A Vinyl Queen From A Surfer’s Dream

[Miss Delaney – Jack’s Mannequin]

Day 5 – Your Dreams

Dear Dreams,

I don’t know which one they’re referring to so I guess…to my dreams, literally, I would say: Hey, thanks for entertaining me all these years! I know sometimes we haven’t been on very good terms with each other; you sometimes lie to me and show me things I wish were true but are not, and then when I realize that they’re not to be, your comforting fog is nowhere to be seen.

Sometimes you take the things that scare me the most, the secrets that I don’t tell anyone, and you show them to me, like you’re taunting me. You would throw me down a flight of stairs, off a building ledge, take away all my friends, accelerate my car off the highway, throw me into the deep ocean, toss me into hungry flames…and, again, when I am awake and about to beat the crap out of you for scaring me, you’d already ran away.

But, sometimes, we’re friends. You sometimes show me how to solve problems, and you warn me of how horribly wrong events can go so that I can avoid them. You let me soar through the sky, break through walls, and most of all you make going to bed pleasant. So for that, thank you. For everything else, screw you.

To my metaphoric dreams, that is, my hopes and plans for the future: Hey, one day you and me are gonna get together and make so many Happiness babies it ain’t gonna be funny, so I hope you’re prepared for that. For now, I may seem to be taking my time but I swear I am working my way to you as fast as I can. But, please, ’til then, don’t give up, keep waiting, and for FUCK’s sake don’t die!

Alex.

P.S. I didn’t even realize ’til now that my title has the word ‘dream’ in it and I totally didn’t notice it, let alone intend it.

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Monash Uni Camp 2009

On Monday and for a good half of today I was on my Monash Uni camp, at where else but Monash University?

Since it was a 2 day thing, I might cut a few things short. And we’ve had so many laughs and jokes and good one-liners that I can’t remember them all. I’ll try my best to see what comes to mind.

Got up early (but not as early as I’d have to get up tomorrow) and picked up Bianca and Fel from Bee’s house. Were one of the first ones (ish) to get there, but waited around for Carmaine and Eunice so we ended up being one of the middle-last ones to register. I was in a room with Carmaine while Bianca, Eunice, Mary, Fel and EmPow were in the next room. Actually, they’re like clusters of rooms, so as 48 and 49 Carmaine and I were in one cluster with 47, 46 and 45. And as 50 and onwards, the others were in the next cluster. We had no idea where our rooms were so it took some walking around to get there. Who the hell knew G stood for Ground level?

Started the camp off with the “Conference Housekeeping” (ah gotta love the program sheet). Were told what to do, what not to do, that it’s a school camp, etc. Were told lights out at 11. Oh what a story that became. For future references, every one of our “conference sessions” were held in a large theatre. For all but 2 sessions I sat in the front row with BRuCE, and most of the time Dani.

After the Conference Housekeeping came the Study Sensei, which wasn’t in Japanese. It was held by two girls called Sam and Laura, the former being 24 but we all thought she was about 18-19, and I still don’t know how old Laura is but she looked a bit younger. They told us various ways to study and to take notes, and what is a good thing to do, what is not, etc. They told us that exercise books are not a good idea. I thought “psh, I just bought them, no way I’m going to looseleaf now.” Laura played a memory game with us, trying to make us remember information about her family and life. I think that was the only interesting part of it all.

Had morning tea, which was basically everyone cramming into the common room grabbing at drinks and biscuits. Then we went to VCE Enrolment, where we filled out those mandatory forms and signed those legal releases. Then we were told about the sports activities for the afternoon.

Had lunch, in the dining hall, which in so many ways made us think of a Chinese restaurant – all that was missing were the soy sauce and chopsticks. Halfway through lunch, something happened that made Carmaine spill water onto her crotch. Luckily she was wearing tights so the discomfort is only known to her, no one else could see. We had a loud laugh and Bee sighed and asked no one in particular, “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

We then went to the sports activities. I signed up for Tennis but it took ages for the gate to be opened, so much so that Bianca, Shaz and EmPow left and went back to the rooms. Bianca and Shaz didn’t come back to play, but EmPow did. Fel and I rallied (that is, tried) a few times with Jenko and Gif-. Then we played singles for a while, before EmPow came back. After a while, Carmaine and Eunice joined us, and EmPow, and those two and I played a few rallies. I got rather sunburnt (again). Actually, I was wearing a wristguard (weak wrist) and I have a rather distinct tan line of where the wristguard starts and ends. I was rather puffed out and tired at the end of the game. And later that night when I had a chance to look into the mirror I was tomato red. When I got back to the room, I had a quick rinse in the shower and went out to afternoon tea. Then, back to the Deakin Theatre to listen to our principal talk, and then Miss K- talked to us about VCE stuff. Not much is what we haven’t heard, or know, but it was a bit daunting to have it all said again.

Then came a speaker called Jelena Popovic. She is a magistrate. April remarked that she talked JUST LIKE Ms MacA- and it was found out later on that the reason for that is they’re actually siblings. Popovic always made jokes about Ms MacA- being strict, and when she did she would cup her hands over the mike as if she were whispering, but by doing so she actually made her words louder and audible.

Before dinner, Carmaine went to play pool while I properly washed my hair, but when I left my room I couldn’t find her, nor anyone else. I walked around the residence area, shouting her name. I managed to find Eunice, and made our way to Shaz’s room via mobile instructions. Then, sticking my head out of Shaz’s room, I shouted “CARMAINE! CARMAINE!” I found a few people walking around down below (that is, Shaz’s room is on the 2nd floor, or 3rd floor if you’re American) and asked “HAVE YOU SEEN CARMAINE!?” Someone answered, “No I didn’t. But…” then went out of sight and earshot, and I started frantically shouting “BUT WHAT?!” I went back to our room in case she was there, nup. Walked around the area a little bit more just in case, and asked a lot more people. Nup. Finally, Carmaine called Eunice back in Shaz’s room, and I went to get her. Upon seeing her, I said, “Don’t be surprised if later people start telling you that I’m looking for you.” Later, at dinner, Nagi-, one of the people whom I shouted at, asked me, “So did you end up finding Carmaine?” Played pool with Carmaine after dinner, and somehow pulled a hammy on the table.

Had another speaker after that, talking about relationships. Her talk had ups and downs, I suppose it was a good relief from the incessant talk about schoolwork, but at the same time it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know about myself. The speaker was clearly a big fan of Sex In The City and Delta Goodrem. She showed us a a couple of love songs that might make different people feel different ways, two of which were Goodrem songs and one was “Feel” by Robbie Williams. We talked about Toxic and Nontoxic relationships, and reasons why people might stay in the latter. Nearly every suggestion that came up somehow rounded its way back to “for the sex” or “for the money”. Then, near the back I hear a voice say, “Emotional blackmail. As in if the partner says ‘I’ll kill myself if you leave me’.” Took a look-see, and of course, that was Dani (love you). There was a clip called “catfight” which was actually about 7 tiny adorable puppies chasing and bullying this cat, which was trying to run away and defend itself. Also there was a music clip for “I’m A Believer” the song, and true to our nature, we all sang along to the chorus. Oh, and almost forgot to mention. There was a poem which the speaker wanted us to listen to and write down 3 emotions we think the poem, a breakup poem, was about. I don’t remember much of the poem except it was a generic sappy heartbreak crap, but there were 2 lines that went something along the lines of “You blew it one too many times…I don’t want to get off the joyride that you give me” or something. About 3/4 of the theatre sniggered, I included. Carmaine elbowed me exasperatedly, because at time we were sitting very close to the teachers.

Had supper, then had some time left before Lights Out at 11. We all (that is, BRuCE, Shaz and Fel) went up to Shaz’s room and hung out a bit, and decided to play truth-or-truth. We got as far as something about Bee that I can’t remember but it was something I knew, Eunice’s past crushes, the fact that I’d rather do Michael Jackson than Mr G (Only because like HELL I’d EVER do Mr G), and that Carmaine would rather do Mrs Wil- than Ms Gar-, but only because she likes the former’s lipstick (ie, the “taste of her cherry chapstick”. One of my better calls for the night). EmPow, Franco and Hobo came in later, and we started playing Mafia. In the 4 rounds, I was a Mafia, Detective, Detective, then the narrator. Won as the Mafia, lost as Detective first time because we blamed the wrong people (haha Carmaine was my fellow detective but we ended up blaming the wrong person, who was a Civillian), lost as Detective second time because I was killed, and then as the narrator narrated a rather funny story (everyone laughed…but I was gruesome…so…) and in the end Fel managed to give away the game.

We were hitting about 15 minutes until lights out when we all went back to our rooms. Had a bit of a confused moment when Carmaine and I wanted to spend the night in Bee and Eunice’s cluster, but couldn’t lug the mattresses to their cluster without being suss, and then later on when Carmaine and I were trying to get Bee and Eunice over to my room because if we moved Carmaine’s mattress to my room we’d have space, it was already past 11 and Bee was too scared. So instead we slept in my room, I on the floor because I didn’t like how soft the bed was (nor did I like how soft the mattress and pillow were) and talked for about 2 and a half hours. At some point, we were lying horizontally across the bed, with our feet on the wall next to the bed, and we started stomping the wall. Then came a loud “thump thump” and we were like “OH CRAP SOMEONE’S IN THE ROOM NEXT TO US!” Turned out to be Mary, and we were concerned that she may have overheard our conversation, but she said “I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL YOU TWO STARTED STAMPING ON THE WALL!” We called Eunice and they were playing Snap and Spit in their room, so we just kept on talking. Covered many an interesting topic of conversation, and were pretty honest with each other which I was really really grateful for. Then at around 1:20 am, we called Dani’s mobile, and were greeted with a small unappreciating croak. We asked, “Aww, were you asleep?” And got a confirming croak in reply. “Oh, sorry honey. Go back to sleep. Goodnight, we love you.” “Errgghh…” “Aww you’re so cute!” “Urrhh…”

We pretty much decided to go to sleep after that, but I couldn’t fall asleep because of the foreign bed. Got up at around 3 to pee, and every muscle in my body ached (so damned out of shape) from tennis. Had a tough time trying to open the damn door, and Carmaine half-asleep asked “What are you doing?” “Go back to sleep, I’m trying to open this son of a bitch door.”

Phone alarm went off at 6:30 but continued sleeping until 7. Eunice came into the room with her Wong-Ar shirt, and then Bee joined us. In a general sleepy mess we changed, brushed, washed, toileted (and Carmaine used the hand dryer to blow dry her hair, what a champ) and packed. Had breakfast, and April and Dani sat with us. Bianca wasn’t too happy that I was talking so loudly in the morning (no one was…but Carmaine smiled and joked around with me anyway). Dani tried to kill me by feeding me a super large piece of fruit. After breakfast we went to the pool room and shot some balls (ha). We heard through the grapevine that on the previous night, on one of the upper floors, a few girls were in the room together when a teacher came around and so they either went back to their rooms, or, as a few did, hid in the cupboard. Except the teacher heard them hiding into the cupboard so they were ultimately busted hiding in the cupboard. Oh man, that’s pretty classic, in my opinion.

Listened to some Peer Support talks and tips, and some things about the Common Room which is OURS NOW. In the Peer Support thing, we had an activity in groups and were each given a scenario to cope with. My group had “You left your school notes on the train and is having a SAC in a few days” and was asked “What will you do to minize this happening in the future?” I wrote “Staple it to your forehead.”

We then went off into a few different things, where we could talk to ex-MacRob students about some of the specific courses we might be intersted in. Design was a funny one, because the girl more or less told us not to do it because it’s shit pay, loads of work, and no social life. Arts was vague but I actually think it’s pretty cool because there are so many choices in Arts. But Media. Oh Media. I am actually now excited about doing Media and Communication in Melb U. First of all, the contact hours are only about 12 hours a week (score) and secondly, even if I ultimately can’t get what I want to do, I think that marketing and PR isn’t bad, and I believe that I have the creativity skills to get me there. As long as I pull my arse in and really get out there and do work experience. Plus if I go to Melb U, I may be able to live with Dani. Carmaine is interestined in Pharmacy, and I think that would be so incredibly awesome if she does it because my parents would love her more. Haha! But there are other reasons too, and as she said her wanting Pharmacy would motivate her to do well in Chem this year. Eunice is interested in Med (what else? But I honestly think Eunice is one of the few people who would REALLY REALLY just SUPERACHIEVE in that field). I didn’t see much of Bianca after this conference but then again I already have a fair idea of what she’s passionate about.

Had lunch on the floor of the dining room due to lack of seats. Mai took pictures of us being hobos. Found out something awesome about April’s brother, and I am so happy for him because I know he must be so happy right now, and so carefree. And also there was a funny mo’, when as a joke I said, “Carmaine might be hiding something from us all this time” and April replied, “with those tights on, I don’t think so.”

Finally, did some evaluation of the overall camp, and then left Monash and went home. Walked home in the sun, therefore I got sunburnt AGAIN. School photos is tomorrow. Oh dear god help me. I checked out my face; on the side with the fringe, it’s fine-ish. On the side without the fringe…oh my FUNKY gosh. I look like a premature version of Two-Face.

Anyway, I’ve written a pretty damn long blog. I’m sorry to make you read all this.

Keep Cool (and your dreams alive)

D.F.

New Year’s Resolution

Alright since it’s been mentioned thrice in just as many days, I think I should talk about it.

My resolution last year – or this year, whatever, 2008 – was, if I recall properly because I remember telling Carmaine and Eunice about it at Knox when we went to see P.S. I Love You, to be a better friend and open up channels of communication.

Personally, as in on a personal solitary level, I think I actually achieved both of them really well. I’ve had good talks with people, and I’ve found more about myself and so knew what I can offer as a friend.

I mean, I can think of one instance later in the year when communication wasn’t so great, not on a personal level but as in making sure outside communications are good. But. Again, it all worked out.

The strange thing is, I don’t know what this year’s resolution is going to be. I want to say “do so well in school that I weed out all unforced B’s and B+’s”, but I think that that’s a pretty bad resolution to have, seeing as it shouldn’t take a NYR to make me want to do well in Yr 12. I want to say, “finally kiss someone” but I’ve received such a response to the “flower” post that again, it’s not in my best interest to. But I honestly don’t see a resolution, unless I want to do the “get my weight back down to 45-46 kilos”. Or “give some sort of ending to the vampire story” or the usual love crap like “make sure I make every member of BRuCE laugh really hard at least once a day”. But 356×3 laughs are a large number of laughs.

Ahh, someone help me.

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. Maybe “quit smoking”? I need to take it up first.