You’re Gonna Listen To Me

[Faint – Linkin Park]

Preeetty sure I won’t hit 15 this month. I noticed I haven’t done a song post in ages so I might knock that over tonight as well.

So yesterday was Australia Day, and true to tradition (actually, it was my first recall-able time in the near 11 years since I’ve been here) I went to an Aussie Day BBQ.

I haven’t done a long and almost pointless documentation post in ages, so I might do it full on properly now.

Everything was going pretty peachy in the morning, despite being nearly late for my bus. But as I got on the train, with my hair sitting perfectly (pfft, who am I kidding), it started to drizzle. By the time I’d reached the 3rd station, it was a downright animal zoo out there.

Thankfully, Melbourne weather decided to mood swing towards niceness, and the skies let up the tears – albeit still rather dark and moody. I decided to be adventurous, and take a different tram to the one I would have normally taken.

Yeah, that was a bad idea. I got utterly lost, missed my stop, and had to wait an extra 10 minutes to take the tram one stop back. Then came the confused tourist walk to find the group. There was an awkward moment when I started walking towards a bunch of people near a BBQ purposefully, only to realize I didn’t recognize anyone there. Finally, I spotted a familiar face – the only one who’d arrived.

James, Jen’s friend who joined Juggling with us but then he actually went, had brought a football (the American kind) and, I know how ironic it sounds, but we started throwing that around. He tried to teach me how to throw it properly, but I suppose my hand-eye-ear-brain coordination simply went into hibernation this summer, because I don’t think I have the knack of it, still.

After a while, the MacRob girls arrived, meaning I had actually found people to talk to who don’t insult my lack of sporting abilities. So passed a good hour of sitting around chatting and catching up, followed by what seems to be a time-honored tradition of playing Big-Two and having at least one person not understand the rules and/or tactics. I am ashamed to say, however, that I lost a game.

When Jen T noted that there was another MacRob group who was also at Albert Park Lake (probably forgot to mention where we were), a few of us decided to take the walk to their area to say hi. We started the trek with enthusiasm, having been promised friends “just behind those trees”. The mood soon turned sour as “just behind those trees” turned out to be “halfway across the lake”. Annie, Julia and I watched in high mirth as Tiff weaved her way through the carpark, completely sober, but drunk on being herself, and Annie laughed so hard that she choked on her 20 years of existence.

We met up with the other MacRob group, which was essentially the other Japanese class plus some of our own. Huey had come back from her year in England, tanned as a Jersey Shore kid (oh, did I just make that reference), which was illogical to start with because she spent a year in ENGLAND.

Having stolen one of their drinks and made some great conversation about where people had been in 2010, we decided it was around time we started heading back. We went back in time to realize that while we were gone, the ice at the party had broken and everyone was getting along. So, in true MacRob style, we all sat in a circle and consumed food. Jen went on to consume half a chicken. Not kidding. I wish I was.

Er at some point I drank beer on an empty stomach and got a bit blurry but obviously nothing bad happened, because I’m not like that. So people started putting ice cubes down other people’s backs, and it may or may not have been at my instigation.

Anyway, at one point people started leaving, and as I saw two girls leave, I shouted, “BYE! NICE MEETING YOU!” only to realize I hadn’t actually spoken a single word to her. To correct myself of this mistake, I decided to introduce myself to the next new face I saw. The next new face I saw happened to be a name that I’ve heard many, many times previously, and with whom I share many mutual friends – Linh. So, you can imagine how creepy I was when I said, “LINH! Oh I know you! I know who your friends are! I FINALLY MET YOU!”

Lesson, children, don’t do that. Ever. Play it cool. Thankfully, she’s heard of me before too, but that didn’t stop her from noting that the awkward scale just went from 4 (random introduction) to 10 (admission to online stalking).

Lily showed up at, I don’t know, 4, and I finally managed to give her a birthday present, 2 months late. It was a toothbrush that played music for 2 minutes, in attempts to cut down her nightly bathroom ritual time. Also, it freaking played music into her mouth, man.

A bit after that, the BBQ drew to an end, and everyone dispersed. A large group decided to go to Fitzroy for milkshakes, and even though Julia, Annie and Tiff all left me, I had Jen, Steven, Brendan and James, and my newly made friend Linh (she kept on noting how awkward I was. I had to have Julia vouch that I was tired and usually I was rather sociable. Julia sort of nodded slowly and sarcastically).

The Milkshake place, whose actual name I forgot, is actually a pool arcade, so we all got our delicious milkshakes, and played some pool. I think I met more people at pool than I did at the BBQ, purely from making fun of one guy, Victor, who missed shots that first-timers would have managed.

When the games have been played and lost, and the milkshakes drank, we all headed back to Parliament. For some reason, the guys thought it would be a show of dexterity if we walked instead of caught the tram, so we had a nice cool dusk stroll back to the station, and I took the train home with Linh and Donuts (his last name is Duncan, so Dunkin’ Donuts. Get it?).

When I was at Glenny station I got stopped by this tall white guy who wanted to talk to me. He asked why Asians seemed to “only want to assimilate with their own kind, and not talk to others.” At that moment, I heard my mom honk to let me know she’s waiting, so I said “sorry, my parents are waiting.” He scoffed, and said, “I knew there was a get-out clause”, and walked off like I offended him. I thought, “How about ‘there was a my-parents-are-holding-up-traffic-at-a-busy-carpark?”

Some people need to calm down. He’s reading racism where there aren’t even text written.

At any rate, I had a busy night on Facebook last night, what with all the new adds and hellos (I made friends with the girl I forgot to make friends with as she left, and it turned out we had a LOT of mutual friends. Small, small world). I also got sunburned in the duration of an overcast day.

Alex.

Advertisements

You Hide From Consequence

[Opinions Won’t Keep You Warm At Night – Kisschasy]

Day 6 – A Stranger

Dear Stranger:

I have yet to meet you, but maybe you already know who I am. Okay, I know that’s creepy, but I don’t know everyone who knows me. Either way, I don’t know you.

Considering that I’m nearing my 19th birthday still single, I would dare say that my future partner is, at this moment, still a stranger. So, to you, stranger, I wonder if we’ll be great together?

To all those other platonic strangers out there: hey! I may seem weird at first but I implore you to give me a few moments, talk to me, get to know me, and you’ll see that “weirdness” is really just a sort-of-anagram of “awesomeness”.

Anyway, there isn’t really much I can say to someone I don’t know exists, so I shall end it here. But if you’re reading this and I don’t know you, feel free to drop a comment and say hi!

Alex.

The Name’s Face, Whore-Face

I suppose I could’ve used “The Name’s Whore, Man-Whore” but then it isn’t AS funny.

Julia caught up with us today! It was the best. Anna, Annie and I were eating at Melb Central (I was a fattie and had an All Stars Box). But before Julia came, we spent about 30 minutes sitting there watching a bunch of guys put fake 50 dollar bills on the floor, and watching everyone’s reaction walking past it.

There was a young teenage girl who’d walked past it, picked it up, saw it was fake and said out loud, “Oh damn I thought it was a 50 dollar bill!”

We came across Stoner as well. Stoner now looks like a full fledged girl, damn her!

After talking to Julia for a while, Anna needed to go back to class. So we dragged Julia along to Melb Uni (her being a Monash kid now). We met up with Josh, and promptly introduced Annie and Julia to him as a couple (don’t think he bought it, so it’s safe to say it here).

We sat around for a bit chilling (Suse joined us), while Anna decided to go to class half an hour early. I was making fun of Josh, and I suppose I might have taken his threat of “if you keep going I’ll pick you up and throw you into that bin” too lightly, because he did end up picking me up and running across the courtyard to throw me in a bin. (He didn’t actually throw me in, thank God.)

We then left, because Josh needed to meet up with Me-. So we went back to State Library, and upon meeting Me- the first thing she said to me after I introduced myself was, “Have I met you before?”

Thus started my trying to remember where I’d seen her familiar face. I’m still going, mind you.

Went to the station with Julia (Annie’d gone back to MU to find Anna for their wild night of partying), and saw Mai and E. Told Julia about the hilarious result of if Mai married E. Julia laughed.

Said bye to Julia, and took the train home with a whole bunch of red-jumpered MacRobbians.

Saw Amy on the bus (today is a day for seeing people. Except sadly on the train I didn’t see neither Fa, Catherine, Julia L nor Eunice Y).

And so later tonight I’m going to one of Zhen’s youth things – he promised there won’t be anything religious tonight so I won’t feel awkward.

I will now go check my Tumblr, and, if I have time, update again for a sort of musing/joke that happened yesterday.

Alex.

“Fatty”

Those were the reassuring first words that Mandy said to me upon our proper meeting last night. I was eating, and I hadn’t eaten since recess.

No, actually she said “hi” first, but social conventions aside, she called me fat.

Allow me to put it into context.

Last night was Eunice’s youth group Reverb’s night. I don’t know how to refer to them properly. Moving on.

Carmaine dropped us (Bianca and I) off at the place, and we went in, and were greeted firstly by the sound of Eunice’s laughter, and secondly by Arnold saying, “Hey it’s the famous BRuCE!” (Our reputation precedes us, so to speak.)

Shook hands with Arnold, sought out Pris who was very delighted to see us (and to finally see who “Bianca” is), saw Mandy, who said “hi” (but again I’m excluding that) and a few other people.

They were still cutting up the ingredients so I went over to the far table to start making inari bags (by the by, this was “Sushi night”). Saw Auntie there, and was rather glad to see her.

So, a few minutes in Mandy called for attention, and everyone introduced themselves around the room, saying their name and their favorite piece of clothing. Carmaine and Bee did very sweet things, and mentioned each other (aww). I accidentally implied I’m a nudist, and Eunice likes her school hoodie, which got dragged through the mud at Youth camp a few weeks back, and everyone knew about it.

So we moved on to start making the sushi since the ingredients were ready, and I managed to get away with standing by the table watching people make it and then eat it. Auntie, B.T. and myself did “wasabi shots” (not really) where we tried as much wasabi on a sushi roll as we dared and went for it. Eunice ate half an inari with wasabi in it, and started tearing, so she gave the other half to Pooki. Pooki dared not, and sort of half spat back up the food. Finally she ate a mouthful, and shuddered (hilariously) through the wasabi.

Speaking of spitting back up food, there was also a guide-dog-in-training, Zippy. Zippy was cute. Zippy was calmer than Eater anyway (not that Eater was there. I was making a comparison).

Pris got drawn on 3 times. I feel like I should mention it.

After everyone ate and was happy, we cleaned up and started the games. Started a game of Cranium (strange random but fun game) and got teamed up with a few strangers, which was a pity, as we really wanted BRuCE plus Pooki (or Pris). Either way, as the game progressed it became apparent that my team was winning, and would win. Then by some strange twist of “whoever wins this round wins” rule, we didn’t win. Still. Technically we were the victors.

There was a part of the game where we had to hum a famous tune to our team, and the first team to get it wins. The tune was Greensleeves and Pris and I were both going, “oh hell yeah we got this.” Then at the same time we realized we were both humming the Harry Potter theme in our heads.

Unfortunately, the night had to draw to a close. Carmaine took us back home again, then Bee dropped me off. I was stoked to have met Mandy in person, and to see Pris again, and everyone else were super awesome as well. Very fond memories were made. Including Carmaine humming “that’s the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh”.

Alex.

Insert Witty Title Here

Well, hey, I’m amazing but my awesomeness runs out at some point.

I don’t know why I thought I would do homework this morning. I should…but I can’t seem to find the…ceebness. I still have tomorrow morning a bit, and also tomorrow evening.

Anyway, I was going to write an extremely long blog about yesterday. But firstly, that takes too long and my fingers are cold, and secondly, I can’t recall a lot. NO Not because I got drunk, I know that what you all thought, but simply because all the good moments got smooshed together.

In a nutshell, yesterday was my last day as a kid. Carmaine and I (and Nat, but I spent most of the day with the Carminator) went to SonJ’s lunch at La Porchetta’s near QV Market. Dom came along, and so did Jen and ASH (met him met him. And he reads this. So HI ASH!) and Jack was there too.

Nat and Emily got lost. Yeah. Trust? Yeah…

April went with a guy called Si. Apparently I wasn’t meant to ask about him. He blogrolled me so…hi?

We ate, and we chatted and had heaps of fun. I owned Carmaine in iPhone hockey. Then, as SonJ was cutting the cake, she got me to go up. I don’t know why I didn’t tweak because the next thing I knew she got everyone to sing happy birthday to me too. How embarrassing.

Carmaine wanted a picture of Bel and Julia (it’s weird, but I think it’s best if I start phasing out Julinda now…yeah a variety of reasons but mostly because they don’t like it). They wouldn’t co-operate. So Carmaine calls out “JULINDA!”

Julia turned around. “Yea-DAMMIT!”

That happened again later on. I said if she responds to it 3 times it’s official. But she didn’t respond to it the third time.

We left at around 3 because Bianca was at Melb Central waiting for us. The four of us (Nat included, sorry) took the train back, and of course we talked about the formal. Ehh.

Excellent call of the morning? Dom was eating something and said “I was going to spit it out but then I swallowed it.” I followed with, “that’s what she said.”

WIN!

After that, I went home for a bit until it was time to go to Korean BBQ which I booked under Bee’s name. The boss got confused when my parents came to pay. They thought Bee was their daughter. And that wouldn’t make sense. Bee’s Goan. I’m Chinese. Even if you don’t know what Goan is it’s not Chinese at all.

Picked Bee up from her place. Got to the restaurant and we got the Karaoke room for freeeee! Four Seasons at Glen Waverley is AWESOME! Bee and I tried to figure out how to turn the machine on, pressing all the buttons (oh and before I forget. Carmaine says later “I like pushing your buttons.” I asked her if she knew what it meant. Her expression said no.) until the boss came up and told us the thing wasn’t on at the power switch.

Eunice arrived. She looked stunning yesterday. Did something special with her hair I think, and WOO! What a stunner. Yes I’m trying to embarrass you.

Annie arrived after yelling at me over the phone because SHE GOT THE ADDRESS WRONG AND NOT ME.

Charlie was downstairs, and I forgot to tell Annie that because she skitzed, wanting to see Charlie. I know that sounds a bit iffy. Whatever. I don’t take responsibilities after the way Annie yelled at me to go downstairs with her to see Charlie.

Fel arrived after that, and rather flamboyantly hugged me happy birthday. I pulled the trump card on her when I wanted something a certain way and she didn’t, and it was my birthday (the next day) so I won.

Carmaine was late by 20 minutes. I had to say it, sorry! Not that I minded. It’s a thing that you do now. It’s your thing.

Carmaine had her fringe all pinned up. I suppose to see it you’d have to go on Facebook when she has uploaded all her pictures.

Now, Carmaine also knew Charlie was downstairs, and at some point early on she thought Charlie had walked past our room to the bathroom. She proceeded to wait outside the bathroom to say hi to him. After 10 minutes she realized/decided the guy who walked past…wasn’t Charlie.

So we sang and we ate, and Eunice and Annie cooked most of the stuff. It was so good! Fel and Eunice did an amazing harmony duet to “I Believe I Can Fly” and Bee and Fel sang the Titanic song twice.

Eunice and I belted out “Dont’ Wanna Miss A Thing” at the end of the night. The restaurant was closing down and we were still singing. Mom and dad got annoyed waiting.

I now have a jacket and a shirt that smells beautifully of meat and kimchi.

Call of the night:

While singing Beyonce, Carmaine said to Bee, “Bee you sing it. You’re black!”

WIN!

Went to sleep, and when I kept on being woken up by well-wishers around midnight, I put my phone on silent.

Today I’m off to Jenny’s 18th. I think the irony is pretty obvious but I couldn’t care less. I’m going to have a lot of fun, dammit.

Alex.

BBQ

Yesterday I went on a BBQ that I was invited to by someone I knew from two years ago. I figured it would be okay. I ended up being introduced to a whole bunch of MHS guys who I either will never meet again or hope to never meet again.

But there was free food, which was a bonus. Although the Tim Tams melted in the sun (a guy dared another one to eat a melted Tim Tam, figure) and the picnic rug was a pale floral bedsheet and the mushrooms looked like brains, the sausages were good (oh, ha, ha) and the snacks were good. People brought heaps of soft drinks, and a small esky in which we tried to stuff a shitload of ice and meat in. It didn’t close.

Cathy and Ang- were there, and Ang brought her friend Andrew. I knew Cathy was gonna be there but it was a pleasant surprise to see Ang- there, and thank god too, because the four of us (including Andrew, who by the way in case you got confused is not the Andrew that belongs to Dani) just sat at a picnic bench and talked (it was by the Yarra, so it was windy, and I DEMANDED shade!). Then a guy called Keiran (I’m guessing that’s the male spelling) who’d previously thrown a Freddo at my head joined us, and threw half of Ang-‘s unwanted sausage into the river. We screamed at rowers and then when Linh came I managed to convince everyone that she was my second cousin (god I love that) and sparked a solid 3 minute debate on what second cousins actually are. I maintain that second cousins are when one of your parents is cousins with one of their parents. Others said it was your cousin’s cousin. I said, “That would be yourself.”

In the morning before the BBQ, Carmaine had a volleyball game at MSAC and when she finished she found me at Melb Central, and we went to RMIT to play pool (that’s fast becoming a regular thing. We’ll seriously end up being regulars there, even if we don’t go to RMIT in the future). We met (I met, Carmaine saw) Jack and Charles and Tom, all MHS guys going to the BBQ, and I played Carmaine twice, won once, and Jack did the same. I dubbed Carmaine “crazy ninja” because she always managed to get some pretty nasty shots in. For what it’s worth, the games were very close, for we all fought out with the 8-ball by the end.

Carmaine and I went to the BBQ only to have Carmaine leave almost immediately (but not before meeting Jalex (yes I realise the semblance to my previous blog, but these two are completely irrelevant) and subsequently…well I won’t say anything nasty but if you’d met Jalex then you’d too be…) and I picked up Cathy. Cathy, Ang-, Andrew and I left at around 2 promising to come back (we never did. The food ran out and everyone was getting bored) and we went into the CBD. We said bye to Ang- and Andrew at Dymocks and later April joined us. The three of us bought Bubble Cup (they need bigger menus for shorted sighted folks) and sat in front of State Library and talked. April and Cathy got along quite well! I think it was mostly because they were both DUX’s of Year 10 (nerds) and both had a boyfriend they gushed over.

Cathy left and April and I went to find some new shoes for her (her current shoes look like they’ve been to hell and back, and then had to make a return trip because it fell apart in Helllll) and at around 5 I found Carmaine again and we took the train home.

Because I was so late home, I ended up taking the bus and walking home from the bus stop. It pleased me that I wasn’t at all out of breath when I arrived home, nor were my parents scolding me for being late (I called in advance to say I’ll be home later, but I still expected a telling-off and a lecture on safety).

Aaaaand that was it for the week. Nada and zilch for the rest of the week (which suits me fine but also I want to see BRuCE again, god do I have absence withdrawal) and next week is officially the last week of unofficial holidays. Carmaine leaves next week. I hope that sentence has as much impact on others as it does on me.

De Fluffe, Out.