Jagged Watermelon

Today, I went to Steven’s birthday BBQ. It was in Doncaster. Do you know how LONG it takes to get to Doncaster on a Saturday public transport timetable? On the way home, we didn’t have anything planned, and as things turned out, it took over 2 hours to get home.

Anyway, backtrack to morning. I got up UBER early and arrived at Steven’s BBQ at 10, and BEFORE he did! Hung out with Clem, Swang and a few of his other friends for, oh, an hour or two, before people slowly started showing up – no other girls showed up until Tracy, at around 12:30 or something.

Steven’s mom got a LOT of meat, and we cooked about half of it, and it fed the 15-odd hungry teenagers there. That’s how much meat there was. Elaine came along some 30 minutes before Mandy and Dot (even though Mandy first made contact with Jacky for instructions on how to get to the park around 15 minutes before Elaine arrived). In fact, the getting-to-the-park became a much favored topic of conversation – Big-Head arrived sweaty, and told me he had gotten off the bus 5 stops too early, and walked perhaps 2 km in the full sun and uphill.

There was a Nerf gun at the party, and we tried to shoot a can with it – which soon changed to shooting at Jacky. Mandy couldn’t seem to figure out the mechanism, and in trying to teach her, Jacky shot her in the face. Everyone “OHHHH”ed at that.

Susan was also lost, and she needed to be picked up by car. I asked Clem to pick her up, but he said, “I don’t know what she looks like! I don’t want to pick up random chicks!” Sureee he doesn’t. In the end, Brendan (not Whitty), who knows Susan and can drive, picked her up.

Viv arrived without too much problem, and she gave me a really nice hug. This was particularly important because she commented her concern on my blog before, and I had to mention it.

Later on, Jo L and Anna showed up, and after eating a LOT for their small figures, they made what they called Daisy Chains with Dot, put them on their heads, and took 50 photos of themselves (I saw this on their camera later on).

Brendan noted that I made fun of Swang a lot – but I think he doesn’t understand the love between us. I bag her but I do it with love – and she is the same. It’s all good!

I tried to make a new nickname for Elaine catch on, but it wasn’t working out. I can’t explain the nickname because it has something to do with her last name, but you can trust me when I say that it is an amazing nickname.

Susan was thirsty, and there were no more drink left, so she cut up the last of the watermelon. She decided to be arty with a big knife – which scared me – and tried to cut jagged pieces, like teeth. It actually worked.

The day ended when Mandy finally won a game of Big-2, after Jacky let her win. He had a winning hand, but she wouldn’t leave until she won, and it was getting late.

Mandy, Anna, Dot, Joanne and I took the bus home. At Nunawading station we just missed a bus, and ended up waiting 30 minutes for the next one. Like I said, it took me over 2 hours to get home.

Happy birthday Steven!

Alex.

You Said Move On, Where Do I Go?

[Thinking Of You – Katy Perry]

Well, since I (somehow) capped myself, this will be my last post until I uncap (except for Christmas). I put some effort into making this post interesting, okay?

This is mostly for Katherine’s benefit.

One day when we were on MSN I complained to her, “Katherine, you never stalk me anymore. When we first met/got back in touch, you’d stalk me three times a day, at the least. Sometimes you’d drop by and stalk me unexpectedly, just to let me know you still feel that stalk-spark. But now you only stalk when I ask you, and even then I don’t feel like your heart is in the stalking. It’s like you lack the passion you once had for stalking me.”

Katherine replied, “But honey (she didn’t say honey, but for the purpose of this very thinly veiled double entendre she did) I don’t need to stalk you to let you know I still love you. Can’t you just know by me simply giving you a quick hi on MSN?”

“It’s not the same!” I cried, “You used to stalk me so passionately that you knew everything about me. I would look into your eyes and ask you the name of my 3rd grade teacher and you’d be able to reciprocate. But now, now you barely remember my password!”

“Dammit woman! (Again, she didn’t say woman. Why did I make her out to be the guy in this…anyway) Don’t you get I’m trying? I come home everyday exhausted from a long hard day of legitimate information gathering, and I just want to put my feet up, sit back and watch some Bones (oh yes, I noticed what I did there). I love you, baby, but I just need some time to myself. I can’t stalk you all the time.”

“Time to yourself? Oh don’t be coy with me, I know EXACTLY what you get up to!”

“What…what are you talking about sweetie? (She doesn’t call me sweetie either. She’s not a womanizer. She could be if she tried…and had a dick. The point is…)”

“I know about those tumblrs and deviantarts! I know that you spend your ‘free time’ stalking all those pretty girls on those sites instead of me! Do you think I haven’t noticed? What, am I not arty enough for you? I can be arty! I can be anything you want! Here I’ll string some apples onto trees, sit in an awkward yet erotically suggestive pose, and have you take pictures. Do you want that? I can do that! What can I do to make you want to stalk me again?!”

“You don’t understand, baby. It’s not the same.”

“I get it. No, I understand. I’ll just leave. Maybe I’ll delete everything of mine so you won’t ever get to stalk me again.”

“No, baby don’t be like that. Come back. Hey? Baby? Alex? Alex?!

…AAAAAAAALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!!!!!!!!”

(I HAD to put a Streetcar reference you in there, you understand.)

The intensely capitalized utterance appeared on my screen just as I moved my mouse cursor towards the close button. Hesitating, I tapped out, “Oh I do love you Stan-I mean, Katherine. I do. But how can I trust you again?”

“I’ll show you,” came the reply. I waited anxiously, not knowing what form of stalking Katherine will bestow upon me. Suddenly a red icon appeared on my Facebook page, and I saw that Katherine had “posted something on my wall”. My heart skipped a beat, half in excitement, half in anticipatory terror. What did she post?

“Hey sup how r u? I see u were playing bejeweled! Kwlzz~~”

And my world became complete once again.

Alex.

Disclaimer: Katherine never ever talks like that. In fact, I am willing to bet a very small amount of money that when she reads what I wrote, she will actually run away crying. She doesn’t type like a tool.

What she does do is stalk people on deviantart and tumblr. That part was true, and was written for her benefit.

I do not own Streetcar Named Desire, Tumblr, DeviantArt, Facebook or Bones in any way. Aha, now you can’t sue me.

And I’m very sorry, Katherine, for that thing about the dick…. ._.