Potted Potter

Sorry I was going to blog this yesterday but things happened. Well, rather things didn’t happen, ie I didn’t blog it.

Yesterday was a pretty cold today. The temperature itself wasn’t that low it was just that it was very windy, raining, and oh the previous day had been nearly 30. So it was a shock to the system.

I went to Melb Central and did Chinese homework (please kill me or I’ll die from shame first) at the foodcourt, and then went to Dani’s place. Andrew’s friend, Shin was there and they watched Bboy videos while Dani and I played on her guitar, and Andrew’s guitar (that is, Andrew brought his as well). We tuned the guitar with the “online tuner” which basically plays a midi of each string, tuned, and you tune to it by ear.

We went to Melb Central, or rather UCMC (look I think it’s a clever shorthand way of texting someone the meeting point) with April, who had shown up at this point in my recollection. We saw Cathy, but also we saw Stoner, her cousin, Dee and her girlfriend. Dani saw another friend of her’s, so for about 20 minutes we just stood at UCMC and waited around. Then we went to Red Silks, and sat in one of the inside booths things.

During lunch, we did this thing where we used the “sexy voice” to say random items on the menu. For example, “You’re my crispy chicken and stir fried noodles.” Or “You’re the Red Silk’s Specialty.” Etc. Then, and I don’t remember how we got to this exchange but…

Me: [said something]

Dani: “Don’t you mean ‘he’?”

Me: “I said ‘he’.”

Dani: “Yeah cos I was about to say, ‘Andrew’s a girl.’ [pause] I MEAN BOY! ANDREW’S A BOY!”

We went to the Town Hall to watch Potted Potter, A Parody of All 7 Harry Potter books. It was very clearly targetted at children (Cathy wanted it…she wanted it) and actually The Shak from Ch 9 was filming there (I TOTALLY SAW NITRO). The two guys, John and David were two British lads and they talked really fast, and were really excited. Some of their jokes I think were actually really connotative. Like when David said,

“And so Voldemort entered Harry [pause] into the Triwizard Tournament.”

“And their wands touched.”

Not to mention the “Basilisk” mostly attacked “Harry’s” nipples. And the dragon from the 4th book, a hand-puppet, went between “Harry”‘s legs.

There were some pretty creepy things they did, like when John, who is in charge of acting as everyone apart from Harry, acted as Hermione, and kind of did this creepy Transylvania “Hello…I’m Hermione, a girrrl.” And David asks John “Have you even met an 11 year old girl?” Or Snape, who I swear is a gay pedo.

At some point near the end, David shouted, “Hang on! I just realized, playing Harry for the past 60 minutes. HARRY IS REALLY BORING! He always stumbles from one misfortune to another and does NOTHING! And how do you make him more boring than he already is? YOU MAKE HIM NOT BE ABLE TO MOVE…AND INVISIBLE! (referring to just before Dumbledore died)”

But I think the best part was the Quidditch game, where they got 2 audience members, both of whom were around 4 or 5, and then got the rest of the audience to throw a small beach ball around into hula hoops on either end of the room. Well, it was fun when we’re just bobbing it around, but then one kid decides to be the hero and spikes the thing into the head of the audience member in front of him, and then later on when a dad decides to be uber macho and smacks the ball right into some poor toddler. Andrew and I pissed ourselves laughing at that.

They ended with 2 parody songs. Voldemort and Harry did a duet to “I Will Survive” but with different lyrics, and then “Dobby” (who is beyond creepy) came in with an interlude “All By Myself”.

I suppose in the end it was worth the 18 bucks after all.

Alex.

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