I feel bad to gloat but I seriously KNEW something like this was gonna happen and now I want to KILL HIM for making it come true! What a dickhead.

I had a pretty good day today. I met a cool chick called Carmen in my Chinese class (newcomer) and she was quite nice and easy to get along with. I felt bad though, because I didn’t talk to Ev- nor Mi- much and I think they felt neglected (as much as Ev- tried to assure me otherwise.) but next week I will make it up to them.

No idea how but maybe my presence alone is enough. Oh how narcissistic of me.

How fitting, don’t you think? Down to the scale, too!

Not much to write about today. Just the gloat, the negligence (sounds like my Legal project, WHICH I STILL HAVEN’T STARTED!) and the book.

Oh, and I said this, but…

Eunice, Carmaine, Bee, it will almost tangibly hurts me to think about how amazing, stunning (lol not slutty) and BEAUTIFUL you three will look for the formal, and to realize I can’t see you in person. (Yes I know what a stupid thing to say, why don’t I just come?? No…) So you must promise to take a LOT of photographs. I will miss you that night. It will feel like I’ve left a good half of me somewhere else.

But, but but, Sonam, Vania, don’t get too mad, I will have fun with you guys too! Wow how awkward…

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. Can you guess yet?

It occured to me…

Perhaps James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” was based on Romeo and Juliet. If uh, it has been proven somewhere already that this is the case then please ignore my ignorance but look at this:

“You’re Beautiful”

My life is brilliant.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Flying high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Now, for those who are woefully not so familiar with the concepts of Romeo and Juliet…here is an overview.

But for those who can’t be bothered, basically Romeo sees Juliet at a party and falls in love with her immediately. But they can’t be together because they are from rival families, but despite all of that they still fall deeper in love. After a few unfortunate incidents, fakes deaths and banishments, Romeo kills himself after believing that Juliet was dead (she wasn’t). After Romeo dies, Juliet wakes up from her fake death, and sees her beloved Romeo dead. She then kills herself as well. So everyone dies.

Now, relate that to Blunt’s lyrics.


De Fluffe, Out.

Bouncin’ off the walls

THEY DID IT! THEY DID IT! THEY MADE UP! THEY ARE TOGETHER AGAIN! THEY’RE OKAY! It’s gonna take a bit more time but they’re together and they hugged and they talked and they smiled at each other and I don’t care if this sounds gay but the LOVE IS BACK!

Yes yes yes, Dani and D.P. made up! Remember how I said a while back that there was something up? Well fuck that! They’re talking again! Dani took the advice from her horoscope (thank you horoscope) and they talked and at lunchtime D.P. was walking next to me and in front of my eyes they hugged and I was so happy I was literally jumping and whooping and hindsight, it was odd that I was happier than them but I don’t give a fuck they’re together again and that’s all that I care about right now!!!

The moment when I see them hug again, I nearly cried. But the tear ducts were put on hold because my brain had to send messages to my feet to JUMP JUMP JUMP! But honestly, I had a jolt in my heart and I was close to crying for joy. What a wonderful moment. It was sunny, and the sun shone as they hugged as a silhouette, two beings joining as one (again, that sounded infinitely gay but fuck that) and I was just so happy.

Last period today Carmaine had a French SAC so Eunice and I sat at a picnic table while i strummed a few chords and we sang. Eunice was quite pretty lying on the bench basking in the sun. Bee and Sha- sat aside, having a conversation, and then at the end they joined us and we sang “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias (however) and it was a very very nice moment.

Carmaine too, was extremely amazing today. We bought ice-cream but mine melted a bit so I ran out of tissues to wipe with, and Carmaine, in a motherly fashion, handed me a spare. The only thing she could’ve done was wipe my face herself but I think that takes it a bit too far.

Is it pathetic that I’m sitting here now, barely an hour after saying goodbye to my beloveds, and already I miss them so much it hurts (overused cliche but try to imagine that in an almost-literal sense) and I can’t believe I have to spend hours not seeing them again.

Tomorrow I am going to a family friend’s so that means I can probably sleep in a tiny bit, and then have to do my Chinese, and then A LOT OF LEGAL! I think my Legal is due the coming week OR the week after that which honestly is not a lot of time at all. I have to seriously dedicate some hardcore time to it.

Okay that’s all for now. Julia on her blog (she’s on my blogroll) signs out with a nice quote every time. I don’t have nice quotes. I found some fun Ellen DeGeneres ones. Here’s one of my favorites:

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.” Ellen DeGeneres

Some people don’t get her humor, but I like it. It’s kind of ironic, satirical and sarcastic at the same time. Very much “take a good long look at yourself and see how stupid you are” esque.

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. I love you two! I’M SO HAPPY YOU MADE UP! When I hugged both of you at the end of the day, it felt like a happy family. I was so tempted (or maybe i said it anyway) to say, “the child is happy that mommy and daddy made up.” (needless to say, D.P. is the dad. Jokes! But not really.)

P.P.S. Love you so much I could kiss you right now.

” I don’t blame you for being you
But you can’t blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early ’cause I know I’m always late”

Fall Out Boy – A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”

(The lyrics were quite funny at the time when I heard them)

2 irrelevant things…

I was in the shower (no no no no no just keep reading) and since my throat was hurting a bit I decided to think instead of sing. And hell, I seriously belt in the shower! I was halfway through my rendition of Ben Lee when we was on the ski trip last year, but Carmaine and Bee made me shut up. Okay, the point is, I was in the showering thinking about what I should write in my blog, since Vania said she won’t comment until I write another one tonight. And the following occurred to me:

I wasn’t this passionate about blogging (measured by the fact that usually, when I’m not singing in the shower, I’m thinking about TV or food or…”stuff”) a while ago, how come so into it now? Well, it was mainly because Dani started to blog frequently and I thought, I should too. After finding Vania’s and then having Carmaine start her blog, the “pressure” to keep posting just kept on mounting. I am a posting maniac now!

But that just all led me to the belief that I am a sheep, not a shepherd. I do things because other people do things. Okay, to clear the air, that doesn’t mean if everyone starts taking drugs and having unprotected sex, I would too, because they’re both the most idiotic thing you can do. But it does make me realize how much of a drone I am.

Would that define me in the future? Would I be another faceless office worker? No I shudder to think that. Even though I was confused as to what I really want to do for a career, I was pretty damn sure I wanted to work for myself. Whether that means freelance work or not – tough profession but summun’s gotta do it – I don’t know. But I love the thought of my own den, and just working away in an environment I am comfortable in. That’s why I can imagine – or would rather imagine – myself living with Dani or Carmaine or any other friend, because they wouldn’t be oppressive like my parents.

I’d hate to be a leader though. People have told me that I have leadership qualities. Probably do if I put my mind to it but honestly I am too lazy a person (and frankly, too indifferent to other people) to be a good leader. So no. In a tough spot, I may be able to be relied on to think up ways to salvation/safety/freedom/whatever, but otherwise, no.

Hmm, I was going to include some funny links, which was why the title was 2 irrelevant things but I just thought of another point I want to put out there.

I wrote that in a tough spot I can be relied on, but I meant in things like a large group, say like in Lost how people got…ahem…lost. I can probably keep a level head in those situations. But I am going to be talking about something else.

I want to think that I matter to someone. Not like “you matter, you’re my friend” kind of thing. But that I really matter. That someone just can’t live without me, and there is no substitute for me. Even if the feeling is temporary, I want it. I guess maybe that’s why I want a partner so much. Because they would totally rely on me to be there, just like And- and Dani. I was reading his comments to her on her blog, and I want someone to rely on me and need me the same way Dani needs him.

But okay “melo” moment over.

Here are the fun stuff.

On Tuesday I went to VET but did abso-freakin’-lutely nothing. That’s why I blogged, you know. So I went on Funny Junk and I found the following pictures:

http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/7185/Bear+Warning/ (long read but worth it)

But, also I want to show you this really cool human snake thing, and it was done with stop motion animation, and for the Yr 12 video I seriously want to do something like that:

And finally, Vanilla Sky’s cover of Umbrella by Rhianna, which is just fantastic, and the video is not bad either (some draggy parts but otherwise a good laugh):

That’s all.

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. I still love You more than ever.

So I says to him I says…

I am sitting in my Eng Lang class, and And- did’t show up, so we’re just sitting here with a sub who won’t let us leave. Yet.

Carmaine and Eunice are in the next classroom, in English. It’s such a lazy and bright day.

I hate that summer is creeping up. I hate the warm weather. Mostly I hate sweating. And I do a LOT of that.

Yesterday on the train we started discussing New Year’s. Carmaine will be on a cruise from 18th of Dec to just before New Year’s, so she’ll be away for Christmas (unfortunately) but she’ll be back for 2009. I really don’t want to have to spend another NYE with my parents pushing me to go to bed, and then finally sitting there in the most unenthusiastic countdown you can imagine, and then going to bed after a few minutes of the fireworks.

I want to be in the city, or at a party, or somewhere where everyone else is excited! And then we count down from 10, and it feels like we’ve achieved something when New Year’s comes.

While it goes without saying that my parents most likely wouldn’t let me sleep over at anyone’s place NYE (original rule PLUS the whole “spend time with your family” crap they spine every year) I stll think it would be pretty dandy to count down to the new year with BRuCE. While Bee and I were pretty interested in booking a hotel room for that one night, and then going to the city for the big countdown, Carmaine was a bit more iffy, saying that the city is full of drunks and idiots on that night. Fair enough, but it’s the spirit. But anyway, it would be really expensive so for now we’re just dreamin’.

Speaking of the family crap I was talking about…

Sometimes I wish I can just shut myself up, or go back a few seconds and literally CLAMP MY MOUTH SHUT because sometimes I say the most insensitive things. I was just saying how I can’t stand another NY with my parents, Bee said quietly, “well I don’t think I will do anything with you guys on NYE because I want to spend it with my dad.” And that moment I wish I can just cut my own tongue out because I was just idiotic. Or when I complain about my mom to April, I think aboutit afterwards and honestly I am an ASSHOLE.

Happier topic…

Today I had a double free and I forgot to bring my DS so while in the first period I did Japanese homework (read: copied it off April) I didn’t have ANYTHING to do 2nd period. It was quite sad. Without my DS, who am I?

April was quite gleeful at my downfall.

Carmaine gave me a really really really tight hug today; I think I have bruising on my ribs. But but, of course as always it was well worth it.

Carmaine and I asked Bee what the Cold War was. For ages Bee thought we were joking, but, honestly, neither of us knew what the Cold War is. Apparently, it was Russia v USA in nuclear or something war, and it was “cold” because neither party were near each other.

I might write a bit more later when I get home. School blocks funnyjunk.com so I will post up some funny pictures when I can get to them. Besides, there’s a whole train ride during which something can happen that’ll make me wanna write about.

As a final note: Today I didn’t see Dani at all. Thursdays she has a double free at the end of the day so usually she goes home, and in the morning I didn’t see her. It doesn’t mean she’s not here but the possibilty of that is quite likely as well.

On the formal night (for everyone else. Haha rumor has it that we are the formal-boycott group) Sonam, April, Ti-, Vania and apparently 2 others are NOT going, and we’re seeing Persepolis or Tropical Thunder, and then eating at Achelya’s. I might find their restaurant site, but the point is April works at Achelya’s (unfortunately, that very night, so only other of us are eating) and we want to meet Kitchen Boy (read her blog).

De Fluffe, Out.

P.S. I love You, from “Ley” apparently. I wrote “Lex” in a note for Carmaine but didn’t cross the “x” properly and it read Ley.


Well I knew at some point that I wouldn’t have much to write about. And today was that day.

It was a short day at school and we started classes at 9:30. I finished at 1:30. So, there wasn’t much opening for anything to happen.

I found out today that I am seriously screwed for the upcoming Japanese SAC, and that if I don’t start on my Legal soon I will be fucked for that too. On Saturday I am going out, so I won’t get time. And Sunday neither. So I have decided that before then I will get a huge crack into the work.

Mr G gave me season 2 of Smallville today so I am watching that now. So much for the crack.

I just watched this scene will Chloe tested Clark to see if he really cared about her and well he failed epically, and he “pulled the friends card”. I don’t know…relationships do complicate a lot of things. I mean, after a big misunderstanding, how could you return to being friends? Can you stay friends with an ex?

My guesses and experience says no but Chloe and Clark remained good friends. That took an enormous amount of work on Chloe’s behalf I bet.

Am I good enough a friend to be willing to put all that effort into keeping a friend? I think so. I think I will be if the need arises.

So that’s all for today. I have decided that I will be that ultimate Chloe friend, who would do ANYTHING to keep that one precious friend.

Well, not that I decided it out of the blue, but writing it makes it all that much official.

Speaking of official…

Dani referred to me as Alex in a previous comment, so I will explain it, and thus making it official.

After graduation I have decided to get people to call me “Alex”. Like, a fresh start, ya see. Some have said that it’s a stupid thing to do, that Ruy is who I am. But I am not changing the person I am, only what people call me. In time, Alex will embody what people now know as Ruyi. Is that so bad?

I am really appreciative of the people who have decided to call me Alex. Because they love me for however I am called and appear, for what I am inside.

With that note,

De Fluffe, Out.

/edit: it just occurred to me that I’ve mentioned the name change before. Sorry.


That was just a way to title the damn thing.

I took off Theresa and Sonam because Sonam says she probably won’t write in her blog, and Theresa didn’t ever.

I actually had that conversation today with Va- about what I wrote last night, about how I will talk about not needing a real conversation etc, and we laughed when we realized I had anticipated most of the conversation.

I had a really fun conversation with An- today in VisCom in Chinese, and it was quite a personal and secret thing and it occurred us that Vi- speaks Chinese so I had to ask her if she knew what we were talking about. I’m on purposely not saying what we talked about because it will remain secret. It was quite funny though. Awkward at moments.

Car- made a blog. It is at “Arrow In Your Throat” under my blogroll. I guess it means I can refer to her by her full name.

Okay, I am going to make a dedication to someone:

Thank you for being there today. Even though I pushed you away, you kept being there, and being very subtle about it too! Thank you for your awesome hugs and your genuine love. I didn’t talk to you but I know if and when I do wish you you will be there.

I hope that your problem works out even though I don’t think it will be too big of a problem.

I love you very much. Always WILL! You are the anchor… I am the wings…etc etc hehe

Alright I won’t write too much today. We have ANOTHER SAC starting soon, and this one is more tedious than hard.

I didn’t have the best day today, but it got alright. I owe it to you.

Oh, and Dani and Eunice got new shoes. They’re both heels, far as I can tell. Dani wore hers the moment she got them, and she was going to Mel’s place so she was in casual. And there was a small slope on the front doorstep of DFO and I said to her “I don’t talk to plodders” since she was plodding in her heels, and she had to hurry to catch up with me down the slope. WHAT A SIGHT! It was utterly hilarious.

And Eunice looks good in hers too. The heels gave her legs a very..erm..sensuous curve. Over the line? But seriously. Very very awesome. If you get a blog, post the pictures (as well as your dress) and if you don’t, may I post them?

Tar- wants me to mention him. He is sitting next to me at VET. He helps me a lot. Hi Tar-. Sorry censored your name though.

De Fluffe, Out.

What a brilliant day

For those that know me, they’d know I love crisp mornings where it’s not wet (or a little damp I don’t mind) and when you breathe you can see the little clouds. Okay, so today wasn’t crisp per se, more like bone-cracking cold, but I enjoyed it because we’re at the end of August and Spring will be here soon. And Eu- would agree that sucks.

The day was brilliant because the morning was my type of morning, and everything seemed to have sailed smoothly. The train ride wasn’t too bad, Car- seemed awake and not grumpy which is a blessing, and Eu- actually let me annoy her, which is again a phenomenon. No, her being there is a phenomenon. Mondays I don’t usually get to see Eu-. Actually I said to her this afternoon on the way home (YES! SHE WAS THERE TOO!) “Beggars aren’t choosers. And I’m a beggar here. I have to beg to have just a bit of you…” and there I heard what I was saying.

April, however, was ghastly sick. When she didn’t show up, I called her at recess, and I got this female Darth Vader on the other end. All jokes aside, I was worried. April gets sick yes, but hardly ever sick enough to take a day off (unlike Dani, yah? Jokes hon) so it was very worrying. Good thing she did take today off though, some of those winds dug right in.

I hung out with Dani most of the day, though. She gave me a very warm hug when she saw me (go you) and then we just talked a lot, and she tried to kill my thumb again – a pressure point on the base of the thumb nail, and Dani would try to make you hurt by pressing it. We had a year level assembly about Yr 12, because today subject selections went in, and we reckoned it up and realized we had 6 weeks of school left before we are in our FINAL FUCKING YEAR OF SCHOOL! Okay, so for Yr 12’s this year it’s a bit more daunting but COME ON! Those who have graduated probably won’t appreciate this, and those yet to graduate probably won’t either, but the sudden departure of a structured day just seems…scary.

At lunchtime I sat with Car-, Bee, Dani and Ina (would it matter if I said “Ina”? CRUZIK!) and Bekchie came along, and we just all mucked around telling lame jokes. The only joke I remember – sadly – is Bekchie’s penis action joke. Blergh. Maybe I am intrinsically dirty-minded.

Haha that reminds me of when on Sunday in Chinese school we were discussing the 4 bases of a relationship (instead of Detailed Studies) and one friend didn’t know what second base was so Pam- made a swirly motion with two fingers raised, and still that friend didn’t understand, so Ev- made a upward jabbing motion with her fingers. Yeah, we got it now.

We had an open-book SAC in Legal but that was actually intense, despite how easy it actually was. There were many case files and we had to sort out each one. That kind of work is tedious, but not difficult.

I read back on what I wrote so far, and it all seems like I was recounting a trivial day. I aim to write something meaningful about each day, so maybe this will be that paragraph.

After getting off my chest that “emo” blog I wrote about letting go of a certain something/one, I felt a lot better today, but Bel- took it the wrong way. She thought I was ignoring her and the rest of the group, but that wasn’t it. I’ll say it now on a public forum: I wasn’t ignoring you! It just so happened that I didn’t spend much of today with you guys but I definitely am NOT ignoring you!

Oh, and that reminds me about Sonam!

Sonam got a “cute” haircut! She now has the stereotypical ASIAN FRINGE! She hates it when people comment that it’s “cute”. Which came in handy because she did something stupid today, and I counterattacked with, “well you know what? YOUR FRINGE IS CUTE!”

Touche! (I can’t be bothered finding the accent)

Sonam said that she didn’t want to continue her blog (on my blogroll) because she doesn’t want to write superficial stuff on her blog like what I did at the start of this entry. She says she can’t even be completely honest in her own personal diary let alone a public blog. And, I think she has a fair point. Having secrets down on paper (so to speak) kind of makes it official and real, almost tangible, and there are thoughts we have and things we want that should remain forever in the depths of our consciousness. Depending on how little regard you have for your own pride, some people would probably never ever write down what they really feel, or even say it out loud. The only times they say those things out loud would be to their soulmate (bah what a term, but there you go) or their best best friend.

I envy that sometimes, because it makes you more mysterious and have more to give and share. I mean look at me now, just blabbing cats and dogs, leaving absolutely nothing to talk about in real life conversation (case in point Dani today: Me “Bel- wants to start a band…” Dani “I know, I read it on your blog.” “Oh” “What’s the point of having real life conversations when you have blogs?”) so tomorrow when I complain about this to BRuCE they’ll say, “we KNOW!” (Except for Bee who DOESN’T READ THIS!)

Julia has password protected entries. I have no idea how to do it. And even if I did I don’t think I would feel comfortable with doing that. (Nothing against J) Mostly because if I protected something and only gave password to a certain few people, then those certain few people would probably just receive a personal email from me. Since I put my profile to public then…well?

Okay shit 1000 words haha. I will stop now. Today was indeed a great day. I actually felt like jumping and singing “OH WHAT A FEELING!” which is that good. Eu- seemed to have opened up a bit today as well, if not reluctantly. Oh well, we take what we get. As time goes on maybe more?

I love you all, BRuCE, Dani, April (get better) and of course Sonam’s cute fringe!

De Fluffe, Out

Subject selections

Well, I’ve left it until the last minute only to realize that there isn’t a choice in the online selection for Chinese outside of school, so, I’ve left it blank and will go to Miss D- tomorrow, after about a day of running around worried.

I’m so glad I don’t have to do Japanese anymore.

I remember writing this blog in my old blog Jalix about how shitty it was that I had to be separated from my friends because of blocking. Because for two years I’ve had nearly every class with them and suddenly I won’t really see any of them in class. I didn’t think back then that we’d still hang out. I thought that classes were the things that held us together. Well okay it kind of was. I mean this year the group dynamics changed a lot, not just for my group but for others too. I haven’t really noticed enough to make an overall comment, but groups have enlarged and split, and changed too. Sa- never hangs out with  us anymore because of her musical commitments but we’ve more or less adopted Bel- and Son-. At the start of the year we lost Julia for awhile to Sha- but she came back :).

But the reason I brought this up is because graduation is going to be a LOT more different. I mean, I might be wrong, we might all go to the same Uni more or less, but see we’ll definitely be doing different courses and at different times…unlike high school, our timetables will become flexible. So…what’s going to happen then? Would I have to make some friends who take my course, and then gradually stop contacting my current ones because…out of sight out of mind? I don’t think so. Too bad guys. I’m fighting for ya.

Bel- wants to start a band. I can’t say I am utterly excited but…I might be wrong. It might be fun. We might be mediocre. I learnt “A Lonely September” yesterday, all of it. My internet is a bit slow today so I can’t link you to the video clip but it’s a nice song and when I get the chance I’ll link you.

Oh I think I may have gotten myself more readers. Although I hope they will become commentors too. So, Car-, and when they do come on, Bee and Eu-, do comment!

Final thing. I said in a previous entry that Car- named a puppy we saw Megan. I was wrong. Apparently she didn’t. Neither of us remember what she actually named her (if she named her at all) but I apologize for “fabricating things”.

But don’t you think that Kenny is a good name for a little hairy puppy?

De Fluffe, Out.

Maybe I should let go…

This blog is going to be very obviously ambiguous. So instead of censoring names so that only those who know me know who I am talking about…now I will be so vague that perhaps even the person I am talking to/about won’t realize.

She doesn’t read this, but anyway.

It just occurred to me how stupid I am, and how little I really know (about her. Oh, I’m not implying that i am all knowing on all other topics, I just…bah) and how insignificant a ripple I have made in her raging storm of emotions compared to the tsunami she made in my puddle.  I’d wanted more. I thought I could give more if it weren’t for that stupid mistake. I am so sorry, that you had to be there when I was changing who I was, and you had to be the one to bear my mistakes. While you didn’t exactly take it perfectly, you took it better than I would have. While I can’t thank you whole heartedly because it still hurts, I no longer blame you – not that I ever had the right to.

I was jealous at first. I’d given it all I could, but she still didn’t seem to care. But now I know better. I could give it my all, and more, and it wouldn’t be right. Some things weren’t meant to be. I’ve said once that this was “a chapter in my life that will never be written”. Maybe Rowling had intended Harry and Hermione to hook up. But for better or for worse, it didn’t happen, that’s the reality of it.

But I talked about it. I don’t know whether it was an act of weakness, or a cry for compassion. I don’t even know if I talked to the right person about it. But I think I did. And by chance today I have found something that gave me that final push. What was holding me back before? Invisible threads of wanting and wishing, of false hopes and leading smiles. Despite the fact that with every indifferent answer, every tear forced back and every hurt look some threads were hacked away, for two years they held on. Today, they finally broke

It’s not that I no longer care, but I no longer wish to keep going.

She’s better off this way. Maybe I’m better off this way.

Maybe she’ll read this, and know I am talking about her. Maybe someone else would read this and think I am talking about them. For those two cases, I guess both are true. But for another, I will never let go. Good part is, she – the 3rd her – would probably have realized this anyway.

Ambiguity sucks when all the pronouns are of one gender. I should make some guy friends.

The tone has changed in my entry hasn’t it? Yeah, I’ve moved on. If you’re reading this and you know I am talking about you (I’ve left breadcrumbs the size of loaves) then it’s nothing against you. Of course. You might feel a huge burden lifted. I’m not leaving you completely. But you’ve got your bubble back. I hope you will have a good one. What’s going to happen in the future? We both know it, although I don’t want to think about it yet. Is it what you want? It’s happening already isn’t it?

Was I a mistake?