Today I went to Jack’s tutoring in Springvale, for Methods. His thing is ran from his garage (it’s air conditioned with blinds and floor tiles and tables and shiz).
He’s a funny guy, Jack. He started off his class by telling us not to look at our girlfriends/boyfriends, or talk to them. We can sit in their laps but we can’t talk to them. As long as we do our work. He explains that he doesn’t talk very fast, unlike what people think gay people do. He pointed at his tie, which was pink. “Pink’s gay, right?” And when we got to a question g, he said “I like g. G is for gay.” Unfortunately five minutes later he had to explain that he wasn’t gay, he just liked making jokes about gay people. Most of the class went “ohh” because we thought he was serious.
He started telling us about how on St Kilda beach, if you drive into the smaller streets, there’re prostitutes everywhere. He taught us to keep driving straight and not honk them because then they’d just hook onto you. Same deal with Kings Cross in Sydney. He said for you to just keep walking straight ahead. He had to, since he was there with his parents.
At some point, he was trying to help us identify if a point is a cut, a turning point or a point of inflection. He said “I’m going to use my finger now. Can you see my finger? Everyone, follow my finger. I use all the different parts of my body when I teach maths. When I point, it’s finger-technique. When I write, it’s hand-technique. When I speak, it’s oral-technique.” Then he raised two fingers, like you would when you mimick a gun except no thumb (to put crudely, like you would when you’re fingering a certain somewhere) and said, “These are very important tools.”
He told us about how he used to have an ex-girlfriend but she broke up with him. So he has a photo of her and that’s all he needs to be happy. The other day him and his mates went to have a beer and their mates were with their wives and he was with his photo. His mates called him weird. His wife also calls him weird. I was just about to say out loud “Because you worship a photo of your ex-girlfriend?”
He told us to work hard in Year 12. He asked us, “Why should you work hard in Year 12?” and then promptly answered himself, “So you don’t end up living in Springvale.” “If you work hard in Year 12, you can have all the babes you want in university.” Wise words from a wise – and odd – man.
Keep Cool (and out of Springvale – not a stab at people living there but hey, what are we all working towards?)
D.F.
the life and laughs of me 