Moonlight Would Provide The Spark

[Three Cheers For Five Years – Mayday Parade]

Serena brought it to my attention that I never finished this post.

As this was two years ago and I’m not bothered enough to check back, I’ll do them all now. I actually have a post in draft for the last few days that I didn’t write, but since I have to sleep within the hour, this might be faster.

Day 01: Your views on death, how you cope, etc. – If I answered this already, forgive me. I guess my answer will be different now. Since then, I’ve come across two deaths, one close but not extremely close to me, and another in my own family. Both were very sad but not in the shock tragic way. The former is definitely very upsetting, since it was my friend who battled cancer for eight years, and who ultimately lost to it. The thing is, the whole family knew it was coming, so they had time to prepare, to spend time and to smile and laugh. Her last days were spent in the company of her friends and family, so all things considered, it was pretty beautiful. The second death was my own grandfather, and it was a bit of a shock, but he was old, he lived a full, happy life, and there were no prolonged pain and suffering. He left my grandmother with a place to live, money to spend, and they had a lifetime of memories together. So my views? Death sucks, obviously, since it’s the ending of an existence, but I’d prefer to think about them when they lived, and how good they lived, and in that way they can continue existing in a sense, and positively so.

Day 02: How you introduce yourself to new people. – I try to be myself, but for the most part I gauge the situation. It’s easy to create a public persona, a funny, slightly inappropriate jokey, kind of persona, and just let that take care of the social conventions. But let’s be honest, we all do that. It’s how society is made for us to survive in, and instead of condemning it, think about the kind of people in your life around whom you could drop your public persona easily. It makes times with them even more special.

Day 03: What you think about love. – Judging by the time stamp, this was initially written just before I met Amelia. June 2011, I was pretty into someone else, and it wasn’t requited. I would have been a bit naive, hopeful but ultimately cynical about it. Now, I think it’s probably at the stage where I think love is definitely something which can fix someone, but also an elusive something which you may never know you’ve had, because who knows what love is? How can you tell you’re in love, and not just deep infatuation? And more importantly: does it matter? If you’re happy, and they’re happy, and your sex drive is VERY happy, then does it matter if it’s not really “love”?

Day 04: Write about someone you love. – Please see previous posts about Amelia. SORRY I just have to sleep very soon.

Day 05: A list of things you fancy doing. – Lately, I’ve been working more, so I do appreciate down times when I can read a good comic or book, or watch some shows while playing Jetpack Joyride, or reading about cool new techie things. I also really, really enjoy cuddling Amelia’s dog Meg.

MEG3

Day 06: Recommend some books to read. – This might just show my immaturity and taste in literature, but a few books I’ve been recently reading that I really enjoyed:

Perfume – the Story of A Murderer by Patrick Suskind (yes, I saw the movie first)

A Song of Ice and Fire (the series Game of Thrones is based off of) by G. R. R. Martin

Repotting Harry Potter – A Professor’s Book-by-Book Guide for the Serious Re-Reader by James W. Thomas (a wonderful way to also read through the series itself as you go along)

The Casual Vacancy (Where Rowling shows she really, really understands how people work) by J. K. Rowling

White Fang (literally one of the first adult English books I ever read, and I fell in love with it) by Jack London.

I’m also going to recommend some comics which I like.

Saga – Image Comics. The illustration is astonishingly beautiful, and Fiona Staples conveys emotions so artfully that some panels are laugh out loud funny, because of the way she’d draw the characters. The story is also compelling, but now that I’m waiting monthly for them instead of consuming them in one go, I feel like it’s so slow!

Chew – Image Comics. I have a thing for Image. Chew is funny and then punch-you-in-the-guts heartbreaking without notice. It takes quite a lighthearted approach at a really, really morbid theme, and it’s so fun to see where everything is headed.

Rising Stars – Image Comics. This series ended a while back, and I blew through it in one day. I’d wanted to savor it slowly, but before I knew it, it was pitch black and I had a sore butt, but I was just sobbing at how things turned out. It’s like Heroes, but better (which isn’t saying much, I guess).

American Vampire – Vertigo. Ever since reading Preacher (which is also good, but I won’t put it on my list), I thought Vertigo would come out with weird-ass things (just like Hellblazer too), but American Vampire’s story really SUCKED me in, even considering the fact that it had time jumps and deviations in protagonist focus. The world which Snyder created is so engrossing I wish they could make a bigger thing of it.

Fables – Vertigo. Also a surprisingly not weird series. It’s like Once Upon A Time but not so whiney. The reason I got into it was because I read a review for Wolf Among Us, which is the Telltale Game’s prequel to Fables. The game sounded fun, and the comics did too, so I gave it a go. Great decision, cannot wait for the game now.

Numbercruncher – Titan Comics. This was one of those random new comics recommended by Comixology, and I gave it a go. It was strange to start with but then the premise really grabbed me, then it continued being extremely awesome, and it’s something I’d totally re-read slowly while contemplating the idea behind it.

The Bunker – Hoarse and Buggy Productions. Yet another random digital-only recommendation, which turned out to be very time-travelly mind-bendy stuff. It’s slow in picking up and just started, so it’s not built up to much yet, but the creators are promising something huge, and I hope they deliver!

Day 07: Write about the arts (music, art, dancing). – Obviously, these things are all around us and we don’t realize it. It feels like these institutions have been built to such an elitist state that, if you’re not AMAZING AND TOTALLY ACE at it, then you’re relegated to “sucking” and “keep it as your hobby”. I mean, for most people, it probably is a hobby anyway, but they don’t need you to tell them that. I wish I was good at all three, because musicians/artists/dancers are sexy, but I think I’m okay with just writing and storytelling.

Day 08: Write a poem. – I once took a creative writing class where one of the assessments was to write a poem. I think poems are also built to be something more than it needs to be. Poems are meant to be a gathering of words in a way which draws beauty and instills thought and emotions into the reader. Just because you didn’t write it in a bloody sonnet format doesn’t make it any less special. A limerick isn’t any lesser than a haiku. A kid who wrote an acrostic poem using the word “MOMMY” and writing about how much they love their mother means a lot more to that mother than anything Hemingway could have come up with, because poetry isn’t about how poncy you are, it’s about the emotion behind it. In other words, I can’t really be bothered writing one right now.
Day 09: Photo of your favorite pillow. – I only have one pillow, and it’s light blue. Unless you want a photo of Meg again?

Day 10: How you wake up in the morning. – I tend to wake up more often to alarm clocks than not, then I take 10 minutes to scroll through my overnight Twitter feed, especially for interesting news, then I get up and do my stuff.
Day 11: Write about your sibling(s) or what itโ€™s like to be an only child. – Being an only child can be lonely sometimes, and also your parents pressure you a lot, since they only have you to make them proud. But, you get lots of stuff, so whatevs, right? It’s getting late and these questions ask too much of me!
Day 12: Your relationship with your parents. – I think this is a bunch of worms which need to remain in the can for tonight.
Day 13: Write about what you believe in, be it God, yourself, etc. – I believe in finding happiness, and one’s innate right to be happy, no matter how. Of course, if being happy means you absolutely need to go on a killing rampage, then maybe you shouldn’t be happy, or even alive. I’m not really one for all-life-is-sacred, because in the end we have about 6 billion on this planet, (I’m the only one with the uncanny ability to be awesome,) about half of them is in a constant state of poverty and probably dying, and the other half cares that a deranged gunman not get a death sentence? Again, let’s keep those worms for another day. My point is, being happy is all you should aim for, because once you die, who knows what else comes after?
Day 14: What you do for Valentineโ€™s Day. – I’m not allowed to celebrate this day because Amelia hates it.
Day 15: Write about the best gift youโ€™ve ever received. – It’s hard for me to pinpoint the best gift, since I constantly want and get tired of new things. I think that a photo album that a friend gave me when I left my old school was probably the most heartfelt and sweet thing, though.
Day 16: Write another poem, about the weather. – Roses are red, the sky is blue, the rain is gray, brown is poo.
Day 17: Post your favorite gif.

Cry3I used this reacting to when Amelia said that we were no longer in the honeymoon period.
Day 18: Your plans for tomorrow. – I work 8 hours.
Day 19: Write about something you fear. – I’m scared that Amelia will find being with me too tiresome as times goes on, because we either have to hide it from our families forever, or come out and face the consequences. We’re both bi, so I’m worried she’ll end up finding it easier just to be with a guy who she can be public with. But that’s silly, because she loves me, and her dog has basically imprinted on me so it will take too long for it to love someone else.
Day 20: What did you eat for dinner last night? – Dad fried up some Spam and we ate it with burger buns and he also made soup.
Day 21: Your favorite thing to drink. – SO I HAD MY FIRST WET PUSSY (well…”second”) TONIGHT AND IT WAS DELICIOUS AND I LOVE IT.
Day 22: How you take your coffee or tea. – I usually have a latte with one sugar, but I used to do double shots with one sugar as well. I take tea black with one sugar, unless it’s green, then no sugar.
Day 23: Your favorite thing to wear. – I like wearing hoodies because they feel like mobile blankets.
Day 24: Another poem, about the shoes you wear most often. – Roses are red, my shoes are purple, some bits are black, so black and purple.
Day 25: Write about where you live. – I live on a street predominantly white, and we used to have a problem with some kids down the road, who would ding-dong ditch us, and they escalated to kicking our trash over, harassing my mom when she’s working in the front yard, and once egged our house. They’ve stopped recently, though.
Day 26: Your favorite smell. – Amelia! Also bacon. OH IMAGINE IF AMELIA COOKED BACON!
Day 27: Your thoughts on the internet. – I don’t see a problem with the internet itself, I see a problem with people. It’s like guns. Yes, guns are bad things and they kill people, but honestly, a gun sitting there by itself wouldn’t be that scary, but you put a pair of hands on it and WOAH it’s a problem. It’s the same thing with the internet. It’s a great way to connect things that are otherwise unable to be connected, but once you put a human behind the mouse and….
Day 28: Write about how you feel today. – I’m a bit annoyed that I spent all day watching TV and not doing some writing, but it is my rest day after all, so I should just be happy I got to rest. Next week is a tough working week, but I’ve got Pokemon Y to look forward to on Saturday!

Advertisements

Miso awkward

I went to dinner with Mela today, and we were at this Japanese restaurant in Chinatown. We sat down sort of next to these two guys, but they were the eat eat eat eat leave type, so Mela and I could have a relatively low-voiced conversation and hear each other.

But then these two girls sat down beside us after the guys left, and for some reason they felt the need to loudly describe exactly what they want in their bento, and what they don’t want. Then they proceeded to go through the menu of bentos, saying which ones are closest to what they want, but not quite, and pondering if the waiter could change it for them.

And then when the waiter tried to explain that he couldn’t change it, they sort of did the guilt-trip “oh-oh” kind of thing. In the end they conceded anyway.

And, finally, and here’s the clincher; the waiter first brought their bento to their table, then went back into the kitchen to bring them their miso soup. As the waiter was about to set down the miso soup, one of the girls started praying rapidly. And I’m not meaning like “Dear God, thank you for this food which we are about to enjoy…”, I mean she, I don’t know, in one breathe I think she thanked every person in the Bible for the teriyaki chicken, sushi, and rice. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but she was saying them.

And the poor waiter just sort of hovered above them with one miso in each hand, unsure whether to set them down and interrupt their prayer, or just stand there waiting for them to finish what seemed to be a marathon session.

And Mela and I just sat there, trying so hard not to laugh.

I mean, I’m all for saying grace before you eat, and if you’re so in tune with God that you feel comfortable praying like that in public, I don’t know, most people just say something short. It was just so ridiculously long and rapid.

Alex.

I tried to be perfect, it just wasn’t worth it

[Pieces – Sum 41]

Day 13: Write about what you believe in, be it God, yourself, etc.

When I was in primary school, my parents told me to attend R.E. lessons for to learn about other religions.

We have a portrait of the Buddha in our living room, and sometimes, as a sort of joke, my parents would put the money they’ll buy a lotto ticket with in front of it, and ask it to bless us with luck.

When we were in Thailand, right before we left for Australia, we went to the small temple in Bangkok which a few years ago got burnt down, and there is a picture of my mother and me praying in front of it, so it would bless us with good fortune and health in the new country.

In Yr 12, I went to a friend’s baptism (which I wrote about in here but I can’t be bothered finding the link to. It was in April 2009 some time), and I mouthed along to unknown hymns and listened to all the testimonies. I watched them overflow in emotions as they took the next step to get closer to their God.

Many of my friends are either Christian or Catholic, and while I skirt around it, sometimes I find myself toeing the agreed upon veil of avoidance, and questioning their faith.

And that is the extent of my ties with religion.

That is not to say I am an atheist. Call me a coward if that’s show you see it, but I don’t think that there is one particular deity – one particular man-made deity, existing only through the documentation of man-made words – nor do I think there is none. Sometimes when I am in moments of great stress or dread, I find myself wishing – praying, dare I say – that I find some inspiration to help me out of the moment. I don’t know who I am wishing towards – ย a star? The light dancing around me, caught by flecks of dead skin? Yes, how poetic – but I do it anyway, and sometimes I am stunned to find that I am suddenly in possession of patience I didn’t know I could have, or an epiphany that seemed like the obvious choice.

So, ‘belief’. What do I believe in? I believe that you have to make your own luck – it sounds cliche, but it’s a cliche with a reason. You can be given epiphanies through forces you cannot begin to fathom, but what are epiphanies but electrons firing brighter in your brain if you don’t act upon it? I can feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have, realize that if I take 1 hour out of my day to just read I will have it under control, but if I don’t take that 1 hour out, I’d still be stressing.

I suppose I can create a metaphor. I can say that the Me is the vessel through which events happen, and quite a lot of the time that vessel is perilously close to sinking via its own accord – it thinks it should go left, then right, and then tips over unbalanced – but with a bit of guidance from the winds (that’s my unknown power in this metaphor), and as long as the vessel doesn’t fight the winds, it will be steered back onto course.

I can smell the pollen outside, but there are a few more posts I need to get through.

Alex.

Eunice’s Baptism

I suppose I could’ve titled this post with some form of dedication to God, but I’d be kidding myself.

Today was Eunice’s baptism. I picked up Carmaine and we went to the Wattle Park Chapel together. Saw Eunice and Pooki there, all dressed in their robes (robes?) and excited. I met Priscilla (okay look, different one from Fel’s, and I don’t know how to spell the name anymore) as well as Mandy. Everyone were rather friendly and happy. It’s a happy occasion.

Fel came in halfway through and had to leave halfway through. But mostly it was interesting sitting in the pews (pews? I am very clearly not religious) and listening to everyone’s testimony about how they found God. There were 11 people getting baptised today, and quite a few of them got really emotional halfway through. Good for them.

While the mood of the testimonies was really heavy, when the baptism actually came there seemed to be a huge weight lifted from the chapel (which, by the way, was a beautiful chapel. Carmaine and I both agreed on that). Pooki kicked off the baptisms, and Eunice was third. Her dad was the one who also helped (helped? Look…bear with me) baptise her, and when he started on his scripted part, he looked at Eunice meaningfully and said, “Eunice?”

“Yes?” said Eunice, staring straight back at her dad. It was such a serious moment between father and daughter that somehow made it kind of funny.

After the ceremony ended and photos began, Carmaine and I went and took some family shots and friend shots (I refrained from saying BRuCE shots as Bee wasn’t there). Then we left Eunice to sneeze into the flowers given to her, and we sat outside the chapel on the stairs and waited. We could hear Eunice inside laughing. Everytime Eunice laughed we both said to each other, “That was Eunice laughing.” So yeah, she does have a distinct laugh.

They went to Eunice’s place afterwards for a BBQ, I had to go to Chadstone with my parents (took the 767 which confused me for a bit as there were 2 bus stops within 30 meters of each other and I really didn’t see the point until luckily I realized my bus only goes to 1 of them). I got a Country Road bag. Yes, I remember how much I despise Country Road bags. But I want another bag other than my school bag, and frankly I’m not up for a long search through Chadstone to find a cheap bag that suits my needs. This one looks pretty good and, as my mom noted, it actually matches one of my jackets (red and black checkered one. The bag matches the jacket in the sense that it’s basically the same).

That’s it for today. 1 more week of holidays and unfortunately I’m going out most of the days so I don’t know when I’ll get a chance to actually finish/start my homework.

Alex.