We are that car

Yesterday, halfway through my shift, I see two familiar faces walk into my store, flanked by one which I didn’t know, but felt like I did.

It turns out, to the bidding of that third face, the first two faces decided to come into the city and visit me at work. Those faces were Mela, Ser- and their friend Jen, who, armed with a green P, was invincible.

They stood around for a bit watching me work, which was unnerving, but after a while went and sat in the restaurant waiting for to finish, which was even more unnerving. They waited for over an hour and half for me to finish my shift.

Afterwards, we all got into Jen’s car, and she drove us back to Glenny – I didn’t even notice that she was speeding, only that we were at Glenny surprisingly fast. We turned up the music loud, and I had a feeling we were THAT CAR that sped by with obnoxiously loud music. We passed the Springvale IKEA, which looked fantastically huge, and Mela and I decided we should go, even though we’re not quite sure how to get there. On a spontaneous question, Jen led us to the KTV karaoke in Glenny right in between whatever replaced JG dumplings and the other Asian restaurant right next to it, because she knew the owner – who turns out to be the least-uptight Asian venue owner you’d ever meet.

We sang for quite a while, and Ser- had her first proper drink. Which was unfortunate because we forgot to factor in the fact that she’s super thin, had next to nothing to eat, and wasn’t experienced in handling her liquor. Two beers and a tequila sunrise saw Mela and me hoisting her to the bathroom and back, lest she wipe the walls with her clothing.

We talked a lot – as alcohol coaxes people to – and afterwards we went to Petaling Street (this was sometime at 2 in the morning and I figured I was in as much shit as I could be so I stayed longer) and had a bit of food for Ser- to digest and for Jen to soothe her sore throat. Sadly, Jen got some appetite-killing news, and pushed her food away. After Petaling Street closed, we sat/stood outside on the curb letting Jen vent about the news she just received, and in general vent.

It was a good night for proving friendship, that’s for sure.

Finally, at around 4, Jen’s friends (who are, surprisingly, my friends…small world) came to pick us up because Jen was in no shape to drive. I got home as quietly as possible, and went to bed for a 3 hour nap before I got up today to shower and hand in the cursed essays which I’ve spent the last fortnight working on.

But, still, it was an eventful night to say the least.

Alex.

I’m Always In Over My Head

[Six Feet Under The Stars – All Time Low]

Last night I had a dream where you were always happy to see me, where you sought me out in a crowd, where you were concerned when I wasn’t there, where you beamed with unfiltered joy when you saw my face.

I know it was a dream, and I know that it’s not like you’re always cold towards me – we’ve had our moments – but having that dream was the happiest I’ve been for a long, long time. And yet even while dreaming, even while basking in the utter bliss, I knew it was a dream; there was no way you could love me like that.

I just thought I’d let you know.

Alex.

Squish & Ko cont’d

Sorry about the sudden cut off last night. I was getting rather tired, and beside my parents were telling me to go to sleep.

So, I do believe that I left off at the point where I left the school at the end of Period 5.

Emily needed to get home on time for a certain formal she had to attend, and since she forgot her umbrella she went with me – I’d brought another jacket and an umbrella, feeling ever so smart. It was unfortunate for her that, at the stop lights near Domain Interchange, the ground seemed to love collecting large pools of water, and through which Emily waded in her flats. She was soaked to her ankles and complaining every 3 seconds, which I would’ve found amusing but I was rather worried about my schoolbag getting wet.

We got to Flinders, and realized our train hasn’t left yet. Thundered down the escalator, and I had my finger 3 cms from the button when the light around it blinked off, and the train left the platform. Being the Connex veterans that we are, Emily and I with perhaps 3 utterances of complaints powered back up the escalator to take the Cragieburn reverse loop. Made the Glen Waverley with plenty of time to spare, except there was an old lady in a wheelchair who tried to run Emily over and swore at her when she didn’t manage.

Emily’s dad gave me a ride home, which saved me perhaps half an hour of trudging home in the wet. Dad had taken the day off and he was home – which I had no idea, so it was a surprise to see someone home – and I put my bag down, so glad that school can be out of my mind for at least 2 days.

I had a dinner plan with BRuCE at 6:30, so I went online, tried to beat my previous Tetris time, and at around 5:50 went to dress and do my hair. Yes, I did my hair. Bee said it looked good so I suppose it’s all worth it. I arrived at Coco Lounge early, and took our booth – we’d wanted that booth because we’d originally had 8 people invited. In the end 3 showed up. Eunice joined me, and we had a look at the menu, then Bianca joined us. Both of them looked smashing.

Carmaine, as I had mentioned yesterday, was sick, so she’d said she’d drop in later. At around 7:50 Carmaine came in – just as I was about to say something about her – and we had dessert; Tiramisu.

I think the point of interest was that Eunice and I had ordered Bitters, and at some point, the conversation came to this (paraphrasing may have occured):

Eunice: [imitating Kath and Kim] “It’s noice…it’s un-yooh-shle…Oy loike – IS THERE ALCOHOL IN THIS THING?”

We subsequently had a long laugh at what would happen if Eunice  was to finish the entire Bitters, and what would happen for her 18th. We had a small chat about Staff Politics and Relos, and Bianca had several mini orgasms over her prawns. And over the male waiter. Which promptly led me to mention Matt, and also for me to voice that Bianca had, by technicality, lost the bet from last July, and she owes us all a drink.

So, at 7:50 Carmaine joined us for dessert, and we had a few cheap laughs and whatnot. It felt, on the surface, that BRuCE was back to its original power again. But don’t we know otherwise, Carmaine? But, hey, it’s 11:50 in the morning and I’d had a long breakfast (mustard and salami cold, don’t do it), I don’t want to delve into that.

After taking ages to pay, we went to Strike near Village to play pool. But, and this was much to Carmaine’s distain, we needed IDs to play pool, because it is in the bar section. So we didn’t play pool, and promptly went home.

Now, Squish & Ko.

On Thursday, I’m sure I’ve mentioned about the mini cartoons that I’d done that went along the lines of “My Friends Don’t Give A Shit About Me”. My memory fails me, so I’ll repeat it in case I am wrong.

On Thursday, I had an idea to do small comics (similar to Non Sequitur) that went along the lines of…what I’d say before. They’re just small ditties that have happened to me, or that I’ve noticed. On Thursday night I put down 2, and yesterday while waiting for dinner I put down 2. Scanned them up this morning. Have a look:

I am aware that it’s not straight, and I am very aware that it’s rather small so you’d have to click on it, and it’s simply screaming at me obvious that it’s a bit of a rip-off of Pon and Zi, of which I am a big fan.

It will get better, and hopefully less emo.

Well, I’ve uploaded NCIS and am just waiting to watch it. Have a good holidays, and Happy Easter (I mean, I’m still coming back, I’m just saying this now).

Alex.

And know that…

What happened to us?
I heard that it’s me we should blame.
What happened to us?
Why didn’t you stop me from turning out this way?
And know that I don’t hate you.
And know that I don’t want to fight you.
And know I’ll always love you.
But right now I just don’t…

Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet? – Relient K

I know I’ve used the same song about a week ago but it’s a damned good song with good applicable lyrics.

I do love you, I always will. I have no idea how to be angry at you because I simply love you again. But I do have things to tell you.

D.F.

25 Things I Hate About You

Got this off Vania’s blog but I also know that it’s been circulating around Facebook.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You  have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

(Clearly, tagging is a Facebook thing. I’m not tagging anyone. This is a BLOG. I just don’t have too much to blog about.)

1. I’m short-sighted but I only wear glasses when I read, not when I’m out and about. It’s a bit of a contradiction because I suppose short-sighted people technically need it for out and about, and not for reading. But oh well.

2. I have that stupid “7 Things” by Cyrus stuck in my head right now because of my title.

3. I bite my nails, which is a bad habit. But for a while in Year 8 I went through this phase of growing my nails so long, that someone said I should cut it ‘cos its length is disturbing. I never managed to grow my nails again.

4. I wish that FRIENDS is still going. Actually, I just wish that I can write for FRIENDS. Not because it was successful (that too) but because it’s such a well-made show.

5. I. I don’t know, I wrote the last four starting with I. I should write one starting with something else.

6. YOU. Heh.

7. If there’s any mythical creature I could be (and I mean, in any myth. Ancient Greek, Gothic, Ancient Chinese, Japanese etc) I would be a vampire. Yah.

8. Once, I read a book where a main character had a habit of chewing his lips. I liked that character a lot so I started chewing my bottom lip as well. It’s now become a habit, and my bottom lip is dry, cracks a lot, has bruised-looking bits where the flesh split. Stupid son-of-a-bitch book. It was a good book, though.

9. I have a tendency to make close friends with people significantly taller, or at the very least noticeably taller than me, with a few exceptions. And by them I mean Bee, April, Yeleng, Swinsetbsnm…(Shorty Who Is Not Short Enough To Be Shorty No More. Yeleng came along and took the title of “Shorty” from Christina. Christina is now known as Swin.)

10. 25 is a really big number. I could end it here and it will become “10 Things I Hate About You” but of course THAT concept has been taken.

11. I’ve planned out my funeral songs. I think a few people already know this. But for reference, those songs are “Savin’ Me” by Nickelback, “The Reason” by Hoobastank, and at the end of the service, when they’re playing a nostalgic but fun-filled slideshow of my life, I want “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter playing. So far, barring Nickelback, my funeral songs have been put on Singstar for me to fail miserably at whilst I’m still alive.

12. [BANG!] Mm whatchoo say…

13. I think back in Grade 5 or 6, I wanted and wished that Pokemon is real so badly that I even made up this story in my head about what would happen. Basically, it went something along the lines of every one of my other classmates getting a Bulbasaur or a Charmander or Squirtle, but then a specially lucky student gets a Pikachu, and I got the Pikachu, and then there was this invention which allowed us to open portals from our world to the Pokemon world (I have to specify, I only went as far as the Kanto region, but I suppose it’s okay seeing as from there you can travel to Johto and Hoenn anyway). I wanted that so badly one day I woke up thinking, “okay, today the news will say that Pokemon is real and that all the children will embark on their new journey as soon as possible.” Of course it never happened.

14. Going onto that, I also wished for a while that Beyblades did more than just zoom around the stupid shoebox. I wished and I pretended like I could control the toy with my will, like they do in the anime. I’m such a dag.

15. Looking back, actually I wished a lot of the anime world was real, depending on which one I was into at that time. Case in point, I wanted to be one of the ninjas and live in Konoha with Naruto. I wished that I believed in “The Heart Of The Cards” and kicked ass alongside my alter ego like Yugi. I wished that I one day realized that I’ve got Saiyan blood in me and I could power up to Super Saiyan and fly around and shoot energy balls from my hands. I wished that I was one of the Wicked Witches and killed Bloom and all her stupid fairy cronies (Ha, okay, I wasn’t into Winx Club but I was going through Toasted TV in my head and I remembered it). I even wished I was in Onizuka’s class in GTO, even though I would have to have something drastically wrong with me.

16. I started blogging on WordPress after I went to  journalism conference with April all the way back in 2007 (or 2006, but I’m pretty sure it’s the former) and they were saying, if you want to get better at writing, then keep a blog. I’ve sort of tried to write with accurate grammar, or thereabouts, on my blog.

17. It annoys me when people just say to me “You’re smart, you’ll ace it.” I’m not, and I don’t.

18. Haha this just popped into my head from this afternoon: “I have CDO. It’s OCD but in alphabetical order, the way it should be.”

19. After I think reading on a book about 2 girls who were raised as individuals but one day found each other by chance and realized that they’re twins, and together they had magical powers (I said I’m a dag, right?) and I think the series was called T*Witches, anyway, after reading that, I wondered if maybe I had a twin out there. At first it went like my parents had to give up my twin and I’m living with my birth parents. Later it changed to I’ve been given away and I meet my “real parents” and they’re awesome and my twin is heaps fun but she’s much girlier and all my friends are surprised when they see her because it’s strange to see a girly version of me.

20. Fuck, nearly there.

21. What a cheat, haha!

22. I’d like to think I’m a good listener. The thing is I wasn’t before, at all. So I don’t know if I’m a good listener by general definition because I can’t be any worse of a listener than I was before, save actually saying “LA LA LA LA” over someone else talking to me.

23. Pon and Zi are so adorable, and I loved them more when I saw the artist’s earlier works, when he didn’t find his love, and they were really hurtful and pained, and to see the pictures now when he’s become happier makes me love Pon and Zi more. My favorite at the moment is the one where the yellow one (can’t tell which is which) is saying to the blue one “I love you” but the blue one has music on and didn’t hear him.

24. I love Bianca, Carmaine, Eunice, Dani, D.P. and April. More than anyone else. I know it seems a bit redundant when I’ve put up so many names. But well yeah.

25. FINALLY! This was harder than the ones with prompts. If someone has one with prompts send them over.

Keep Cool (I love You)

D.F.

Rhyming rhyme with time…

I’m hitting a dry spell for blogging material. So I dredge up stuff from my files.

Okay, so this time, it’s something that some of you might’ve read already (and then forgotten, which is okay, because I’ve forgotten who I’ve shown).

I wrote an “emo song” earlier this year. There’s no music to it yet (I asked Ca- but she never got back…) so anyone who wants to, go ahead.

I won’t write another sad song
Because I didn’t shed a tear,
I won’t argue who was right or wrong
Or who was and wasn’t there.

I won’t say it was you
I won’t place any blame
But now I’m through
Playing this polite game

I’m letting you know…

I’m moving on
You were nothing to me, you meant nothing to me
I’m staying strong
Just so I can come back to show you that I’ve moved on.

You said you liked me,
Said you cared for me, and then you stab me
Right in the back
Infidelity, inconsistency, in an unforgiveable way.

Now I’m over you
I’m through with you, I’m fighting proof
Of a hating heart
A vengeful start, a bleeding shard, a world of gray.

And now you know…

I’m moving on
You were nothing to me, you meant nothing to me
You were wrong
And now I’ve come back to prove you that I’m moved on.

If hate is blinding, my world is black
If revenge is sweet, then my tooth is that
If lies are no longer white, then love is no longer war
If this is all there is, what is our heart fighting for?

I’m moving on
You were nothing to me, you meant nothing to me
You weren’t worth it
You weren’t worth the words you spoke (nothing to me)
You weren’t worth these words I wrote (nothing to me)
You weren’t worth the air you choke (I’ve come back to show you, to prove to you)
I’ve gone and moved on.

Can someone turn the happiness on?

Why am i not happy like I used to be? I used to be able to have long happy thoughts and memories, my imaginations full of fun things we could do, have done, should do, so forth. Now it’s hard for me to think happily. Despite myself, I keep hearing a darker voice telling me to see the worst in things. To see the glass as half empty instead of being grateful for the water I’ve been given.

And I should be happy. It’s not from the person I’d originally thought, but I’ve gotten everything I ever wanted in a friend. And all I could do to her is complain about how she’s not the person. I should just cut the crap. I’ve been given a pretty good run for the past weeks and a pretty good run coming up for the holidays.

There are three letters I want to write before the year is out. They’re each to Bianca, Carmaine, Dani and Eunice. I want to thank them, in a lengthy manner. But I don’t even know where to start. Last year Carmaine wrote me 2 simple pages, A5, and in less than 200 words she’d struck the chord, and given me a message I still keep in my wallet. I should be able to do the same. I should be able to write the same kind of things so easily. But I can’t even find the voice that I write with.

Last night I had a long and, let’s face it, depressing conversation with Dani. Well, no. The topic of conversation was depressing, but I felt more relaxed and comfortable and…content than if we were talking about plans for the summer holidays.

There was just one other moment when I was content, and that was when I was at Bee’s house, lying in her lap while she was…trying…to study for History. Just watching the Flinestones and feeling her breathing.

I’m not happy or content unless I’m with someone else, these days. I personally depress myself. I can’t stand the crash back to reality after my dreams end.

De Fluffe, Out.