Fail Moment Written Down

I forgot to mention this on Friday, and only remembered it now as I am doing last minute Eng Lang homework.

We were going through some answers for a past trial exam, and there was this text about the narrator’s childhood in the Darling Downs, in Queensland.

So, Miss M asks Lisa, “Why do you think the examiners chose this text?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh come on, it’s really easy; you don’t even have to think about it.”

“Because it’s written down?”

“…Okay you have to think about it a little bit.”

Fail.

Alex.

Thursday 1:20 am – 1:40 am

Those were the 20 most hectic minutes of my life. Not physically, but emotionally.

Did you know what I did? I called you. And when it became obvious you were hanging up on me I seriously started freaking out. So I called “Michelle” to get your home number. Bloody hell I’d wake up your entire family if I had to.

Michelle was asleep, and didn’t pick up.

I got shit scared then. I kept calling you, but you kept hanging up. 4 minutes had gone by.

I dialed 000.

As 000 was dialing, you finally texted me. At least you texted me.

Thank God you texted me. I had no idea what I would say to 000 otherwise. I don’t even know where you live.

I stayed up until 1:40 in case you wanted to again. You didn’t. I don’t know if you went to sleep or if you just sat up the whole night.

I jumped onto the computer first thing when I woke, just to see if you were okay. You emailed me at 3 am ish. You are okay.

DON’T EVER FREAKING DO THAT TO ME AGAIN! OH MY GOD DON’T HANG UP ON ME YOU CRAZY IDIOT! AT LEAST PICK UP SO I KNOW YOU’RE STILL THERE!

I know you read this.

Take CARE of yourself, dammit!

Alex.

April Fool’s Day…Fools…

So, today was the awesome April Fools Day. I wasn’t able to do much damage but in the future I do plan…to…yeah…

I was thinking last night about possible pranks. My scope of prank-ness only stretches so far as emails and texts, because there’s not much I can do physically on such short notice.

I’d wanted to get Carmaine but I couldn’t think of a prank that is awesome enough. But I figured out 2 good ones, one for Cathy and one for Dani.

I won’t share what I did to Cathy seeing as 1) she hasn’t responded yet (never checks her phone) and 2) it’s a bit personal. I did hit below the belt on that one.

The one I did to Dani, despite failing because Dani also doesn’t check her phone on time, was this:

I texted her last night asking if she was going to Period 1 as Madd- is away and we have a free. This was for 2 reasons. 1 was to ascertain around when she might be home and awake, and 2 was to set up my prank.

I texted her at 7:50, when I was still on the train, “Omg I’ve been knocking on your door for 5 minutes! Wtf does no one hear me?” and then I waited 2 minutes, during which she should have sufficient time to do a mad dash to her door, and texted “If you fell for that, Happy April Fools.”

She texted back in about 20 minutes telling me that she’d not checked her phone until much later, at 8. The upside was that she really did for a moment panic. The obvious downside was that she didn’t look stupid. Which, I must admit, was my relished goal.

I also texted April on a whim, saying that I’d “got bored last night and cut my own hair, and now I have a near bald spot.” She didn’t believe me. I suppose she’s extra aware on April the 1st.

Now, to make myself feel better, I must add that I did punk Dani before. I think it was around this time last month, Dani was in the city and I was rather bored at home. I texted her, “Where are you? At this very literal moment.”

She replied cheerfully, “At Price Attack on Swanston.”

“Thought so, turn around!”

Waited for about 30 seconds.

“Did you turn around?”

“SHUT UP!”

Ah, hey look, I do feel miles better.

2 years ago Eunice texted me (well, I suppose with our limited resources the best pranks are over texts) saying, and allow me to try to find the actual text:

“OMG! My mum just told me that we need to be out of our house in two weeks and that we’re going house-hunting today…in friggin Endeavour Hills. I don’t wanna move!!! ARGH!”

Then I, ever so stupid and gullible, replied (and pardon the swearing I am giving an exact recount except with not too many abbreviations):

“HOLD A FUCKING SECOND THAT’S IN DANDY SO YOU WON’T BE TAKING GLENNY! HOW FUCKING UNFAIR YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME FIND A HOUSE IN GLEN WAVERLEY DAMMIT. Omgsh. [insert crying face]” (I didn’t realize I replied completely in capitals.)

I suppose she was the one who started my want to punk others on April Fools. Thanks, Eunice.

I’ve one more official day of school uniform left before I get to be in casual. I can’t wait.

Hope the holidays provide me with writing material. Oh and of course I haven’t forgotten my Summer Project which I suppose I should change the name to “Half-Arsed Project” or something to that effect.

D.F.

Actually, from now on I’ll sign out as Alex.