Go Ahead And Lower It Down

[Hey Brittany! – Forever The Sickest Kids]

Yesterday I caught up with Angie and Si-, the latter of whom I haven’t seen since the end of 2008. Man a year sure goes fast.

I dressed up…well Angie sort of yelled at me on Saturday for not owning a single dress:

A: “How have you LIVED until now?!”

Me: “Happily and comfortably.”

So I went and found something to wear and it was warm yesterday so I had to deal with it. I showed Angie what I was wearing (I felt like getting my mother’s consent but well, if it made her happy) and she said yes to this:

I messed up the time table reading skills, and looked at bus and train times for Monday – Friday, when it is Saturday times for this week. It resulted in me standing at the bus stop for about 40 minutes, but luckily I found some shade, and a new band to listen to.

Took the train up to Melbourne Central, and having given myself plenty of time to travel I was on time despite being later than I anticipated. Watched the tourists film the clock singing (one of those days I will have listened to it too many times). Then surprise surprise Dom showed up at Melbourne Central so I made him stand with me for a while before Si- and Angie arrived.

Said bye to the Badger-boy, and we went with Angie’s friends Ruby and Simon to Madame Brussels.

The chairs on the very right of the picture, that was the ones we sat in.

Ruby and Simon had to leave pretty early, so it left Si-, Angie and myself just having “girl talks” (oh yes, I was in a girl talk. It was new).

There were many interesting quotes that came out of that girl talk, such as:

S: “And he’s pretty tank. He does this fighting thing. What’s it called? UFO? No…”

We shared a jug of Moscow Mule and Singapore Slingshot, and then felt like some Hungry Jack’s. (I BROKE MY NO FAST FOOD THING! I was lasting since Oct 31st…let’s just not count this, right?) Then we went to Cookie, which is the rooftop bar above the Secret Bookshop where I got Katherine her present.

Clearly that wasn’t the time we went but you get the idea that…it’s on a rooftop. They got a Gin and Tonic and I got a Vodka Apple after April introduced me to it.

After Cookie, when we had about 10 minutes left until 10 pm, so we rushed to the Harajuku Crepe store and I got a Tiramisu deluxe. We went to the trains, and I saw that my train was in 1 minute, so I hauled ass only to miss the train by 5 secs. If I had 5 more seconds I’d be on that train. Instead I waited with Si- for about 15 minutes until her train arrived, and then went down to take my train.

On the way home there was this weird Asian lady in front of me doing a bad pretense of taking a picture of herself. Call me self-important but I’m pretty sure she was taking a picture of me. And then her phone rang and it was the strings theme from Psycho. I was texting Jenny about how I was on a train (I don’t get why people think that the Glen Waverley line is scary at night. As long as everyone’s sober Glen Waverley is safe as) and she got worried about the lady and the lateness, so she told me to be careful. I laughed and told her I’m fine, and at that exact moment, around Mount Waverley, the train shuddered really badly and there was a loud crunching sound. I thought to myself, “Oh fuck you karma don’t try to prove me wrong now…”

I couldn’t fall asleep for ages, and then just as I was drifting off at around 2 am my phone sounded, and it was Mani telling me I forgot to sign out of MSN on my phone.

Gained consciousness at around 8 when Bianca emailed me which made my phone go off, and I was going to reply on the spot, but I rolled over and the next thing I knew it was 11:30.

Alex.

P.S. Murder, She Wrote, is really funny.

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Psychic Moment For The Day #3

Oh I nearly forgot. Today as we were about to take the train to the exams Connex said that all trains are delayed by half an hour, with no shuttle bus.

Panicking a little, Eliza and Fel said they’d give me a ride. I ended up going with Fel. I was desperately calling Carmaine trying to make sure she knows that trains aren’t running. But she wasn’t picking up.

Just as I was about to give up I turned around and saw Carmaine walking behind me. I called out and all was good.

Not exactly psychic but just lucky. Anyway.

Alex

Suit up and grab me some boobage

On Wednesday it was dress signing day. And after that was the valedictory.

I couldn’t find my school dress so I nicked a huge bunch of papers from the library printer and got everyone to sign on them, the papers, instead. Thus I didn’t have any Sharpie marks on my skin during Valedictory (here’s looking at you, Julia), and people wrote nicer messages. I still haven’t had the time to sit down and read them yet. (AND CARMAINE! You never got to write a message.)

I signed Spanna’s right boob as a joke from the previous day. In the previous day I took a picture of Spanna’s generous cleavage and told her I’d tag one boob as me and one boob as Julia. Which is why I signed the boob that is me on Wednesday.

When I got to school, I noticed that Dani’s left boob got taken by Andrew already (‘cos that’s where her heart is. Wtflux? Don’t ask.) so I got her right boob with “this is mine mine mine mine mine – Alex”.

That started my mission to get as many right boobs as I can with “this is mine mine mine mine (the number of ‘mine’ depended on the size of said breast) – Alex” as possible. I actually managed about maybe over 100? Hehe.

When the boob was taken, I took the crotch.

When both was taken, as in the case of Anto-, I took the bum. That one was actually surprisingly embarrassing.

During recess, someone boarded up all the windows in the common room and we had a rave party. Loud music, people jumping. It was fantastic.

After Legal (during which we did no work but sat around and were happy and took pictures and hugged Nik-) and our last class ever, Dani, Zara and I went to Dani’s place to get ready for Valedictory. I played with the new kittens (these are much smaller than the ones from last year) and they gave me confused looks. (By the way, I tried uploading photos but it wasn’t working.)

Got all my clothes ready, and Andrew came home, changed, and we were off to the Crown Palladium.

When we had finger food (well, it was MacRob, people were fighting for food) we camwhored and everyone remarked how tall the heels were and so forth. Met Spanna’s mom, and a man who I thought was her dad but turned out to be Chez’s dad. That was bloody embarrassing and not my fault.

Sat down for speeches. Trying to fast forward this because I haven’t had breakfast yet…

Had some great speeches from everyone, and it was quite funny when one half of the room’s lights began to turn on and off. Frank and Caro- performed their song and it was quite heartbreaking and caused quite a few tears when Frank started crying halfway through.

Then came the time for everyone to go up and get their stuff. When I went up I called out Clarkey’s name and gave him a high five. It was awesome (despite my mom telling me that I’m an idiot for it later on. I’m not going into that, by the way…)

After Valedictory BRuCE, Fel and our respective parents and the odd sibling or two went to dinner at The Pub at Crown (I finally went to the place SonJ had so much trouble explaining before, she said “the place with tables and chairs and music and people”). I ordered a steak and chips, and it was tough but very delicious.

Went home. That was a disaster. For the 2nd time in a row we had to catch a replacement bus because they were obviously doing something to the tracks at night. Mom felt too sick to stay on the bus and demanded to get out at MT WAVERLEY where we stood around at 11:40 at night in the cold. Couldn’t get a taxi, so had to call a family friend to come up. Parents argued for so long as to who to call that by the time the family friend came up to Mount Waverley from Wheelers Hill, the next replacement bus had come and gone and it was past midnight.

Got driven back to the Glen where our car was parked, and mom proceeded not to drive and just sit there for the next 2o minutes. Finally got home, and had to do all the other things like shower and clear memory space on my camera, so that when I went to sleep it was 1 am, and I was waiting for a 5 am wake up to get to school for early breakfast.

Now you understand why I was tired.

Otherwise, though, the night was incredibly fun, as was the day.

The next installment, which is our “muck up” day, will be written about tonight.

Alex.

That Rotound Asswipe

I don’t know if I spelt that word right, but I’m pretty sure it’s a word.

Alright, so what had happened?

This morning, as I was getting off the train at Flinders Station, the train braked in the way that trains do and I sort of stumbled sideways, and into this fat bitch – oh no, apologies, this “horizontally endowned female with a differently-abled set of social-interaction abilities” (for the sake of fast typing and reading, I will still call her “the fat bitch”).

Being polite, I quickly said, “Sorry!” and stepped off the train. Behind me I heard her say, “What was that?!” But I didn’t take notice. I mean, I hadn’t really fallen on her THAT hard – honestly, I’d bounced off a bit myself.

I went around behind the billboards and was about to board the escalator, when suddenly The Fat Bitch was by my side. She deliberately shoved into me, and looked down (she was fat and tall) and with enough sarcasm to choke a large horse, said, “Oh. SORRY.” To get to me, the Asswipe would have had to squeeze through the hoard of people that’d appeared between her and myself, and more or less HUNTED ME DOWN and then shove me. I mean, what in the name of FUCK was that about?! Get over it!

Later on, I got so pissed thinking about it, I thought that I should’ve feigned being pushed over really hard, and stuck my foot out to trip her. Gravity will probably do the rest of the work for me.

Well, I take comfort in knowing that Karma will work her mojo and maybe that Fat Bitch would’ve gotten what she deserved.

And, before Bianca starts telling me off for not being rude or mean to heavy people, and try to convince me to see things her way: I don’t give a shit. I did NOT push into her that hard, I apologized politely, and she was downright honestly fat and a bitch. You can only compromize so much before you’re letting yourself be taken advantage of.

That’s it for today. Other stuff happened too but that was the main gripe.

Alex.

Squish & Ko cont’d

Sorry about the sudden cut off last night. I was getting rather tired, and beside my parents were telling me to go to sleep.

So, I do believe that I left off at the point where I left the school at the end of Period 5.

Emily needed to get home on time for a certain formal she had to attend, and since she forgot her umbrella she went with me – I’d brought another jacket and an umbrella, feeling ever so smart. It was unfortunate for her that, at the stop lights near Domain Interchange, the ground seemed to love collecting large pools of water, and through which Emily waded in her flats. She was soaked to her ankles and complaining every 3 seconds, which I would’ve found amusing but I was rather worried about my schoolbag getting wet.

We got to Flinders, and realized our train hasn’t left yet. Thundered down the escalator, and I had my finger 3 cms from the button when the light around it blinked off, and the train left the platform. Being the Connex veterans that we are, Emily and I with perhaps 3 utterances of complaints powered back up the escalator to take the Cragieburn reverse loop. Made the Glen Waverley with plenty of time to spare, except there was an old lady in a wheelchair who tried to run Emily over and swore at her when she didn’t manage.

Emily’s dad gave me a ride home, which saved me perhaps half an hour of trudging home in the wet. Dad had taken the day off and he was home – which I had no idea, so it was a surprise to see someone home – and I put my bag down, so glad that school can be out of my mind for at least 2 days.

I had a dinner plan with BRuCE at 6:30, so I went online, tried to beat my previous Tetris time, and at around 5:50 went to dress and do my hair. Yes, I did my hair. Bee said it looked good so I suppose it’s all worth it. I arrived at Coco Lounge early, and took our booth – we’d wanted that booth because we’d originally had 8 people invited. In the end 3 showed up. Eunice joined me, and we had a look at the menu, then Bianca joined us. Both of them looked smashing.

Carmaine, as I had mentioned yesterday, was sick, so she’d said she’d drop in later. At around 7:50 Carmaine came in – just as I was about to say something about her – and we had dessert; Tiramisu.

I think the point of interest was that Eunice and I had ordered Bitters, and at some point, the conversation came to this (paraphrasing may have occured):

Eunice: [imitating Kath and Kim] “It’s noice…it’s un-yooh-shle…Oy loike – IS THERE ALCOHOL IN THIS THING?”

We subsequently had a long laugh at what would happen if Euniceย  was to finish the entire Bitters, and what would happen for her 18th. We had a small chat about Staff Politics and Relos, and Bianca had several mini orgasms over her prawns. And over the male waiter. Which promptly led me to mention Matt, and also for me to voice that Bianca had, by technicality, lost the bet from last July, and she owes us all a drink.

So, at 7:50 Carmaine joined us for dessert, and we had a few cheap laughs and whatnot. It felt, on the surface, that BRuCE was back to its original power again. But don’t we know otherwise, Carmaine? But, hey, it’s 11:50 in the morning and I’d had a long breakfast (mustard and salami cold, don’t do it), I don’t want to delve into that.

After taking ages to pay, we went to Strike near Village to play pool. But, and this was much to Carmaine’s distain, we needed IDs to play pool, because it is in the bar section. So we didn’t play pool, and promptly went home.

Now, Squish & Ko.

On Thursday, I’m sure I’ve mentioned about the mini cartoons that I’d done that went along the lines of “My Friends Don’t Give A Shit About Me”. My memory fails me, so I’ll repeat it in case I am wrong.

On Thursday, I had an idea to do small comics (similar to Non Sequitur) that went along the lines of…what I’d say before. They’re just small ditties that have happened to me, or that I’ve noticed. On Thursday night I put down 2, and yesterday while waiting for dinner I put down 2. Scanned them up this morning. Have a look:

squish-and-koI am aware that it’s not straight, and I am very aware that it’s rather small so you’d have to click on it, and it’s simply screaming at me obvious that it’s a bit of a rip-off of Pon and Zi, of which I am a big fan.

It will get better, and hopefully less emo.

Well, I’ve uploaded NCIS and am just waiting to watch it. Have a good holidays, and Happy Easter (I mean, I’m still coming back, I’m just saying this now).

Alex.

Wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend

No, my entry isn’t about someone jumping. I’ve just had that song stuck in my head all day.

So, I know it’s late but I’m posting because I can’t sleep. Today was 42 degrees (celcius. That’s way over 100 in farenheit). Right now I don’t think we’re under 30. We have aircon but it’s not the same. Anyway. The point is I went out today.

For those who know me, you know I hate and do not do well in heat. I was okay for the first half hour maybe but after a while I started feeling crummy and dizzy.

Okay so let me explain in detail. Which I do anyway.

At around 5:20 mom came home and dropped me off at the train station. Was hot. Bee came, and Carmaine was late by about 2 minutes, as in, a train left 2 minutes before she arrived. Was hot. Randomy guyย  missing a leg sat down next to us and started talking to us. We all gave fake names but I’d like to think I did it smoother than the other two (haha but I like the names you picked). Bee told the guy to go away in a nice way. Guy went away. Poor guy. Random asked Bee if she was okay. I laughed a little. Well hell, I did try to get his attention but Bee and Carmaine were dressed rather…sexily? So he didn’t pay attention to lil ol’ me.

Waited until 6:20 for the next train. Was hot. Waited in Grand Tofu, and then as we came out saw Ann from Jan&Ann. Talked to her for a bit. Funny chick. Started school today.

Got on train, thank GOD for aircon. Got to city a bit late and took the tram down to what we thought was Lonsdale. Passed D.P. and a mass of Asians (well…THE mass of Asians) and realized that what we thought was Lonsdale was actually La Trobe. Walked back down to Lonsdale and then up Lonsdale to Stalactite. Was hot. Went upstairs, arriving “fashionably late”. Sat, ordered food and drink. There were a bunch of people there that…well I didn’t know and I still don’t know. And Andrew got a haircut and we made fun of it from across the table. Sorry Andrew.

During dinner a moth came in and Sab- is scared of all things that fly. She cried actually, because she was so scared of it. Ate dinner, and left the restaurant. Oh, halfway through eating CJ showed up! Was rather awesome to meet her finally.

Walked around back onto Swanston, and Carmaine took a tie off Dom. It was white, so against her dark tanned skin and her black dress it was fluro. That was funny in pictures. Took a tram down Swanston to Fed Square, and on the tram we remarked that Dani was actually less emo than Carmaine (Dani wearing a floral dress and Carmaine in black). Carmaine then said, “No it doesn’t work, because I haven’t got red on.” I said, “Yeah you do. Your sunburn.” Andrew laughed. Go Andrew. Carmaine wasn’t too thrilled haha but it was worth it. I thought it was a good joke.

Passed a huge line of emos. Dani said that Bullet For My Valentine was playing so we were all saying, “ohhh” knowingly. Got to Fed Square and lost a bunch of people (not that mattered because they were all people I didn’t know). Got Slurpees and as Carmaine and I were getting our’s, I said, “Say when”. She never said “when” so I kept going until it spilled over. See, Carmaine, you have to say when.

Basically hung out outside of the SevenEleven. Took pictures. Then Carmaine dropped her camera and it fucked up. We were all really sad and shocked. That camera has really seen us through some tough times. I love that camera, man. Year 9, Year 10, Ski Camp, Last Day 2007, Year 11, Formal (not that I was there. And EmPow tried to start something about me going to the formal this year tonight), Last Day 2008, and all the memories in between. That camera is awesome. Anyway, Carmained fixed it later. Then D.P. left so everyone started leaving. Bee, EmPow, Carmaine, Dom and I went to Maccas for the soft serve, only to have the idiots tell us that ice cream machine was broken (assholes). Saw CJ again, randomly coming in. Tried to get worker’s discount off’a her but to no avail. Went to Hungry Jack’s next door. I hate Hungry Jack’s soft serves. Taste like baby powder milk. Bye to Dom, and we were on the train home. Exhausted. EmPow tried to read “In The Lake Of The Woods” but to no avail. Bianca tried to help me search for my soul (and I love you Carmaine for saying my best quality is “loyalty”) and Carmaine wouldn’t femez her legs. Ha.

It was hot. Today was hot, undeniably. I felt dizzy on several occasions and am nursing a headache. Big love to Carmaine and Bee for looking after me and asking if I was okay and alive frequently. And, apart from the fact that in heels you scare the crap out of me, I thank you for the hugs, Carmaine.

And now I shall just switch my brain off. I don’t do well in heat, at all. Winters for me.

Keep Cool (oh the fucking irony)

D.F.

P.S. I totally forgot to mention that this was all for D.P.’s 17th birthday which was 4 days ago. Haha sorry my bad. Happy birthday dear. We tried to sing it but only I managed to do it all.