The Stupid Douchey Thing I Did Today…

This really was one of those token non-too-personal embarrassing things to happen.

I was at Safeway with my dad after Chinese school, had my iPod in and was in a half-daze because I was really tired. I was in the biscuits aisle, and mom had just gone off saying something about getting Lipton Tea that was on sale. Anyway, so I doubled back down the aisle to grab a box of Shapes and I turned around, and saw a trolley with a box of Lipton Teabags in it, so I put my Shapes in there, saying in Chinese, “Why are we getting teabags again?”

I looked up, and a confused pottering old lady stared back at me, her gaze saying, “What in the devil’s name are you doing putting a box of Shapes in my trolley? Do I know you?”

So, in an act of inifite grace, I snatched the box of Shapes back, burying my face in my hands and saying, “OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY! I am so embarrassed! I thought you were my dad!” And she asked me, “Do I look like your dad?” Well, no, my dad’s Asian, male, and fat. You’re old, white, and a woman (I think) so…”No no, it’s just…I was distracted and I…don’t worry, ignore me. Just ignore me. I’m so sorry. Bye…!”

Keep Cool (and your eyes peeled. It’s a metaphor.)

D.F.

6 thoughts on “The Stupid Douchey Thing I Did Today…

  1. HAHHAHAHHAAHHAA.
    I especially love your tags.
    Imagine if the old lady searched this up and found it.
    That’d make this post the other douchey thing you did.

    Now you’re just making me paranoid…

  2. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

    Old lady has no sense of humour.

    Actually that’s very true. I didn’t think about it at the time but most people would’ve found the funny side of what I did. She, on the other hand, asked me if she looked like my dad. She could’ve said something like, “Oh doing the shopping for me?” or “Actually can you put that back I wanted a pack.”

  3. AHAHAHHAA

    “Do I look like your dad?”

    My dad was behind her when she asked me that. His face was like, “What you answer next will determine how much allowance you get this week.”

  4. I actually think “Do I look like your dad?” WAS her humour. Poor thing.

    Oh btw, guess what? I started listening to Taylor Swift on the weekend. She’s actually not too bad. If you’re disgusted, blame your blog and Jen for singing Swift’s song haha. Don’t worry, I still don’t like the JoBros.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! No no no no no! I gotta get you back! GO LISTEN TO ANBERLIN!

  5. 真的是太可爱,我想保你!^w^…

    not creepy?

    Yes uber creepy but for your sake I won’t a) translate it or b) erase it.

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