I Can Count On You Like 4-3-2

[Count On Me – Bruno Mars]

I think I can hit 15 posts a month this month! WOW! It shouldn’t have been so hard but oh boy…

Yesterday I caught up with Cathy and what I’ve come to associate as “Cathy’s Group” for a joint birthday picnic. I went into the city early because my parents offered to drop me off at the station. I took the opportunity to stroll from Flinders to Melb Central – though, with the number of people in the city yesterday, it was a slow walk – and bumped into Mo- and Bon along the way. There was a moment of slight stalkerism when I did a double take to get Mo-‘s attention, but because they responded to my call, I think I was redeemed.

Spent quite a lot of time trying to buy a present. I think, from now on, if I decide to buy feminine jewelery, I’m going to try to dress more appropriately for the store, because I walked into Diva and it felt like I had neon arrows pointing at me with the label “DOES NOT BELONG HERE”.

I did manage to find presents for both Cathy and Anna – a rather cute bracelet for Anna, and a rape whistle for Cathy (it looked really cool and had real leather for the strap and I felt like it could see Cathy through her Europe Trip) – and then walked around Borders trying to find one more overdue birthday gift, only to realize I had no more money on me for such purposes, so I started wandering back to the clock where everyone was meant to meet.

Almost had to use the rape whistle when Pearl tried to hug me from behind to surprise me. Her and Sheina had gotten to the city early, and they’d just arrived at the clock as well. There was a Diet Coke retail therapy sort of area near the clock, with couches, so the three of us did some “free advertising” for them by sitting there and drinking their free hand-outs and looking like we were having a good time. It turned out to be a blessed rest, because Cathy and Carey took over half an hour to finally arrive.

After they’ve arrived, followed shortly by Jalex, it was nearly 4 pm. Cathy mentioned that she wanted to go to the Fitzroy Gardens, and that she “had a general idea” where it was. Unfortunately, her general idea included walking around the entire Parliament house instead of cutting through Parliament Square. It wasn’t that hot yesterday, but the walk was long enough for complaints to be warranted.

So we finally found the park, and a lovely shaded spot to have our picnic (which wouldn’t have been complete without an exploding bottle of coke). Halfway through, Jack mentioned that he needed the bathroom, and completely missed the fact that when we pointed vaguely into the park saying “there, there, there”, we were actually pointing at various trees he could go behind. After a few minutes of him looking aimlessly past the trees, he wandered off in the opposite direction to find an actual toilet building.

Perhaps 5 or 10 minutes later, he came wandering back, and the first words that escaped from his mouth were, “Okay, don’t go to the boys’ bathroom. There was a beat going on in there.”

His twin, Alex, responded immediately, “Oh my god, really? What happened?”

It turned out that there is actually a word for when males solicit sex in the toilets: BEAT, and poor Jack had walked in on one such male waiting for a client. His harrowing experience thus led to a full explanation of glory-holes – I learned something yesterday, and I’m not sure if I wanted to learn it. (Especially certain things about MHS.)

With the time nearing 6pm, and the winds picking up strong enough for us to be cold, we packed up our little picnic and decided to head back for Melb Central to meet up with Angie. On the way back to Parliament station, we passed the Hyatt (which was convenient because I actually was worrying about finding it on Friday but now I know where it is), and Alex said he wanted to use the bathroom (and none of us wanted to use the park bathroom after what we were told). We were worried that we couldn’t just waltz into the freaking Hyatt and use the bathroom, but Alex did anyway, and he came out full of praises about how extravagant the place was. At his words, the girls (Cathy, Sheina, Pearl and I) and Jack decided that we’d go as well – if anything just to see what it’s like inside. (Needless to say, it was obviously very glamorous and high-class, but that’s not my story yet.)

When we were done and about to leave the bathroom, Sheina mentioned that we should do the obligatory bathroom shot, especially since we were in a bathroom in the Hyatt, where there were vases. I was holding the door open, saying that we should just leave, when Jack showed up and saw that we were trying to take photos. I don’t know what he was thinking, or if he was thinking at all, but he stepped into the girls’ bathroom, grabbed the camera, and while just on the threshold of the bathroom, started taking photos of the other girls while I hid behind a door, disbelieving.

In that exact moment, a complete stranger walked into the bathroom, and I could only imagine what she was thinking as she saw Jack standing there with a camera, pointing into the bathroom. Cathy and I hauled ass as fast as we could – I just really didn’t want to get blacklisted before Friday – and managed to hold our laughs in until outside the hotel.

When we made it back to Melb Central, the Diet Coke retail therapy had been cordoned off, but because all the seats around the clock were taken, they decided to sit in there anyway. We caught up with Jackie O (oh I like writing it like that), who I haven’t seen since the first time I met her, and waited there for Angie to show up. When she finally did, she did so in the most fashionable way (late, and incredibly well dressed in her Forever New outfit because she worked there and had to leave her job at Myer and ergh what a successful girl) with Richard (i.e. Exclamation Mark guy from Pearl’s Flare performance). I was surprised to hear that they all knew and wanted to go to Giraffe cafe, and after having Jalex yell at her about how adorable the place is, Angie and Cathy thought they would check it out.

Since the last time I was at Giraffe wasn’t exactly the happiest of times, I was determined to have some fun this time around. It turned out to be pretty damn easy to do it – we started off with a game of Jenga, and my GOD that game is intense! Everyone starts breathing in sync and I’m pretty sure I was telepathically linked to my fellow game-mates Jackie and Pearl for a while there. In the end, it was Jackie’s gusto that led to her demise, as the tower came crashing down on her otherwise fluid extractions.

After Jackie left, the drinks and foods started arriving. When they’ve been adequately consumed (but not wholly), one of the waitresses brought out the birthday brownies for Cathy. Poor girl didn’t light the candles up when she brought it in, instigating some sighs from Alex. And when she tried to light it at the table, her lighter failed on her.

Another round of Jenga ensued, but this time we noticed that a table behind us were creating architecturally radical designs, and that prompted Carey to do the same. Things became ridiculous when pieces were stacked vertically on top, or on a slant. When the tower fell, a piece fell into Cathy’s ice cream. This prompted Jack to say, “Are you still going to eat that now that woody’s been in it?”

The day was finished off with a more than jovial ticket barrier lady at Melb Central. Cathy’s ticket got eaten by the machine, and so the lady stood there and had a chat with us about what we could possibly do to get the ticket back out. When the ticket finally came out, the lady took a look at it and tsked, “well, here’s your problem it’s expired.” Off Cathy’s startled shriek, she broke into a grin, “Just kidding! Have a happy new year!”

I think all staff should be like that. Enjoying their job and not putting other people down.

WELL, over 1500 words! It was a long, eventful and HILARIOUS day! There were many stories I didn’t put down for the sake of Sheina’s privacy (oops?), but maybe that sentence will at least jog my own memory.

Happy New Year, everyone, I won’t be writing in here until after we hit 2011. (I will queue up a post for midnight, though!) Have a safe few days, and may 2011 be better than 2010 if you had a shit 2010, or be better than 2010 even if you had a good 2010.

Alex.

Advertisements

Jagged Watermelon

Today, I went to Steven’s birthday BBQ. It was in Doncaster. Do you know how LONG it takes to get to Doncaster on a Saturday public transport timetable? On the way home, we didn’t have anything planned, and as things turned out, it took over 2 hours to get home.

Anyway, backtrack to morning. I got up UBER early and arrived at Steven’s BBQ at 10, and BEFORE he did! Hung out with Clem, Swang and a few of his other friends for, oh, an hour or two, before people slowly started showing up – no other girls showed up until Tracy, at around 12:30 or something.

Steven’s mom got a LOT of meat, and we cooked about half of it, and it fed the 15-odd hungry teenagers there. That’s how much meat there was. Elaine came along some 30 minutes before Mandy and Dot (even though Mandy first made contact with Jacky for instructions on how to get to the park around 15 minutes before Elaine arrived). In fact, the getting-to-the-park became a much favored topic of conversation – Big-Head arrived sweaty, and told me he had gotten off the bus 5 stops too early, and walked perhaps 2 km in the full sun and uphill.

There was a Nerf gun at the party, and we tried to shoot a can with it – which soon changed to shooting at Jacky. Mandy couldn’t seem to figure out the mechanism, and in trying to teach her, Jacky shot her in the face. Everyone “OHHHH”ed at that.

Susan was also lost, and she needed to be picked up by car. I asked Clem to pick her up, but he said, “I don’t know what she looks like! I don’t want to pick up random chicks!” Sureee he doesn’t. In the end, Brendan (not Whitty), who knows Susan and can drive, picked her up.

Viv arrived without too much problem, and she gave me a really nice hug. This was particularly important because she commented her concern on my blog before, and I had to mention it.

Later on, Jo L and Anna showed up, and after eating a LOT for their small figures, they made what they called Daisy Chains with Dot, put them on their heads, and took 50 photos of themselves (I saw this on their camera later on).

Brendan noted that I made fun of Swang a lot – but I think he doesn’t understand the love between us. I bag her but I do it with love – and she is the same. It’s all good!

I tried to make a new nickname for Elaine catch on, but it wasn’t working out. I can’t explain the nickname because it has something to do with her last name, but you can trust me when I say that it is an amazing nickname.

Susan was thirsty, and there were no more drink left, so she cut up the last of the watermelon. She decided to be arty with a big knife – which scared me – and tried to cut jagged pieces, like teeth. It actually worked.

The day ended when Mandy finally won a game of Big-2, after Jacky let her win. He had a winning hand, but she wouldn’t leave until she won, and it was getting late.

Mandy, Anna, Dot, Joanne and I took the bus home. At Nunawading station we just missed a bus, and ended up waiting 30 minutes for the next one. Like I said, it took me over 2 hours to get home.

Happy birthday Steven!

Alex.

If You Jump I Will Jump Too

[Skyway Avenue – We The Kings]

This is again posted by Jenny, because my computer isn’t back yet.

I have to smush both Tuesday and Wednesday together because I’ve left it too long and some memories have faded! See, old age is getting to me.

On Tuesday, I went into the city for Nat’s farewell lunch. Pris took the train up with us; she didn’t get her 2nd round offer with RMIT so she’s gonna be stuck in my course.

Met up under the clock, as always, and waited ’til everyone got there. Nat wanted to go up to Lygon St, so we went up to Papa Gino’s and had pizza. The only funny thing I can remember was Raj’s story about how Q.H. once brought her own tupperware to a restaurant and put all the food in at the end to “save money”. Ahh Asians.

After lunch we went to get Gelati, and sat down in a park to eat them. I had to leave early to meet up with Jenny so I got directions to the tram stop. Unfortunately I walked the wrong way and had to go back. It was hot!! Finally got back onto a train. Got off at Mt Waverley and met up with Jenny at the library. Giggled at all the school kids and then went to Glenny and just sat around at the food court. I sneezed so loudly it echoed all around the foodcourt.

I walked home, in the heat. By the time I reached my front door I was literally dripping with sweat. Disgusting huh?

That night was the return of NCIS. Finally got Jenny interested in it.

On Wednesday it was Cathy’s farewell (it’s a bit sad that so many people are going). We had a picnic at Alexander’s Gardens. Met a lot of new people, friends of Cathy’s (Ming aka Dimitri, Pe-, Shie- Jackie, Theresa, Amy etc), and also caught up with the Jalex twins. There was so much food! But as the good Asians we were we ate and ate and ate. Then the cameras got whipped out and Jack took charge as the weird creepy photographer. Some pretty disturbing pics were taken, but thank God some good memories were captured too.

After Angie left for her lecture, we went to Photoplus and I got forced to take pictures! It took them about half an hour for them to just decorate it. Before Photoplus, I just remembered, they tried to walk into Club X. I waited outside, because you know, I don’t want to go in there. After that we went to Chaplin on Little Bourke, a Korean karaoke joint. It looked great! Got stuck into the singing (and some dirty dancing on their behalf. I felt that who needs Club X? Ok yeah that’s creepy.

Sam picked “When You’re Gone” by Avril Lavigne which nearly brought Cathy to tears. Oh Cathy I will miss you so much!!

Went home after Chaplin. I have yet to find a way to go to the airport on Tuesday when Cathy takes off. Cue tears!

Well, that’s it for now. Thanks Jenny for posting!

Alex.