Suit up and grab me some boobage

On Wednesday it was dress signing day. And after that was the valedictory.

I couldn’t find my school dress so I nicked a huge bunch of papers from the library printer and got everyone to sign on them, the papers, instead. Thus I didn’t have any Sharpie marks on my skin during Valedictory (here’s looking at you, Julia), and people wrote nicer messages. I still haven’t had the time to sit down and read them yet. (AND CARMAINE! You never got to write a message.)

I signed Spanna’s right boob as a joke from the previous day. In the previous day I took a picture of Spanna’s generous cleavage and told her I’d tag one boob as me and one boob as Julia. Which is why I signed the boob that is me on Wednesday.

When I got to school, I noticed that Dani’s left boob got taken by Andrew already (‘cos that’s where her heart is. Wtflux? Don’t ask.) so I got her right boob with “this is mine mine mine mine mine – Alex”.

That started my mission to get as many right boobs as I can with “this is mine mine mine mine (the number of ‘mine’ depended on the size of said breast) – Alex” as possible. I actually managed about maybe over 100? Hehe.

When the boob was taken, I took the crotch.

When both was taken, as in the case of Anto-, I took the bum. That one was actually surprisingly embarrassing.

During recess, someone boarded up all the windows in the common room and we had a rave party. Loud music, people jumping. It was fantastic.

After Legal (during which we did no work but sat around and were happy and took pictures and hugged Nik-) and our last class ever, Dani, Zara and I went to Dani’s place to get ready for Valedictory. I played with the new kittens (these are much smaller than the ones from last year) and they gave me confused looks. (By the way, I tried uploading photos but it wasn’t working.)

Got all my clothes ready, and Andrew came home, changed, and we were off to the Crown Palladium.

When we had finger food (well, it was MacRob, people were fighting for food) we camwhored and everyone remarked how tall the heels were and so forth. Met Spanna’s mom, and a man who I thought was her dad but turned out to be Chez’s dad. That was bloody embarrassing and not my fault.

Sat down for speeches. Trying to fast forward this because I haven’t had breakfast yet…

Had some great speeches from everyone, and it was quite funny when one half of the room’s lights began to turn on and off. Frank and Caro- performed their song and it was quite heartbreaking and caused quite a few tears when Frank started crying halfway through.

Then came the time for everyone to go up and get their stuff. When I went up I called out Clarkey’s name and gave him a high five. It was awesome (despite my mom telling me that I’m an idiot for it later on. I’m not going into that, by the way…)

After Valedictory BRuCE, Fel and our respective parents and the odd sibling or two went to dinner at The Pub at Crown (I finally went to the place SonJ had so much trouble explaining before, she said “the place with tables and chairs and music and people”). I ordered a steak and chips, and it was tough but very delicious.

Went home. That was a disaster. For the 2nd time in a row we had to catch a replacement bus because they were obviously doing something to the tracks at night. Mom felt too sick to stay on the bus and demanded to get out at MT WAVERLEY where we stood around at 11:40 at night in the cold. Couldn’t get a taxi, so had to call a family friend to come up. Parents argued for so long as to who to call that by the time the family friend came up to Mount Waverley from Wheelers Hill, the next replacement bus had come and gone and it was past midnight.

Got driven back to the Glen where our car was parked, and mom proceeded not to drive and just sit there for the next 2o minutes. Finally got home, and had to do all the other things like shower and clear memory space on my camera, so that when I went to sleep it was 1 am, and I was waiting for a 5 am wake up to get to school for early breakfast.

Now you understand why I was tired.

Otherwise, though, the night was incredibly fun, as was the day.

The next installment, which is our “muck up” day, will be written about tonight.

Alex.

A-ding-a-ding…

Last night was the 2008 MacRobertson Girls’ Speech Night.

For the whole day I had been out, because in the morning we had rehearsals. Then in the evening was the actual Speech Night.

The morning rehearsals were a drag even though we got to socialise a bit, despite the teachers’ many attempts at making us quiet. We made fun of the Endearing Brute – well I did, everyone else laughed – and I played DS for a while. April and Carmaine sat with me most of the time, Carmaine reading any magazine she could lay her hands on, and April being a general NUISANCE with texting EVIL TEXTS! Bianca texted me halfway through, with “I love you *mwah*” I replied “I love you more [rapes]”. And that, my dear reader, is how much I “love” her”. (Do NOT call the cops this is a joke. I don’t know, some people tend to take it seriously.)

Carmaine was reading a bit about “sexual encounters” and she showed April and I this rather disturbing little ditty which, to be vague, included cops, a ton of embarrassment, and some nasty anal thrusting, if you catch my obvious drift.

After rehearsals we went to State Library where Fel and Bee had to buy some books. Some of us went to Don Don’s to buy lunch, then Stoner and I went to Asian grocery to buy drinks. We ate on the steps of the library, and afterwards Bee, Shaz, Carmaine and a few other people who I can’t recall correctly went to go shopping, leaving Stoner and I going to Dani’s place carrying Carmaine’s large bag – and it was abnormally shaped, and hard to feel comfortable carrying. We found Son-, Vania, Dani and April – and Vania’s kickass sunnies – and Dani, April, Stone and I went to Dani’s place. We played with kittens, kicked out Eater who is getting big and annoying, and Lysh- had to be babysat – Dani’s baby sister, she is 2 and a bit. The tiny tot found extreme entertainment in counting to five and making me headbang. When my neck got sore we counted to five and pounded Dani’s butt. Bahaha to you, Dani. One kitten napped in my lap. Lazy cat, stretched out however he wanted and didn’t care about if I needed to get up. Cute-as, though.

Carmaine and D.P. arrived, April left, and at around 5 or later we went down to Pizza Hut. Stone left – and left her jacket at Dani’s place, so if you read this Stoner Dani has your jacket – and we took the pizza back upstairs to the apartment. D.P., Dani and Andrew brought drinks and a roast chicken. We fed, or rather D.P. fed, Lysh- small bits of meat and bread, and Eater ran around wanting food. One of the kittens, who Andrew named Tiger, decided to be cute and jumped and attached himself to my leg, then using all of his tiny claws he clambered up my – thank God, jeaned – leg and settled in my lap, staring up at me until I fed him. Well I didn’t, so suck. I wanted to take him home though. Have you ever had a tiny kitten stare up at you? You’d want to take him home too.

After dinner I changed into my winter uniform, only to have Carmaine not want to go. I changed back into casual and we played Big 2 with Little Cards. Then, for the next 3 hours, we just sat around messing up Dani’s apartment. 3 guys came, 2 of whom are from Melb. High and the other guy from Scotch. Scotch-boy was called Mike but after Andrew mentioned he looked like Sylar (from Heroes) with spiky hair I just called him Sylar, and made many jokes about him killing people. The other two guys are Dom and Jack, and Dom break dances and Jack is smart.

When Speech Night was about to end, Carmaine and D.P. changed into Winter. I didn’t. We took the tram down with the three guys, and then a bus because the tram wasn’t running. Carmaine and I were at Southern Cross (Spencer St, according to her) waiting for an 11 o’clock train when Carmaine’s mom called to take us home.

And here was the crazy stupid part of the night.

I decided to walk down Collins to Swanston, and thus to Fed Square, but I took her the wrong way.  Before we realized our mistake I made us get on a tram which, before I could react, took us to Docklands. Thanks to Carmaine, we found our way back to Bourke/Swanston, and we walked back to Fed Sq., having gone a huge circle and wasted half an hour. Carmaine’s mom’s friend drove us home, and by the time I hit the hay it was 1 am. (My excuse was I have shit sense of direction which Carmaine knows now, and that she should’ve led since she did Geography.)

And that, is that.

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. If anyone has a program from Speech Night that you don’t want can I have it?

BULLFUCK!

It was a long day yesterday. And I LOVED IT!

And hooray, for having something to write about.

The day started with my walking to the bus stop, despite my mom’s invitation to drive me to the train station. I didn’t want to be in a car with her telling me and lecturing me about next year. The walk is much much better.

I arrived at school half an hour earlier than I’d planned, mostly due to funny bus times and extra trains (who would’ve thought Connex actually had more trains than before?) and went on my man-hunt for Jess-with-my-money-for-Jap-books. Got Julia to advertise and sell a couple of my books, and walked around with Nug trying to find said Jess. Found her in the gym. Got my money. Hoo-ah.

Sat with Carmaine and L- (okay, so she has 2 letters in her name so I had to censor it like that) in Methods orientation, then Julia Yr 10 joined me on my other side. Realized how thoroughly I need to revise over the holidays if I wanted to catch up, seeing as freakin’ Julia was smarter than me (I maintain that I will be the dumb Yr 12 and she the smart Yr 11). Saw Bee and other Peer Support people afterwards, and hung out with them. Sang happy birthday 3 times. Okay but I won’t go into detail as the day was long, and Bee is waiting to read what happened in the evening.

In singing rehearsals, I sat with Dani and April and Liz, and D.P. was in front of me. Endearing Brute kept on stopping after every song – technically, just before every song, which drove us mad because we were all taking a breath to start the next son when she stopped us – and we were all chattering when Endearing Brute screamed “SILENCE!” True to our nature, Dani and I both shrieked (softly) “I KILL YOU!” April rolled her eyes and Miss Har- who was standing next to us looked thoroughly confused, but not angry. I don’t think she likes Endearing Brute very much.

Mumbled our way through Gaudeamus and Vale, then it was OUT TIME! After an impatient wait, a few of us went to Dani’s apartment, to start preparing for the BBQ. But, of course, the kittens were there. Who cares about a BBQ when you’ve got tiny curious kittens trying to eat your stockings? D.P. had a cat stuck on her stockings and pull as she might, she can’t get the cat off. Poor kitten was in the Superman position, absolutely refusing to let go of its prized possession. I had to go in and pry the fibre off its claw. Diep had 3 kittens at the most crawling around her, and Andrew had one on his bum. He tried to shake it off but we all screamed at him to stop. Apparently the kitten was more important than Andrew not having his bum scratched out.

Finally we went down to start cooking for the BBQ. Soph, Fra- and Shaz arrived, as did two of Dani’s old friends. I had to leave after eating half a sausage to buy a text book from a Yr 12 – thus nearly completing my book requirements for next year – and so I walked all the way from Dani’s apartment back to the school, a good sold 20 minutes’ walk, then, when I’ve NEARLY made it back to Dani’s apartment, my dear Carmaine calls me from the school to pick her up. So I start walking back to the school, I find her – it was hard, for some reason – and we make it back to the apartment in time for her to take nearly 20 minutes to change, wrap Dani’s presents and for me to play with the kittens more. Dis- and Leanne were both there when I got back, as were Marco and Nat and a couple of other people. By the time we all went downstairs, the food was mostly gone, it was windy and cold, and I had some of Sonia’s boob cake (don’t ask, won’t tell). Actually, the boob cake was good.

After screaming out happy birthday for the 4th time that day, 2nd time to Dani, and eating the cake, watching the other Asians camwhore, cleaning up – something that only Andrew and Dani did, ha – we all went back upstairs, played with kittens (Eater tried to eat us. Car- was very much scared. She couldn’t go pee without making sure Eater was well clear) and then decided to head off for KBox – karaoke.

Somehow, we lost a bunch of people getting on the tram. By the time we got to KBox, only Dis, Soph, Andrew, Dani, D.P., Carmaine Diep and I were there. KBox was booked out (bastards) so we went to Party World. Party World wasn’t open and plus was too expensive (double bastards) and by that time Dani was very very very annoyed. We thought about watching James Bond but in the end, decided to go to an Asian grocery, buy a whole heap of food, and going back to Dani’s apartment to eat and watch DVD. Lost Dis- and D.P. along the way. We started watching The Bee Movie, but the sound file was not working so we watched Ghost Rider instead.

It was crap. Didn’t get it. Didn’t like it. All I remember is Andrew yelling “BULLFUCK!” in a particular scene. Carmaine retorted “Isn it usually ‘bullshit’?” and she looked at me for confirmation. Being engrossed in how J.B. was going to jump pver 30 trucks, it took me over 5 seconds to reply, “yeah that’s right.”

Speaking of Andrew vs Carmaine. Bee, you remember on the photoshoot day there were remarks about the size of both parties’ eyes made? Well last night it was taken to a whole NEW LEVEL. Andrew tried to integrate a “because your eyes are too small” joke about Carmaine in EVERY SINGLE SITUATION. Eg, Carmaine: “I want to kick him but I can’t because he’s attached to Dani.” Andrew: “It’s just ‘cos your eyes are too small you can’t tell the difference between Dani and me.”

Carmaine and I left Dani’s at around 10, much to my parents’ distaste. On our train there was a business-looking woman listening to loud doof-doof music on her leaky headphones. Needless to say, I started to bop to her music.

Slept at 12. The rained hard and long (Ha. Ha. Ha.) this morning and it was nice to be in bed listening to the pounding.

Carmaine and I both agreed that a day out is much better than a day in. Dani’s place is like a place of freedom, of fun, of independence. Go Dani!

And so concludes yesterday. Julia Yr 11 is going overseas tomorrow. Jen and the Jap crew had touched down in Japan yesterday. I’m not goin’ anywhere.

De Fluffe, Out.