Neigh-fuckin’-har

Today in Legal, I sneezed.

If I’m frank, I would say I’m not exactly a quiet sneezer. Leaning more towards a very loud sneezer. If Carmaine comments, she’d write that I shatter solid objects with my sneeze. In fact every time I sneeze, she employs a clever little analogy linking my sneezing to, for example, an atomic bomb explosion.

So I sneezed in Legal.

Mr Sho- paused in the middle of his spiel about police powers, looked at me (at this point the class was giggling [shakes fist]) and said, “Wow, that’s a lot of horsepower for such a trim figure.”

Needless to say, the whole class burst into fits of laughter.

Two weeks ago at Chinese school, I sneezed, and Dom (different Dom to the one whom I mention usually) started laughing. I promptly stood up to bash him.

It has not been a good day for me.

Alex.

Starbucks

Dom and I had a mini argument via emails over whether Starbucks is better than Gloria Jean’s.

I made a lame crack (not to him, I’ve forgotten whom to) that “Starbucks” has the word “bucks” in it, and Gloria Jean’s has “Gloria” which sounds like “glorious”. So, subliminally speaking, I like GJ’s.

Anyway, I was going to buy a muffin for Fafa for her birthday, which was yesterday, so I went to the Starbucks which is between Lt Collins and Collins. And I’m not used to going to Starbucks, more GJ’s. ‘Cos at GJ’s I just say “regular caramelatte please” and it’s all good, but I don’t know what things are in Starbucks, and I’m short sighted so it’s hard to read the menu.

I got the Signature Hot Choc, with a shot of espresso, marshmallow hold the cream.

If DOM you were THERE instead of being LATE I wouldn’t have looked so noob.

This is a dry patch for blogging. Sorry.

I COULD blog about the Kyle and Jackie O scandal thing, but look, I’ve said what I wanted to the people whose opinions matter to me. I am too tired to go through my points again.

Alex.

Woman Mario Player

Mm not such an effective play on “woman driver”. Not that I’m sexist against myself.

I had a triple free this afternoon, as I have had for the past 6 months. However today Julia joined me, I think one of her teachers was absent.

I was in the library attempting to start Chapter 5, and wrote perhaps half a page. I then gave up and played some Tetris.

Julia joined me, and was a bit bored watching me play Tetris, so I exited and asked her, “What would you like to do?”

She did her “I dunno” shrug. She hinted that she likes Mario Kart or “anything Mario really” and when Mario Kart didn’t work out online, I found a site which allows her to play old-school Mario.

And so that made my day. Julia’s used to the Mario controls on the DS, and not on the keyboard, and despite her best intended efforts, sometimes she just forgets to jump.

There was a part where the turtle shell would come at her (which would cause her to die) and she couldn’t jump over the pipe out of the way. So instead everytime the shell ricocheted back towards her she jumped frantically, not wanting to die. After all, at that point, she’d died about 5 times.

She’d get ready to jump a chasm by saying “Ok I’ll do a running start” and then forget to jump so she’d just run straight to death.

I suppose it’s no fun me talking about it, it was a “you had to be there and laughing at her” sort of thing.

Thanks, Julia, for a wonderful afternoon. Mr Gucci (not his real name) glared at us several times.

Alex.

The Quiet Screaming

The Quiet Screaming – Legion of Doom.

Original artists are (in order of song appearance, lyrics wise):

Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessionals

and

The Quiet Things No One Ever Knows by Brand New.

Catherine noted that I hadn’t blogged in a while. Apart from lack of material, also I just didn’t feel like it.

My iPod came to this song today while I was by myself at Jack’s, and the starting riffs just took me so completely, just reflected my mood, that I couldn’t stop thinking about this song.

It seems mashed up, I know, and Amy said so. But I think most of the appeal from the song is that I am so familiar with Dashboard’s half, and I’m semi-familiar with Brand New’s half, and the mash-up was just right.

Anyway, enjoy.

Alex.

Excitement to the Maxxx

The Glen Waverley line was “suspended until further notice” today because there was an accident somewhere at Glen Iris. So we (BRuCE, Fel and Nat) took a much more cooler route.

We took the Blackburn, disembarking at Camberwell to take the Alamein and got off at Ashburton where we took a bus to Glen Waverley.

That meant nothing to anyone, did it.

When we were at Ashburton, we were waiting for a bus to come. I took out my Jila mints from my jacket pocket, only to have 4 of them spill out onto the ground. Needless to say I was traumatized.

Nat picked one up, and after lengthy discussion, decided not to eat it, and threw it out onto the road.

We tracked the little white mint, rolling away.

And then it started rolling back towards us, being on a slant.

At the nearby lights, the traffic started coming closer.

“It’s gonna crush the mint!”

We watched as the cars came even closer.

We watched as the mint rolled steadily towards the gutter.

The car was 10 meters away.

The mint is going to be crushed.

It’s coming.

It’s coming (oh shut up)…!

IT MISSED!

THE MINT ROLLED CLEAR OF THE CAR BY ABOUT 20 CMS! THE CAR MISSED THE MINT!

We all shouted in disappointment.

Carmaine shook her head a little, and told me I can blog about this, it being such an exciting event.

So I did.

Alex.

Ode to Catherine

I suppose I really should write something sentimental about you, Catherine, seeing as I owe you a big one.

Mm but what usually goes into mushy crap like this?

I’ve told you already, but my first clear memory of you was that time for Julia L’s 15th (it had to have been) and it was a really hot day. I had a Legal project due soon, about graffiti, so I was walking around the Glen area taking rather pathetic photos of the graffiti. Then I was walking past the train station and I saw Julia and I yelled out. You were standing there as well, with Eunice in tow (for other readers, it’s a different Eunice to the one I mention frequently). I remember seeing you and thinking, “God she’s thin.”

Ok I’ve done the “when we first met” bit. What else?

But we weren’t friends then. We weren’t really friends throughout 2007, either, apart from the occasional word we’d exchange whenever Eunice is around. I remember constantly mistaking you for Tooronga Girl instead of your actual title, Kooyong Girl, and of course never remembering your name. I think I always asked if it’s Lisa or Jenny.

No, we became friends when you came to me for my Legal textbook at the end of 2008. As the requirement of such actions, numbers were exchanged. On a whim one day, I called you “just to chat”. To my surprise and definite pleasure, you were very easy to talk to on the phone. And despite your insisting not to buy my book as it would be an outdated edition, we’d established communication.

Okay so now I’ve done the “how we became friends” bit. I think it’s time to get to the nitty-gritty-Kleenexy moments.

After that, we really didn’t speak much again, until one day in early March or late February, I texted you after having taken the train with you (at least, I think that’s what’d happened). We struck up conversation again, and apart from a negligible hiccup of about 2 weeks, we’d kept in reasonably constant contact over the phone.

But I never realized the amount of importance you’d be to me until only about 2 months ago.

I opened up and started trusting you, sometimes to the utmost extent. And it was a huge gamble on my behalf, and it was a gamble that, for the lack of a better cliche, paid off big time. You’re such a small person (yes, but taller than me I concede) but you are able to help and support so much without actually receiving that much back. I mean, you received maybe a free meal once and a cheap laugh every now and then but apart from that what do you ask for return? Probably to leave you alone on the eve of SACs.

And of course this morning, so selflessly you skipped Methods for me.

I do love you very much, Catherine. And I hope all works out well for you. I’ve made it sound like I’m going away forever, I’m not. I just made it sound like that.

Alex.

P.S. In other news, Eve came up to Carmaine and I today in Methods (well, really just Carmaine but I was right next to her) and said, “Look I have a burning question I HAVE to get the answer to.” And Carmaine and I got a bit interested. “What…WHO is the “U” in BRuCE?”

Wow.

Because Of You

To lighten the mood I’d joked that I’d blog about it but in a mock-serious manner, making it worse than it actually was.

But the truth was it was nonetheless one of the scariest moments in my life.

Here is a dramatic recount:

7:19 am. Carmaine has embarked onto the 3rd carriage of one of Connex’s oldest models of trains at Syndal station. She rejected the offer for a seat and stood by herself to the side. Her back was facing the rest of the group.

7: 19 am – 7:45 am. Onboard the train. The train ride passes as per usual, with light hearted conversation being thrown around. Other passengers of the morning train embarked upon the locomotive, partially blocking Carmaine from the rest of the group.

7:42 am. Passing Kooyong station. Carmaine has remained noticeably quiet throughout the train ride. Sudden thump sounded. At first it was mistaken that the train, in its age, had a mechanical problem. But as I turned around to look, I noticed that Carmaine was no longer visible.

7:43 am. Stood up briskly, shouting, “Carmaine!” Rest of the group noticed that something had gone awry. Pushed aside man partially blocking Carmaine. Carmaine was on floor, having collapsed. Her eyes were closed and her face pale. Asked someone to press the emergency button only to find none on board. Dialled 911. Yes. In my state of utter shock I’d dialled the American emergency number. Fortunately it reconnected to 000.

7:44 am. Train arrived at Heyington Station. Was on phone with Ambulance. She asked for the nearest suburb. Wasn’t sure, so said, “Heyington Station on the Glen Waverley line! St Kevin’s College!” Woman repeatedly told me to calm down and tell her the nearest suburb. Disembarked train, helped Carmaine to nearest bench. Caitlin was on phone with Ambulance, having more success than I. The train driver, being notified by a kind lady who had ran from 3rd carriage to inform him, made sure all was under control, and promptly left.

7:45 am. Called Carmaine’s mother, received no answer.

7:46 am. Called Carmaine’s dad. Explained situation to him. Carmaine was feeling better and color had returned to her cheeks.

7:48 am. The next train arrived on platform. We had been standing around trying to keep ourselves warm and make small talk. I was not cold, I was running on adrenaline.

7:49 am. Embarked upon the crowded carriage, and asked that Carmaine have a seat as she had been ill. A kind woman and man gave up their seats and Annie sat with Carmaine, who was still rather weak.

8:10 am. Arrived at Melbourne Central station, where we disembarked so to allow Carmaine to sit down and eat. Sat down at food court. Got Carmaine cinnamon pretzels and the others had McDonalds.

8:12 am. Made numerous phone calls to the school to ensure their awareness of our circumstances. Joked lightheartedly – away from the phone – that Carmaine had given us all an excuse to skip Period 1 and have McDonalds for breakfast.

8:40am. Having spent enough time at Melbourne Central, departed to take tram to school.

9:00 am. Arrival at school. Promptly took Carmaine to Sick Bay. The lady behind the desk looked at Carmaine meaningfully and said, ‘I’ve been talking to your mom.”

9:01 am. Bid farewell to Carmaine, and proceeded to do the necessary paperwork. I.e. Seeing Mr Rus-, filling out late book etc.

9:05 am. Put bag back in locker. Walked Carmaine to her next class, which she insisted on attending.

All times were rough estimations.

The preceding story was based on a true story.

Alex.

P.S. Take care of yourself, Carmaine.

Haven’t seen you in a while

Today on the tram ride to Flinders, as a joke, when I sat down next to Jen I pretended that I hadn’t seen her in a while.

“Oh hey! It’s been a while, how’ve you been?” said I.

“I’ve been well,” said Jen.

“Yeah? Katie’s grown up a bit now hasn’t she? How’s she doing?”

“She’s great. Yeah she’s 17 this year.” (Which is of course the same age as Jen currently)

“How’s Tommy?”

“(Tommy’s a crap name.)”

“(YOU’RE the mom.)”

“Tommy’s good. He starts kindergarten next year.”

“Oh wow he sure grew up fast. I still remember when he was this little.”

“Yeah, and Bindi’s 21.”

“Oh wow, must be a handful.”

“Hey you goin’ to the reunion next month?”

“Yeah, the 30th right?”

“(Wow that makes Tommy have a really old mom.)”

“20th? (No that means you had Bindi when you were in Yr 12. 25th, then.) Yeah 25th Reunion. Wow it’s been ages since I’ve seen Julia…”

“And SONAM! Yeah oh did you hear Jen T- is now the…”

“President of China?”

“Yeah and plus she discovered a cure for cancer.”

“And April…well we have to call her Senator Scarlett now. (No wait, you can’t be a Senator if you’re not born in America.)”

…

And so it went on.

The looks we got.

Alex.

Unbelievable

I don’t know if you have heard about the family that has been killed in their sleep in NSW’s North Epping.

Here are the details of the case:

Lin family’s killer walked into their North Epping home before he massacred family

Reading the article, I was just hit by the fact that the family’s 15 year old daughter is now left to live the rest of her life alone, with the knowledge that her two parents and two brothers were killed brutally – and I mean brutally. The force of this attack is more than just shooting or slashing – while she was away. She’d be left for the rest of her life haunted by the thought; “it could’ve been me” and maybe even “I wish it had been me too” because now she is alone.

My thoughts go out to her.

Alex.

Possibly the worst one yet…

Today Jack managed to say probably the most awkward thing he has so far.

He asked this guy, Doug, why he wasn’t there with his “girlfriend”.

“Catherine?” he asked. “Catrina? Why aren’t you here with your girlfriend?”

“She’s my sister.”

“Oh.”

[awkward turtle]

Alex.