I find it very interesting to read the three comparisons of Marianne’s reflections of a presentation (Jennifer Moon, 2004), because that, more than anything else before, gave me a much clearer understanding of a deep engagement with reflection and reflective writing. I find that most of my reflections fall under category B – to analyse the events somewhat, but mostly to just list them, and I don’t ever expand on my thoughts and feelings. Category C is what I should be aiming for to get the most out of reflecting on an event – to not just engage with what happened, and how it made me feel, but why it made me feel that way, how I acted in response, and why I acted how I acted. In all, I have to explore more of ‘why’, in order to better determine the ‘how’ in later times.

The other point, which I suppose isn’t entirely new to me, but seems to be a recurring point, is to not let your initial assumption taint everything else after it. I have to do this, but when I read these points made in Moon (2004)’s rewriting of Marsick and Watkins (1990), I immediately remembered the plot from 22 Jump Street where, (SPOILER ALERT) Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum realized that, because of the initial assumption that the victim was the buyer, not the dealer of drugs, that they had gotten the whole investigation wrong. Similarly, Marsick and Watkins make and reiterate the point: Never let your initial assumption or impression shape the way you view a person, item or event later on. They elaborate on this through requesting the writer/reflector to step away from themselves, and to also take on the counsel and thoughts of people around them, in order to best create a situation where there is both dialog and questions that are being raised that can challenge pre-conceived and pre-concreted notions. In this way, the best reflections can exist independently from the writer.

– Alex

I Don’t Believe That Anybody Feels The Way I Do

[Wonderwall – Oasis]

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Dear reflection,

Fuck you so sexy, if ya just be looking at thems bwois they be melting at their knees and begging to treat ya right.

Or some shit like that, right?

They tell us to love ourselves because we’re all beautiful, no matter how big our breasts, how perky our butts, how thin our legs, how high our cheekbones are (this is just, you know, for the girls. I mean, hell, guys might want perky bums as well I don’t know) but how many people REALLY see themselves in the mirror and go “fuck yeah that’s what I’m talking about”? Because I bet each and every one of them think, “Oh, I wish my skin was smoother” or something small, or big.

The difference is if they let that bother them. It’s not exactly “love the skin you’re in”, but rather “be predominantly not so bothered by the shortcomings of the skin you’re in”. And if you have something which you bloody think is brilliant, I say go fucking flaunt it. This period of time might be the only time in your life that that part is the best part, so go flaunt it – I say this without condoning wearing barely anything to show off your long legs. I mean…leave something to the imagination, please.

Okay, that’s the purely physical side of what I think about reflections.

The strange thing is, do you ever feel like you’re old? Because you see yourself everyday, and I just wonder how the hell do people actually think I look old enough to go into a bar (yes I know I get carded, but for argument’s sake we’ll say I don’t) because to me, I still am this little girl back in Gr 4. When I was about to leave primary school, everyone was saying how it was so strange that they were the oldest in the school, and that the preps saw them how they used to see the other old kids.

But hell, if the bouncers reckon I can get in, I’m not arguing.

It’s not like the face in the reflection still holds the same amount of wisdom behind it as it did in Gr 4. So I suppose in all senses that a hurrah for me.

Anyway, this is my last letter from my 30 days of letters. I think I should thank Bianca for telling me that it’s awesome, and I should thank everyone who’d read this. It wasn’t as repetitive as I thought it would be, even though I wrote pretty much all to girls than guys. I don’t know if I’ve made some self-discovery in these letters, but I suppose it cleared things up to write them.

So, for the last time in this series, but not for the last time in the blogs,