By Day, The Lollipop Man…

…by night…!?

Do you ever walk past someone and, in a fit of complete boredom and perhaps curiosity, you make up a story about them?

See, I walked past a lollipop man last week (the crossing guard, who holds up the stop sign near a school crossing and blows a whistle to let you cross), and to be polite I smiled and said hi. His expression didn’t change, and he didn’t say hi back.

The thing is, a few months back I walked past the same lollipop man, at the same crossing, at the same time of the day, and he would smile warmly and say hi back at me.

Yesterday I walked past that lollipop man, and as he stepped out into the road with his stop sign to blow the whistle, he smiled at a student who goes to the school he guards the crossing for (I’m obviously not in uniform). I assumed he didn’t smile at familiar faces, because he would definitely remember me because recently I’ve been crossing there rather often.

Today, as I stood at the curb waiting for him to step out, I saw my bus come up. The crossing is around 30 meters away from the bus stop, and as I saw the bus draw up and he had to let it pass, I sighed to myself. He said to me with a smile, “is that your bus? You better run for it!”

I made the bus, just. As I sat down on the bus, slightly out of breath (dude, I am so unfit), I thought about his smile and words to me.

He obviously realized that I’m going to be showing up a lot more, so was he trying to make conversation in order to have a good reason to smile and say hi the next time I cross at his crossing? But he should remember me from me crossing a few months back, and even if I didn’t show up for a bit, I smiled at him and said hi when I crossed, so I took the initiative to bridge the hiatus right?

And it wasn’t that he didn’t say hi to anyone anymore; he did to the student.

So I made up a small story about why he didn’t say hi to me at first.

Maybe he has another job, and in that job he had come across Asian kids who wronged him somehow, or gave him an impression of untrustworthy Asian kids – look, I’m not being racist against him or against Asians, but Asians are just as likely to hold up a 7/11 as a white kid or a curry kid or whatever, but I’m Asian so it’s my weird logic – and he was so taken by this impression that he wouldn’t even smile at another Asian. I wouldn’t blame him – if an Asian guy with a, say, mohawk beat me up or something, I would not be able to really look at another Asian guy with a mohawk.

OR he used to smile and say hi to an Asian kid and then that Asian kid got into some accident or something bad, and everytime he sees an Asian kid, he remembers that other Asian kid and feels sad. He was just wary of being attached to another Asian kid, no matter how fleeting their “conversation” are.

But I mean, it’s rather interesting what our mind makes up about another stranger based on ONE action that they do. For another example, I was in the bathroom at the shopping center fixing my hair (oh hush) and as I walked into the bathroom, I immediately went to the sinks and got out my hairwax, and started fixing my hair in the mirror. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a lady who was there already making an action which I immediately knew was her stopping herself from crying and quickly wiping away tears. I decided not to suddenly walk out after obviously noticing she was just crying, because it would make her feel slightly worse that other people are avoiding her and that it was obvious she was upset, but I snuck another look at her through the mirror. She was taking deep breaths to calm herself, and if she’d looked my way I was going to give her a reassuring smile, but she quickly sniffed and wiped her cheeks, then walked out.

As far as my imagination could go, she could have just murdered someone and felt remorse. I could have gone on to imagine something Hollywood like her husband cheated on her, and he has a large trust-fund or something. Or maybe she was actually a spy (HOMG I WAS GONNA SMILE AT A SPY) and her husband doesn’t know, and is going to leave her because he thinks she doesn’t love him anymore (I didn’t notice if she had a ring, but if she was a spy a ring means nothing).

Or maybe she just got told off by her boss. So.

OR MAYBE…

Alex.

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I Don’t Mind Illusions

[All The Same – Sick Puppies]

The title is ironic, because here is my thought of the day:

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

There are stories that are NOT for another time, but must be finished NOW. For example: “…well, it was that time when I kissed a transvestite, but that’s another story.”

THAT has to be told NOW.

Alex.

Gone

So, I got my computer back on Sunday.

Remember how I’d said I may have lost some files, but hopefully they’ve been backed up?

Apparently not. I’ve lost every single one of my files, yet my parents have kept all of their’s. The injustice is that they barely look at their’s, and my files…my files made up a large part of who I am, and what I’ve done to reach this.

I’ve lost all the stories and work I’ve done over the years. (Including Guardian Angel, which I wonder who still has copies of) I’ve lost all my drawings and photos, including a huge Smallville picture database (which means I have to go stalk Tom Welling and Kristen Kreuk on Google Images again), everything that I’ve collected from Carmaine as well as most of the really hard to retrieve pictures from 2006 and 2007.

But.

Most of all.

I’ve lost all my music.

Actually, my music is probably the one thing that I can get back most easily. But that’s not actually my point.

Well, so I suppose the next few  months would consist of me slowly building up my files again. We should be getting a new computer, a new…BETTER computer so I can start again there. I’ll try to find everything again, maybe I still have some of my best short stories on my USB. I’ll stretch my resources thin tryng to get back photos. I’ll have to start recollecting all of my lyrics as well as my guitar tabs and so forth (God that’ll be painful. But at least it means I get an opportunity to start a proper categorized folder for it).

I suppose I can catch everyone up on how my progress in recollecting my past 6 years is. And it’s a good thing I’d posted those 2 chapters up (I hadn’t really written any more than that).

So, whinge over, time to get on with it.

Other than that, things are going well in life. Well, as in, I suppose there are things I want to say, problems I want to have solved, but my saying them wouldn’t necessarily solve the problems, and solving the problems won’t necessarily stop my urge from saying those things, still. I am happy, mostly, so that’s what’s important.

Alex.