they watched Bboy videos while Dani and I played on her guitar, and Andrew’s guitar (that is, Andrew brought his as well). We tuned the guitar with the “online tuner” which basically plays a midi of each string, tuned, and you tune to it by ear.

We went to Melb Central, or rather UCMC (look I think it’s a clever shorthand way of texting someone the meeting point) with April, who had shown up at this point in my recollection. We saw Cathy, but also we saw Stoner, her cousin, Dee and her girlfriend. Dani saw another friend of her’s, so for about 20 minutes we just stood at UCMC and waited around. Then we went to Red Silks, and sat in one of the inside booths things.

During lunch, we did this thing where we used the “sexy voice” to say random items on the menu. For example, “You’re my crispy chicken and stir fried noodles.” Or “You’re the Red Silk’s Specialty.” Etc. Then, and I don’t remember how we got to this exchange but…

Me: [said something]

Dani: “Don’t you mean ‘he’?”

Me: “I said ‘he’.”

Dani: “Yeah cos I was about to say, ‘Andrew’s a girl.’ [pause] I MEAN BOY! ANDREW’S A BOY!”

We went to the Town Hall to watch Potted Potter, A Parody of All 7 Harry Potter books. It was very clearly targetted at children (Cathy wanted it…she wanted it) and actually The Shak from Ch 9 was filming there (I TOTALLY SAW NITRO). The two guys, John and David were two British lads and they talked really fast, and were really excited. Some of their jokes I think were actually really connotative. Like when David said,

“And so Voldemort entered Harry [pause] into the Triwizard Tournament.”

“And their wands touched.”

Not to mention the “Basilisk” mostly attacked “Harry’s” nipples. And the dragon from the 4th book, a hand-puppet, went between “Harry”‘s legs.

There were some pretty creepy things they did, like when John, who is in charge of acting as everyone apart from Harry, acted as Hermione, and kind of did this creepy Transylvania “Hello…I’m Hermione, a girrrl.” And David asks John “Have you even met an 11 year old girl?” Or Snape, who I swear is a gay pedo.

At some point near the end, David shouted, “Hang on! I just realized, playing Harry for the past 60 minutes. HARRY IS REALLY BORING! He always stumbles from one misfortune to another and does NOTHING! And how do you make him more boring than he already is? YOU MAKE HIM NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE…AND INVISIBLE! (referring to just before Dumbledore died)”

But I think the best part was the Quidditch game, where they got 2 audience members, both of whom were around 4 or 5, and then got the rest of the audience to throw a small beach ball around into hula hoops on either end of the room. Well, it was fun when we’re just bobbing it around, but then one kid decides to be the hero and spikes the thing into the head of the audience member in front of him, and then later on when a dad decides to be uber macho and smacks the ball right into some poor toddler. Andrew and I pissed ourselves laughing at that.

They ended with 2 parody songs. Voldemort and Harry did a duet to “I Will Survive” but with different lyrics, and then “Dobby” (who is beyond creepy) came in with an interlude “All By Myself”.

I suppose in the end it was worth the 18 bucks after all.

Alex.

Come and go now as you please

And I finally found that life life goes on with you
And my world still turns when you’re not around

Naive Orleans – Anberlin

(Well, I’m working my way towards that.)

Today was not an eventful day, but altogether not a bad day either.

This morning I took the 7:29 with Carmaine and we went to Dani’s place. Showed Carmaine Andrew’s Special Poster. It was rather interesting…for her…good for future references? Haha. We went down to Coles because her class was having a class party and people forgot food. We got some chips, dips, hot cross buns etc, and went back up. Andrew drove us to school.

I wrote Tiff’s plane letter in my 2nd period free while sitting on a picnic table with April. After writing the letter I started drawing random stuff on a piece of paper. April and were talking about a specific topic, and I started drawing our conversation onto the piece of paper. It went something like:

Dude 1: “No one wants me” [cries]

Dude 2: “Shut up, you’re getting me wet.”

Dude 1: “Don’t you care?”

Dude 2: “I do. I care about my keeping dry.”

It thus inspired me to start a small comic strip-thing titled “My Friends Don’t Give A Shit About Me” but now I’ve changed it to “Squish & Ko” because I might not necessarily do every comic as “my friends don’t give a shit about me”. It’s nothing personal against my friends, either. Just random funny moments that have happened.

Tomorrow is the last day of Term 1, and free dress day. Which means that today was actually my last official day wearing school uniform FOREVER! I only realized after I went out later to take out the rubbish that my school shoes, sitting in an easy-to-reach place on the rack, can now be moved to the very back. I drew on my school dress by accident but that doesn’t even matter anymore. My school socks have holes worn in them but that don’t matter, no. And since today and yesterday was rather hot, Tuesday was actually my last day wearing that blazer. Strange feeling, it was.

More to come tomorrow (I’m going out to dinner so…something to write about).

Alex.

April Fool’s Day…Fools…

So, today was the awesome April Fools Day. I wasn’t able to do much damage but in the future I do plan…to…yeah…

I was thinking last night about possible pranks. My scope of prank-ness only stretches so far as emails and texts, because there’s not much I can do physically on such short notice.

I’d wanted to get Carmaine but I couldn’t think of a prank that is awesome enough. But I figured out 2 good ones, one for Cathy and one for Dani.

I won’t share what I did to Cathy seeing as 1) she hasn’t responded yet (never checks her phone) and 2) it’s a bit personal. I did hit below the belt on that one.

The one I did to Dani, despite failing because Dani also doesn’t check her phone on time, was this:

I texted her last night asking if she was going to Period 1 as Madd- is away and we have a free. This was for 2 reasons. 1 was to ascertain around when she might be home and awake, and 2 was to set up my prank.

I texted her at 7:50, when I was still on the train, “Omg I’ve been knocking on your door for 5 minutes! Wtf does no one hear me?” and then I waited 2 minutes, during which she should have sufficient time to do a mad dash to her door, and texted “If you fell for that, Happy April Fools.”

She texted back in about 20 minutes telling me that she’d not checked her phone until much later, at 8. The upside was that she really did for a moment panic. The obvious downside was that she didn’t look stupid. Which, I must admit, was my relished goal.

I also texted April on a whim, saying that I’d “got bored last night and cut my own hair, and now I have a near bald spot.” She didn’t believe me. I suppose she’s extra aware on April the 1st.

Now, to make myself feel better, I must add that I did punk Dani before. I think it was around this time last month, Dani was in the city and I was rather bored at home. I texted her, “Where are you? At this very literal moment.”

She replied cheerfully, “At Price Attack on Swanston.”

“Thought so, turn around!”

Waited for about 30 seconds.

“Did you turn around?”

“SHUT UP!”

Ah, hey look, I do feel miles better.

2 years ago Eunice texted me (well, I suppose with our limited resources the best pranks are over texts) saying, and allow me to try to find the actual text:

“OMG! My mum just told me that we need to be out of our house in two weeks and that we’re going house-hunting today…in friggin Endeavour Hills. I don’t wanna move!!! ARGH!”

Then I, ever so stupid and gullible, replied (and pardon the swearing I am giving an exact recount except with not too many abbreviations):

“HOLD A FUCKING SECOND THAT’S IN DANDY SO YOU WON’T BE TAKING GLENNY! HOW FUCKING UNFAIR YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME FIND A HOUSE IN GLEN WAVERLEY DAMMIT. Omgsh. [insert crying face]” (I didn’t realize I replied completely in capitals.)

I suppose she was the one who started my want to punk others on April Fools. Thanks, Eunice.

I’ve one more official day of school uniform left before I get to be in casual. I can’t wait.

Hope the holidays provide me with writing material. Oh and of course I haven’t forgotten my Summer Project which I suppose I should change the name to “Half-Arsed Project” or something to that effect.

D.F.

Actually, from now on I’ll sign out as Alex.

Jack’s Gay Joke Tally

Last week at Jack’s I was sitting in the front row right behind his mountain of tissue boxes (so closest to the door), and on the table I scribbled “Jack’s Gay Joke Tally” and marked 1 for the gay joke he made starting that day, Sunday the 22nd of February. I was hoping that when I returned today I would be able to see maybe 20? Maybe 30? Marked on there. But unfortunately it was wiped off (probably Jack, said Annie).

Remember Jason from that time about 2 weeks ago? The one to whom Jack asked “Did you enjoy the oral I just gave?”. Today, Jack was encouraging us, in the effort of saving time, to do rough sketches. Rough is good. “Do you like it rough, Jason?”

I feel so incredibly sorry for Jason.

And finally, there was a boy sitting in the 2nd row, at the other end of the class, who looks like he belongs in DBSK (you may take it as me saying he’s hot, but really I’m just saying he looks like a girl). Annie started off by saying he’s cute (to which I countered with the DBSK quip) and finished the day by pondering “Is he JenT’s brother?”. Well if he was, that was suitably awkward.

There, this entry was longer, wasn’t it, Chez?

D.F.

Monash Uni Camp 2009

On Monday and for a good half of today I was on my Monash Uni camp, at where else but Monash University?

Since it was a 2 day thing, I might cut a few things short. And we’ve had so many laughs and jokes and good one-liners that I can’t remember them all. I’ll try my best to see what comes to mind.

Got up early (but not as early as I’d have to get up tomorrow) and picked up Bianca and Fel from Bee’s house. Were one of the first ones (ish) to get there, but waited around for Carmaine and Eunice so we ended up being one of the middle-last ones to register. I was in a room with Carmaine while Bianca, Eunice, Mary, Fel and EmPow were in the next room. Actually, they’re like clusters of rooms, so as 48 and 49 Carmaine and I were in one cluster with 47, 46 and 45. And as 50 and onwards, the others were in the next cluster. We had no idea where our rooms were so it took some walking around to get there. Who the hell knew G stood for Ground level?

Started the camp off with the “Conference Housekeeping” (ah gotta love the program sheet). Were told what to do, what not to do, that it’s a school camp, etc. Were told lights out at 11. Oh what a story that became. For future references, every one of our “conference sessions” were held in a large theatre. For all but 2 sessions I sat in the front row with BRuCE, and most of the time Dani.

After the Conference Housekeeping came the Study Sensei, which wasn’t in Japanese. It was held by two girls called Sam and Laura, the former being 24 but we all thought she was about 18-19, and I still don’t know how old Laura is but she looked a bit younger. They told us various ways to study and to take notes, and what is a good thing to do, what is not, etc. They told us that exercise books are not a good idea. I thought “psh, I just bought them, no way I’m going to looseleaf now.” Laura played a memory game with us, trying to make us remember information about her family and life. I think that was the only interesting part of it all.

Had morning tea, which was basically everyone cramming into the common room grabbing at drinks and biscuits. Then we went to VCE Enrolment, where we filled out those mandatory forms and signed those legal releases. Then we were told about the sports activities for the afternoon.

Had lunch, in the dining hall, which in so many ways made us think of a Chinese restaurant – all that was missing were the soy sauce and chopsticks. Halfway through lunch, something happened that made Carmaine spill water onto her crotch. Luckily she was wearing tights so the discomfort is only known to her, no one else could see. We had a loud laugh and Bee sighed and asked no one in particular, “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

We then went to the sports activities. I signed up for Tennis but it took ages for the gate to be opened, so much so that Bianca, Shaz and EmPow left and went back to the rooms. Bianca and Shaz didn’t come back to play, but EmPow did. Fel and I rallied (that is, tried) a few times with Jenko and Gif-. Then we played singles for a while, before EmPow came back. After a while, Carmaine and Eunice joined us, and EmPow, and those two and I played a few rallies. I got rather sunburnt (again). Actually, I was wearing a wristguard (weak wrist) and I have a rather distinct tan line of where the wristguard starts and ends. I was rather puffed out and tired at the end of the game. And later that night when I had a chance to look into the mirror I was tomato red. When I got back to the room, I had a quick rinse in the shower and went out to afternoon tea. Then, back to the Deakin Theatre to listen to our principal talk, and then Miss K- talked to us about VCE stuff. Not much is what we haven’t heard, or know, but it was a bit daunting to have it all said again.

Then came a speaker called Jelena Popovic. She is a magistrate. April remarked that she talked JUST LIKE Ms MacA- and it was found out later on that the reason for that is they’re actually siblings. Popovic always made jokes about Ms MacA- being strict, and when she did she would cup her hands over the mike as if she were whispering, but by doing so she actually made her words louder and audible.

Before dinner, Carmaine went to play pool while I properly washed my hair, but when I left my room I couldn’t find her, nor anyone else. I walked around the residence area, shouting her name. I managed to find Eunice, and made our way to Shaz’s room via mobile instructions. Then, sticking my head out of Shaz’s room, I shouted “CARMAINE! CARMAINE!” I found a few people walking around down below (that is, Shaz’s room is on the 2nd floor, or 3rd floor if you’re American) and asked “HAVE YOU SEEN CARMAINE!?” Someone answered, “No I didn’t. But…” then went out of sight and earshot, and I started frantically shouting “BUT WHAT?!” I went back to our room in case she was there, nup. Walked around the area a little bit more just in case, and asked a lot more people. Nup. Finally, Carmaine called Eunice back in Shaz’s room, and I went to get her. Upon seeing her, I said, “Don’t be surprised if later people start telling you that I’m looking for you.” Later, at dinner, Nagi-, one of the people whom I shouted at, asked me, “So did you end up finding Carmaine?” Played pool with Carmaine after dinner, and somehow pulled a hammy on the table.

Had another speaker after that, talking about relationships. Her talk had ups and downs, I suppose it was a good relief from the incessant talk about schoolwork, but at the same time it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know about myself. The speaker was clearly a big fan of Sex In The City and Delta Goodrem. She showed us a a couple of love songs that might make different people feel different ways, two of which were Goodrem songs and one was “Feel” by Robbie Williams. We talked about Toxic and Nontoxic relationships, and reasons why people might stay in the latter. Nearly every suggestion that came up somehow rounded its way back to “for the sex” or “for the money”. Then, near the back I hear a voice say, “Emotional blackmail. As in if the partner says ‘I’ll kill myself if you leave me’.” Took a look-see, and of course, that was Dani (love you). There was a clip called “catfight” which was actually about 7 tiny adorable puppies chasing and bullying this cat, which was trying to run away and defend itself. Also there was a music clip for “I’m A Believer” the song, and true to our nature, we all sang along to the chorus. Oh, and almost forgot to mention. There was a poem which the speaker wanted us to listen to and write down 3 emotions we think the poem, a breakup poem, was about. I don’t remember much of the poem except it was a generic sappy heartbreak crap, but there were 2 lines that went something along the lines of “You blew it one too many times…I don’t want to get off the joyride that you give me” or something. About 3/4 of the theatre sniggered, I included. Carmaine elbowed me exasperatedly, because at time we were sitting very close to the teachers.

Had supper, then had some time left before Lights Out at 11. We all (that is, BRuCE, Shaz and Fel) went up to Shaz’s room and hung out a bit, and decided to play truth-or-truth. We got as far as something about Bee that I can’t remember but it was something I knew, Eunice’s past crushes, the fact that I’d rather do Michael Jackson than Mr G (Only because like HELL I’d EVER do Mr G), and that Carmaine would rather do Mrs Wil- than Ms Gar-, but only because she likes the former’s lipstick (ie, the “taste of her cherry chapstick”. One of my better calls for the night). EmPow, Franco and Hobo came in later, and we started playing Mafia. In the 4 rounds, I was a Mafia, Detective, Detective, then the narrator. Won as the Mafia, lost as Detective first time because we blamed the wrong people (haha Carmaine was my fellow detective but we ended up blaming the wrong person, who was a Civillian), lost as Detective second time because I was killed, and then as the narrator narrated a rather funny story (everyone laughed…but I was gruesome…so…) and in the end Fel managed to give away the game.

We were hitting about 15 minutes until lights out when we all went back to our rooms. Had a bit of a confused moment when Carmaine and I wanted to spend the night in Bee and Eunice’s cluster, but couldn’t lug the mattresses to their cluster without being suss, and then later on when Carmaine and I were trying to get Bee and Eunice over to my room because if we moved Carmaine’s mattress to my room we’d have space, it was already past 11 and Bee was too scared. So instead we slept in my room, I on the floor because I didn’t like how soft the bed was (nor did I like how soft the mattress and pillow were) and talked for about 2 and a half hours. At some point, we were lying horizontally across the bed, with our feet on the wall next to the bed, and we started stomping the wall. Then came a loud “thump thump” and we were like “OH CRAP SOMEONE’S IN THE ROOM NEXT TO US!” Turned out to be Mary, and we were concerned that she may have overheard our conversation, but she said “I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL YOU TWO STARTED STAMPING ON THE WALL!” We called Eunice and they were playing Snap and Spit in their room, so we just kept on talking. Covered many an interesting topic of conversation, and were pretty honest with each other which I was really really grateful for. Then at around 1:20 am, we called Dani’s mobile, and were greeted with a small unappreciating croak. We asked, “Aww, were you asleep?” And got a confirming croak in reply. “Oh, sorry honey. Go back to sleep. Goodnight, we love you.” “Errgghh…” “Aww you’re so cute!” “Urrhh…”

We pretty much decided to go to sleep after that, but I couldn’t fall asleep because of the foreign bed. Got up at around 3 to pee, and every muscle in my body ached (so damned out of shape) from tennis. Had a tough time trying to open the damn door, and Carmaine half-asleep asked “What are you doing?” “Go back to sleep, I’m trying to open this son of a bitch door.”

Phone alarm went off at 6:30 but continued sleeping until 7. Eunice came into the room with her Wong-Ar shirt, and then Bee joined us. In a general sleepy mess we changed, brushed, washed, toileted (and Carmaine used the hand dryer to blow dry her hair, what a champ) and packed. Had breakfast, and April and Dani sat with us. Bianca wasn’t too happy that I was talking so loudly in the morning (no one was…but Carmaine smiled and joked around with me anyway). Dani tried to kill me by feeding me a super large piece of fruit. After breakfast we went to the pool room and shot some balls (ha). We heard through the grapevine that on the previous night, on one of the upper floors, a few girls were in the room together when a teacher came around and so they either went back to their rooms, or, as a few did, hid in the cupboard. Except the teacher heard them hiding into the cupboard so they were ultimately busted hiding in the cupboard. Oh man, that’s pretty classic, in my opinion.

Listened to some Peer Support talks and tips, and some things about the Common Room which is OURS NOW. In the Peer Support thing, we had an activity in groups and were each given a scenario to cope with. My group had “You left your school notes on the train and is having a SAC in a few days” and was asked “What will you do to minize this happening in the future?” I wrote “Staple it to your forehead.”

We then went off into a few different things, where we could talk to ex-MacRob students about some of the specific courses we might be intersted in. Design was a funny one, because the girl more or less told us not to do it because it’s shit pay, loads of work, and no social life. Arts was vague but I actually think it’s pretty cool because there are so many choices in Arts. But Media. Oh Media. I am actually now excited about doing Media and Communication in Melb U. First of all, the contact hours are only about 12 hours a week (score) and secondly, even if I ultimately can’t get what I want to do, I think that marketing and PR isn’t bad, and I believe that I have the creativity skills to get me there. As long as I pull my arse in and really get out there and do work experience. Plus if I go to Melb U, I may be able to live with Dani. Carmaine is interestined in Pharmacy, and I think that would be so incredibly awesome if she does it because my parents would love her more. Haha! But there are other reasons too, and as she said her wanting Pharmacy would motivate her to do well in Chem this year. Eunice is interested in Med (what else? But I honestly think Eunice is one of the few people who would REALLY REALLY just SUPERACHIEVE in that field). I didn’t see much of Bianca after this conference but then again I already have a fair idea of what she’s passionate about.

Had lunch on the floor of the dining room due to lack of seats. Mai took pictures of us being hobos. Found out something awesome about April’s brother, and I am so happy for him because I know he must be so happy right now, and so carefree. And also there was a funny mo’, when as a joke I said, “Carmaine might be hiding something from us all this time” and April replied, “with those tights on, I don’t think so.”

Finally, did some evaluation of the overall camp, and then left Monash and went home. Walked home in the sun, therefore I got sunburnt AGAIN. School photos is tomorrow. Oh dear god help me. I checked out my face; on the side with the fringe, it’s fine-ish. On the side without the fringe…oh my FUNKY gosh. I look like a premature version of Two-Face.

Anyway, I’ve written a pretty damn long blog. I’m sorry to make you read all this.

Keep Cool (and your dreams alive)

D.F.

“Prostitutes…I call them street babes”

Today I went to Jack’s tutoring in Springvale, for Methods. His thing is ran from his garage (it’s air conditioned with blinds and floor tiles and tables and shiz).

He’s a funny guy, Jack. He started off his class by telling us not to look at our girlfriends/boyfriends, or talk to them. We can sit in their laps but we can’t talk to them. As long as we do our work. He explains that he doesn’t talk very fast, unlike what people think gay people do. He pointed at his tie, which was pink. “Pink’s gay, right?” And when we got to a question g, he said “I like g. G is for gay.” Unfortunately five minutes later he had to explain that he wasn’t gay, he just liked making jokes about gay people. Most of the class went “ohh” because we thought he was serious.

He started telling us about how on St Kilda beach, if you drive into the smaller streets, there’re prostitutes everywhere. He taught us to keep driving straight and not honk them because then they’d just hook onto you. Same deal with Kings Cross in Sydney. He said for you to just keep walking straight ahead. He had to, since he was there with his parents.

At some point, he was trying to help us identify if a point is a cut, a turning point or a point of inflection. He said “I’m going to use my finger now. Can you see my finger? Everyone, follow my finger. I use all the different parts of my body when I teach maths. When I point, it’s finger-technique. When I write, it’s hand-technique. When I speak, it’s oral-technique.” Then he raised two fingers, like you would when you mimick a gun except no thumb (to put crudely, like you would when you’re fingering a certain somewhere) and said, “These are very important tools.”

He told us about how he used to have an ex-girlfriend but she broke up with him. So he has a photo of her and that’s all he needs to be happy. The other day him and his mates went to have a beer and their mates were with their wives and he was with his photo. His mates called him weird. His wife also calls him weird. I was just about to say out loud “Because you worship a photo of your ex-girlfriend?”

He told us to work hard in Year 12. He asked us, “Why should you work hard in Year 12?” and then promptly answered himself, “So you don’t end up living in Springvale.” “If you work hard in Year 12, you can have all the babes you want in university.” Wise words from a wise – and odd – man.

Keep Cool (and out of Springvale – not a stab at people living there but hey, what are we all working towards?)

D.F.