Whenever I’m Alone With You

[Love Song – Anberlin] (They covered it, I think, so it’s not their original, but I don’t know whose it is…)

I just discovered (yes, just) and fell and in love with the site My Mom is a Fob.

Bad timing, seeing as my assignments are coming in soon.

Anyway, this encapsulates Asian parents:

I got this email from my mom right after Mother’s Day. Some stuff had happened that weekend that got to me, and I guess my mom could sense it. I think, this is more sentimental than anything, but wanted to share (even if was from a while back ago).

I like letting you know, every time when you have any problem or difficulty, your are not alone, you could call us any time or just come home and talk with us, some time life is up and down, happiness and sadness, we are always behind you, supporting you, that is what family value stand for…

Also, yesterday in Angie’s wedding I almost could not recognized you, because your make up. In Korean drama, they always have a saying ” Woman’ heavy make up made them fake”. So, try to learn natural make up matter, because that will show our truly faces, and men like that for sure, especially Asian men (you can ask Dad for that). The last thing I like to mention is Health- I change my life style, try to sleep early during the night, when you work whole day in front of computer, save your eye, and give your eye and liver a rest time. That will help your skin too. Next weekend if you like to have a hot pot together at home let me know I will prepare for it. Dad and I, we like you have a happy, healthy, and a strong faith life, always PRAY and THANK to GOD. Love MOM

Basically, “we love you, okay, now, you need to fix yourself”. It was like when Poh came 2nd on the 1st season of Masterchef Australia, and the judge asked her mom whether she’s proud of her daughter cooking so well in Malay cuisines, and her mom said, “yes, but she chopped and changed a lot of things”. Asian parents will NEVER stop at “yes we’re proud” there is ALWAYS a “but they screwed up”.


My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.

“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”

I was on my way to my internship via subway in Korea one summer and this 60-year old man decided he wanted to hit on me. He came over and told me he would give me his name card and after I rejected him I texted my mom to tell her what happened. Her reply: “psycho like that need to get their penis thin sliced. mommy good at cooking and chopping, i do it for you. take his name card.”

It snowed a ton in New York not too long ago, and my mom, who is from California had this to say on me making a snowman, via her new favorite form of communication, text message:

Mom: Exciting! Try to make a female snowman!
Me: Will do mom
Mom: Take a picture of it! Make sure the cup size is 40 DDD!

My mom just learned to text the day before:
Dear d Sure i wil meet you at time 7p square soon no 7p it is a tzphgg typing earror soppps Oh i give up

Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it’ll take them longer and you can escape.

So my mom is a VERY protective mother. This is what happened after she watched a 60 minutes special on Online Predators. I’m watching a Video Blog on Youtube…

Who is that guy?
Me: I don’t know
Mom: Why is he talking to you??
Me: It’s a video…

“My parents’ intent was to name me Stephanie.”

-Staphanie Tung

Dear Felicia:

How are you doing? Back to school always exited, right ? say hi to your lovely girl freinds and all those sticky boys for me lol ,ahhh, i like this word lol, it looks like somebody hands a ball to me. Capital LOL likes people are kicking a ball. Lol like a ball find a hole to slip away from cage (this is what i feel when i drove you to airport), lOl looks like I am squeezing Chang Yi’s cheeks. lOL Ahhh…….. I am leaning on a comfortable cushion…….ahhhhhhh…………………….


Mom: Why is Eminem controversial? Is it because he’s a white guy who acts black?
Me: I dunno. Some people think he’s misogynistic.
Mom: What? [looking really offended]
Me: It means that he hates women.
Mom: [still offended] Why would you say something like that to me?
Me: Misogynistic? I know it’s not a common word, but I explained what it meant.
Mom: Why would you say in front of your mother that he’s… [flustered] massaging his d*ck?!?!?

Okay that’s it for today. GO ON THE SITE!