You’ll Never Know I’m After You

[Hold My Hand – New Found Glory]

Screw it, I’m starting song titles 5 days early. In case you’re a new reader/stalker of mine: I put portions of song lyrics in my title, so it really doesn’t have a thing to do with the rest of the blog. I was going to do it for summer, starting December, but I decided to start early.

So, today marked the last exam, and thus the end of the my first year at university. It was a really silly and anticlimactic end: my 9 am exam meant that I had to wake up at quarter past 6, and after getting my adrenaline going so I am awake and walking to uni to be healthy and all that crap, the exam turned out to be more of a test or quiz than anything. When the lecturer/examiner first told us that the first exit-time is 15 minutes past the start, we all giggled at the thought of walking out of an exam 15 minutes in.

15 minutes later, at the first exit-time, half the lecture theater where we did our exams stood up. 30 multiple choice questions, and quite a few of them were really easy. I won’t say that I did them all right, but it was pretty easy.

Pris and I left the exam disbelieving that we woke up early for this. We each called our respective friends to tell them we were done – and were both greeted with half-asleep “uhhhh-huhhhh”Β  because it was quarter to 10 in the morning, and everyone was still in holiday-sleeping time schedule.

I walked around Melbourne Central for about an hour looking for a present for Lily but…well I failed to find a good present (within my budget). So pretty much I’m a fail friend.

After sitting through the freaking clock singing AGAIN, Steven met up with me and we went and trawled Borders for another hour looking for a present for his friend. There were some pretty funny books – we looked in the self-help section – especially the “Statistics Taught in Manga” and they have this little TB manga girl being taught stats.

Anyway, now I’m home and ready to embrace the holidays. Anyone want to help with my social life? Anyone? Friends? No?

Alex.

It Was A Fun Day, It Was A Fail Day, It Was A Ducking Fantastic Day

That was a long title.

Today, instead of going to singing rehearsals (which I think now that I think about it, I was actually aware of last week, then forgot about until last night) I went out with Katherine again. We went to the city to “research” webcams, speakers etc. Also, I had to run errands.

Got to the Glen uber early because I couldn’t be bothered catching a bus so got mom to drop me off as she went to work, meaning I waited around at Maccas using their free wifi for about an hour. Got the 10:11 train, and Katherine got on at Mt Waverley. This doesn’t sound exciting. It isn’t.

Got to Melbourne Central and needed to pee. Then got Caramellatte. Still isn’t that exciting.

(What WAS funny, however, as right before I went into the bathroom I told Katherine to “stay here” and the look she gave me could only be described as “oh-no-you-didn’t-just-treat-me-like-your-dog”.)

So first of all we went to Myer to look at speakers. It took ages to find the entertainment section because we had to go down down down down.

Katherine also looked at cameras because she wants a DSLR. Anyone gonna help her out? Didn’t think so.

By the way, and this has been bugging me all day; to my friends: do any of you use Versace New Woman? Because Katherine was wearing it, and I SWEAR I know someone else who wears it but I cannot for my LIFE remember who. It would, I assume, be someone who I get close enough to smell. Just ignore how ducking perverted I sound right now.

I think that’s the bottle. Google does tend to duck with me sometimes.

Then we left Melbourne Central and went to Bourke St to head for JB. We went into Target first, and got lost. I told her to “ask the Asian chick!” but she refused to. “We can find it ourselves!” “You’re such a guy!” “What?!” “Guys never ask for directions.” “FINE I’ll ask the Asian chick!”

Then we got out of Target and went into JB. This is gripping stuff this is.

We saw the speakers that she wanted. Z4 or something? She gasped. Then saw the pricetag. She gasped again.

Well, at this point (and I just consulted Katherine who also has “NO idea”) I forgot the chain of events, so I’ll just throw in stuff that happened and hopefully the universe doesn’t collapse into itself in a mess of chronological mess.

Mess of…chronological…mess. I need to sleep.

At some point we traversed Russel St. We walked around in the shade (thank you vampirism). We walked a hell of a lot. We went to the Dirt Cheap Books store. Haha. Ha. I made Katherine look at a book about sex or something naughty starting with S. I found it funny. She found it fit to simply walk away from me. I tried calling her name but to no avail. I contemplated using the tried-and-true “MARCO POLO” tactic but felt it not emergency enough.

At some other point I took Katherine to the “secret shop” that Eunice once showed me except she’s been there before with another Alex. We looked at PostSecret books and random books. She found this book called “Wreck This Journal”. At the back of the book, it says “tape this book together, and mail it to yourself!” I think I might actually mail it to her.

At some other point we traversed Elizabeth St. That was painful on my feet too. We walked into a lot of electronic stores. Most of the time I just whinged about how Katherine doesn’t watch FRIENDS, and never has.

(I started marathon-ing Season 2 of FRIENDS again last night. I gotta say that summer when I marathon-ed it all was such a wonderful summer. Michelle, can I borrow all of them again?)

At some yet other point we ate lunch. Had an interesting conversation at lunch. It was interesting because I made Katherine talk and eat. You know she doesn’t do either in public right? Apparently she doesn’t sing in public either. I mean. Who doesn’t or hasn’t once sung in public?

At some yet other other point I ran my errand. We went to National Geographic and I got Eunice her Sea Monkeys.

At some fail point I started going up in the down escalators because my brain said, “No one is going to that one, it’s empty!”

Finally, we were bushed. We were so bushed we decided to find a place to sit down except the downstairs foodcourt at Melb Central was too hot and one of the good couches upstairs was taking by a really PDA couple (there was a lot of space next to them – they were REALLY PDA – but yeah we thought it would be WAY awkward to go sit with them).

So we went down to the Basement and found a couch to crash on. Listened to Katherine’s iPod. Then this group of guys came down and sat on the couch next to us and it was majorly awkward turtle ‘cos we just basically sat still and pretended we weren’t there. Then they left. So we had the gummy people I bought her, and I made her drop one in my mouth except she missed (I swear, oh my god, my mouth was 10 cms from her hand. She missed).

At some point after that we took the train home together after I made her take Glenny with me (the guilty puppy face actually works on her. Wow.) and we tried to solve the Sudoku except I ducked it up. Then we were doing the crossword, and 16-across was “Ass-like”. I wrote “Katherine” next to it.

I guess I can’t be bothered explaining the huge in-joke behind that except just simple to direct you towards “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas.

There was a clue that was “seize”. So far we had _rap___ and at the same time both of us wondered out loud, “Crapture?”

After she left I was sending her a text and I tried to write the f word except it came out as “duck”. I think that’s how I’m going to swear as from now on.

Well, I was aiming for 1000 words and I hit it.

Alex.

P.S. Apparently singing rehearsals sucked. Yay. (Annie…Annie…ah duck it)

P.P.S. 14 days ’til Sorrento!

Oh my retinas and eardrums…

Today was Mai’s Karaoke thing at K-Box.

So I got to Melbourne Central uber early to eat lunch by myself (aww). I had cravings for Nandos chips from the night before, so I went and got myself the chips, some Coke, and sat down in front of the Everywhere Internet terminals and ate while being on Facebook (I invested in an account earlier this year. Go me).

Then at around 3 I went down to the clocks, to wait for the 3:45 meetup. The clock was singing Waltzing Matilda when I sat down.

I had to go around the seats twice before squeezing myself in a spot between two people. They left after I tried to get between them. Oops.

Sat there and started reading Hard Times while tourists took photos of the clock above my head.

Tam, Hao and co. arrived and then the others left. I managed to convince Hao to stay.

Then, when I went to the bathroom and returned, Hao had left. Tam said her mom wasn’t happy.

Tam went off to buy her formal dress. Good organization skills, there.

Al-, Thy, Mel and Emily showed up, and then went upstairs to the foodcourt whilst I stayed at my post, too lazy to move.

At 4 Mai had arrived. I sat through the clock AGAIN!

We waited a long time for Diep but she didn’t show up, so we went to K-Box. It was windy.

We waited at K-Box for a while for reasons that were beyond my comprehension, and then went inside when Diep showed up.

Karaoke scares me, especially when they do it. Plus they picked Ashlee Simpson and Britney Spears. Ehhhh

Before you could say “Japanese Karaoke” Al- and the others had whipped out their cameras, switched on flash and started burning out my retinas. Diep at some point actually randomly pointed the camera around the room and went “flash flash flash flash” until I SWORE I was blind.

Jenny arrived after that.

Sang a few more songs (rather I watched them do it), like Iris, As Long As You Love Me, Barbie Girl etc.

Had to leave at 5:30 because Emily needed to, and we were taking the train together. My eardrums were bleeding from all the enthusiastic screaming Mai did.

And now I HAVE CRIMINAL MINDS that I’m being late for.

Hold on while I knock the ringing out of my head.

Alex.

Happy birthday, Mai.

Just being evil

Today I caught up with Pooki and her friend Mic-. They were at NGV for Top Arts or something and so we took the train home together. Eunice came with us, of course.

Eunice and I met up with Pooki and Mic- at Melb Central and I got a mini frozen coke (which, for a dollar, is seriously worth it). We then walked around Melb Central so Pooki can go shopping. Anyway so they went into Cocolatte (which I thought was a drink they wanted…sadly) and so I sat outside, my bag being too big. Mic- joined me after a while, and then Eunice and Pooki dumped their stuff with us.

Mic- said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they came out and we were gone with their stuff?”

It took one second for me to chuckle and decide. We stood up, took their stuff, and walked off. We went to Colorado which was upstairs and just had a chat about Pooki, school, pranks we’ve pulled etc.

It took them nearly 15 minutes to call back, they spent that long in Cocolatte. Then we went into Colorado and sat on the couch, hiding Eunice’s bag in the cushions, agreeing to pretend, “Bag? Did you give us your bag? I don’t remember you giving us your bag.”

It didn’t work. The cushions were rather obvious.

So then we went down to the platform and I was going to get off at Richmond for Carmaine and Bee, who were behind us, but it was raining at Richmond and I didn’t want to get wet. Then they called and said they were on the 41 but at that point, more or less, I didn’t get off.

On the train we were discussing comebacks and whatnot. Mic- said that someone had done an awesome one on Pooki.

They were playing Taboo, and Pooki had the word “compliment”. She couldn’t get it across, so TeeTee (I mentioned this before. But I’ll say it again; I don’t call him TeeTee, Pooki does. I do it to censor his name) said he’d help her. He said, “Ah, [Pooki], you’re looking very beautiful today.” And someone said, “I know what that is! That’s a LIE!”

It rained today. That’s good. Won’t do much for our water catchment but at least it waters gardens and washes cars.

Alex.

Happy birthday Hamwu!

Got a fair amount to write about today. So here goes:

Before I get to Andrew’s surprise dinner, I just want to say that today I finally pinpointed why Jack (the tutor)’s laugh is so strange.

IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE DR. HIBBERT FROM THE SIMPSONS!

Alright, so after I finished at my 12:30 session at Jack’s, during which I sat next to 2 strangers and I had Biro, Zhu- and Mon- 2 rows behind me (Jack kept on calling Zhu- “Zohan”) I went to take a train from Springvale up into the city. Springvale, let me say now, is dodgy. I was there on a Sunday afternoon, no EASTER Sunday afternoon, and I felt its dodginess. Imagine a Thursday night. Brr.

Organized to meet April under the Clock (from now on I will refer to “under the clock at Melb Central” as “UCMC”) at around 3:30. So I got there and started playing my DS, and I get a text from her saying that she’d had some ticket inspectors get on the tram and she didn’t have any coins (nor a ticket, obviously). She told me later that when she saw them get on, she kind of said loudly into her phone, “Oh oh okay, I’ll get off right now, see you later!” And walked from Flinders to Melb Central. All that happened was I got an extra 15 minutes of game time.

We went in search for places that are open – toilets first. Had a joke along the way that the only things that are open are ones run by Asians. Not much had proven otherwise as we went up to the bathroom near Nandos on the upper level of Melb Central. One stall was out of toilet paper and the other blocked. Went down to the one near Bubble Cup near the turnstiles. On the way down, we went down an escalator that had stopped. I said to April, “See, this escalator is run by white people. And the one next to us which is still on is run by Asians. Equal job opportunities, but we just work harder.”

Went down Swanston to Starbucks on Lonsdale (I’m getting used to the street names…finally) and sat outside on a bench because the seats were taken (the Starbucks had to be run by Asians). Then a couple in a SmartCar pulled up and parked right beside us. We started laughing at the car because it looked like a normal car with its arse chopped off. The guy went into the cafe to get a drink, and his girlfriend appeared to be trying to sleep in the car. I wondered why she didn’t just recline back when I realized that if she’d reclined her seat she would break through the back of the car.

Sophie came later, and we went up to UCMC, where some people were already waiting. Then, Soph’s boyfriend whose name is rather distinct so I won’t write it here, he came with a Scream mask – as he was going to a costume party later. When Andrew and Dani came – AND IT WAS A SURPRISE! Andrew kept saying how sneaky Dani was – there was about a 5 minute gap between them coming and us leaving, during which SBF (Soph’s boyfriend) went around ghosting people (ghosting, like Hamish and Andy ghosting) in the mask. He followed 2 Asian guys who noticeably walked faster and faster to get away from him. And all we did was stand in a group and giggle. Actually, we walked down Swanston to Red Silks with him in the mask, and an Asian guy took a picture with him and got a hug (we all laughed) and 4 TB Asian girls went past him and started giggling hysterically. Soph is a lucky girl.

Winston gave Andrew 2 huge stuffed animals, a bear and a monkey. I don’t know what he ended up naming them. So the 2 large (when I say large, I mean they’re about the size of my upper body head inclusive) animals went with us into China Town.

I think at this point I should mention the presence of Doug and Kat (or Cat…sorry I didn’t ask), and that Dani gave Andrew a new manly watch. During dinner, the group was split into two. To be blunt, one table were the Asian TBs and gangsters, and the other one was the couples table, except for April, another dude whose name I forgot, and myself. I sat opposite Doug. So Andrew was trying to figure out how to set the time on the watch, and must’ve said something like “wow it has so many functions!” because when I went into the conversation, I heard Doug joking about a watch that had an irony meter – so you don’t look stupid saying something is ironic when it isn’t. Then Dani said that it could also have a Gay-Dar. Doug pretended to go “bip bip bip BEEP BEEP BEEP” when it “pointed” at Dani, and I added, “Dani would probably say, ‘baby, there’s something I need to tell you.’ ‘I ALREADY KNOW!'” And Doug finished with, “At this point the irony meter would probably go off.”

So from that point on all through the night everytime I said irony we would pretend the “irony meter” went off.

Kat, Doug’s girlfriend, is good at singing. And Red Silks decided to play a collection of the sappiest love songs, to which Kat knew most of the lyrics. She would burst into song, which also meant she couldn’t eat. I made the remark that if she sings to every song she knew, she’d never finish her meal. Later on came a song she hated, and she said, “Oh good I get a chance to eat now!”

And, a final mini story. SBF ordered the Kiao Teow, which Red Silks does a bit spicy. SBF was sweating as he was eating it, remarking how much he loves it, and Soph decided to try a bit. Soph does NOT do well with chilli, and started gulping down water. So April handed Soph her water, and I handed Soph mine, and then I took Kat’s to give to Soph. She sat there for 4 minutes afterwards just trying to get the feeling away. In the meantime, Kat and I had a sound argument over whether milk or water is better when dealing with chilli.

So, that was the end of the night. Everyone went to Dani’s place but I had to go home, so I don’t know what happened afterwards. But it was a great night, and SBF in the mask is unforgettable. (Like when he tried to do the Spiderman kiss with the mask half off and it wouldn’t come off.)

Alex.

Dr Manhattan vs Heck

Yesterday I went to see Watchmen with Carmaine. My title was just a reference to the fact that the actor who acted as Ozymandias, Matthew Goode, was also Heck from Imagine Me And You. Heck was a very nice bloke who had the misfortune to marry Rachel who falls in love with Luce, but Ozymandias tried to salvage humanity being all hardcore and super killer and philosophical. So it was amusing for me. Plus Ozy’s accent confused me.

I went to have lunch with Dani and Andrew first, at Red Silks (FINALLY! It’s a pretty good place) and Wins- came later. We talked for a bit, I tried to play TapTap Revenge 2, and then we went to Dani’s place. I stayed only for a bit because at 3 I had to meet up with Carmaine at Melb Central, under, of course, the clock. (I still remember the time when Jen literally waited UNDER THE CLOCK and it took me a few minutes to see her) Dom and D.P. were there so we chatted for a bit but I was late so we rushed upstairs – I started going downstairs by accident, habitual you see – and bought the tickets and popcorn and sat down to a rather filled cinema.

I don’t think I will give a review of Watchmen, mostly because I haven’t yet understood a lot of the things that happened. But I will say the gory parts were definitely good…I mean gory. Guts, blood, severed hands, oo-rah. Plus DrΒ  Manhattan is a fucking gun! I can see why they say he was God.

Yesterday was pretty cold too, which was lovely because I had my warm jacket with me. It was black, and so was Dani’s outfit, and so was Andrew’s. Walking down Swanston was interesting, as all three of us were pretty much black.

Not much going on from this point on, until next Tuesday when I watch Monsters Vs Aliens with Eunice and some of the younger siblings she is associated with. I can’t wait until Thursday, because Cathy and I are going to finally hang out again! Oh and see Comedy Festival, of course.

Alex.