The Name’s Face, Whore-Face

I suppose I could’ve used “The Name’s Whore, Man-Whore” but then it isn’t AS funny.

Julia caught up with us today! It was the best. Anna, Annie and I were eating at Melb Central (I was a fattie and had an All Stars Box). But before Julia came, we spent about 30 minutes sitting there watching a bunch of guys put fake 50 dollar bills on the floor, and watching everyone’s reaction walking past it.

There was a young teenage girl who’d walked past it, picked it up, saw it was fake and said out loud, “Oh damn I thought it was a 50 dollar bill!”

We came across Stoner as well. Stoner now looks like a full fledged girl, damn her!

After talking to Julia for a while, Anna needed to go back to class. So we dragged Julia along to Melb Uni (her being a Monash kid now). We met up with Josh, and promptly introduced Annie and Julia to him as a couple (don’t think he bought it, so it’s safe to say it here).

We sat around for a bit chilling (Suse joined us), while Anna decided to go to class half an hour early. I was making fun of Josh, and I suppose I might have taken his threat of “if you keep going I’ll pick you up and throw you into that bin” too lightly, because he did end up picking me up and running across the courtyard to throw me in a bin. (He didn’t actually throw me in, thank God.)

We then left, because Josh needed to meet up with Me-. So we went back to State Library, and upon meeting Me- the first thing she said to me after I introduced myself was, “Have I met you before?”

Thus started my trying to remember where I’d seen her familiar face. I’m still going, mind you.

Went to the station with Julia (Annie’d gone back to MU to find Anna for their wild night of partying), and saw Mai and E. Told Julia about the hilarious result of if Mai married E. Julia laughed.

Said bye to Julia, and took the train home with a whole bunch of red-jumpered MacRobbians.

Saw Amy on the bus (today is a day for seeing people. Except sadly on the train I didn’t see neither Fa, Catherine, Julia L nor Eunice Y).

And so later tonight I’m going to one of Zhen’s youth things – he promised there won’t be anything religious tonight so I won’t feel awkward.

I will now go check my Tumblr, and, if I have time, update again for a sort of musing/joke that happened yesterday.

Alex.

All Hopes I Had Become Surreal

[My Heroine – Silverstein]

Today was my first official day at Melbourne. And, actually, you know what? Today was the first day of Autumn; that means that Summer has ended. I need to update my Summer playlist, and also it means that I’ll stop posting lyrical headings. This will thus be the end.

I think a lot of songs I REALLY WANTED TO USE didn’t get posted on. Well. Too bad. Perhaps I’ll do a Winter title thing as well.

Alright, to cut a long and obviously predictable story short: Yes Uni was pretty good. Lectures haven’t kicked in yet. There WAS one subject which reduced me to dozing, so I actually just changed out of it to something hopefully better EXCEPT I need to get it confirmed and get my timetables done. I hope I don’t get crappy times. I still get Tuesdays off. The food was expensive in Union House so I will start doing packed lunches. I’ll get a Union member friend to go heat it up for me.

Points of interest for today:

1) Josh and Annie are in the same lectures and breaks with me for the first 3 hours.

2) I am actually very excited about doing Professional Writing, even though a lot of the styles will be out of my comfort zone. But I think the Tutes will definitely help.

3) Seeing Zhen (3rd year student and friend) and saying hi to him at the cafeteria actually makes me feel really cool because I know a 3rd year.

4) The Norwegian guy I was talking about is also in my Professional Writing class. I really hope he never finds this blog or he’ll think I’m a complete freak.

5) Josh does not hesitate to tell disgusting stories while I eat.

6) Anna is very gullible. This I’ll go into detail soon.

7) I FINALLY MET SNEAKS!!! I FINALLY MET CHERYL! AFTER GOD KNOWS HOW LONG I ACTUALLY MET HER AND SHE IS RIDICULOUSLY TALL.

Alright, so Cheryl first. She’s doing Uni classes this year, so, because today I was going to stay back a bit to have dinner with Josh, Annie and Anna, I met up with her. This was the first time we ever did this.

I waited with her outside her room, and I swear, when she gets nervous she says the oddest things. CHERYL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! But actually, it was so good to tall to her in person, and be dwarfed, literally, by her presence.

After that, I went to dinner at Red Silks with the other three.

I think I haven’t laughed that hard or frequently through a meal in ages.

Somehow we managed to convince Anna that the bottle of water she was pouring from is actually pure tequila. We pretended to down the “tequila” with some effort, while she obviously effortlessly chugged it down. She got rather worried that she had “alcohol” without knowing it. It went on for nearly 10 minutes of us just half pissing ourselves laughing.

At the end of the meal, and I swear this happened, I told her that “gullible is written on the ceiling”…AND SHE LOOKED! Man, the fact that she took all of this in good humor and still laughed and had fun with us, that is a sign of a truly awesome person.

We also, for some reason (which I think was mostly Mai), had a huge conversation about cleavages. I remarked that it is awkward for me to hug friends above a certain height, because it means my face is level with some awkward – albeit comfortable – cushioning. Annie asked, “well why don’t you turn your head to the side?” I replied, “I ALREADY DO?! What, do you think I currently hug people by burying my face in their chest?! NO!”

And then, and I can’t remember why, I started singing “Do your ears hang low, do they sway to and fro?” I think it’s because Josh said, “You can just throw [your breasts] over your shoulder when you hug someone.” And, if I recall correctly, the song goes, “Do you throw them over your shoulders like a marching band soldier?”

Alright, so, I think I may have laughed too much today because I read back on what I wrote, and not only does it sound insanely immature, it also sounds a bit high. So I’m sorry if it was tedious to read, but there you go.

I have tomorrow off, to do my subjects. My books, however, are a worry.

So, I bid you my reader, welcome to Autumn. If you also started Uni today, I wish you the best for the future, and I hope you didn’t get TOO ripped off by the expensive food today.

Alex.

Just being evil

Today I caught up with Pooki and her friend Mic-. They were at NGV for Top Arts or something and so we took the train home together. Eunice came with us, of course.

Eunice and I met up with Pooki and Mic- at Melb Central and I got a mini frozen coke (which, for a dollar, is seriously worth it). We then walked around Melb Central so Pooki can go shopping. Anyway so they went into Cocolatte (which I thought was a drink they wanted…sadly) and so I sat outside, my bag being too big. Mic- joined me after a while, and then Eunice and Pooki dumped their stuff with us.

Mic- said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if they came out and we were gone with their stuff?”

It took one second for me to chuckle and decide. We stood up, took their stuff, and walked off. We went to Colorado which was upstairs and just had a chat about Pooki, school, pranks we’ve pulled etc.

It took them nearly 15 minutes to call back, they spent that long in Cocolatte. Then we went into Colorado and sat on the couch, hiding Eunice’s bag in the cushions, agreeing to pretend, “Bag? Did you give us your bag? I don’t remember you giving us your bag.”

It didn’t work. The cushions were rather obvious.

So then we went down to the platform and I was going to get off at Richmond for Carmaine and Bee, who were behind us, but it was raining at Richmond and I didn’t want to get wet. Then they called and said they were on the 41 but at that point, more or less, I didn’t get off.

On the train we were discussing comebacks and whatnot. Mic- said that someone had done an awesome one on Pooki.

They were playing Taboo, and Pooki had the word “compliment”. She couldn’t get it across, so TeeTee (I mentioned this before. But I’ll say it again; I don’t call him TeeTee, Pooki does. I do it to censor his name) said he’d help her. He said, “Ah, [Pooki], you’re looking very beautiful today.” And someone said, “I know what that is! That’s a LIE!”

It rained today. That’s good. Won’t do much for our water catchment but at least it waters gardens and washes cars.

Alex.

April Fool’s Day…Fools…

So, today was the awesome April Fools Day. I wasn’t able to do much damage but in the future I do plan…to…yeah…

I was thinking last night about possible pranks. My scope of prank-ness only stretches so far as emails and texts, because there’s not much I can do physically on such short notice.

I’d wanted to get Carmaine but I couldn’t think of a prank that is awesome enough. But I figured out 2 good ones, one for Cathy and one for Dani.

I won’t share what I did to Cathy seeing as 1) she hasn’t responded yet (never checks her phone) and 2) it’s a bit personal. I did hit below the belt on that one.

The one I did to Dani, despite failing because Dani also doesn’t check her phone on time, was this:

I texted her last night asking if she was going to Period 1 as Madd- is away and we have a free. This was for 2 reasons. 1 was to ascertain around when she might be home and awake, and 2 was to set up my prank.

I texted her at 7:50, when I was still on the train, “Omg I’ve been knocking on your door for 5 minutes! Wtf does no one hear me?” and then I waited 2 minutes, during which she should have sufficient time to do a mad dash to her door, and texted “If you fell for that, Happy April Fools.”

She texted back in about 20 minutes telling me that she’d not checked her phone until much later, at 8. The upside was that she really did for a moment panic. The obvious downside was that she didn’t look stupid. Which, I must admit, was my relished goal.

I also texted April on a whim, saying that I’d “got bored last night and cut my own hair, and now I have a near bald spot.” She didn’t believe me. I suppose she’s extra aware on April the 1st.

Now, to make myself feel better, I must add that I did punk Dani before. I think it was around this time last month, Dani was in the city and I was rather bored at home. I texted her, “Where are you? At this very literal moment.”

She replied cheerfully, “At Price Attack on Swanston.”

“Thought so, turn around!”

Waited for about 30 seconds.

“Did you turn around?”

“SHUT UP!”

Ah, hey look, I do feel miles better.

2 years ago Eunice texted me (well, I suppose with our limited resources the best pranks are over texts) saying, and allow me to try to find the actual text:

“OMG! My mum just told me that we need to be out of our house in two weeks and that we’re going house-hunting today…in friggin Endeavour Hills. I don’t wanna move!!! ARGH!”

Then I, ever so stupid and gullible, replied (and pardon the swearing I am giving an exact recount except with not too many abbreviations):

“HOLD A FUCKING SECOND THAT’S IN DANDY SO YOU WON’T BE TAKING GLENNY! HOW FUCKING UNFAIR YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME FIND A HOUSE IN GLEN WAVERLEY DAMMIT. Omgsh. [insert crying face]” (I didn’t realize I replied completely in capitals.)

I suppose she was the one who started my want to punk others on April Fools. Thanks, Eunice.

I’ve one more official day of school uniform left before I get to be in casual. I can’t wait.

Hope the holidays provide me with writing material. Oh and of course I haven’t forgotten my Summer Project which I suppose I should change the name to “Half-Arsed Project” or something to that effect.

D.F.

Actually, from now on I’ll sign out as Alex.