Lemon Tarts

To me, having a slice of homemade (that is, not my home but someone else’s home) lemon tart on a sleep Sunday morning, while laughing at Doofenschmirtz’s latest plan being foiled by Perry the Platypus (“CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!”), is pretty damn close to being idyllic.

I think every time I have lemon tart from now on, I will think about this morning, when I had my first lemon tart. It was perfect weather, and I had a good sleep, waking up just in time to watch Phineas and Ferb, which I’ve missed 2 weeks in a row now. After I finished my plate of the Mi Goreng that Eunice gave me – or as I call it, Euny-Goreng – and sat there while the MSG fizzled away in my brain, I suddenly remembered the lemon tart that Bianca had dropped off last night. So when the ad-break came on, I cut myself a generous slice, and took a hungry bite into the cool tart.

Let me say this: Bianca, you are legen – wait for it…

(And I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second part is)

– DARY!

I thought for a moment to pour myself a drink, but the liquid would drown and wash away the crumbly crust and the lemony middle bit (look, I don’t bake. Just having me know “crust” is a breakthrough). So as I popped the last piece of crust into my mouth, and letting my tongue break it into delicious and awesome nothingness, I looked around guilitily. The coast was clear, and the ad-break was on. I cut myself another large slice.

As I was eating that piece (eating?! Oh the mere word doesn’t give the – dare I say orgasmic? – experience its due credit), it occured to me that, if I wasn’t alone, I would’ve said one of the two following phrases:

“This lemon tart is so good, I wanna sew my ass shut.”

OR

“I think I just had my first tart-gasm.”

(Actually, a really long line that Barney said was “I want…to take this burger out to dinner…then maybe a movie…then, take it back to my place, put on a little Terrence Trent D’Arby, [gets aggressive] then I will just… [pause, calms] fool around a little bit, nothin’ serious, just take it slow, y’know?”)

So, before I knew it, before I was ready, before I could even get out the needle and thread, I was once again poppin’ that last piece in. I looked wistfully at the dish on my kitchen counter. No. I have to leave it for later. I have to slowly savor the pure, not-too-sweet, and absolute AWESOMENESS that had come out of Bianca’s oven.

Throughout the day, the only thoughts crossing my mind is what I can possibly do to return the favor. What can beat pure awesomeness? Let me tell you this: nothing. Nothing can beat pure awesomeness, except the being that had originally created awesomeness, because only She can create something beyond what is already epitomic. But is it possible?

Keepin’ Cool,

D.F.

PURE AWESOMENESS!

Today, I finally went out with some of the people in my class again; I hadn’t really hung out with them outside of school for most of the year, because everytime there was an opportunity I was usually with BRuCE.

The ones who were there were Jen (aka “My Property”), April, Sonam, Tiff, Bel and me.

We all met up under the clock – Jen took it literally and sat EXACTLY under the clock – and Bel was late. When she arrived we went for an early lunch at Nando’s (despite April being vegetarian and saying she wasn’t hungry. I decided to take “I’m not hungry” as “I am hungry” and “I’m hungry” as “I’m REALLY hungry”). We got 2 chickens and 2 “seriously large” chips and April got a vege pita (which I forgot to order at first). In the end Tiff and Sonam let the team down and didn’t eat much, so there was about a quarter of a chicken left and Bel said she’d eat it but she ate slowly, so we’d have to wait. Then, she suggested that she could eat faster if while she was still finishing her 2nd last piece of chicken, both Tiff and Sonam cut the last quarter up into bite-sized pieces. So they did. But then Bel said that she had a habit of having a ratio of 1:1, chips and chicken. So she’d have to cut up her chips and eat it with the bite-sized chicken. Jen then proceeded to cut up the chips into tiny little bite-sized pieces, and with the other fork I stabbed together some chicken and chips and tried to feed Bel, aeroplane style, but she wouldn’t let me. There were 4 girls who sat down next to us when I’d gone to order April’s pita, about 5 minutes after our food had arrived (I’d forgotten to do it in the initial order) and they were finished 10 minutes before we did.

So, yeah, we ate slowly, and I wonder what would’ve happened if Vania had been there (hey Vania, how DID you piss off your mom?).

After Nando’s we went to Strike Bowling (hooray for black light, so that all the white we wore glowed!) and we all used pseudonyms except for April, who was April. So Tiff was A.I., Sonam Tsunami, Jen E.T., I took Lex Luthor (ha) and Bel was “PURE AWESOMENESS”.

I suck at bowling! I really need to go a few more times with different people so that I can be a decent competitor. Even with gutter guards I sucked baaaaaad! Pure A won, and April beat Tsunami by two points.

And it wasn’t too expensive either, which was a bonus.

During bowling, the venue played a few songs, and of course Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” came on. I started singing loudly to it, and some guys in the next lane started singing as well. Then, one of them got a strike and yelled “YEEEEAHHH!” in a manly grunt, Leyton Hewitt style, and I promised that if I did something really awesome, I’d grunt yell as well. Well I never did get an awesome shot after my initial strike, so I guess I didn’t. I still yelled a lot, though. Like whenever it was Bel’s turn, I would scream “PURE AWESOMENESS!” Kung Fu Panda style.

After bowling, where Jen’s top half was fluro blue, we decided to go to Bel’s place to play Singstar. Sonam and Tiff left early, and so did April to go work. The three of us remaining went to Bel’s very bachelor-like place, and we played a few songs but Jen had a sore throat and was screeching a bit (screeching in tune, but still screeching) and Bel managed to ace the game mumbling the whole thing off.

I was late going home (and on the tram back to Flinders Jen tried to play the travelling game on me, where she’d lick her finger and wipe it on my face) and mom wasn’t happy. We ate out, because dad is at an office party, and as we were leaving the carpark a dickhead blocked the way trying to get a parking spot, and mom beeped him. She shouted “this is a traffic area!” which it was, seeing as it was at the turn, and he screamed back “this is parking!” which again, it kind of was as well. Then mom shouted at him to move but he just shouted back “merry Christmas!” in a sarcastic voice, which I thought was kind of stretching the useage of that remark a bit, seeing as we’ve just entered the Christmas week, mom half-shouted “You don’t have a merry Christmas”, and then finally the dickhead got out of the way.

It was hilarious.

I missed today’s How I Met Your Mother.

On Monday Jen organized for us to go to her place, because Julia would be back by then, and the party is in honor of her (was I not meant to say that?).

Carmaine left today.

And I am very tired.

De Fluffe, Out.

Twelve.