Monthly Archives: August 2010

Those Things We Learned And Grown To Hate

[Picture Frames – Georgia Fair]

Last day of Winter today, so last day of me doing this song thing. Wait til Summer for it to come back!

I hate that it’s the last day of Winter…I loved this Winter. Jac’s birthday, my birthday, Josh’s birthday…good shit.

And also I hate that the weather will get warmer. It was warm yesterday already. I think I will start my complaints.

Got home late tonight and now I am worried about my CMEL assignment. I will work hard to finish it Wednesday night and Thursday, then hand it in Friday. Hopefully. Then I can REST!

I’ve been writing more when I should be working. I finished Chapter 7, and I will have to title it and do some proofing. This chapter was hard. I actually rewrote most of it.

Maybe I’ll try to enjoy Summer this year? I don’t know exactly who I’ll spend it with because Jac will be overseas all Summer but I guess I’ll try to enjoy it. Maybe get a tan. HAHA NO! I think I’ll rent a shitload of TV series and watch it at home with the curtains drawn and the aircon on. THAT sounds good shit.

Bye Winter. I thank you for 3 months of good memories.

Alex.

Please Don’t Look At Me With Those Eyes

[First Date – Blink 182]

So today on Tumblr, the Daily Wh.at linked to this discussion: If you’re about to enter into a Groundhog Day loop, what would you do to prepare?

Instead of writing a lot (I did write some, but not a lot) I started thinking about it.

Granted you read around half a page of the discussion, then you’d know what I’m about to suggest is largely based from what I read – hey, they had good ideas! But, in a nutshell, this is what I’d do.

Firstly, I am going to go with the same assumption as the movie does, and say that the reset time is at 6 am. And, for the purposes of making this discussion actually interesting, I’m going to give myself a decent amount of money, and at least 2 days’ of notice because…well you’ll see why. So, let’s say that the day I will relive for the next 3652 days (roughly 10 years) is from a Friday 6am to Saturday 6am. It just so happens that Christmas Eve this year is on a Friday. I do believe I will project my repeating day for the Christmas Eve Friday (you may wonder why I don’t make it next Friday. Well, see, that’s because it will be summer in New York and I hate summer).

Alright, so on Wednesday I’ll fly from here (Melbourne) to New York. The flight takes roughly 21 hours and 30 minutes, so I’ll say 22 for the sake of delays. If I take off at a cushiony 10 am here in Melbourne, I’ll arrive at New York 4pm on Wednesday (I’ve just taken a few minutes to factor in our respective Daylight Savings). I’ll force myself to get as used to the local time as possible (not to complicate my life, I will say that the 6am-6am works via New York’s time), and so on Thursday I will go to bed at a nice 9:30-10pm. This way, when I wake up at 6am on Friday, I will be thoroughly refreshed – ensuring that I will be thoroughly refreshed for each time that I wake up for the next 10 years.

But, wait, there’s more!

Upon arriving at New York on Wednesday afternoon, I will sort out my affairs. I will rent out a relatively cheap motel room for a night, but at the same time make bookings at the best hotel in New York for their best suite. The booking time? Thursday 6pm – Saturday 10am. I will therefore get that room for the duration of the loop, without having to waste time on check-in and check-out. Also, I’ll hire a personal chauffeur for the day.

I’ll make dinner reservations at all the good restaurants in New York, and depending on which one I feel like, I go to whichever one for Friday. I’ll load my phone with plenty of credit, have my credit cards ready to use (again, I assume I have credit cards), charge up my iPod with all the best songs (unfortunately I’ll probably get sick of these songs, but that’s okay because I’ll have my laptop ready to download new music each morning if I have to), and make sure my wallet and bag is all well packed.

Next, I will find a way to have a drum-set, electric guitar and, if possible, a piano delivered to my room. I will probably get sick of trawling the city after a while, so I must set myself some hobbies and goals I can do despite being reset. Like Murray, I can learn instruments – get the number of a teacher and see if they can’t come teach me on Christmas Eve each time when I call up. Who knows, I might even try to learn to swim!

And this was a point that was fantastically suggested on the site: Find a book series with over 3652 pages (the Harry Potter series should do nicely) and mark the page that would the 3652nd. Make yourself read a page and one page only every morning without fail. You will retain the memory of what you read the previous day. Once you’ve gotten to the 3652nd page, you will know that you will wake up tomorrow and Saturday will go on.

With all these things sorted, of course there will be downsides.

First of all, that’s 10 years of waking up completely alone. And even if you go to bed with someone, you’ll wake up completely alone. I know that I WILL get sick of doing it. I’ll get sick of the songs on my iPod, the songs on the radio, the sound of my alarm, the hotel staff, the food for breakfast, the weather, the restaurants, the fact that I have to read Harry Potter a page at a time…and most likely I will come to detest Christmas. Even if I travel elsewhere (another reason for choosing New York is that it takes around 8 hours to fly to London, and just a bit more for other parts of Europe. If anything I can get up at 6, go to the airport and go somewhere else) I’ll get sick of the routine.

I will run out of movies to see at the theater, I will get sick of making new friends each day, I will be tired of drinking til I throw up but still be fine the next day…it WOULD be nice if I had a partner or someone to spend the days with for sure, but then I’d come to be sick of them too.

Maybe Christmas Eve was not the best choice. All that bustle would be wonderful for the first week but…it will be hell traffic later on.

Hmm…

Well, what do YOU think?

Alex.

When I Made Your Body Shiver

[Brick By Brick – Train]

I COMPLETELY WENT PAST MY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY ON THIS BLOG!

August 18th. 2 years. Although my blogging wasn’t as frequent in the past year as it was in the year prior, I think that the most change happened in this past 12 months. Apart from, obviously, graduation in an academic sense, I feel I’d also graduated in an emotional sense.

Though, as all graduates go, I do have days where I wish I was back there, 12 months ago.

Here’s to another 12 months of saying I will get a job, move out, and find my significant other – and failing to do so.

(I say this so negatively because if, somehow, in 12 months’ time I actually am working a decent job, living away from home and in a loving relationship, I would feel so so so much better.)

Alex.

Your Lipstick His Collar, Don’t Bother, Angel

[Cute Without The E (Cut From The Team) – Taking Back Sunday]

I’m writing this at past 5 pm so I would have no idea who will win the Australian election, but I thought I’d write something now before I get submerged into the world of Pokemon.

First of all, I know that who I voted for will cause some eyebrow raises – in fact I refused to tell my parents who I voted for because I think if I did, they might freak. But it was my vote, am I right? If you voted for Liberals, I would sigh and ask you repeatedly ‘why’, but I wouldn’t hate you or anything for it. It’s like if my incredibly adorable and non-existent puppy peed on my foot. I would sigh and tap it on the nose and sound disappointed, but I won’t hate it.

Just as we ducked out of our car, my parents and I, and walked towards the primary school where the voting was taking place in my neighborhood, it started pouring like mad. I thought it was ironically (if not self-centeredly) appropriate, because I was heading towards my first political action, and boom the heavens decide to weep.

I was originally going to go in with a 1 for Labour and 4 for Family First (again, I’m not against families, but I don’t like their policies even more). But then when I got my name ticked off, and stood at the ballot booth (which was less of a booth and more of a table with blinders), I looked at the green slip of paper.

I live in the electorate of Bruce (I think it’s pretty safe to say which electorate I live in publicly) so I can’t be sure what the other electorates’ green slips looked like, but on mine, from top to bottom, the House of Reps candidates went as: Liberals, Greens, Family First, Labour.

Right next to my green slip of paper was this brochure that “taught” us how to vote for Liberals in Bruce. It showed a Donkey vote, or 1, 2, 3, 4 in that order going down the paper. So Liberals would be first, Labour last. For some reason, that infuriated me. I wanted to use my pencil and punch through the face of the candidate on that brochure. Then I heard my parents 2 booths down talking to each other about what numbers to put down. Mom was asking where Labour was, and saying “screw the rest” (or to that effect). Then, remembering the Greens campaign ads and the ceiling cat, I made my decision. Putting a 1 next to Greens, I went down the list.

Empowered by my radical decision to vote for a small party instead of the usual Labour/Liberal, I looked at my much larger white piece of paper (for the Senate, the upper house). Well at this point my parents were already done, and I just wanted to go home (I had an essay to write). So looking over the top row, the first word that caught my eye was “Sex”. Yes, the Australian Sex Party managed to get my attention using the oldest trick in the book. I smiled to myself, but then went on to look for either Greens or Labour.

Then my Yr 12 Legal Studies class came back to me; Senate voting is different. It’s not really who gets the majority seat in each electorate, but as long as they get a certain amount of votes, a party will have a seat in the Senate (or something along those lines. Look I got low 30s for my Legal Studies, I don’t remember exactly). And I thought; as little as my one vote in my rather conservative electorate may count, I might as well do my part. I hate homophobia, because I don’t even see a good reason why it occurs apart from the fact that a really old book said so. I also agree with quite a few of the Australian Sex Party’s views. Even if they may never get the chance to exercise any Bills, I want them in the Senate to oversee the Bills that do go through. So, being the lazy radical that I have turned out to be, I put a lonesome 1 next to their still-funny name, folded my paper, and walked to the ballot box.

So tonight I will be watching the movies on GO! and playing Pokemon instead of watching the results. I’m not hopeful enough to think that Greens or the ASP would get anywhere enough power, so I might as well enjoy myself. Besides, Twitter will keep me updated on what is happening.

Nearly 800 words to describe what was a 60-second story. Ironically, the essay (that I did manage to finish, if not shonkily) is also 800 words. Funny how much faster I can do it here.

Alex.

You And Me, And A Bottle Of Wine

[Save Tonight – Eagle Eye Cherry]

Actually wrote another uni post. Wow. Been a bit droughty lately.

I haven’t written in ages which isn’t a good thing but I wasn’t sure what to write for last week. Neither, for this week, but I suppose I can just see what flows?

First of all, I have to say that despite not quite getting the whole semiotic deal (might have to go back to – ahem start – the reading for this week), I really like analysing the ads. I mean, we see hundred of ads everyday, from posters to tiny small ones (like just the brand name). But we do ever really think about why that caught our eye, or made us want to get it?

In the tute today, my group was analysing the random Berkowitz sofa ad I found. I mean, on the surface it’s this woman sitting on this nice recliner with a remote control looking off side, but as we went deeper into it, we realized that just the simple fact that’s it’s a middle aged woman with a wedding ring appeals immediately to a certain middle aged married female demography.

So I thought about all the other ads that we see. The ones that means nothing to me weren’t designed to appeal to me. They featured older looking people, of a different gender maybe, doing things that I don’t have an interest in doing like sailing or playing with their kids. I don’t look at twice at those, but perhaps someone wanting to have a happy family, or interested in sailing (or looking like they’re the kind to go sailing) would look at the ad.

What attracts me would be a new game, or a new phone, items of entertainment (not a fan of fashion) which promises not only entertainment but that image of me being awesome with that new game/phone. So the ads are usually of people looking awesome with that phone, or screenshots of the game that teases out my wishes for immersion in a fictionl world. That wouldn’t really appeal older people unless they want to look young and hip, or they always liked games. For example, my mom and dad don’t care about what kind of phone they use as long as they are useable (or, in mom’s case, it takes only a few buttons to call me). Games mean nothing to them other than sounds, noises, and are associated with children stuff.

The next time you find yourself looking twice at an ad, I say wonder: “wait, why did I look at this twice?” I know it sounds nerdy but it never ceases to astound me how the simple matter of a good choice in font can make a difference between a kickass ad and a forgotten picture.

Alex.

Alex.

He Doesn’t Want To Read The Message

[From Yesterday – 30 Seconds To Mars]

Today I was at the Biomed library with Mandy and co (they so affectionately refer to it as The Brothel). Annie and I were taking advantage of a rather noisy conversation next to us to discuss with Mandy a matter that was rather private. But we drew attention to ourselves and Belle (newly made friend) asked us what was “unbelievable” as Mandy kept repeating.

I didn’t want to say anything, and, seeing an opportunity to make reference to a fantastic sitcom, I replied, “we were just saying how Mandy has a third nipple.”

(In case you missed it too, this reference was to FRIENDS, and how Chandler has a third nipple.)

Well, suffice to say, the secret conversation we were trying to have didn’t get leaked, but instead the nipple kept popping up.

(I saw what I did there.)

I was disappointed that not a single person noticed the FRIENDS reference, though.

Alex.

Wake Up With Bloodshot Eyes

[Makes Me Wonder – Maroon 5]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH WHORE-FACE!

Actually, it’s tomorrow, yes FRIDAY THE 13TH. But today we went for your birthday dinner, which was meant to be but didn’t turn out to be a surprise.

We went to Perfume Central at the start to get your birthday present. We sampled many different colognes to find the one that shouted “I’M A MANWHORE” which was actually quite hard because there were two of them. We decided on the one that we got you because it smelled rather good, in my opinion.

After getting the cake, and meeting up with everyone (and accidentally leaving Mai behind at Melbourne Central), we met up at Red Silks for your dinner. Yeah, Red Silks. It may not be the most high-brow place but it has become our group’s place of laughs and memories, so it was a good choice. Same table as last time, too.

The great thing about a group who shares so many memories is that conversation never lulls. And if all else fails, Mai’s boobs and Anna’s confusion always provides interest.

Anyway, I think you had a rather good time tonight (and you got a kiss out of Anna, which I bet you loved), and I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow (despite having to work so early and so much, and tomorrow being Friday the 13th haha).

I meant what I wrote in your card, brethren.

Love,

Alex.

Whenever I’m Alone With You

[Love Song – Anberlin] (They covered it, I think, so it’s not their original, but I don’t know whose it is…)

I just discovered (yes, just) and fell and in love with the site My Mom is a Fob.

Bad timing, seeing as my assignments are coming in soon.

Anyway, this encapsulates Asian parents:

I got this email from my mom right after Mother’s Day. Some stuff had happened that weekend that got to me, and I guess my mom could sense it. I think, this is more sentimental than anything, but wanted to share (even if was from a while back ago).

I like letting you know, every time when you have any problem or difficulty, your are not alone, you could call us any time or just come home and talk with us, some time life is up and down, happiness and sadness, we are always behind you, supporting you, that is what family value stand for…

Also, yesterday in Angie’s wedding I almost could not recognized you, because your make up. In Korean drama, they always have a saying ” Woman’ heavy make up made them fake”. So, try to learn natural make up matter, because that will show our truly faces, and men like that for sure, especially Asian men (you can ask Dad for that). The last thing I like to mention is Health- I change my life style, try to sleep early during the night, when you work whole day in front of computer, save your eye, and give your eye and liver a rest time. That will help your skin too. Next weekend if you like to have a hot pot together at home let me know I will prepare for it. Dad and I, we like you have a happy, healthy, and a strong faith life, always PRAY and THANK to GOD. Love MOM

Basically, “we love you, okay, now, you need to fix yourself”. It was like when Poh came 2nd on the 1st season of Masterchef Australia, and the judge asked her mom whether she’s proud of her daughter cooking so well in Malay cuisines, and her mom said, “yes, but she chopped and changed a lot of things”. Asian parents will NEVER stop at “yes we’re proud” there is ALWAYS a “but they screwed up”.

More:

My mom recently learned “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” to sing to my son.

“Tha itchy bitchy spider went up water spout…”

I was on my way to my internship via subway in Korea one summer and this 60-year old man decided he wanted to hit on me. He came over and told me he would give me his name card and after I rejected him I texted my mom to tell her what happened. Her reply: “psycho like that need to get their penis thin sliced. mommy good at cooking and chopping, i do it for you. take his name card.”

It snowed a ton in New York not too long ago, and my mom, who is from California had this to say on me making a snowman, via her new favorite form of communication, text message:

Mom: Exciting! Try to make a female snowman!
Me: Will do mom
Mom: Take a picture of it! Make sure the cup size is 40 DDD!

My mom just learned to text the day before:
Dear d Sure i wil meet you at time 7p square soon no 7p it is a tzphgg typing earror soppps Oh i give up

Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it’ll take them longer and you can escape.

So my mom is a VERY protective mother. This is what happened after she watched a 60 minutes special on Online Predators. I’m watching a Video Blog on Youtube…

Mom: Who is that guy?
Me: I don’t know
Mom: Why is he talking to you??
Me: It’s a video…
Mom (at the computer): GO AWAY, MY DAUGHTER DON’T WANT TO MEET UP AND TALK TO YOU

“My parents’ intent was to name me Stephanie.”

-Staphanie Tung

Dear Felicia:

How are you doing? Back to school always exited, right ? say hi to your lovely girl freinds and all those sticky boys for me lol ,ahhh, i like this word lol, it looks like somebody hands a ball to me. Capital LOL likes people are kicking a ball. Lol like a ball find a hole to slip away from cage (this is what i feel when i drove you to airport), lOl looks like I am squeezing Chang Yi’s cheeks. lOL Ahhh…….. I am leaning on a comfortable cushion…….ahhhhhhh…………………….

Love,
Mom

Mom: Why is Eminem controversial? Is it because he’s a white guy who acts black?
Me: I dunno. Some people think he’s misogynistic.
Mom: What? [looking really offended]
Me: It means that he hates women.
Mom: [still offended] Why would you say something like that to me?
Me: Misogynistic? I know it’s not a common word, but I explained what it meant.
Mom: Why would you say in front of your mother that he’s… [flustered] massaging his d*ck?!?!?

Okay that’s it for today. GO ON THE SITE!

Alex.

Kept Playing Love Like It Was Just A Game

[This Love – Maroon 5]

Aw, just then when I turned on iTunes to get a song for the title, I had my volume turned all the way down to mute. iTunes gave me a warning that it was turned down, and if I want sound I should slide it back up. iTunes takes care of me.

Anyway, so today I was in my Intercultural Communications lecture and I got a text in the middle of the lecture, having forgotten to turn my phone on silent. I saw the following message from a number I don’t have listed:

I love you. I know I don’t say it often enough or make nearly as much effort as you deserve, but I want you to know I’m thinking of you and missing you… ❤

Apart from the embarrassment of having my phone go off, needless to say I had a shock, and wondered who it was. So, tentatively, I replied to ask for the identity of the sender.

Then I got this:

Omg lol I’m an idiot…it’s me, Cathy. I lost my phone last week, assumed you would’ve seen on FB. Wow I feel stupid now…

HUGE burden off my chest. I was getting worried as to who loved me and missed me and thought about me without me knowing who it was.

The ironic thing is, she always used to call me a disgustingly sweet nickname, or used to refer to herself as Bobobear (haha yeah, it’s just one of those names) but the ONE TIME that it would have been useful for her to do so, she didn’t.

Anyway, just a funny moment today.

Miss you, Bobobear.

Love, Alex.