Burn Another Bridge, Break Another Heart

Lost this song and finally got it back yesterday. Missed this song a lot!

Heading into the annoying period of exams. I think I’ll be fine but I do have to get my ass into gear to start studying a little. Also, one essay.

I did enrollment stuff for 2011 yesterday, and the subjects I picked meant that Semester 1 will once again be full of writing, and Semester 2 research. I kinda hate that. But near as I can tell, I won’t have a single exam next year. Just. LOTS OF WORDS.

I have beaten the Elite Four.

I simply cannot wait til I am done with my exams. Then it is 15 posts a month on this blog, right? I have been neglectful.

Alex.

Advertisements

Now I Find Myself In Question

[Runaway – Linkin Park]

Day 26 โ€” The last person you made a pinky promise to

That was to Jackie, a few days ago, to tell her to come on MSN instead of falling asleep. She didn’t keep it.

Yep.

Ah, I know that I haven’t really written anything about Uni starting. The subjects I’m doing this semester is harder, and requires more thinking. So far I’ve been made to think about how identity is ever changing, and how what feels natural to us is unnatural to someone else in another culture. Then something about Asia, and then I revisited my Yr 12 English Language course.

Alex.

Differences Noted

I think the major different of high school compared to university has finally dawned on me.

I mean, apart from the lifestyle – I mean the public lifestyle. Life at home is still the same. I’m still being treated like an 8-year-old who can’t make decisions for herself when it suits my mom’s needs…but that’s another rant – which is obviously different, like the blatant smoking and drinking around campus. Apart from that, the academic side of university is also finally showing itself.

It might have been obvious to Science and Biomed students from the get go, because their level of work is quickly stepping up (I cannot say for sure, not having done the subjects, but the speed at which high school chemistry traveled would indubitably be snail-speed compared to what university would be going). But for myself, an Arts student, the first few weeks of university hasn’t really been that different.

Sure, I don’t have to do maths or Chinese anymore, and each subject is getting more specialized and, to a certain degree, globalized (as in, each subject really only talks about the scope of said subject, and more about global issues rather than Australian issues) but really it just felt like a slightly more intense elective subject at high school.

But when my essays started hitting, I found things different.

In high school, you are more or less told what to do, how to do it, and then whoever can copy that formula the best while not appearing to have copied that formula gets an A. You might think you have more choice in VCE, what with the 3 different topics you can write about on the SAME book, or the “freedom” you have to “express yourself” in the “Whose Reality?” part of the exam. But, not really. Again, you’re more or less told what the expected outcome is, and you reach for that.

In uni, it’s just that one step scarier. First of all, you’re not REALLY told what is expected of you. You get a few samples of the genre/s that you’re probably trying to emulate – note, emulate, not copy – and these aren’t even past student examples, these are real life examples. You get the description of what the assignment is, for example “30 – 40 lines of poetry, roughly equivalent to a 1000 word essay”. Then they give you 4 weeks of random poetry to read, poets coming in to tell you how they stumbled across poetry, and then bam! your poems are due next week.

Poetry isn’t so hard to understand how to write, really. I mean, write, not write well. You can write anything and you can say it’s poetry, and no one can really dispute you, because it is poetry, just crappy poetry.

But my 2nd Creative Writing assignment had me stumped; a creative non-fiction.

I know what it is; I’ve read the Hiroshima example, and it was fantastic. But what topic can I write about? To be able to creatively write about a non-fictional topic, you’d have to have a respectable amount of knowledge about it. To get a respectable amount of knowledge, you’d have to research – and researching, then transferring this knowledge creatively, will take a lot longer than the time given for this assignment. So of course you’d have to write about something you already know.

That’s all good if you already knew shitloads about, say, Roal Dahl, or whatever. But I don’t! So a weekend was spent desperately trying to think of what to write. And that was the most frustrating part; I know I have the skills, I just don’t have a medium to show it. It would be good if in tutes we were given a list of possible topics, but we weren’t, and that’s how uni rolls.

In the end, I chose to write about music, and how music is experienced differently by different people.

But that’s just Creative Writing. Then we have Professional Writing, which is easier in some senses, and harder in some. I got my result for my first assignment – the magazine profile – back. I thought I’d done well – not fantastic, but well. I’d stuck to the conventions of my chosen genre of magazines – but the result said that, if I don’t draft this assignment for my end of semester folio, I’d only get a 60% mark. It would have been okay if I knew where I went wrong, but I’m not quite sure. I suppose that’s the difference – now you have to go ask the tutor why, and they’ll probably not answer you properly.

You know, I also noticed that I use the hyphen a lot more now. It gets annoying.

For my other two subjects, Cinema Studies and Intro to Media and Comm, I have 2 research projects’ due date coming up. After today (I’m going out today, which I will write about tomorrow, probably) I’m going to have to start doing the research for those two. Cinema Studies has me researching cinematic monsters, and Intro to M+C has me working with Annie and Christy for something which none of us has started so I guess it’ll be a bit of a last minute pull.

So things are definitely different in university now. I’m having fun, don’t get me wrong, because these things are my forte, and I actually enjoy them. But it is noticeably harder and more stressful to get that optimum mark.

Oh my god, I’m still mark-driven.

Alex.

For You In Full Blossom

A.k.a. Hanazakari no Kimitachi e. A.K.A. Hana Kimi.

I watched it 2 years ago, when it came out. Twice. But just this weekend I’d gotten legit copies of it so I’ve been watching it again.

Right, so the reason I haven’t blogged in such a long time is because of this:

Firstly, my net capped. As per usual when my net caps, I wait until the new month to blog, because WordPress takes a while to load on a capped net. However, just a few days ago my computer decided to die on me. Apparently viruses finally got the better of it. We’d taken it to a family friend’s so he can reformat it (and hopefully back up all my files somewhere) but yeah it’s pretty sad not having the computer there. Walking into the study and seeing the empty space where the CPU used to be, it’s like walking into a room where someone had just moved out forever. Well it’s coming back but I still miss it.

As a result, I can’t go online at all, except at school, which is where I am right now, writing a delayed blog post. I can’t go on Facebook, and as Emily had noted I have been absent on MSN for a long time (which is how she figured something was wrong with my computer). I shudder at how many notifications I’d have to sort through when I get back. OR, alternatively and true to FML, I’d go back and realize I don’t have a single notification from a friend asking for my whereabouts. I’m reading a lot more now (what else can I do?) so the other day, neglecting to read my school set texts of In the Lake of the Woods and Hard Times, or not even finish my Hitchhiker’s Guide series, I borrowed a teen novel called Unwind, as well as Frankenstein and The Green Mile by Steven King. No idea if I will finish any of those, considering I should get my computer back soon.

So so, what has been happening in my life outside of my technological setback?

On Tuesday, school started late because of the parent-teacher interview the evening prior. BRuCE went to school early to make breakfast in the Common Room (Eunice had found a recipe for microwave omelette) only to find others with similar ideas. Except Sanj. Sanj went to school early because she thought she was being on time.

We heated up soup, and then Eunice made the omelette, which was really nice – totally worth making the Common Room smell like onionsย – and then, since the Yr 9s were having a year level breakfast, all their left over food came to us. So we have 7 2L bottles of milk and 3 large tins of Milo at our disposal. We even went as far as THANKING the Yr 9s for their contribution.

On Wednesday I had my hair cut. It’s not that big a deal but I have to style it now. It’s the 2nd day with the haircut but I’m still receiving a few compliments. Yay! Again, totally worth waking up 10 minutes early just to do my hair.

Tomorrow I start my English tutoring at Tye for Hard Times, which is a problem seeing as I haven’t really READ THE BOOK! I wonder if that’ll matter. Oh wel the shit will come when it comes.

My cousin’s birthday was last week, I don’t know if I mentioned. I called her up over the weekend and we had a talk, and then started to exchange emails. It’s pretty nice to be in touch with my cousin again, I feel. Hopefully it’s the same for her. I should probably give her the link to this blog when I frequent my entries again.

Well, here comes May. Time seems to be playing tricks. For a period of time it seems like the week will never end, yet we’ve stepped into May, nearly halfway through. I am loving my time with my friends now more than ever, because I am often being told by last year’s Yr 12s that after graduation you hardly get to see your friends. I really really don’t want to be distanced from my best friends.

Ahhh too sentimental. I have to write this quickly because I may not get another chance to blog until after the weekend (hopefully computer will be back by my next entry).

Finally:

To be able to discern the re-twining of the netting in our safety net, I feel much more at ease. Four pairs of hands, and four hearts and minds are simply so much stronger and efficient.

Alex.

Monash Uni Camp 2009

On Monday and for a good half of today I was on my Monash Uni camp, at where else but Monash University?

Since it was a 2 day thing, I might cut a few things short. And we’ve had so many laughs and jokes and good one-liners that I can’t remember them all. I’ll try my best to see what comes to mind.

Got up early (but not as early as I’d have to get up tomorrow) and picked up Bianca and Fel from Bee’s house. Were one of the first ones (ish) to get there, but waited around for Carmaine and Eunice so we ended up being one of the middle-last ones to register. I was in a room with Carmaine while Bianca, Eunice, Mary, Fel and EmPow were in the next room. Actually, they’re like clusters of rooms, so as 48 and 49 Carmaine and I were in one cluster with 47, 46 and 45. And as 50 and onwards, the others were in the next cluster. We had no idea where our rooms were so it took some walking around to get there. Who the hell knew G stood for Ground level?

Started the camp off with the “Conference Housekeeping” (ah gotta love the program sheet). Were told what to do, what not to do, that it’s a school camp, etc. Were told lights out at 11. Oh what a story that became. For future references, every one of our “conference sessions” were held in a large theatre. For all but 2 sessions I sat in the front row with BRuCE, and most of the time Dani.

After the Conference Housekeeping came the Study Sensei, which wasn’t in Japanese. It was held by two girls called Sam and Laura, the former being 24 but we all thought she was about 18-19, and I still don’t know how old Laura is but she looked a bit younger. They told us various ways to study and to take notes, and what is a good thing to do, what is not, etc. They told us that exercise books are not a good idea. I thought “psh, I just bought them, no way I’m going to looseleaf now.” Laura played a memory game with us, trying to make us remember information about her family and life. I think that was the only interesting part of it all.

Had morning tea, which was basically everyone cramming into the common room grabbing at drinks and biscuits. Then we went to VCE Enrolment, where we filled out those mandatory forms and signed those legal releases. Then we were told about the sports activities for the afternoon.

Had lunch, in the dining hall, which in so many ways made us think of a Chinese restaurant – all that was missing were the soy sauce and chopsticks. Halfway through lunch, something happened that made Carmaine spill water onto her crotch. Luckily she was wearing tights so the discomfort is only known to her, no one else could see. We had a loud laugh and Bee sighed and asked no one in particular, “Do you see what I have to put up with?”

We then went to the sports activities. I signed up for Tennis but it took ages for the gate to be opened, so much so that Bianca, Shaz and EmPow left and went back to the rooms. Bianca and Shaz didn’t come back to play, but EmPow did. Fel and I rallied (that is, tried) a few times with Jenko and Gif-. Then we played singles for a while, before EmPow came back. After a while, Carmaine and Eunice joined us, and EmPow, and those two and I played a few rallies. I got rather sunburnt (again). Actually, I was wearing a wristguard (weak wrist) and I have a rather distinct tan line of where the wristguard starts and ends. I was rather puffed out and tired at the end of the game. And later that night when I had a chance to look into the mirror I was tomato red. When I got back to the room, I had a quick rinse in the shower and went out to afternoon tea. Then, back to the Deakin Theatre to listen to our principal talk, and then Miss K- talked to us about VCE stuff. Not much is what we haven’t heard, or know, but it was a bit daunting to have it all said again.

Then came a speaker called Jelena Popovic. She is a magistrate. April remarked that she talked JUST LIKE Ms MacA- and it was found out later on that the reason for that is they’re actually siblings. Popovic always made jokes about Ms MacA- being strict, and when she did she would cup her hands over the mike as if she were whispering, but by doing so she actually made her words louder and audible.

Before dinner, Carmaine went to play pool while I properly washed my hair, but when I left my room I couldn’t find her, nor anyone else. I walked around the residence area, shouting her name. I managed to find Eunice, and made our way to Shaz’s room via mobile instructions. Then, sticking my head out of Shaz’s room, I shouted “CARMAINE! CARMAINE!” I found a few people walking around down below (that is, Shaz’s room is on the 2nd floor, or 3rd floor if you’re American) and asked “HAVE YOU SEEN CARMAINE!?” Someone answered, “No I didn’t. But…” then went out of sight and earshot, and I started frantically shouting “BUT WHAT?!” I went back to our room in case she was there, nup. Walked around the area a little bit more just in case, and asked a lot more people. Nup. Finally, Carmaine called Eunice back in Shaz’s room, and I went to get her. Upon seeing her, I said, “Don’t be surprised if later people start telling you that I’m looking for you.” Later, at dinner, Nagi-, one of the people whom I shouted at, asked me, “So did you end up finding Carmaine?” Played pool with Carmaine after dinner, and somehow pulled a hammy on the table.

Had another speaker after that, talking about relationships. Her talk had ups and downs, I suppose it was a good relief from the incessant talk about schoolwork, but at the same time it wasn’t anything I didn’t already know about myself. The speaker was clearly a big fan of Sex In The City and Delta Goodrem. She showed us a a couple of love songs that might make different people feel different ways, two of which were Goodrem songs and one was “Feel” by Robbie Williams. We talked about Toxic and Nontoxic relationships, and reasons why people might stay in the latter. Nearly every suggestion that came up somehow rounded its way back to “for the sex” or “for the money”. Then, near the back I hear a voice say, “Emotional blackmail. As in if the partner says ‘I’ll kill myself if you leave me’.” Took a look-see, and of course, that was Dani (love you). There was a clip called “catfight” which was actually about 7 tiny adorable puppies chasing and bullying this cat, which was trying to run away and defend itself. Also there was a music clip for “I’m A Believer” the song, and true to our nature, we all sang along to the chorus. Oh, and almost forgot to mention. There was a poem which the speaker wanted us to listen to and write down 3 emotions we think the poem, a breakup poem, was about. I don’t remember much of the poem except it was a generic sappy heartbreak crap, but there were 2 lines that went something along the lines of “You blew it one too many times…I don’t want to get off the joyride that you give me” or something. About 3/4 of the theatre sniggered, I included. Carmaine elbowed me exasperatedly, because at time we were sitting very close to the teachers.

Had supper, then had some time left before Lights Out at 11. We all (that is, BRuCE, Shaz and Fel) went up to Shaz’s room and hung out a bit, and decided to play truth-or-truth. We got as far as something about Bee that I can’t remember but it was something I knew, Eunice’s past crushes, the fact that I’d rather do Michael Jackson than Mr G (Only because like HELL I’d EVER do Mr G), and that Carmaine would rather do Mrs Wil- than Ms Gar-, but only because she likes the former’s lipstick (ie, the “taste of her cherry chapstick”. One of my better calls for the night). EmPow, Franco and Hobo came in later, and we started playing Mafia. In the 4 rounds, I was a Mafia, Detective, Detective, then the narrator. Won as the Mafia, lost as Detective first time because we blamed the wrong people (haha Carmaine was my fellow detective but we ended up blaming the wrong person, who was a Civillian), lost as Detective second time because I was killed, and then as the narrator narrated a rather funny story (everyone laughed…but I was gruesome…so…) and in the end Fel managed to give away the game.

We were hitting about 15 minutes until lights out when we all went back to our rooms. Had a bit of a confused moment when Carmaine and I wanted to spend the night in Bee and Eunice’s cluster, but couldn’t lug the mattresses to their cluster without being suss, and then later on when Carmaine and I were trying to get Bee and Eunice over to my room because if we moved Carmaine’s mattress to my room we’d have space, it was already past 11 and Bee was too scared. So instead we slept in my room, I on the floor because I didn’t like how soft the bed was (nor did I like how soft the mattress and pillow were) and talked for about 2 and a half hours. At some point, we were lying horizontally across the bed, with our feet on the wall next to the bed, and we started stomping the wall. Then came a loud “thump thump” and we were like “OH CRAP SOMEONE’S IN THE ROOM NEXT TO US!” Turned out to be Mary, and we were concerned that she may have overheard our conversation, but she said “I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL YOU TWO STARTED STAMPING ON THE WALL!” We called Eunice and they were playing Snap and Spit in their room, so we just kept on talking. Covered many an interesting topic of conversation, and were pretty honest with each other which I was really really grateful for. Then at around 1:20 am, we called Dani’s mobile, and were greeted with a small unappreciating croak. We asked, “Aww, were you asleep?” And got a confirming croak in reply. “Oh, sorry honey. Go back to sleep. Goodnight, we love you.” “Errgghh…” “Aww you’re so cute!” “Urrhh…”

We pretty much decided to go to sleep after that, but I couldn’t fall asleep because of the foreign bed. Got up at around 3 to pee, and every muscle in my body ached (so damned out of shape) from tennis. Had a tough time trying to open the damn door, and Carmaine half-asleep asked “What are you doing?” “Go back to sleep, I’m trying to open this son of a bitch door.”

Phone alarm went off at 6:30 but continued sleeping until 7. Eunice came into the room with her Wong-Ar shirt, and then Bee joined us. In a general sleepy mess we changed, brushed, washed, toileted (and Carmaine used the hand dryer to blow dry her hair, what a champ) and packed. Had breakfast, and April and Dani sat with us. Bianca wasn’t too happy that I was talking so loudly in the morning (no one was…but Carmaine smiled and joked around with me anyway). Dani tried to kill me by feeding me a super large piece of fruit. After breakfast we went to the pool room and shot some balls (ha). We heard through the grapevine that on the previous night, on one of the upper floors, a few girls were in the room together when a teacher came around and so they either went back to their rooms, or, as a few did, hid in the cupboard. Except the teacher heard them hiding into the cupboard so they were ultimately busted hiding in the cupboard. Oh man, that’s pretty classic, in my opinion.

Listened to some Peer Support talks and tips, and some things about the Common Room which is OURS NOW. In the Peer Support thing, we had an activity in groups and were each given a scenario to cope with. My group had “You left your school notes on the train and is having a SAC in a few days” and was asked “What will you do to minize this happening in the future?” I wrote “Staple it to your forehead.”

We then went off into a few different things, where we could talk to ex-MacRob students about some of the specific courses we might be intersted in. Design was a funny one, because the girl more or less told us not to do it because it’s shit pay, loads of work, and no social life. Arts was vague but I actually think it’s pretty cool because there are so many choices in Arts. But Media. Oh Media. I am actually now excited about doing Media and Communication in Melb U. First of all, the contact hours are only about 12 hours a week (score) and secondly, even if I ultimately can’t get what I want to do, I think that marketing and PR isn’t bad, and I believe that I have the creativity skills to get me there. As long as I pull my arse in and really get out there and do work experience. Plus if I go to Melb U, I may be able to live with Dani. Carmaine is interestined in Pharmacy, and I think that would be so incredibly awesome if she does it because my parents would love her more. Haha! But there are other reasons too, and as she said her wanting Pharmacy would motivate her to do well in Chem this year. Eunice is interested in Med (what else? But I honestly think Eunice is one of the few people who would REALLY REALLY just SUPERACHIEVE in that field). I didn’t see much of Bianca after this conference but then again I already have a fair idea of what she’s passionate about.

Had lunch on the floor of the dining room due to lack of seats. Mai took pictures of us being hobos. Found out something awesome about April’s brother, and I am so happy for him because I know he must be so happy right now, and so carefree. And also there was a funny mo’, when as a joke I said, “Carmaine might be hiding something from us all this time” and April replied, “with those tights on, I don’t think so.”

Finally, did some evaluation of the overall camp, and then left Monash and went home. Walked home in the sun, therefore I got sunburnt AGAIN. School photos is tomorrow. Oh dear god help me. I checked out my face; on the side with the fringe, it’s fine-ish. On the side without the fringe…oh my FUNKY gosh. I look like a premature version of Two-Face.

Anyway, I’ve written a pretty damn long blog. I’m sorry to make you read all this.

Keep Cool (and your dreams alive)

D.F.

Subject selections

Well, I’ve left it until the last minute only to realize that there isn’t a choice in the online selection for Chinese outside of school, so, I’ve left it blank and will go to Miss D- tomorrow, after about a day of running around worried.

I’m so glad I don’t have to do Japanese anymore.

I remember writing this blog in my old blog Jalix about how shitty it was that I had to be separated from my friends because of blocking. Because for two years I’ve had nearly every class with them and suddenly I won’t really see any of them in class. I didn’t think back then that we’d still hang out. I thought that classes were the things that held us together. Well okay it kind of was. I mean this year the group dynamics changed a lot, not just for my group but for others too. I haven’t really noticed enough to make an overall comment, but groups have enlarged and split, and changed too. Sa- never hangs out withย  us anymore because of her musical commitments but we’ve more or less adopted Bel- and Son-. At the start of the year we lost Julia for awhile to Sha- but she came back :).

But the reason I brought this up is because graduation is going to be a LOT more different. I mean, I might be wrong, we might all go to the same Uni more or less, but see we’ll definitely be doing different courses and at different times…unlike high school, our timetables will become flexible. So…what’s going to happen then? Would I have to make some friends who take my course, and then gradually stop contacting my current ones because…out of sight out of mind? I don’t think so. Too bad guys. I’m fighting for ya.

Bel- wants to start a band. I can’t say I am utterly excited but…I might be wrong. It might be fun. We might be mediocre. I learnt “A Lonely September” yesterday, all of it. My internet is a bit slow today so I can’t link you to the video clip but it’s a nice song and when I get the chance I’ll link you.

Oh I think I may have gotten myself more readers. Although I hope they will become commentors too. So, Car-, and when they do come on, Bee and Eu-, do comment!

Final thing. I said in a previous entry that Car- named a puppy we saw Megan. I was wrong. Apparently she didn’t. Neither of us remember what she actually named her (if she named her at all) but I apologize for “fabricating things”.

But don’t you think that Kenny is a good name for a little hairy puppy?

De Fluffe, Out.