I Promise You, Kid

[Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Buble]

So I noticed that I hadn’t blogged in about a week, and I realized I would therefore fail my 15 a month target if I didn’t write something soon.

I’ve sort of just been sitting at home doing nothing, which is probably what I’m writing about today. I like to analyze my own actions after a while.

A few of my friends feel that they’re wasting their lives in front of the computer screen – social networking just doesn’t hold the thrill anymore. They want to go out and get a job and start working towards the dream life they have.

I also want to work towards that dream life but I’m still sort of in the mindset of a kid – I have plenty of time to do it later, when I’m older. Except I am older.

And I think I have been hiding/held back by the fact that my parents aren’t giving me much freedom, and I couldn’t get a job. But I don’t know what the ratio of each is. I mean I do have friends that tell me to “just do it”, as in just move out and be independent. However it’s kind of hard to do it when I don’t have any means to support myself. Right now, my bank account is somewhere at 15 dollars.

I think that’s why I’m really looking forward to going to New York for exchange (have I mentioned this?). If I get the exchange, I will be going to my dream city for half a year learning about stuff I love, all the while being independent – at the same time financially I should still be supported somewhat (even though I still really need to get a job). So it’s sort of an incentive and a trial (dream city and independence) without the shameful failure.

However, I don’t think I’ll be able to disengage myself from the internet. I don’t think it’s a matter of my wasting my time on it, or being addicted to it (though in both cases it’s true), but rather the internet is such a huge part of what I find interesting about the media, that disengaging myself from it would be cheating myself of happiness.

There, I justified my addiction. Bring on the interventions!

Anyway, I’ve sort of been a recluse for the last few days, and after not getting another job (even though I do have a work experience somewhere! It doesn’t earn me money – if anything it takes up money – so I don’t know how I will do), my ego has taken a hit. But I have organized to go out a little bit in the next few days to bring my mood back up again.

Alex.